From inexperienced virgin to dating attractive girl, too big of a jump?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I am a virgin in my early 20s and I know people say you should walk before you can run or whatever but in the past I have noticed that girls who are attractive have given me IOIs. It was my lack of experience, lack of aggression, and failure to escalate that resulted in me going anywhere. The main thing that held me back during those times was that I was living with my parents but now I am on my own. Just looking at what has held me back, I have felt that I realistically had a chance with some hot girls or above average looking girls but I blew that chance due to inexperience and unfavorable logistics.

That said, how rare is it for a guy to go from inexperienced virgin to dating or sleeping with an attractive girl? I know Chase has written an article about it but I want to hear from you guys.

 

[daviddreamer]

Not rare...I went from an ex whom I was chasing hard being needy depressed and was clearly a one-up and didn't even get laid and was cheated on she was a 5/10 that had nothing going for her.......to having a beautiful woman now who I am marrying in a month who is like a 9/10 and with a bachelors degree and is actually mature. This was a span of about a year.

Its all in the mind brother. And if you're quick learner (I am had a 4.0 in high school and now in college if that means anything) applying knowledge that you gain through this website can help you with woman and other aspects of your life as well.

Even though I'm getting married I still frequent this site and read to keep my skills up. I want the long-term memory from the things I learn here.

 

[Franco]

Altair,

That said, how rare is it for a guy to go from inexperienced virgin to dating or sleeping with an attractive girl?

Asking "how rare" it is isn't really the right question to be asking. It all depends on how much work you put into it. So in that sense, you're basically asking, "how often do guys who are virgins put in enough work to start becoming good with women until the point that they are dating/sleeping with the attractive ones?

The answer to that is: not many.

Most guys after reaching a certain age of virginity just succumb to the fact that they think they can't get a girl (even though they've never REALLY tried) and end up settling with some average (or below-average girl) in the long run.

However, if you put in as much work as *I* did, then you can be the guy who loses his virginity in his early 20s (I lost mine just a few months before I turned 20) and ends up sleeping with hot girls within a year or two. It all depends on how much work you're willing to put in, and you need to have the drive to push through the early parts of that work because those parts are the hardest. If you continually push and put yourself in situations where you're socializing with attractive women, you will eventually get where you want to be. But if you expect to get there without at least several months of effort, then you are kidding yourself.

- Franco

 

[daviddreamer]

Franco,

I also lost my virginity in my early 20's. I was 20 years old actually. Part of me thinks that being "late" on learning about women and sleeping with woman has a huge plus...and that is we can learn from scratch, observe others mistakes, and not not be pre-conditioned on wrong habits. Say for example you start learning to play guitar when you were 15 but for 5 years you ingrained habits of bad technique...

Also if I remember correctly the guy who did Playboy...that old fella I vaguely recall he didn't lose his virginity until he was 23!

To the OP there is plenty of stories of people being socially awkward individuals and failing with women and completely turning it around. I am living proof of that and so is many other people who took the first steps and didn't give up.

 

[Drck]

I kissed first girl when I was 13-14, if I remember. I didn't like it at all, it just happened that I was around more mature guys and they were experiencing with girls. She didn't even speak my language, and I didn't speak hers. We were just standing in the rain for some 10 minutes, hugging and kissing. I got a good report from one of the experienced guy, he said I did great. Well, I don't really know, the only thing I remember after that is that we went to our place and while these guys were continuing kissing, hugging and touching, I pulled up chess and wanted to play. I thought it was nice to play games, especially when we couldn't communicate otherwise. I guess it was weird but I was not really interested at all...

I had no other experience with girls, and a couple years later I got this really hot girl as a GF., blond, outgoing, mature... I knew her from before by seeing but I never had guts to talk to her. One day she literally rang the door bell and asked me out. So from nothing, 0, I went to having this great and hot GF. We dated couple of months, she was good. Later on I even found out that my best friend was going after her behind my back, but she was faithful... She was Good Girl, not a slut. You know the rest of the story, I was a Nice Guy, didn't have guts to nail her, so she eventually got tired of me and I was dumped, hurt, rejected...

You guys have it easy, you have all those great advices here, great people who help you on GC, you have all the knowledge... I was just hurt, alone, felt abandoned, and what's much worse: totally clueless why she dumped me...

You can easily go from 0 to 100, and from 100 to 0...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

So Franco, simply put, it can be done and is very possible but doesn't happen too often. The phrase "correlation does not equal causation" wouldn't apply here because if some of those guys didn't give up and actually tried to get hot girls they would have succeeded?

 

[Franco]

if some of those guys didn't give up and actually tried to get hot girls they would have succeeded?

Yes.

- Franco

 

[[GC]Jay]

We're pretty much the same at your past situation and I'm still currently in it. I'm 22 soon 23.