General-purpose networking

[Surveyor]

Recently, my comms prof was telling us that her wife (who is also an academic) has thousands of numbers in her phone book and constantly connects people. “Like a real-life LinkedIn”.

How can I emulate this?

 

[HoofHearted]

I've known people like this.

They are almost exclusively women. They have a gift for organization. And, while their approach to socializing with others is also highly organizational, they are nonetheless sincere about it. And the social function, while somewhat business-like in its structure, clearly serves a significant portion of the meaning of their lives.

At the risk of sounding sexist, I don't think the average man can do this. It seems like an, again, organized and intellectual extension of feminine (relational) nature. That is to say, I don't think it would please most men to attempt to do this, and therefore the effort would not be bought into for any significant length of time.

Maybe the male equivalent is the 'guy who just always has to know a guy.' But that's usually about the guy's ego, not relationships.

Good luck with this enterprise.

 

[Surveyor]

Yeah, that level might be impractical.

But there are some guys who are much better connected than others. How are they doing it?

 

[HoofHearted]

I don't understand the question.

If you're wondering how to have people drawn to you, and connected to you, the answer is to give out positive energy and value.

Positive energy and value don't come from thin air. If you could learn how to generate these things from within yourself (hint: it's un-exciting), you would be as a guiding light to moths in the darkness.

What you probably don't want to do is attend a bunch of (or ANY, imo) networking events full of thirsty ass people looking to be or to take. Wrong model.

But the best way to draw or inspire people to you or your vision is to already be in motion. Preferably the kind of motion that generates... positive energy and value within yourself, which you in turn can flow outwards.

Then people will want to know you.

That's my best guess at whatever you might be talking about. Learn your natural state of abundance and generation, and give. Because you know how to create/generate, you never have to be empty.

 

[Gram]

From what I have seen there are a couple of ways to do this...

First, for some people facial recognition and remembering personal details are just a skill, like any professional. I dated a girl once who would see a face in some random city, recognize it, and connect "Are you Bobby's little brother from Hawkins Middle School?" And they would reply, "Yeah, that was 20 years ago, who are you?" It was amazing.

Second, some of the best sales people I know write down the details of an interaction when they meet people. Just a quick dossier on what they discussed, details about the person, etc. And they study it to help aid memory and create a closer connection the next time they meet. This helps retain details that can be shared...Your profs wife may add a note with all those numbers so even if she doesn't remember specifics she can search the topic in her phone.

Finally, it is about giving and being non-selfish, or selfish with a goal of wanting to extract information, share, and connect. Instead of approaching interactions with a personal, self conscious goal in mind, it is about connecting people and ideas. Finding joy is supporting people. Being aware of where connections exist. Awareness is key, but that's a lot of what GC and seduction are about... reading the subject and reacting.

It gets easier once one gets into the flow of information. There is a compounding effect as the network grows. HH is right about the energy one generates. But one has to jump in.

In fact I would argue you already are a real life LinkedIn, except your network is smaller and more self serving. Not a bad thing just how most people operate.