Getting condescending by a owner of a tattoo shop in front of girls after he sees me flirting with them.

[jaythedon]

How to handle situations like this?

This is a situation that happened a bit back.

I went to get my ears pierced at a tattoo shop. Immediately as I enter, there's about 3-4 girls in the waiting area. I start talking to one and soon everyone in the waiting room is joining the conversation and good vibes/ flirtations. I'm the only guy in that room and getting good receptions. At the same time, there is a dude there who's looking at us sometimes and giving some negative looks but I didn't think much of it. (will play into it later)

As I'm waiting for my appointment, I always wanted to get a tattoo. I walk up to the dude working there and ask him about getting a sleeve and the pricings. But the conversation goes totally unexpected.

Me: Hey man! I always wanted to get a sleeve and wanted to start off maybe getting one. Can you tell me the prices that you charge and how to get one?

The Guy who was giving hater vibes (find out he's the owner): Ah, you probably can't man. Tattoos here are really expensive.

(I'm a bit thrown off by this but ignore it and continue)

Me: Ah nah, I just want a small tattoo to begin with! I see you got some cool ass sleeve, I kind of want one like that. What's the process like and how much should I expect? (Now everyone from the workers and the girls are paying attention)

Him: Ah these tattoos were done by an exclusive tattoo artist man. He only really works with celebrities and stuff. As far as the tattoo pricings, it's like buying a use car (he's saying this very condescendingly). What would you do if you wanted to buy a used car?

Me: (I'm thinking wtf is he talking about. I would just buy a new car. And I also know there's a price per hour cause I overheard his coworker talking about it) What?

Him: You would go through the car, inspect it to make sure it's quality and get the prices depending on the car right?

Me: Bro, you don't got a price for a small tattoo?

Him: Nah we don't do that here. Maybe try a cheaper store.

His employees are kind of lost at words for what's happening and is kind of like wtf? But he's the owner and doesn't say anything.

At this point my vibe is really down and when I go back to the waiting room, the girls are now ignoring me a bit.

I get my ears pierced and walk out of there a bit pissed off.

The next few days I'm steaming about this cause I can tell it was cause he was hating on me flirting with all the girls basically in his shop.

I call the this tattoo place and a girl employee picks up the phone. I ask her what the pricing is for tattoos and she says usually its like 50-80 an hour and you just have to bring a picture or what you want.

Me: Is the owner there?
Her: Hes out. Can I leave a message?
Me: Nvm

He calls back to my number

Owner: Hello?
Me: Hey man I got a question. So why is it that your worker knows the rate per hour; yet, when I asked you two days ago, you didn't answer that?
Owner: Uhh
Me: Yeah I know you remember me from few days ago. Listen, Ive been saving up to get a tattoo for awhile and you the owner. And you gave me some shitty as customer service.
Owner: Just leave a review on yelp man.
Me: I could. But then I would feel bad.
Owner: What?
Me: You never graduated high school did you?

(Then there's a long silence)

Me: That's what I thought. I was wondering about your stupid ass analogy about the used car and it made sense. You work as a tattoo artist cause you dropped out of high school, you def couldn't even get into a college, so now here you are attempting to sound smart in front of your employees by using a used car analogy instead of just giving me the prices.

Owner: Doesn't say anything

Me: That's what I thought. I'm not gonna leave a review cause I'm not trying to take money out your pocket but you the owner, I expect you to treat your customers professionally.
Owner: (Doesn't know what to say) Whatev man just leave a review on yelp.
Me: have a good day buddy.

This really pissed me off cause I was just being nice to the guy and he shitted on me in front of everyon and ruined the mood.

How should I have handled this better?

I have been in situations where the manager is talking in front of his employees and wants to look 'good' by trying to dominate. Any pointers would help out, thanks

 

[Chase]

@jaythedon,

Tattoo artists are artists, man. They take pride in their work.

There's an entire subculture around tattoos where customers who are shopping for tattoos go to shops, ask for examples of the artist's work, maybe mention how they heard about him, that they loved his work on such-and-such person or that they saw on such-and-such site, etc.

Imagine walking into an art gallery where some artist is showing his landscape paintings and walking up to the artist and being like, "Hey I've been thinking of having a painting done, maybe a big painting, but starting with a small painting. How much would that set me back?"

The artist feels zero appreciation of his work, zero recognition of whether this person even knows who he is or has any idea about how his work compares to others, zero appreciation of the art form, and is kind of clueless why he's being asked this, etc. Does the guy asking this even want a landscape painting or anything this artist does? Or is he just sort of asking randomly, like a random thought about "might be nice to get a painting sometime" has popped into his head?

