Get a date from an app. She's much fatter than pics. Low motivation to pursue her. Now what?

[sinksink]

This happened once. I thought to myself "shit what exactly is my goal now? I don't want to do anything else b/c I won't get another date today but I've got low motivation to try to sleep w/ her and low motivation to risk getting rejected"

And so what exactly is my goal? To bring her home and lie in bed and talk and maybe do something physical if she initiates it was my gut instinct

Also has led to awkward convos where I'm trying to sound normal but she can tell something is up. But a date seems better than being alone that evening no matter what

Like let's say I just want to lie down and spoon and do nothing but not get rejected. Should I still go about things as if I am motivated to sleep w/ her because it is good for this goal anyway?

Also seems potentially problematic if say you do get in bed w/ her and you're lying there w/ eyes clothes maybe trying to hold her hand but not do anything b/c of lack of motivation

 

[Skjöldr]

If you don't wanna bang her, don't date her. Just tell her "Look, you are very sweet, but you do not look like your photos. I'm just not really feeling this, so i think it is best if we end the date here". Boom you just saved your time.

 

[ulrich]

What @Phoenix said.

I’ll add that I had three dates from apps where the girl was much fatter/uglier than her pictures and I thought I had to stay there out of courtesy... all three of those dates were awful.

It takes a certain kind of woman to lie that way about herself.
She is likely to be self-conscious, inexperienced and resentful. Not someone you want to spend time with.

This kind of things is why I quit dating apps.

 

[Skjöldr]

Yeah the right frame of mind is just that she's disrespectful to you and your time. She's borderline catfishing you. My friend told me about a date he went on like this. He notes she looked more fat than her pictures but when they got back to his place it was clear she was way fatter than her pictures would imply. He texted me and i told him to kick her out. So he told her she looked more overweight than her pictures and she just doubled down like "That's very superficial of you" and "im just the way i am and im happy with myself and my body blah blah". Which is ironic, because if she felt so awesome about herself she would post pictures of herself that looks like her.

 

[Regal Tiger]

I would always spend about 5 minutes and then just skedaddle on outta there. "Well, it was nice meeting you but I'm gonna jet. Hope you have a great day!"

Literally nothing else required.

 

[foggy]

If you're the type...squeeze some practice out of it

Go into it with the goal of practicing at least one tactic ie nonverbal body language. Do it, observe any reaction and then excuse yourself

A new reference point never hurts

 

[PalmaSailor]

Honestly, if you get there and she’s nothing like her pictures, you just need to exit.

I’ve often just walked. Your “goal” if you have one, should be to have enough options that you don’t need to deal with outright deception like this.

I once had a date and the moment I arrived the girl greeted me but said she was “upset” because it was the anniversary of her brothers death. I just thought “WTF is this? I’m just here to cheer her up bc she’s feeling shit”

I just told her if she was feeling down then she should be with her friends and not me, and if she wanted a date we could do it some other time when she was feeling better. I got the bill for the 2 x drinks, wished her well and left.

 

[sinksink]

If you don't wanna bang her, don't date her. Just tell her "Look, you are very sweet, but you do not look like your photos. I'm just not really feeling this, so i think it is best if we end the date here". Boom you just saved your time.

So I mean on a first date -> cannot get a new date that evening on short notice -> may as well spend the evening w/ her, better than being alone that evening. But I am just not sure what might be some easy / relaxing things to do with a fat girl w/ low risk of rejection

I think it may be just watching TV that evening and zoning out w/ her maybes

 

[sinksink]

Everyone's saying just end the date. But to me spending evening spending an evening w/ a fat girl seems better than jerking off alone. Its not like I can get another date on such short notice.

And its happened plenty of times the girl is significantly fatter than her pics so I expect this will continue so may as well make the most of it

I am just trying to think --how to make the most of it, what are the best relaxing things to do w/ a fat girl w/ low risk of rejection on a first date? "lie on a couch and watch videos" come to mind, I think to do it maybe I still need to act as if I'm pursuing her anyway

 

[Regal Tiger]

Upgrade your pictures

My formula has been this:
1) Body shot facing away from the camera. Aim your body about 45 degrees away from the camera and then tilt your upper torso closer to the camera (creates a V shape and emphasizes your chest)
2) Portrait engaging with the camera (pet pictures are a plus in this one)
3) Hobby picture
4)+ 3 are what's required, but anything else you can do other hobbies. If you have a picture with other people you can use it here (but only a single picture with other people and it has to be the last one, preferably with someone who has similar style as you but you look better and someone that's very different than you)

Use a professional camera, no selfies

Remember the context of the picture because people will respond to the picture as if were real. What I mean by that is this: make it natural for you to look away from the camera otherwise it'll look extremely weird and creep people out. For hobby pictures that's easy. For the first one, the full body shot, I like to go on a hike or be out in nature but that's just me. If you can do a hobby picture then go for it but make sure to emphasize your body and it has to be a full body shot.

