Froze up

[Whizzy]

Hey Guys,

Tonight I had a pretty fun date with a new girl and for some reason I froze up at the end when we were saying goodnight. The date itself was fine, easy physical contact and she seemed really drawn to me. However at the and when I started to kiss her I didn't realize she wanted to make out and blew the opportunity because I didn't just go along with it. This is the first time I've slipped up like this since getting serious about dating but just wondered for future reference how to salvage something like that?

 

[Whizzy]

Just a quick update: I did text her this morning to see if she could meet again tonight so I could take her to bed, however she ended up being busy for dinner with a friend and didn't mention rescheduling at all despite knowing I have a business trip next week for a decent period. Should I push for something this weekend/tomorrow or let her come to me now so to speak?

 

[Aspirant]

Yo Whizzy I'm not at that skill level yet to tell you how to salvage it except to not lose your cool in the first place. And as opposed to her flaking on you it might have been from your txting style or inconvenience on her part. And waiting for her to come to you might come down to your chase framing and her attraction for you. I'm not experienced enough to give advice but i hope my couple thoughts gave you an idea on what to look for.

Although depending on how it'll come accross i would consider proposing a meet near your house and move her there and try to escalate and if it doesn't happen or you dont think you'd Learn more from you're encounter id move on. Personally as someone whose just started learning pickup i would rather approach a new girl for a fresh start than hammer away at a lost cause. However since you said she was the one who escalated your encounter to makeout instead of kissing i would say that was a big sign of attraction,
I hope i helped in some way, like i said i'm new and i dont want to give misguided advice so take this reply as it corresponds to your perceptions. - Jake

 

[Whizzy]

I'm definitely still talking to other girls, I'm just wondering how to play this out now. It's not that bad of a mess up if I play it off as doing it on purpose considering she still seems into me

 

[Aspirant]

How's it goin with that girl who flaked?

 

[diegoC]

Hi Whizzy,

My advice:

… when I started to kiss her I didn't realize she wanted to make out and blew the opportunity because I didn't just go along with it.

Kissing releases sexual tension. Full blown out kissing is not the best thing to do if you want to get her to your place.
Next time, if you kiss a girl and you see she wants to make out like crazy stop (in a smooth not obvious way). Then compliment her on the kiss ("I love your lips", "You are a good kisser"). Let her sink the compliment in and just continue to talk about whatever.

Should I push for something this weekend/tomorrow or let her come to me now so to speak?

I wouldn't. I would just text her after the trip.

Cheers!

 

[Whizzy]

Aspirant,

We have exchanged a couple texts since the date, but nothing too big. I'm thinking that I need to limit my texts to her towards setting up dates only.

Diego,

Kissing releases sexual tension. Full blown out kissing is not the best thing to do if you want to get her to your place.
Next time, if you kiss a girl and you see she wants to make out like crazy stop (in a smooth not obvious way). Then compliment her on the kiss ("I love your lips", "You are a good kisser"). Let her sink the compliment in and just continue to talk about whatever.

We did continue the conversation briefly, but it was short lived as that was at the end of the date.

I wouldn't. I would just text her after the trip.

I am planning on texting her tomorrow sometime to see if we can set another date up. I used one of Chase's formats for an after date text but I am pretty sure she felt like that was a little too grandiose for her style as she seemed to shy away after.

 

[Whizzy]

Another quick update,

She sent me this text today after I asked her what her last name was to add her on facebook "I think you're really nice and I enjoy talking with you, but I'm just looking for friendship right now and I don't want to string you along". I know chase normally recommends going with it but being playful at the same time. However I am not sure if that is the right approach for this situation?