Now... a very gracious artist (gallery painter or tattoo artist) might be patient and carefully explain to someone who is totally new to the scene what's involved in the art, selecting an artist, etc., without getting annoyed or condescending.

Less patient ones are going to react with "WTF!"

Another note on art: artists want to work art they feel good about. If you don't enjoy it it's a pretty miserable way to spend time doing it. Someone who is treating it too casually is going to tend to give you bad "this job is gonna suck" vibes.


Here's the conversation drill down:

Me: Hey man! I always wanted to get a sleeve and wanted to start off maybe getting one. Can you tell me the prices that you charge and how to get one?

Subcommunication here is "I'm not at all interested in the art or quality, I just wanna know the price."

The Guy who was giving hater vibes (find out he's the owner): Ah, you probably can't man. Tattoos here are really expensive.

Subcommunication here is "I don't want to deal with unknowledgeable tattoo subjects who are just shopping around for the 'best value'. Find a cheap-o hack tattoo artist."

Me: Ah nah, I just want a small tattoo to begin with! I see you got some cool ass sleeve, I kind of want one like that. What's the process like and how much should I expect? (Now everyone from the workers and the girls are paying attention)

Subcommunication: "I don't really know much about this but what's the price?"

Him: Ah these tattoos were done by an exclusive tattoo artist man. He only really works with celebrities and stuff. As far as the tattoo pricings, it's like buying a use car (he's saying this very condescendingly). What would you do if you wanted to buy a used car?

Me: (I'm thinking wtf is he talking about. I would just buy a new car. And I also know there's a price per hour cause I overheard his coworker talking about it) What?

Him: You would go through the car, inspect it to make sure it's quality and get the prices depending on the car right?

Subcommunication: "If you're going to be really hung up on this I will try to impress upon you the value of the art and that choosing an artist is a much more involved affair than simply looking for someone who is 'the right price'."

Me: Bro, you don't got a price for a small tattoo?

Subcommunication: "I don't know what all that meant but I'm shopping by price here. Gimme your best price."

Him: Nah we don't do that here. Maybe try a cheaper store.

Subcommunication: "If price is your sole criterion, this definitely ain't the spot for you. Find a cheap-o hack tattoo artist."


Never insult a man at his trade

Not being interested in the guy's skill, art, trade, etc., and going straight to price is ALWAYS an insult to an artisan.

It says, "I don't value your art skill at all. I just want the best price. You better give me your best price or I go elsewhere."

When I used to sell tires, and I'd have customers walk in saying, "Give me your cheapest tire!" I'd immediately know this guy does not know one lick about tires.

Usually I'd say "Sure thing!" then promptly ignore the entire request and find out what the guy actually wanted from a tire (and half the time end up selling him on the best, MOST EXPENSIVE tire -- because it was BETTER).

But sometimes if the dude seemed like a real dick, or a really broke MF, or I just wasn't in a selling mood, I'd do the whole "customer is always right" bit, tell him "If that is what you want, all right," slap some cheap-as-fuck Superride pieces of shit on his car that are gonna slide around in the rain and go "THUP-THUP-THUP-THUP-THUP" with road noise when he's driving down the road and end up worn out and in need of replacing in a year or two, and he'd get to leave feeling happy because he "haggled himself a great price."

I've been coaching in the dating space since 2007. You will get value shoppers here too. I have folks pretty well prescreened before I ever talk to them at all these days, but back in the day I used to get guys hitting me up with basically nothing in their message other than "Hey I need help and I'm thinking about you but I wanna know the price."

Basically no matter how you reply you feel like you're being judged solely on price, which feels super shitty if you care about your work (I do):

• NEGATIVE REPLY: "Nah that's too much." → "I don't value your work enough to pay that."
  
  
• POSITIVE REPLY: "Okay that's fine." → "I'm judging predominantly on price and you're cheap enough."

After enough of those I simply quit responding entirely to any message I got that had that "I'm picking a coach based on price" vibe, because no matter what the outcome it's not going to be something you want.

But that is what the whole thing with the tattoo artist came down to.

I highly, highly doubt it had anything to do with you flirting with the girls.

I strongly suspect it had everything to do with you (inadvertently) insulting the owner of the shop, who prides himself as an artist, and suddenly found himself being evaluated purely on price by someone who was showing little actual interest in his artistic merit.

If you want to avoid this with future artisans:

Show interest in his work first, and ask about the price second!

