FU+: Aussie-Israeli Girl or How to Snatch Defeat from the Jaws of Victory
This is my first field report and it’s from awhile back but I wanted to get it down to start making a habit of writing. I chose this as a jump-off because I’ve seen some of the same obstacles pop-up after and hopefully it’ll help someone else. I’m new to the forums (and pickup) and my goal right now is centered around creating abundance. I always learn more from mistakes so most of what I post will probably be based around things I’m having trouble with, (I’ll throw some LR’s in too). I’m definitely excited about starting on this journey.
This is the longest report I will ever write but we all have to start somewhere!
With a month left before the semester was ending, I walk into my 9 a.m. art class to see a petite brunette sitting at the table where I usually set up. We make small talk and I find out she’s a new addition for the rest of the term and I can’t help but notice she’s got a stand out personality and a very cute face. Real quick, I live in a city where hipster style is still in full swing so a lot of girls walk around dressed like cool hobos by day then change into their glam stuff at night. It makes it hard to gauge what’s in front of you sometimes. It’s like the opposite of bars and clubs where the next morning you wake up and that 8 turns into a 5; here it can throw you off when you think you’re just grabbing coffee with a cute girl and then she shows up and you find out she’s a part-time model and a solid 9 (another F.R. I’m working on).
And this girl was definitely hipster, we’ll call her Aussie-Israeli or A.I. for short.
So back to the story; at this point I’m not thinking too much about A.I. because I was more interested in another HB from the same class that had been texting me. We had made plans to go out but she had second thoughts about cheating on her boyfriend at the last minute (found out she was religious) and it had cooled. When A.I. showed up I was hoping the pre-selection from her would warm the other HB up and start a bidding war at worst(getting them both at best). So A.I. and I are talking to each other and some of the people working close to us, when out of nowhere she raises her voice and announces some fact about her boyfriend completely unprovoked. At the time I remember mentally saying, “Shit” because that’s usually a sign of disinterest AND she said it loud enough for the other girl to hear. I didn’t respond in any way and the class ended uneventfully.
The proceeding classes were much the same. A.I. and I would chat sometimes while working(I got her number at some point too), she’s about 5’2” and 95 lbs. and has some of the “small person” braggadocio that I find amusing, but I never pushed anything. I texted her once and got a cold reception so I focused more on the other girls I was dating at the time and moved on.
The morning of the second to last class I decided to set-up in a spot across the room from where I normally do. Halfway through our class I look up from what I am working on and A.I. is staring right at me with a very seductive look spread across her face. We locked eyes and neither of us blinked or moved for a solid minute or more. Finally, she breaks eye contact and looks down as I smile and thank Chase Amante silently. I left class early that day and forgot about it until 48 hours later…
The Last Day
Our last class wasn’t a work day we were just showing off our best pieces. I get there early and sit down in my usual spot, drinking coffee and trying to wake up. In walks A.I., dressed up for the first time, right in front of me. She’s wearing a skin-tight tube top showing her mid-riff and the tiniest linen shorts with some sexy platforms. I notice for the first time that her legs are perfect, she’s got a flat stomach, small tits and flawless skin. Kinda hard to notice that in the oversized tees and leggings she normally wears. So she spins around and says to no one at all that she hates sitting on the right side of the room so she might as well set up next to me.
I know it is on.
I remain unfazed and just sit there waiting for my time to escalate. She starts to unpack the pieces she’s showing when she realizes one is missing. She asks our professor if there is time to go and get it. He says yes, if she can be back within an hour.
I see my opportunity and pounce.
I turn to her and say,” I’m done with all my pieces and I feel like getting out of here, lets go.” She immediately accepts and we leave class together and head off campus. On the way to the car, I’m flirting and teasing her a bit as we talk. I’m about a foot taller than her so that comes up somehow. I can tell she takes my teasing about her height a little personally and spits out that her boyfriend is 6’6”. I ignore it and redirect the conversation.
