Hi all.
I am 27 now, had never have a girlfriend, my only sex was paid. Purchased Chase's book and have been studying it for a while. After a HUGE regret at not closing a deal that was really close, and frustration that I didn't stand a chance at getting girls I befriended and wanted, I managed to meetup with a decent looking girl I met online.
I try to keep this story short, I just got home after a frustrating night and typing this now at 1am, hope u don't mind my langauge and all the details.
This girl kind of msg'ed me online, passed me her number and chat with her online, and exchanged Facebook accts as well. From what I saw on her FB, she broke up with her second bf last Dec, and from the holiday photos she posted with her ex's, she probably had sex. So...more experienced than me. We met up after a few days.
1st meetup
I dressed quite decently with chinos, t-shirt and boat shoes. Just made sure i looked decent to avoid my appearance getting in the way, as stated in the book's fundamentals.
She had just finished her zumba class and was in her PT attire when we met in town. That first impression was a little bit of a let down for me, compared to what I saw on Facebook. I got a bit of a chit chat going, asking her how was her zumba class and so forth. I don't consider myself a good conversationalist, so I tried to just keep the talking going whenever silence was about to set in. I kept going until we reached a restaurant and settled down for lunch.
First thing she asked was that she could not believe I was under 30 and asked to confirm if I am not 35+++ and not married. She even asked for my ID card to see my birthday. That was the second WTH moment for me, though I am kind of used to people saying I looked much older. She even asked how I age so fast.
Throughout the lunch, I thought the chat went rather well. Please note I'm a noob at this, as long as we were exchanging talk I thought it was a decent first step.
She mentioned numerous times about not having someone to go with to her holiday. First thing I thought was this girl kind of just wants to have a boyfriend.
Throughout lunch we chat rather well, though there were some silences along the way. Shared mainly on our travels and where she hoped to go. Managed to keep her in with me and not msg'ing on her handphone, unlike previous girls I went out with. And got her spiked up about attending some stand-up comedy shows with me the following week.
We left the restaurant after an hour, went to another cafe to keep the location fresh, and settled down for another 1.5 hrs of talk.
I know I should be moving fast, but by 3pm I was running out of stuff to talk to her about, and the moments of silences was kind of adding up. We left eventually, I didn't had the urge to bring her elsewhere and at that moment I decided maybe I should move on to another girl.
I learned from a previous date mistake that I should at least bring a girl home after the first date, but I just didn't feel like sending her back by cab and pay for it. So I just waited with her at the bus stop for 18 mins I think? Managed to keep some talk going before her bus arrived. Parted ways by touching her arms saying goodbye. (some physical escalation?)
Went home feeling abit disappointed, but thought it was good practice. I was kind of surprised she msg'ed me the next day, saying she checked out the comedy shows I told her about and was excited to catch one.
2nd meetup
Brought her to a French restaurant, and we totally enjoyed the food. Again, tried to converse like Chase wrote in the book...adjusting frames...tried taking the conversation on the emotional level...tried deep diving further on her dreams and wants.
Still some moments of silence here and there, but nothing too bad. After dinner we started walking to catch the comedy show. I tried walking with her side-by-side, so I can have some chances of maybe brushing against her hands...some physical contact.
But she kept asking me to lead the way, and I ended up walking in front of her at some moments. When the chance came, I just positioned myself beside her when we walked and started talking again.
At the show, we managed to get a sofa seat and so I made sure I sat close to her. Again...she kind of avoid the physical contact? I had her sitting in a corner to kind of box her in as mentioned in Chase's book. Made things comfortable for her.
End of the night, she enjoyed the show. It was a Wed night, and after the show I tried bringing her somewhere else, but she insisted she wanted to get home for work the next day. Maybe I did not persist enough? On the cab, I think I made the mistake of talking about my own dreams and perspective instead of hers. Wanted to drop her off at her home straight, but she insisted dropping off at a street quite some distance from her house.
End of night.
3rd meetup
3rd meetup was 2 weeks later. Again I didn't follow up immediately from the response I got on our 2nd meetup. LOL maybe I was expecting too much of myself. Still, she msg me regularly sharing funny posts and photos, and we chat on some days for a while. I decided to give it another shot and arranged to meetup with her again.
I was determined to close this time. I arranged to eat at a restaurant at a hotel. Reviewed my notes I wrote after our two previous meetups, re-read Chase's book again on physical escalation and conversation...getting the logistics in place. Went to the meetup location 1 hour early to check on traffic and taxi queues. LOL even checked out the nearest alternative hotels and nearest 24hr clinic to get ECP pills.
So...we met up around 7pm. Keeping the physical escalation in mind, I tried grabbing her hand to cross a busy road.
"Give me your hand," I said.
"Nah it's okay, you can stand over there," she said. Brushed me off instantly. Still I lead her when crossing the road, having my hand at her back.
