FR++ get labeled boyfriend material

[kalyan]

It's funny: i noticed that me and her both wanted the same thing- to ultimately have a long term thing- but she didn't bend to my frame/ way of doing things.. So maybe we both won't get what we want.
Meet:
I met her at a cozy party where many people know each other- I didn't know her, evidently. It was sort of love at first sight, and the more time i spent with her, the more i was impressed by her intrinsic qualities. I had lots of preselection working for me. I was very smooth on the day, i moved her for a little walk, asked her if she's single, talked about kissing her at one point... Then i dropped her and continued my night. Spent around 30-40 minutes with her total
Date:
I texted an ice breaker at night, then asked her out 2 days after that (yesterday). We set the date for today.
I picked her up and we went to a cozy resaurant for wine. She was very sold on me. Too easy. Some incidental touching, even some obvious face touching (which she thought was soothing). Some holding hands, but i cut that short, it feels too boyfriend-y... I was starting to feel that she liked me a bit too much for our good. Anyways, i took her for a walk under the stars, then pulled her home.
Escalation:
Once inside, i kissed after less than 5 minutes (i had many chances before, but i thought i'd wait until im home). Went fine. But the first sign of LMR happened when i moved her from couch to bed: "i dont want to do more than kissing today".
I discarded that. I went as i normally would, kissing her body/ neck, applying pressure where she liked it, some incidentsl vaginal stimulation. At one point she threw a really bad remark: "you're going to get blue balls after this" But then she was evidently uncomfortable. I asked her what's wrong, and she told me what i dread: "i want to take this slow" "I don't want to do everything today bcz i want to have something more with you/ if i do everything then we'll stop talking". I threw everything i have (smoothly ): we're both enjoying ourselves let's keep it that way/ i wont just throw you away if you give me what i want like other men might/ i like to start my relationships with passion. At one point she offered to explain why she's acting this way, i asked her not to, as i guessed (correctly) that it has to so with some bad experience she's had with some other guy.. I told her that we're here to be happy not dwell on negatives. Now, I honestly surrendered by this point, but thought i should keep it up (no other option really). Some more kissing, but ultimately futile. Shes so bent on moving this slow! Then she gave signs of making her mind: she told me sorry that it didnt turn out to be as i "planned" (i told her not to be sorry as i expected nothing from her, and her comfort is my priority) and then she discussed, twce, going home. Okay i said, gave up. Felt bad, but oh well.
Was very sleepy on the way back. Didn't talk much. Dropped her off after around 15 minutes of driving- gave her a kiss and "nice spending time with you tonight ". BTW- at no point did i display discontent/ anger. I was completely chill with her even though i was boiling inside. Anyways, i drive 10 meters, and shout FUCK at the top of my lungs 3 times, and head home. I text her "nice spending time with you" blabla, she says nice things, i say thanks and goodnight.

I've read chase's article on what to do after a failed mating attempt, and i think its too much: i wasnt THAT bad, she genuinely wants me, but its her reservations of fucking me too soon. How would you handle this?
Also, any preventive measures for next time?

 

[Ergon]

Bump!

I'm kind of curious about this too...

Something very similar happened to me, except that in my case might've been we knew each other for a long time already. Did you see this girl again later?

 

[kalyan]

Bump!
Did you see this girl again later?

Hey Ergon!

I actually asked her out the following date, and she wrote a text saying she thinks im a really good guy blablabla but we can't date. bummer.

I saw her at a social event we both knew we were attending around a week later... In fact, she messaged me in the morning to ask if i'm going! I tried to not give her too much attention during the event so as not to chase, but gave her 3 minutes of my time at the end to keep her warm.
The next day I texted her and asked to take her for coffee in the weekend.. she said she's busy that weekend, also adding that she hasn't changed her stance on dating me.. She's worth pursing, but i wasn't willing to put in the time and energy to try and correct this.. Would've been much easier to do things correctly at the start! We haven't talked for more than a week, I guess that's that.

 

[Ergon]

Interesting. Thanks for the update.

I'm thinking now that usually If you had a great connectiont the first date, but couldn't close things, she will probably push for a second date soon but you have to capitalize and be able to meet them as soon as possible and then close things. I haven't been able to meet them when things are hot yet so I miss those opportunities.

Still I think, after that phase, or if you just did ok the first date, girls will still let you correct things and invite you to social events. That is much harder and risky. So definitely now I see why it's really important to be able to close things the first time, and how anything can happen before you have that second chance

Ergon

 

[TheEcho]

Hey gents!

The feels... this is way too familiar haha, girls not understanding that if you stop now, it's pretty much 99% gone (even if you make her orgasm so hard she can't walk or talk straight, if you didn't spread her, it all ends up the same). BUT we aren't helpless men alone out there, we have the great articles and minds of GC with us!

