Getting "I have a headache" when texting

[mkivtt]

OK, it's not "I have a headache" when trying to initiate sex lol.

Girl and I've been texting for 2 wks (she says she can't meet until next wk). Cocky/funny, role playing, teasing. I kept it in short supply... maybe every 2-3 days we'd text ~12 messages each back and forth.

To avoid becoming "just a clown," I did call last Thu, but she didn't answer. Later that night she texted she was with her brother and apologized.... I saw it Fri morning but didn't respond, and she texted again to ask "are you upset with me?" To build comfort I wrote something like "I would never be. Smile <her name>, and don't worry. Smile - it makes you beautiful." to which she beamed back "thank you! I am smiling now "

So here's the dilemma. Up to here it went well. I called again Sun afternoon. No answer, but she called back in 5 mins. I was calm, composed, talked slowly, and tried to build comfort and an emotional connection by asking questions about her, following up with stuff like "how did that make you feel." She'd apparently been trying on clothing for a wedding and another celebration when I called, and after ~8 mins I heard her mom (who was apparently over) ask her a question, and after another min she said she had to go to try on some more stuff for her mom and we ended the call.

This put me off - I figured since she called back, she would've done so at a good time and been able to chat.... or at least have found 5 more mins to finish the call normally. But she ended it... which is still nagging at me. She responded well on the call, but now I'm also worrying if I was digging too deep too fast or being too supplicating.

So today I text her something funny at 2pm and she doesn't get back until 7pm saying she didn't read it until now, and a half-hearted "how are u." Then after 2 messages from me, she just says "I have a headache." I stumbled and I sent something stupid and sappy: "sorry to hear that. I'll send a butterfly to help you get well." Dumb... I feel I lowered my value by saying sorry, and I'm pretty sure that "get well" was way too sappy.

So Sun she hangs up on me, and today I was the last to text (and a stupid msg at that). I can't stand it when I'm not the one to end a call, or when I'm the last one to text. It makes me feel like I'm losing my value and her interest.

1. Just how much did I screw up with my last msg? Am I imagining things (I really like her... am looking for something long term)? I've avoided all needy/AFC/compliment stuff until now.
2. How would you respond to "I have a headache"? You can't really be cocky/funny.... is a simple "will text later then. Get well soon" the best option here?
3. Should I send a "hope you're feeling better <random flirty nickname>!" tomorrow, or would that be too supplicating and needy?

Thanks for any responses. I can't think straight since I'm starting to feel for her (bad... I know sigh).

 

[mkivtt]

Well, she did just respond. She said "I like butterflies! " and responded to the question I'd asked right before she said she has a headache.

So I guess all is not lost. Man, I'm starting to lose it. Any advice on how not to fall for a girl lol! Oh... still could use advice on question 3 too.

 

[Marty]

Hey mkivtt, I feel I am still a ways "behind" you in this learning process so am not going to go too heavy on the suggestions.

BUT as a bystander reading this, two things occur to me:

(a) the responses you are getting are pretty good, sounds like she likes you
(b) please don't get hung up on her on the basis of this extensive text exchange, maybe you need to open (discreetly) a few other girls in the meantime to ensure you're in the right frame of mind? --just for that reason, of course )

Have you read Ricardus's article How Not to Fall in Love? https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-not-fall-love-too-soonI haven't, but I've seen it out there, and I've intentionally left it so I know it's there when I might need it. For you, sounds like it's high time to bring it top-of-mind, my friend

I have gotten myself into messes of that nature in the past (more than once, but once especially badly...) and I can't help but recall Chase's advice to keep texting directed toward a meetup where you can do a better job of demonstrating how awesome you are!

 

[Richard]

Mk! From here on out with this girl, remain calm, and for sure remain logical, and remember what I am about to say. Slow things down with her if you want her as a girlfriend, do everything this site teaches just slower. You like her slot, okay, you have two things which take precedence over your actions, your head and your heart. Let your heart go on autopilot, how you feel won't change anything except for how you act in future situations, from here on out follow your head, think about things before you do them.
For future reference, use "sexual frames," and chase frames as soon as possible, when she said she has a headache, Id say something like:
" You know so and so, sex is great for getting rid of headaches. Too bad I'm not there to help " maybe not exactly like that, but you get the gist.
For question 3, don't state "hope you're feeling better" instead, ask her how she's feeling, and continue from there.