She says she left the piece at her parent’s house and tells me where that is. Quick aside about me: I’ve been lucky enough to own a business and my lifestyle does not resemble a typical college student. I could tell she was kinda proud of her parents address and I actually live 5 minutes away from them. I’m not too flashy so you can be around me for a long time and not really know that side. However I do own a nice car so it’s not a complete secret. So we drove to her parents, picked up the painting and had twenty minutes to spare. She mentions that we could go by her friends house nearby and smoke a bowl before going back and I tell her okay but I need to let my dog out real quick. We drive to my place and I hear the inevitable, “what do you do?” line of questioning begin as she takes in the scenery around my neighborhood. I give some vague but acceptable answers and we get to my front door.
My condo was looking great at the time and we got a chance to chill out and smoke a cigarette and a bowl together. I might sound like a chump for saying this but I was falling for her(rarely happens to me) and it threw me off. I wanted to throw her down right there and fuck her (I probably could have) but something stopped me. I just pussed out I think, but from the vibe I got off her I felt like I would get another chance soon. She kinda invited herself over later that day and then took it back immediately when I didn’t jump at accepting it instantly. We left my place and headed back to finish up class. After that we met back up at my car and as we are saying our goodbyes she mentioned that we should hang out soon. I said ok I’d give her a call and set it up.
That’s when it got away from me…..
I sent her the standard friendly logistics texts and got subtle resistance every time. She became very hard to pin down and wouldn’t let me lead any interaction but always seemed excited at the idea of meeting up again. I would invite her to a park and she would counter by inviting me swimming. I would invite her over to hang out at my place and she would be working or have plans. Finally, we agreed to meet for breakfast before class one Tuesday morning (the breakfast date-a new low for me btw).
We ate and had a great time. The connection was there again and I could sense she was nervous to be around me in that good way. Everything was going as well as could be expected for before 11am. My only critique is I didn’t really sexualize the convo enough. Definitely something I need to work in on a more consistent basis. So mid-meal I’m really feeling good about where this was going so I asked her what she was doing that weekend. The weekend was the earliest I was available because I was leaving on a business trip right after my class for a few days, otherwise I would have jumped on her that day. She says she had no plans and I invited her to go see a band on Sunday night. She looks straight up into the air quickly and doesn’t respond.
At all.
I don’t let this setback phase me and keep my cool which saved it from getting weird. We finish the rest of our meal and despite that little awkwardness the energy stays uninterrupted. I give her a ride to her next class which was a couple of blocks away. When I drop her off I say, “So I’ll see you Sunday?” I think she might have said, “we’ll see,” or something similar but I don’t recall exactly. I do know I left there feeling more confused than when I arrived. I could tell she liked me but it felt like I was hitting a sticking point somewhere.
So I cut contact thinking I’d probably hear from her. Sunday rolled around and by this point I was thinking she must be playing some pretty intense hard-to-get with me. I texted her something random letting her know I was back in town (weak sauce I know) and she texted back random shit that didn’t help my cause one bit. She didn’t mention the show or seeing me again so at that point I realized I had missed my escalation window and better to move on.
I deleted her number.
And it stayed deleted until I got a text from her 3 weeks later that read, “Just woke up from a dream about you” – 3:07 a.m.
When I got up the next morning and read that I couldn’t help but feel a little excitement. I waited until lunch and responded, “I know what we were doing
,” assuming this would lead to us making plans to fuck ASAP.
I don’t think she responded at all to that message. If she did I don’t remember what she said but it led nowhere and a pattern soon emerged. She would text me, mostly last minute, to invite me somewhere. I wouldn’t go (why would I?) but instead would offer another time to meet up and she would barely respond. And it continued like this for months. It got to the point where she would just send me one word invitations, at random times of the day and night, after not hearing from her for weeks (example: downtown? Art exhibit?).
