- Joined
- Mar 16, 2014
- Messages
- 27
Focusing on one eye while talking to someone is a good thing to practice for people who are working hard on their fundamentals, like myself. It is also good to find a rhythm (which one to look at?) in terms of eye contact.
I remember reading some books on body language that included topics such as standing posture, tone of voice, walk, eye contact, sitting posture etc. and then going out and applying these wonderful techniques. What I found was, for me, there must be a balance between focusing on one eye and finding your way to the other one with out coming off as reactionary or needy (ex. bouncing back and forth from one eye to the other).
*The following is assuming you have practiced eye contact and are adequately socially-collaborated...
When it comes time to break eye contact (usually once the other person breaks it with you, very important) you obviously want to look away horizontally so as not to come off as submissive.
After a horizontal break in eye contact that is when you can either go back to the eye you were looking at or transition to the other one. If you pay close attention to the other persons eye (be careful not to forget to still be listening) you can sometimes tell which eye of yours they are looking at, then simply look at the same one they are, on them.
Once back engaged in eye contact, what I do is (while continuing solid eye contact), start to mirror the other persons tone, posture, basic mannerisms. Once I have mirrored the other persons movements and such for a few minutes, not too long, and believe that I have built some comfort, I slide back into my dominant, leading body language and vibe and sure enough, they will be mirroring me and we all know that that is a wonderful ioi from anyone, especially women.
To sum up...
Don't over focus on one eye, at the same time, don't jump from eye to eye while engaged in eye contact. It comes off as reactionary and needy. Never be the one to break eye contact first. Break it horizontally. Using mirroring in combination with a sexy smile and solid eye contact you can produce or almost summon ioi's from people, definitely women who you've built enough rapport with.
After that, well, that's out of my league to teach or tell people what to do properly. I know what works for me, I'll leave that to the professionals. There are LOTS of articles on this site for leading and escalating.
Have fun with the eye contact, you will become amazed as to how many people actually break eye contact with you first. -dcl
I remember reading some books on body language that included topics such as standing posture, tone of voice, walk, eye contact, sitting posture etc. and then going out and applying these wonderful techniques. What I found was, for me, there must be a balance between focusing on one eye and finding your way to the other one with out coming off as reactionary or needy (ex. bouncing back and forth from one eye to the other).
*The following is assuming you have practiced eye contact and are adequately socially-collaborated...
When it comes time to break eye contact (usually once the other person breaks it with you, very important) you obviously want to look away horizontally so as not to come off as submissive.
After a horizontal break in eye contact that is when you can either go back to the eye you were looking at or transition to the other one. If you pay close attention to the other persons eye (be careful not to forget to still be listening) you can sometimes tell which eye of yours they are looking at, then simply look at the same one they are, on them.
Once back engaged in eye contact, what I do is (while continuing solid eye contact), start to mirror the other persons tone, posture, basic mannerisms. Once I have mirrored the other persons movements and such for a few minutes, not too long, and believe that I have built some comfort, I slide back into my dominant, leading body language and vibe and sure enough, they will be mirroring me and we all know that that is a wonderful ioi from anyone, especially women.
To sum up...
Don't over focus on one eye, at the same time, don't jump from eye to eye while engaged in eye contact. It comes off as reactionary and needy. Never be the one to break eye contact first. Break it horizontally. Using mirroring in combination with a sexy smile and solid eye contact you can produce or almost summon ioi's from people, definitely women who you've built enough rapport with.
After that, well, that's out of my league to teach or tell people what to do properly. I know what works for me, I'll leave that to the professionals. There are LOTS of articles on this site for leading and escalating.
Have fun with the eye contact, you will become amazed as to how many people actually break eye contact with you first. -dcl