I personally haven't faced a girl saying we should go slow, but over my month back, over 6 interactions, I've moved from just kissing to at least having the tip in (the next girl is going to walk funny for a few days ). You can take these with a grain of salt, but here's the things I've been doing when LMR shows it's wretched face:

• In response to stated resistance: "No worries, we'll only go as far as you're okay with" *focuses on her face with eye contact and warm kissing and caressing of her head* (hand firmly at the base of her skull/Warmly cup a side of her face/that under jaw thing while kissing, followed by moving a hand to her mid back to pull/squeeze her into you, bonus points for putting her hands on you)
  
  Dry humping (does anyone have better name for this?) in various forms: slow, passionate thrusts/fast, small thrusts/grab around her shoulders and do powerful, controlled thrusts right into her pussy
  
  Magic hands: my hands have a mind of their own, constantly caressing her everywhere, always progressing what I touch, I skip boobs until she's comfortable with me touching her pussy(but if the ship is sinking, might as well enjoy them while they're there). You can turn her around and have her sitting between your legs(or on your lap, preferred), and firmly massage her neck and back (squeezing her traps is the simplest massage I can think of)
  
  Get your dick out! I had been afraid a girl would freak out if I took it out "early", but have found out that's not the case. If she mentions it, you can just say it was getting cramped in my pants, because of you . You can put her hand on it (both girls for me have just held it like a stick, but it seemed to make them more comfortable). Going with this one, undress yourself, the more skin-to-skin contact, the better.
  
  Now this is unique to my personality, my biggest desire in life is to benefit those around me the best I can. I will tell girls that my enjoyment in almost everything is based on how much the other person is enjoying theirself, and I hope she's enjoying herself right now (and throughout things, I glance at her face as I pleasure her, it feels awesome to see how good you're making her feel) (Note: I believe you can overdo this which wrecks your dominance, so do it a little {when needed} but not too much, and only if it's congruent to you)
  
  If she starts moaning during dry humping, you can dirty talk a little "you want to feel my dick slide into you? Want to feel your tight little pussy spread apart?" Gauge her reaction, (theory warning) I haven't done this yet, but I imagine if she's really getting into it, kiss her deeply, scout out with your tongue, and if she reciprocates (or attacks your mouth, always nice), stop the movement and go to insert yourself(she still may stop you, but you've created a better opportunity to try)
  
  Lastly, just hold her close, lightly kiss her forehead and/or top of her head, warmly move your hands around her almost-intimate areas (thighs, hips, butt, back, occasionally even boobs) then after a minute or two, ping her pussy to see how open she is to that, and reinitiate if you have a green light
  
  Honorable mention: Eating her out is one of my favorite things, so I consider it its own action. I made the girl in my second report orgasm in less then a minute by sucking up her clit and teasing it to hell in my mouth. I honestly don't know if it helped, but anything I can do to make a girl feel good, I like (within reason). I usually don't try for intimacy until I've tried to eat her out (simply because I want to eat her out), I'll have to experiment to see if it does help break down resistance, but she was soaked before soaked after.

Hope these help! Critiques are also welcome!(I'd hate to be doing and sharing unproductive things)

Take care gents!
Josh

 

[skin_man]

In response to stated resistance: "No worries, we'll only go as far as you're okay with" *focuses on her face with eye contact and warm kissing and caressing of her head* (hand firmly at the base of her skull/Warmly cup a side of her face/that under jaw thing while kissing, followed by moving a hand to her mid back to pull/squeeze her into you, bonus points for putting her hands on you)

Dry humping (does anyone have better name for this?) in various forms: slow, passionate thrusts/fast, small thrusts/grab around her shoulders and do powerful, controlled thrusts right into her pussy

Magic hands: my hands have a mind of their own, constantly caressing her everywhere, always progressing what I touch, I skip boobs until she's comfortable with me touching her pussy(but if the ship is sinking, might as well enjoy them while they're there). You can turn her around and have her sitting between your legs(or on your lap, preferred), and firmly massage her neck and back (squeezing her traps is the simplest massage I can think of)

Get your dick out! I had been afraid a girl would freak out if I took it out "early", but have found out that's not the case. If she mentions it, you can just say it was getting cramped in my pants, because of you . You can put her hand on it (both girls for me have just held it like a stick, but it seemed to make them more comfortable). Going with this one, undress yourself, the more skin-to-skin contact, the better.

Now this is unique to my personality

Great breakdown. You say it's unique to your personality yet i can relate. Done about ALL of them in recent times.

The weird thing that could happen with the tip in pussy scenario is that, would you be likely to see her again? Just curious.

Enjoy