My responses got shorter and more delayed and I wouldn’t put in much effort before I would stop responding and then delete her number. Rinse, Repeat, Rinse, Repeat
Four months later she’s texting me while I’m on vacation and says she wants to meet up when I get back. At this point I start getting a text a week from her so I decide to give her a “final” chance. We agree to meet Friday. I send a text the day of to check-in with her and she says yes it’s on but she’s “running a little late, how about 7?” I say ok and then get the following message: “Great! I have plans at 9pm so this works blah, blah, blah, blah, blah”
I was livid. But bullshit like this was her calling card so I shouldn’t have been surprised. I knew if I immediately canceled or acted butthurt in any way that it would make a bad situation worse. At that point I didn’t even want to go but I was hungry, I was going downtown anyway and I wanted to personally put an end to this chapter. So I responded with this text, “Cool, since we both have plans after lets meet at the restaurant so we can leave from there” knowing I could bail within 10 minutes if I wanted to. I could tell something about this bothered her but she agreed.
I get to the restaurant and she shows up soon after looking fantastic. It was a packed Friday night and I know there were other women there(I was talking to a group right before she arrived) but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. They sat us at a community table and I caught another guy on a date across from me staring at her at least 5 times that night. When we first got seated I commented that it had been a long time since I had seen her, I kinda forgot what she looked like and that I didn’t think we were going to get together. She immediately twisted that into,”Are you saying I’m forgettable, do I have a forgettable face?” To which I replied,” If you didn’t look the way you do, you wouldn’t be sitting in that seat right now.” A sly smile stretched across her face. “At least you’re honest.”
So we go on to have the best time we had ever spent together. She’s qualifying herself to me frequently, is very talkative and complimentary. She also says that she was upset when I texted that I wasn’t picking her up and that she considered “demanding” it, then thought twice(the balls on her!) All in all, one of the better dinner dates I’ve been on. Midway through our meal, she mentions under her breath that the “plans” she has later are just hanging out with her bff and she doesn’t even want to go.
Now on any other occasion I would have taken that opportunity to invite her back to my place later but honestly I wanted to make her squirm a bit. I know it sounds cruel but I felt like punishing her a little and since SHE picked Friday AND acted like after-dinner activities were off the table from the start with those B.S. 9pm plans(Not to mention all the other flakiness she had thrown my way) I wasn’t going to back down and change what I had going on after for her(friends, fun, possible other girls on a Friday night). I felt like it would reinforce her bad habits(I blame the guys she’s dated in the past…..and daddy). Why reward her with the D for acting like that?
I sat back and thought about where I was with this girl and our history up to that point. I was ready to walk out within 10 minutes when I had arrived and now it felt like this chick’s potential was ridiculously high. We really got each other and I was certain I had hit the hook point with her. So I gambled and left the restaurant without setting up any future plans. During dinner she had mentioned that she was leaving the following week for a month long vacation which meant I had 4 days or less to get this done but I wasn’t worried. All I needed was to get her back to my place. A place she was already familiar with.
The Last Hoorah
I kind of regretted my decision immediately but I shrugged it off to not let the emotion of the moment cloud my objective. I knew when we had sex that it was going to be great. You just know sometimes when it’s going to be that way, it’s primal. If I am being honest, I also knew that she could very easily end up as my girlfriend. We clicked and wanted a lot of the same things out of life. All of a sudden the other girls I was seeing didn’t seem so interesting.
My best guess was that I would hear from her within a few days. I knew that having her initiate the next meet up was vital to keeping her in chase mode and to knocking down any mental resistance to sex she might still have. So I went about a normal weekend distracting myself. I was with some friends in a city close-by when I get a text from her inviting me to her friends b-day party.
It was Saturday night.
Good and bad emotions swept over me. Every fiber of my body knew I shouldn’t go. I know bar or party dates never work out. I’ve been there. I knew it was too soon with her friends and that there would be pitfalls I couldn’t see. I knew I shouldn’t make myself available to her so easily. Plus, it was her venue. I was trying to gain control of home field not be on the road the entire playoffs. But rationalization and overconfidence got the better of me. I felt like I could overcome all this.
