FR friendzoned in club

[barneystin]

had a terrible night out, i’m currently breaking down my sets and hoping to get feedback on this one particular set as it all went downhill from here.

i get to the club, my usual spot, at about 1am (it closes by 3). Most of my pulls have happened later in the night so nowadays i prefer to use earlier part of the night to hang with friends or do something else.

As im walking around the venue, i make strong eye contact with this girl, took that as an AI and opened her. We made some small talk and i invited her to dance. She was clearly into me, would hold/scratch my head while we danced and gave me intense eye contact while we danced. Our faces would also get really close while we danced like we were about to make out but i wouldn’t go for the make out (if she initiated it, i wouldn’t mind but i prefer not to make out in the club if possible). Her friend is also in the venue and she’s dancing with another guy

They come in and we exchange names and chat. During the course of the conversations, my girl and i return back to each other and left for the bathroom since we wanted to use it. We chat some more, I go in when it’s my turn and i wait for her when it’s her turn.

We leave the bathroom to return to dancing on the dance floor. I seeded the pull by telling her of a spot that’s close by and has a chiller vibe and games. She said she’d be down but since she just got to the club, she’d rather stay for now.

Reasonable answer so we continue dancing, mutually escalating on each other and flirting. While we’re doing the thing where we almost kiss but don’t, she says she has to go check on her friend real quick. i think nothing of it and let her go. Some time had passed in between now and the first pull attempt so i had attempted a pull again. I don’t remember her response but she wasn’t opposed to it.

Anyway she left to talk to her friend who was dancing with a guy and never came back to me. I got caught in a conversation with some other guy and after my chat, i go up to her to ask how she’s doing. She says “can i be honest?” and i say yeah. Then she goes “i think i just like you as a friend”

Literally never had this happen to me at a fucking club so i’m dumbfounded. Obviously something changed with her so i try to sus it out of her but she maintained that nothing changed

I later see her dancing with some other guy shortly after which i left the club. Any idea where i fucked up?

i’m thinking maybe not going for the make up frustrated her but it didn’t seem like it at all so i don’t know

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I am not an expert but I will try to share my perspective. Assess it according to the general vibe you felt during the night and the whole interaction.

The vibe I get is that she felt you were too focused on things going well with her, to the point that it was like you would be there for her and wait till the end of the night no matter what.

The point where you went for the first pull specifically, she casually rejected it, and you stayed there and gave her more positive emotions. To me at least it feels like: we dance and flirt -> he tries to take me out -> I say no -> he accepts it and we dance and flirt more -> he tries to take me out again

Not sure what the energy of the interaction was exactly, but here it seems that you rewarded negative compliance, and followed her lead of staying and getting all the same good emotions there in the club.

Also the way you say it was a reasonable answer shows that you took the whole situation very logically and maybe it came off in your vibe too, that: "Ah ok, she just needs more time, let's keep doing what I am doing, and I try again later".

I guess it could work if the girl needs more comfort, and you change things up to address that, but here you kept doing the same think, believing that time will just pass and then she will want to be pulled.

Even in the end, when she told you she saw you as a friend, you tried to logically get her explain what changed, probably because you were expecting a linear progression of: we like and flirt with each other -> at some point this will lead to more.

I've personally felt that when a girl realises you just expect things to happen it really is a problem. You may think that ok we are having some tension so next step is getting sexual, but what they see is a guy that they flirted with for a while considering getting sexual a closed deal with them.

To take it even further the fact that your whole night ended up bad was exactly because you had the expectation of things working out with this girl because she seemed so into you, so when the logical thing for you didn't happen you weren't even sure how to go about things then.

Practically, I believe you could have left her first at some point, instead of having her leave to go to her friends, and also when she rejected the first pull you could have brushed it off and led her to something else, like drink at the bar, or at some couch, simply to keep leading forward and not just go back to the same thing you were doing before.

And in the end you could have responded with something playful to the friend comment, like:" What, just as friend? I thought we became BFFs by now!", and then change the topic and try to lead or ask for some compliance.

Although the point is that this should have been probably done earlier, so that she didn't feel like you are just the guy that dances, flirts and expects to go to bed, but the guy that takes action, enjoys his time and if it works out he would enjoy going to bed but if it doesn't, he can have fun anyway.

 

[Skills]

Many nightgamers in usa have arrived the conclusion that "kiss denials" not going for the make out when is there, stop working years ago with gen z usa night game, i specifically bring this point here:

Some different tweaks for seduction in new era...

These are already discuss in the forum in other places and in my yearly reviews but it is just a bit of adjustments: - Try texting faster.- This one is HUGE, back in the day we advice to match her response time, so if she took an hour to text back you take an hour and 10 minutes at least...

www.skilledseducer.com

" kiss denials stop working last 3 years or so.- back in the day we would create sexual tension and pretend we would kiss and tease and pull back, with gen z this stop working last 3 years.... Context cold approach night game mainly USA. Women will auto reject and cut interaction, you are better off making out .."

I also made a post on video on night club dynamics, were i specifically said what the girl told you "i just got to the club" is a minor thing, but you got unnecessary negative compliance...