We chat, alittle cold at first but we warmed up quickly. Plus the food was good and she seems to be enjoying it.
We started talking about her ex-boyfriends...her experiences with both, what she didn't like about each...
Not sure how, but we got to a point where she mentioned she watches porn. At that moment I was a little stunned as she's the first girl to tell me that, and lol even voiced that out to her. She said most girls probably watch porn, but she's okay with admitting it. Not sure if I did it right, but I thought this was a good chance to get in deeper on what she likes...her sex preferences. Managed to get some details...she prefers jap than caucasians...saying jap porn is more realistic. I exchanged my own views...asked what sites she visited...When I probed a bit deeper, asking her what kind of sex she likes, she cut it if off. I chuckled saying she's isn't very comfortable with it, and maintained my eye contact with her.
I waited a moment to see if she will continue, she did not, so I decided to change the frame and managed to keep the chat going again.
The next opportunity I tried was when she said she wants to watch National Geo Channel. I just asked her as a matter-of-fact thing that we can watch it upstairs in the hotel rooms. She came off seemingly disgusted and said she can't believe I said that. I tried to maintain my posture though, and switched the frame to something else. Maybe I messed up abit on this??? Maybe I need to brush up on my last minute defense counters???
After a 2 hour dinner / chat I told her we should take a walk. There was a set of very comfortable sofas while on the way out of the hotel, and I nudged her towards them and ended up chatting on the sofa again.
For the next 30 mins we talked about the hotels we visited, how she stayed in rooms with her ex's where the bathrooms are just transparent walls. She mentioned to me she had some kinky moments during those times, but I thought I shouldn't probe further / allow her to go further and pushed the frame over to my hotel preferences / experiences.
So, for that 30 mins at the hotel lobby, I really wanted to say I enjoyed chatting with her and ask her to stay with me for the night. But I was held back by her previous abstinence from my physical advances / asking about her sex preferences...and I just could not get the question to pop out of my mouth.
The shuttle bus came. She got up first...and i followed. Brought her back to her home by public transport, a 30 minute journey. Still managed to keep the chat going.
Walked her to her house, and here I am at home typing this out. Really felt VERY VERY frustrated at myself.
She just msg'ed me good night and some other stuff I haven't read.
To all the gurus / experienced ones here in this forum...please shoot me. Enlighten me where I have gone wrong and what should be my next steps.
I'm willing to take harsh criticism, just please be constructive.
Thanks.....
I am 27 now, had never have a girlfriend, my only sex was paid. Purchased Chase's book and have been studying it for a while. After a HUGE regret at not closing a deal that was really close, and frustration that I didn't stand a chance at getting girls I befriended and wanted, I managed to meetup with a decent looking girl I met online.
I try to keep this story short, I just got home after a frustrating night and typing this now at 1am, hope u don't mind my langauge and all the details.
This girl kind of msg'ed me online, passed me her number and chat with her online, and exchanged Facebook accts as well. From what I saw on her FB, she broke up with her second bf last Dec, and from the holiday photos she posted with her ex's, she probably had sex. So...more experienced than me. We met up after a few days.
1st meetup
I dressed quite decently with chinos, t-shirt and boat shoes. Just made sure i looked decent to avoid my appearance getting in the way, as stated in the book's fundamentals.
She had just finished her zumba class and was in her PT attire when we met in town. That first impression was a little bit of a let down for me, compared to what I saw on Facebook. I got a bit of a chit chat going, asking her how was her zumba class and so forth. I don't consider myself a good conversationalist, so I tried to just keep the talking going whenever silence was about to set in. I kept going until we reached a restaurant and settled down for lunch.
First thing she asked was that she could not believe I was under 30 and asked to confirm if I am not 35+++ and not married. She even asked for my ID card to see my birthday. That was the second WTH moment for me, though I am kind of used to people saying I looked much older. She even asked how I age so fast.
Throughout the lunch, I thought the chat went rather well. Please note I'm a noob at this, as long as we were exchanging talk I thought it was a decent first step.
She mentioned numerous times about not having someone to go with to her holiday. First thing I thought was this girl kind of just wants to have a boyfriend.
Throughout lunch we chat rather well, though there were some silences along the way. Shared mainly on our travels and where she hoped to go. Managed to keep her in with me and not msg'ing on her handphone, unlike previous girls I went out with. And got her spiked up about attending some stand-up comedy shows with me the following week.
We left the restaurant after an hour, went to another cafe to keep the location fresh, and settled down for another 1.5 hrs of talk.
I know I should be moving fast, but by 3pm I was running out of stuff to talk to her about, and the moments of silences was kind of adding up. We left eventually, I didn't had the urge to bring her elsewhere and at that moment I decided maybe I should move on to another girl.