You see in my mind I couldn’t guarantee I’d ever see this girl again, she had pulled dissaperaing acts before. She was also leaving for a month so I really couldn’t bank on another opportunity unless I initiated it(even that was dicey and I was done doing that). Then I thought of how much she was into it the night before. She’s got a ton of options and the fact that she wanted to see me on a Friday and Saturday I took to be a very strong sign of where her emotions were.
So I decided to go.
Seppuku
We agreed to meet at her place to pre-game a bit and then head to the party. We left close to midnight and I immediately didn’t like it. Two of A.I.’s roommates came with us and we had another group of girls following in a separate car. We drive up and I park down the street. In what felt like the blink of an eye the view of A.I. that I’ll be looking at for the next hour comes into focus.
It’s the back of her head from 30 yards away.
The party is kicking and we can hear it way before we get out of the car. Before I can even turn off the ignition she bolts out of the passenger seat and heads for the party. I want to leave. I’m 60/40 about just driving off right there but I’m still hoping we can just say hello then leave together to my place. She gets to the front door and realizes she left me behind and waits around. Then there’s a quick round of hellos and introductions to the people she knows and she’s gone. We talk here and there for the next hour but I can’t seem to get her alone or in a place where I could manhandle kiss her and change up where this night was headed.
I got restless and started flirting with a Lebanese dancer girl to pass the time. I know A.I. saw this and then began flirting with another guy right in front of me. I stayed non-reactive. We left soon after and headed back to her place to drop everyone off and to hopefully fuck for the first time. On the way over she holds my hand and looks happy.
I’m feeling skeptical so I decide to put her on the clock. At this point it’s after 1 a.m. so with the bars and clubs letting out soon and the after-parties starting I felt if we weren’t taking our clothes off to some degree by then I was gone. Back at her place all the roommates and all their friends are getting home for the night and talking. A.I. suggests smoking some weed and now instead of just her and I, two other girls join us in her bedroom. I did very little talking, just laying on the bed on my phone setting things up for after I left the house and deleting A.I’s contact info.
With 5 minutes to go until 2 a.m.(and in the middle of one of her roommates boring stories) I stood up and said that I was taking off. A.I. walked me out and I couldn’t tell(aka didn’t care) if she was confused or relieved that I was going. I went on to have a good night somewhere else and let it go.
I never expected to hear from her again and even though I was slightly disappointed I was ok with it. I was on a business trip 5 weeks later and couldn’t believe when she texted letting me know she had an amazing trip and had just got back into town. At the time I was confused by this because after our last meetup I didn’t expect any friendliness and the sub-text of her message implied that she texted me as soon as she got back from her trip or that she wanted me to believe that she did.
So I stuck my neck out and said we should meetup when I get back into town to which she agreed. Two weeks later I text her at lunchtime on a Sunday asking if she wants to get together that night. At 6:30p she texts back that she just woke up, has plans with the bff at 9p but what did I want to do?
I was done at this point. I sent her a text a few hours later brushing her off and I’ve never heard back.
Outcome: Large Fail
Analysis:
I think this girl had solid attraction for me but by not escalating and having sex with her at my place on that first day slotted me into possible boyfriend potential(nice car and place added to bf zone). It also sent signals to her that she could call the shots which I think she was used to. Timing also didn’t help. I was out of town a lot so I just couldn’t be there to see her and keep things moving.
Did I overreact sometimes and let frustration get to me? Oh yeah, but what always felt weird about this one was how much she seemed to like me versus how hard she made it for us to get together. It seemed like she was confused as to how to act towards me and went into default man-eater mode but I think it was insecurity too. She always seemed to try to impress me which I indirectly encouraged by complementing that I liked how adventurous she was. She took that frame and ran with it.
Ultimately, dating is a man’s game so I’m taking responsibility for the loss on this one. Her mix of major signs of interest combined with MAJOR hoops was a first for me. I’m sure orbirters get this treatment but after I deleted her number the first time I NEVER initiated contact with her and even stood her up once.