Another reason you want to look away from the camera is it makes it easier for women to check you out. Because people react to the picture as if it were real then if you're staring someone down it can come off as too confrontational, which is why I only go for a single picture of me looking into the camera (portrait picture).

But if this is happening to you a lot then you definitely need to upgrade your pictures and also learn how to spot some tells of possible fat:

1) Look in areas that aren't easy to hide, like the hands or places where skin kinda clumps together from different body parts (like the neck/shoulders, or around the knees and etc.)
2) If she doesn't have a full body picture then she's fat
3) If her pictures are grainy then she's fat
4) If her pictures are all group pictures then she's the ugly one

 

[PalmaSailor]

Everyone's saying just end the date. But to me spending evening spending an evening w/ a fat girl seems better than jerking off alone. Its not like I can get another date on such short notice.

And its happened plenty of times the girl is significantly fatter than her pics so I expect this will continue so may as well make the most of it

I am just trying to think --how to make the most of it, what are the best relaxing things to do w/ a fat girl w/ low risk of rejection on a first date? "lie on a couch and watch videos" come to mind, I think to do it maybe I still need to act as if I'm pursuing her anyway

Sink sink



Look, I’m reading this over coffee and you’re a young man and you’ve got it all in front of you, you really do. But it’s up to you, how and what you take from life. It really is up to you to go get it. Children are born into terrible poverty in terrible conditions and rise to be warlords or businessmen or whatever.



But no one can do it for you.



You should not be in the position where you are so option less that it’s down to trying to create some desire within yourself for a fat girl, or whack off at home.



Your life should be full of other things. What are you doing for work? How are you improving that? What are you doing for health? Exercise? Lifting? Social? Hobbies? Overall direction? Ambition?



Your life should be full of stuff you’re doing to achieve your goals. Get a direction and some drive and ambition and get in good shape and women will be queuing to be part of that life.



If your life consists of nothing but sitting alone whacking off then ask yourself, what women would want to be part of that? - I’ll tell you, none of them if they had any choice.



Hard I’m afraid, but there’s no substitute for telling you how it is.



It’s not down to luck, it’s down to effort on a much grander scale than trying to attract one girl.

 

[ulrich]

So I mean on a first date -> cannot get a new date that evening on short notice -> may as well spend the evening w/ her, better than being alone that evening.

That’s scarcity mentality right there.

I can tell you right now that you are not going to enjoy it and she is going to notice.
You may get to fuck her if you want... but is that what you really want?

Instead of jacking off you could be doing some daygame or night game.
This is a checkmate that you’re putting yourself into.

Me, I personally prefer to have nothing to do with girls I don’t find attractive.
My time is precious and I can do much more with it than settling down for something I don’t like.

 

[Vision]

Raise your standards bro. Hanging out with a fat girl because you're lonely is a low value behavior.

If you continue to act in low value ways, you'll eventually take on the identity of a low value man. If you're a low value man, you'll end up married to a fat girl and your dick will shrink 2 inches.

She bait and switched you. The high value thing is to walk out of there, approach the next girl you see, and work on getting more abundance with women... and watch your ding dong grow in size.

Thank me later

 

[POB]

1) Ask what type of filters she's used
2) hand over your phone and let her do her magic for your own pics
3) after she's done, say "thanks", get up and leave

 

[trashKENNUT]

This happened once. I thought to myself "shit what exactly is my goal now? I don't want to do anything else b/c I won't get another date today but I've got low motivation to try to sleep w/ her and low motivation to risk getting rejected"

And so what exactly is my goal? To bring her home and lie in bed and talk and maybe do something physical if she initiates it was my gut instinct

Also has led to awkward convos where I'm trying to sound normal but she can tell something is up. But a date seems better than being alone that evening no matter what

Like let's say I just want to lie down and spoon and do nothing but not get rejected. Should I still go about things as if I am motivated to sleep w/ her because it is good for this goal anyway?

Also seems potentially problematic if say you do get in bed w/ her and you're lying there w/ eyes clothes maybe trying to hold her hand but not do anything b/c of lack of motivation

Are u having a value system issue, where your values clash? You have a lot of conflict inside you.

this might help you solve your first issue, which is way before girls. Something that you need to resolve.

z@c+

 

[ulrich]

1) Ask what type of filters she's used
2) hand over your phone and let her do her magic for your own pics
3) after she's done, say "thanks", get up and leave

This reminds me of one time I paid 5 dollars over the internet to have my picture retouched just out of curiosity... I ended up looking like a k-pop star... big eyes, smooth glowy skin, they even removed my mustache shadow... not masculine at all LOL

I have never felt cuter

 

[Skills]

Always expect online the girl to be 1 to 2 points lower

 

[Beck Bass]

Always expect online the girl to be 1 to 2 points lower

It's a good rule, though I got lucky with the girl in going out with, she looked super average on her photos, but in person she's a real hottie. If a girl looks like she's trying to hard to impress, chances are she's way worse than she looks