(or else make sure you're asking a staff member about the price so the artist doesn't hear it and take offense)

Chase

 

[Prodigy]

How to handle situations like this?

This is a situation that happened a bit back.

I went to get my ears pierced at a tattoo shop. Immediately as I enter, there's about 3-4 girls in the waiting area. I start talking to one and soon everyone in the waiting room is joining the conversation and good vibes/ flirtations. I'm the only guy in that room and getting good receptions. At the same time, there is a dude there who's looking at us sometimes and giving some negative looks but I didn't think much of it. (will play into it later)

As I'm waiting for my appointment, I always wanted to get a tattoo. I walk up to the dude working there and ask him about getting a sleeve and the pricings. But the conversation goes totally unexpected.

Me: Hey man! I always wanted to get a sleeve and wanted to start off maybe getting one. Can you tell me the prices that you charge and how to get one?

The Guy who was giving hater vibes (find out he's the owner): Ah, you probably can't man. Tattoos here are really expensive.

(I'm a bit thrown off by this but ignore it and continue)

Me: Ah nah, I just want a small tattoo to begin with! I see you got some cool ass sleeve, I kind of want one like that. What's the process like and how much should I expect? (Now everyone from the workers and the girls are paying attention)

Him: Ah these tattoos were done by an exclusive tattoo artist man. He only really works with celebrities and stuff. As far as the tattoo pricings, it's like buying a use car (he's saying this very condescendingly). What would you do if you wanted to buy a used car?

Me: (I'm thinking wtf is he talking about. I would just buy a new car. And I also know there's a price per hour cause I overheard his coworker talking about it) What?

Him: You would go through the car, inspect it to make sure it's quality and get the prices depending on the car right?

Me: Bro, you don't got a price for a small tattoo?

Him: Nah we don't do that here. Maybe try a cheaper store.

His employees are kind of lost at words for what's happening and is kind of like wtf? But he's the owner and doesn't say anything.

At this point my vibe is really down and when I go back to the waiting room, the girls are now ignoring me a bit.

I get my ears pierced and walk out of there a bit pissed off.

The next few days I'm steaming about this cause I can tell it was cause he was hating on me flirting with all the girls basically in his shop.

I call the this tattoo place and a girl employee picks up the phone. I ask her what the pricing is for tattoos and she says usually its like 50-80 an hour and you just have to bring a picture or what you want.

Me: Is the owner there?
Her: Hes out. Can I leave a message?
Me: Nvm

He calls back to my number

Owner: Hello?
Me: Hey man I got a question. So why is it that your worker knows the rate per hour; yet, when I asked you two days ago, you didn't answer that?
Owner: Uhh
Me: Yeah I know you remember me from few days ago. Listen, Ive been saving up to get a tattoo for awhile and you the owner. And you gave me some shitty as customer service.
Owner: Just leave a review on yelp man.
Me: I could. But then I would feel bad.
Owner: What?
Me: You never graduated high school did you?

(Then there's a long silence)

Me: That's what I thought. I was wondering about your stupid ass analogy about the used car and it made sense. You work as a tattoo artist cause you dropped out of high school, you def couldn't even get into a college, so now here you are attempting to sound smart in front of your employees by using a used car analogy instead of just giving me the prices.

Owner: Doesn't say anything

Me: That's what I thought. I'm not gonna leave a review cause I'm not trying to take money out your pocket but you the owner, I expect you to treat your customers professionally.
Owner: (Doesn't know what to say) Whatev man just leave a review on yelp.
Me: have a good day buddy.

This really pissed me off cause I was just being nice to the guy and he shitted on me in front of everyon and ruined the mood.

How should I have handled this better?

I have been in situations where the manager is talking in front of his employees and wants to look 'good' by trying to dominate. Any pointers would help out, thanks

I won't lie this was a bit funny to read ,your clapbacks are extremely cool though and it's something I would have said anyway he was a playa hater for sure

 

[Prodigy]

I won't lie this was a bit funny to read ,your clapbacks are extremely cool though and it's something I would have said anyway he was a playa hater for sure

Oh well now that I've heard Chase's point ,I understand fully what's going on I guess he was not a player hater after all.

 

[jaythedon]

@jaythedon,

Tattoo artists are artists, man. They take pride in their work.

There's an entire subculture around tattoos where customers who are shopping for tattoos go to shops, ask for examples of the artist's work, maybe mention how they heard about him, that they loved his work on such-and-such person or that they saw on such-and-such site, etc.