That’s where you guys come in! Thanks for the time reading this thing.
Rocco
This is my first field report and it’s from awhile back but I wanted to get it down to start making a habit of writing. I chose this as a jump-off because I’ve seen some of the same obstacles pop-up after and hopefully it’ll help someone else. I’m new to the forums (and pickup) and my goal right now is centered around creating abundance. I always learn more from mistakes so most of what I post will probably be based around things I’m having trouble with, (I’ll throw some LR’s in too). I’m definitely excited about starting on this journey.
This is the longest report I will ever write but we all have to start somewhere!
With a month left before the semester was ending, I walk into my 9 a.m. art class to see a petite brunette sitting at the table where I usually set up. We make small talk and I find out she’s a new addition for the rest of the term and I can’t help but notice she’s got a stand out personality and a very cute face. Real quick, I live in a city where hipster style is still in full swing so a lot of girls walk around dressed like cool hobos by day then change into their glam stuff at night. It makes it hard to gauge what’s in front of you sometimes. It’s like the opposite of bars and clubs where the next morning you wake up and that 8 turns into a 5; here it can throw you off when you think you’re just grabbing coffee with a cute girl and then she shows up and you find out she’s a part-time model and a solid 9 (another F.R. I’m working on).
And this girl was definitely hipster, we’ll call her Aussie-Israeli or A.I. for short.
So back to the story; at this point I’m not thinking too much about A.I. because I was more interested in another HB from the same class that had been texting me. We had made plans to go out but she had second thoughts about cheating on her boyfriend at the last minute (found out she was religious) and it had cooled. When A.I. showed up I was hoping the pre-selection from her would warm the other HB up and start a bidding war at worst(getting them both at best). So A.I. and I are talking to each other and some of the people working close to us, when out of nowhere she raises her voice and announces some fact about her boyfriend completely unprovoked. At the time I remember mentally saying, “Shit” because that’s usually a sign of disinterest AND she said it loud enough for the other girl to hear. I didn’t respond in any way and the class ended uneventfully.
The proceeding classes were much the same. A.I. and I would chat sometimes while working(I got her number at some point too), she’s about 5’2” and 95 lbs. and has some of the “small person” braggadocio that I find amusing, but I never pushed anything. I texted her once and got a cold reception so I focused more on the other girls I was dating at the time and moved on.
The morning of the second to last class I decided to set-up in a spot across the room from where I normally do. Halfway through our class I look up from what I am working on and A.I. is staring right at me with a very seductive look spread across her face. We locked eyes and neither of us blinked or moved for a solid minute or more. Finally, she breaks eye contact and looks down as I smile and thank Chase Amante silently. I left class early that day and forgot about it until 48 hours later…
The Last Day
Our last class wasn’t a work day we were just showing off our best pieces. I get there early and sit down in my usual spot, drinking coffee and trying to wake up. In walks A.I., dressed up for the first time, right in front of me. She’s wearing a skin-tight tube top showing her mid-riff and the tiniest linen shorts with some sexy platforms. I notice for the first time that her legs are perfect, she’s got a flat stomach, small tits and flawless skin. Kinda hard to notice that in the oversized tees and leggings she normally wears. So she spins around and says to no one at all that she hates sitting on the right side of the room so she might as well set up next to me.
I know it is on.
I remain unfazed and just sit there waiting for my time to escalate. She starts to unpack the pieces she’s showing when she realizes one is missing. She asks our professor if there is time to go and get it. He says yes, if she can be back within an hour.
I see my opportunity and pounce.
I turn to her and say,” I’m done with all my pieces and I feel like getting out of here, lets go.” She immediately accepts and we leave class together and head off campus. On the way to the car, I’m flirting and teasing her a bit as we talk. I’m about a foot taller than her so that comes up somehow. I can tell she takes my teasing about her height a little personally and spits out that her boyfriend is 6’6”. I ignore it and redirect the conversation.
