Gaining power control

[Boom_1982]

Hi members, need some help on how should I gain control and feel dominant when I'm sitting with someone in a social setting and we haven't started talking yet. Why do I feel the urge to break ice and start convo? Is it bad if i start convo? I feel like giving away power and make other person feel important in such scenario.

 

[DarkKnight]

This is actually an interesting question. The other day there was a guy who hates my guts, and I am aware so I just ignore him. I talked with others and suddenly he needed to talk to me, which for me did not compute as I would continue ocstracizing had I been him.

But you mention not feeling dominant and not being in control, so the breaking ice is a submissive move? Interesting. I did notice that guy feeling tense and super awkward. Good, I can use this.

By the way I also believe that breaking the ice can be very dominant. Some people shut down because they are feeling shy or timid, you are basically leading them out of that state. So how you come at it is important as well.

To help you by the way. You should work on a stronger core and learn to bear more tension ... as tension is probably what is making you make an involuntary move. Perhaps go through an asshole face in order to learn how to withstand social pressure.

 

[Boom_1982]

Thanks. I didn't realise that breaking ice could be dominant and other party could be shy or timid. I definitely feel the tension in air and that's why I thought breaking ice is giving in to tension.

 

[DarkKnight]

Thank you too. Your response helped me finetune something