Imagine walking into an art gallery where some artist is showing his landscape paintings and walking up to the artist and being like, "Hey I've been thinking of having a painting done, maybe a big painting, but starting with a small painting. How much would that set me back?"

The artist feels zero appreciation of his work, zero recognition of whether this person even knows who he is or has any idea about how his work compares to others, zero appreciation of the art form, and is kind of clueless why he's being asked this, etc. Does the guy asking this even want a landscape painting or anything this artist does? Or is he just sort of asking randomly, like a random thought about "might be nice to get a painting sometime" has popped into his head?

Now... a very gracious artist (gallery painter or tattoo artist) might be patient and carefully explain to someone who is totally new to the scene what's involved in the art, selecting an artist, etc., without getting annoyed or condescending.

Less patient ones are going to react with "WTF!"

Another note on art: artists want to work art they feel good about. If you don't enjoy it it's a pretty miserable way to spend time doing it. Someone who is treating it too casually is going to tend to give you bad "this job is gonna suck" vibes.


Here's the conversation drill down:



Subcommunication here is "I'm not at all interested in the art or quality, I just wanna know the price."



Subcommunication here is "I don't want to deal with unknowledgeable tattoo subjects who are just shopping around for the 'best value'. Find a cheap-o hack tattoo artist."



Subcommunication: "I don't really know much about this but what's the price?"



Subcommunication: "If you're going to be really hung up on this I will try to impress upon you the value of the art and that choosing an artist is a much more involved affair than simply looking for someone who is 'the right price'."



Subcommunication: "I don't know what all that meant but I'm shopping by price here. Gimme your best price."



Subcommunication: "If price is your sole criterion, this definitely ain't the spot for you. Find a cheap-o hack tattoo artist."


Never insult a man at his trade

Not being interested in the guy's skill, art, trade, etc., and going straight to price is ALWAYS an insult to an artisan.

It says, "I don't value your art skill at all. I just want the best price. You better give me your best price or I go elsewhere."

When I used to sell tires, and I'd have customers walk in saying, "Give me your cheapest tire!" I'd immediately know this guy does not know one lick about tires.

Usually I'd say "Sure thing!" then promptly ignore the entire request and find out what the guy actually wanted from a tire (and half the time end up selling him on the best, MOST EXPENSIVE tire -- because it was BETTER).

But sometimes if the dude seemed like a real dick, or a really broke MF, or I just wasn't in a selling mood, I'd do the whole "customer is always right" bit, tell him "If that is what you want, all right," slap some cheap-as-fuck Superride pieces of shit on his car that are gonna slide around in the rain and go "THUP-THUP-THUP-THUP-THUP" with road noise when he's driving down the road and end up worn out and in need of replacing in a year or two, and he'd get to leave feeling happy because he "haggled himself a great price."

I've been coaching in the dating space since 2007. You will get value shoppers here too. I have folks pretty well prescreened before I ever talk to them at all these days, but back in the day I used to get guys hitting me up with basically nothing in their message other than "Hey I need help and I'm thinking about you but I wanna know the price."

Basically no matter how you reply you feel like you're being judged solely on price, which feels super shitty if you care about your work (I do):

• NEGATIVE REPLY: "Nah that's too much." → "I don't value your work enough to pay that."
  
  
• POSITIVE REPLY: "Okay that's fine." → "I'm judging predominantly on price and you're cheap enough."

After enough of those I simply quit responding entirely to any message I got that had that "I'm picking a coach based on price" vibe, because no matter what the outcome it's not going to be something you want.

But that is what the whole thing with the tattoo artist came down to.

I highly, highly doubt it had anything to do with you flirting with the girls.

I strongly suspect it had everything to do with you (inadvertently) insulting the owner of the shop, who prides himself as an artist, and suddenly found himself being evaluated purely on price by someone who was showing little actual interest in his artistic merit.

If you want to avoid this with future artisans:

Show interest in his work first, and ask about the price second!

(or else make sure you're asking a staff member about the price so the artist doesn't hear it and take offense)

Chase

Chase man,

This is insane. Thanks for sharing this with me. I would've never even suspected these types of reasoning.
I'm definitely socially clueless and got a lot of work to do.

Thanks again. You opened my eyes a lot.

I got a lot of learning to do.

 

[jaythedon]

Oh well now that I've heard Chase's point ,I understand fully what's going on I guess he was not a player hater after all.

Yeah, it's extremely easy to just label someone as a hater when you don't have the understanding. Glad Chase broke that down for me .