She says she left the piece at her parent’s house and tells me where that is. Quick aside about me: I’ve been lucky enough to own a business and my lifestyle does not resemble a typical college student. I could tell she was kinda proud of her parents address and I actually live 5 minutes away from them. I’m not too flashy so you can be around me for a long time and not really know that side. However I do own a nice car so it’s not a complete secret. So we drove to her parents, picked up the painting and had twenty minutes to spare. She mentions that we could go by her friends house nearby and smoke a bowl before going back and I tell her okay but I need to let my dog out real quick. We drive to my place and I hear the inevitable, “what do you do?” line of questioning begin as she takes in the scenery around my neighborhood. I give some vague but acceptable answers and we get to my front door.
My condo was looking great at the time and we got a chance to chill out and smoke a cigarette and a bowl together. I might sound like a chump for saying this but I was falling for her(rarely happens to me) and it threw me off. I wanted to throw her down right there and fuck her (I probably could have) but something stopped me. I just pussed out I think, but from the vibe I got off her I felt like I would get another chance soon. She kinda invited herself over later that day and then took it back immediately when I didn’t jump at accepting it instantly. We left my place and headed back to finish up class. After that we met back up at my car and as we are saying our goodbyes she mentioned that we should hang out soon. I said ok I’d give her a call and set it up.
That’s when it got away from me…..
I sent her the standard friendly logistics texts and got subtle resistance every time. She became very hard to pin down and wouldn’t let me lead any interaction but always seemed excited at the idea of meeting up again. I would invite her to a park and she would counter by inviting me swimming. I would invite her over to hang out at my place and she would be working or have plans. Finally, we agreed to meet for breakfast before class one Tuesday morning (the breakfast date-a new low for me btw).
We ate and had a great time. The connection was there again and I could sense she was nervous to be around me in that good way. Everything was going as well as could be expected for before 11am. My only critique is I didn’t really sexualize the convo enough. Definitely something I need to work in on a more consistent basis. So mid-meal I’m really feeling good about where this was going so I asked her what she was doing that weekend. The weekend was the earliest I was available because I was leaving on a business trip right after my class for a few days, otherwise I would have jumped on her that day. She says she had no plans and I invited her to go see a band on Sunday night. She looks straight up into the air quickly and doesn’t respond.
At all.
I don’t let this setback phase me and keep my cool which saved it from getting weird. We finish the rest of our meal and despite that little awkwardness the energy stays uninterrupted. I give her a ride to her next class which was a couple of blocks away. When I drop her off I say, “So I’ll see you Sunday?” I think she might have said, “we’ll see,” or something similar but I don’t recall exactly. I do know I left there feeling more confused than when I arrived. I could tell she liked me but it felt like I was hitting a sticking point somewhere.
So I cut contact thinking I’d probably hear from her. Sunday rolled around and by this point I was thinking she must be playing some pretty intense hard-to-get with me. I texted her something random letting her know I was back in town (weak sauce I know) and she texted back random shit that didn’t help my cause one bit. She didn’t mention the show or seeing me again so at that point I realized I had missed my escalation window and better to move on.
I deleted her number.
And it stayed deleted until I got a text from her 3 weeks later that read, “Just woke up from a dream about you” – 3:07 a.m.
When I got up the next morning and read that I couldn’t help but feel a little excitement. I waited until lunch and responded, “I know what we were doing
,” assuming this would lead to us making plans to fuck ASAP. I don’t think she responded at all to that message. If she did I don’t remember what she said but it led nowhere and a pattern soon emerged. She would text me, mostly last minute, to invite me somewhere. I wouldn’t go (why would I?) but instead would offer another time to meet up and she would barely respond. And it continued like this for months. It got to the point where she would just send me one word invitations, at random times of the day and night, after not hearing from her for weeks (example: downtown? Art exhibit?).