I learned from a previous date mistake that I should at least bring a girl home after the first date, but I just didn't feel like sending her back by cab and pay for it. So I just waited with her at the bus stop for 18 mins I think? Managed to keep some talk going before her bus arrived. Parted ways by touching her arms saying goodbye. (some physical escalation?)
Went home feeling abit disappointed, but thought it was good practice. I was kind of surprised she msg'ed me the next day, saying she checked out the comedy shows I told her about and was excited to catch one.
2nd meetup
Brought her to a French restaurant, and we totally enjoyed the food. Again, tried to converse like Chase wrote in the book...adjusting frames...tried taking the conversation on the emotional level...tried deep diving further on her dreams and wants.
Still some moments of silence here and there, but nothing too bad. After dinner we started walking to catch the comedy show. I tried walking with her side-by-side, so I can have some chances of maybe brushing against her hands...some physical contact.
But she kept asking me to lead the way, and I ended up walking in front of her at some moments. When the chance came, I just positioned myself beside her when we walked and started talking again.
At the show, we managed to get a sofa seat and so I made sure I sat close to her. Again...she kind of avoid the physical contact? I had her sitting in a corner to kind of box her in as mentioned in Chase's book. Made things comfortable for her.
End of the night, she enjoyed the show. It was a Wed night, and after the show I tried bringing her somewhere else, but she insisted she wanted to get home for work the next day. Maybe I did not persist enough? On the cab, I think I made the mistake of talking about my own dreams and perspective instead of hers. Wanted to drop her off at her home straight, but she insisted dropping off at a street quite some distance from her house.
End of night.
3rd meetup
3rd meetup was 2 weeks later. Again I didn't follow up immediately from the response I got on our 2nd meetup. LOL maybe I was expecting too much of myself. Still, she msg me regularly sharing funny posts and photos, and we chat on some days for a while. I decided to give it another shot and arranged to meetup with her again.
I was determined to close this time. I arranged to eat at a restaurant at a hotel. Reviewed my notes I wrote after our two previous meetups, re-read Chase's book again on physical escalation and conversation...getting the logistics in place. Went to the meetup location 1 hour early to check on traffic and taxi queues. LOL even checked out the nearest alternative hotels and nearest 24hr clinic to get ECP pills.
So...we met up around 7pm. Keeping the physical escalation in mind, I tried grabbing her hand to cross a busy road.
"Give me your hand," I said.
"Nah it's okay, you can stand over there," she said. Brushed me off instantly. Still I lead her when crossing the road, having my hand at her back.
We chat, alittle cold at first but we warmed up quickly. Plus the food was good and she seems to be enjoying it.
We started talking about her ex-boyfriends...her experiences with both, what she didn't like about each...
Not sure how, but we got to a point where she mentioned she watches porn. At that moment I was a little stunned as she's the first girl to tell me that, and lol even voiced that out to her. She said most girls probably watch porn, but she's okay with admitting it. Not sure if I did it right, but I thought this was a good chance to get in deeper on what she likes...her sex preferences. Managed to get some details...she prefers jap than caucasians...saying jap porn is more realistic. I exchanged my own views...asked what sites she visited...When I probed a bit deeper, asking her what kind of sex she likes, she cut it if off. I chuckled saying she's isn't very comfortable with it, and maintained my eye contact with her.
I waited a moment to see if she will continue, she did not, so I decided to change the frame and managed to keep the chat going again.
The next opportunity I tried was when she said she wants to watch National Geo Channel. I just asked her as a matter-of-fact thing that we can watch it upstairs in the hotel rooms. She came off seemingly disgusted and said she can't believe I said that. I tried to maintain my posture though, and switched the frame to something else. Maybe I messed up abit on this??? Maybe I need to brush up on my last minute defense counters???
After a 2 hour dinner / chat I told her we should take a walk. There was a set of very comfortable sofas while on the way out of the hotel, and I nudged her towards them and ended up chatting on the sofa again.
For the next 30 mins we talked about the hotels we visited, how she stayed in rooms with her ex's where the bathrooms are just transparent walls. She mentioned to me she had some kinky moments during those times, but I thought I shouldn't probe further / allow her to go further and pushed the frame over to my hotel preferences / experiences.
So, for that 30 mins at the hotel lobby, I really wanted to say I enjoyed chatting with her and ask her to stay with me for the night. But I was held back by her previous abstinence from my physical advances / asking about her sex preferences...and I just could not get the question to pop out of my mouth.
The shuttle bus came. She got up first...and i followed. Brought her back to her home by public transport, a 30 minute journey. Still managed to keep the chat going.
Walked her to her house, and here I am at home typing this out. Really felt VERY VERY frustrated at myself.
She just msg'ed me good night and some other stuff I haven't read.
To all the gurus / experienced ones here in this forum...please shoot me. Enlighten me where I have gone wrong and what should be my next steps.
I'm willing to take harsh criticism, just please be constructive.
Thanks.....
i mean that's what you want.