My responses got shorter and more delayed and I wouldn’t put in much effort before I would stop responding and then delete her number. Rinse, Repeat, Rinse, Repeat
Four months later she’s texting me while I’m on vacation and says she wants to meet up when I get back. At this point I start getting a text a week from her so I decide to give her a “final” chance. We agree to meet Friday. I send a text the day of to check-in with her and she says yes it’s on but she’s “running a little late, how about 7?” I say ok and then get the following message: “Great! I have plans at 9pm so this works blah, blah, blah, blah, blah”
I was livid. But bullshit like this was her calling card so I shouldn’t have been surprised. I knew if I immediately canceled or acted butthurt in any way that it would make a bad situation worse. At that point I didn’t even want to go but I was hungry, I was going downtown anyway and I wanted to personally put an end to this chapter. So I responded with this text, “Cool, since we both have plans after lets meet at the restaurant so we can leave from there” knowing I could bail within 10 minutes if I wanted to. I could tell something about this bothered her but she agreed.
I get to the restaurant and she shows up soon after looking fantastic. It was a packed Friday night and I know there were other women there(I was talking to a group right before she arrived) but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. They sat us at a community table and I caught another guy on a date across from me staring at her at least 5 times that night. When we first got seated I commented that it had been a long time since I had seen her, I kinda forgot what she looked like and that I didn’t think we were going to get together. She immediately twisted that into,”Are you saying I’m forgettable, do I have a forgettable face?” To which I replied,” If you didn’t look the way you do, you wouldn’t be sitting in that seat right now.” A sly smile stretched across her face. “At least you’re honest.”
So we go on to have the best time we had ever spent together. She’s qualifying herself to me frequently, is very talkative and complimentary. She also says that she was upset when I texted that I wasn’t picking her up and that she considered “demanding” it, then thought twice(the balls on her!) All in all, one of the better dinner dates I’ve been on. Midway through our meal, she mentions under her breath that the “plans” she has later are just hanging out with her bff and she doesn’t even want to go.
Now on any other occasion I would have taken that opportunity to invite her back to my place later but honestly I wanted to make her squirm a bit. I know it sounds cruel but I felt like punishing her a little and since SHE picked Friday AND acted like after-dinner activities were off the table from the start with those B.S. 9pm plans(Not to mention all the other flakiness she had thrown my way) I wasn’t going to back down and change what I had going on after for her(friends, fun, possible other girls on a Friday night). I felt like it would reinforce her bad habits(I blame the guys she’s dated in the past…..and daddy). Why reward her with the D for acting like that?
I sat back and thought about where I was with this girl and our history up to that point. I was ready to walk out within 10 minutes when I had arrived and now it felt like this chick’s potential was ridiculously high. We really got each other and I was certain I had hit the hook point with her. So I gambled and left the restaurant without setting up any future plans. During dinner she had mentioned that she was leaving the following week for a month long vacation which meant I had 4 days or less to get this done but I wasn’t worried. All I needed was to get her back to my place. A place she was already familiar with.
The Last Hoorah
I kind of regretted my decision immediately but I shrugged it off to not let the emotion of the moment cloud my objective. I knew when we had sex that it was going to be great. You just know sometimes when it’s going to be that way, it’s primal. If I am being honest, I also knew that she could very easily end up as my girlfriend. We clicked and wanted a lot of the same things out of life. All of a sudden the other girls I was seeing didn’t seem so interesting.
My best guess was that I would hear from her within a few days. I knew that having her initiate the next meet up was vital to keeping her in chase mode and to knocking down any mental resistance to sex she might still have. So I went about a normal weekend distracting myself. I was with some friends in a city close-by when I get a text from her inviting me to her friends b-day party.
It was Saturday night.
Good and bad emotions swept over me. Every fiber of my body knew I shouldn’t go. I know bar or party dates never work out. I’ve been there. I knew it was too soon with her friends and that there would be pitfalls I couldn’t see. I knew I shouldn’t make myself available to her so easily. Plus, it was her venue. I was trying to gain control of home field not be on the road the entire playoffs. But rationalization and overconfidence got the better of me. I felt like I could overcome all this.
You see in my mind I couldn’t guarantee I’d ever see this girl again, she had pulled dissaperaing acts before. She was also leaving for a month so I really couldn’t bank on another opportunity unless I initiated it(even that was dicey and I was done doing that). Then I thought of how much she was into it the night before. She’s got a ton of options and the fact that she wanted to see me on a Friday and Saturday I took to be a very strong sign of where her emotions were.
So I decided to go.
Seppuku
We agreed to meet at her place to pre-game a bit and then head to the party. We left close to midnight and I immediately didn’t like it. Two of A.I.’s roommates came with us and we had another group of girls following in a separate car. We drive up and I park down the street. In what felt like the blink of an eye the view of A.I. that I’ll be looking at for the next hour comes into focus.
It’s the back of her head from 30 yards away.
The party is kicking and we can hear it way before we get out of the car. Before I can even turn off the ignition she bolts out of the passenger seat and heads for the party. I want to leave. I’m 60/40 about just driving off right there but I’m still hoping we can just say hello then leave together to my place. She gets to the front door and realizes she left me behind and waits around. Then there’s a quick round of hellos and introductions to the people she knows and she’s gone. We talk here and there for the next hour but I can’t seem to get her alone or in a place where I could manhandle kiss her and change up where this night was headed.
I got restless and started flirting with a Lebanese dancer girl to pass the time. I know A.I. saw this and then began flirting with another guy right in front of me. I stayed non-reactive. We left soon after and headed back to her place to drop everyone off and to hopefully fuck for the first time. On the way over she holds my hand and looks happy.
I’m feeling skeptical so I decide to put her on the clock. At this point it’s after 1 a.m. so with the bars and clubs letting out soon and the after-parties starting I felt if we weren’t taking our clothes off to some degree by then I was gone. Back at her place all the roommates and all their friends are getting home for the night and talking. A.I. suggests smoking some weed and now instead of just her and I, two other girls join us in her bedroom. I did very little talking, just laying on the bed on my phone setting things up for after I left the house and deleting A.I’s contact info.
With 5 minutes to go until 2 a.m.(and in the middle of one of her roommates boring stories) I stood up and said that I was taking off. A.I. walked me out and I couldn’t tell(aka didn’t care) if she was confused or relieved that I was going. I went on to have a good night somewhere else and let it go.
I never expected to hear from her again and even though I was slightly disappointed I was ok with it. I was on a business trip 5 weeks later and couldn’t believe when she texted letting me know she had an amazing trip and had just got back into town. At the time I was confused by this because after our last meetup I didn’t expect any friendliness and the sub-text of her message implied that she texted me as soon as she got back from her trip or that she wanted me to believe that she did.
So I stuck my neck out and said we should meetup when I get back into town to which she agreed. Two weeks later I text her at lunchtime on a Sunday asking if she wants to get together that night. At 6:30p she texts back that she just woke up, has plans with the bff at 9p but what did I want to do?
I was done at this point. I sent her a text a few hours later brushing her off and I’ve never heard back.
Outcome: Large Fail
Analysis:
I think this girl had solid attraction for me but by not escalating and having sex with her at my place on that first day slotted me into possible boyfriend potential(nice car and place added to bf zone). It also sent signals to her that she could call the shots which I think she was used to. Timing also didn’t help. I was out of town a lot so I just couldn’t be there to see her and keep things moving.
Did I overreact sometimes and let frustration get to me? Oh yeah, but what always felt weird about this one was how much she seemed to like me versus how hard she made it for us to get together. It seemed like she was confused as to how to act towards me and went into default man-eater mode but I think it was insecurity too. She always seemed to try to impress me which I indirectly encouraged by complementing that I liked how adventurous she was. She took that frame and ran with it.
Ultimately, dating is a man’s game so I’m taking responsibility for the loss on this one. Her mix of major signs of interest combined with MAJOR hoops was a first for me. I’m sure orbirters get this treatment but after I deleted her number the first time I NEVER initiated contact with her and even stood her up once.
That’s where you guys come in! Thanks for the time reading this thing.
Rocco
