A
Anonymous
Guest
Hi everone ,
I'm single , 28 and from Belgium.
Had 1 long term relationship (7 years)where i have one awesome kid from.
Been single for over 4 years now , and i'm dating a girl now.
I've been looking for some help with my situation.
And came accros this website wich has already given me some pointers.
But , i've come to a point where i NEED help.
Because i can't figure it out on my own.
Nor can my friends who i've talked about this.
I'l try to sketch the situation as good as possible.
Please excuse my english as this is not my native language.
Beginning november i was at a party ,
and apparantly we talked and danced for a couple of hours.
Me , being the party animal i am when i drink 15 beers.
Didn't remember a thing the day after.
But , she added me on facebook and started talking to me.
And asking if i wanted to go on a date with her the next day.
Everything went very smooth , talked , laughed , had a couple of drinks.
The normal stuff , getting to know eachother.
Despite me being very nervous in her neighbourhood ,
we both had a good time.
Nothing happened , it seemed wrong to kiss her on the first date.
Apparantly , she enjoyed our first date.
And asked thesame night for another one (before i could ask it).
This went on for a week , seeing eachother about every other day , or every day.
At this point i started to get feelings for her at the end.
But , being very nervous as i am.
Totally missed the ball at one piont to kiss her.
Bad timing apparantly.
It was not welcome.
Even after our 6th date.
The day after this happened she send a text telling me that it wouldn't work out between us.
But , also said that hopefully this wouldn't change anything between us ,
because she likes having me around to do stuff.
(Yeah , i realised i was in the friendzone at that point).
That came like a sledgehammer.
Totally wrecking me for a week.
I enjoyed those time so mutch , i think i was mutch further in our relationship then she was.
Okay ,
fastforward a few weeks to beginning december.
We never lost touch , texting over facebook for hours on end.
She works at a local sandwich shop i frenquently visit.
One day i dropped by with my kid.
For me , nothing special happened there.
But the text i got that evening stated that she got shy when i walked in.
Her translated text "I got red , blushy and shy.
Nothing or nobody has done that to me.
Sorry i said that it can't work out.
Apparantly you do more to me then i realise.
Got anything to do tonight?"
Well , i though "here's my shot , my second chance".
We had numerous dates untill now.
But , she has a strange thing going on.
When we had a night we sat close , cuddeled , kissed , ...
She would send text that would throw me off my throne ,
putting me back on my feet.
At one point she said that the problem was her ex.
He had broken her in such a way she had no self esteem left.
That she was very unsecure of herself.
And that she was not ready for a relationship yet because of this.
Also , she frequently jokingly pionted out to me of my nervousity problem.
Everytime i asked her, after an awesome date ,
that she would be ready for a relationship ,
she would answer with a text later saying she is not.
She would get my hopes up everytime on a date , talking and planning things with my for the months to come.
Even as far as march.
But some random day she says thing like she got in contact with an ex.
Who would love to get a date with her.
I've heard her talking about this dude ,
he outclasses me in every possible way...
She went on a date with him.
But later that same day told me she could never have feelings for him again.
So , "sledgehammer" and "put me back on my feet number 21" in our dating history.
The last 2 weeks we talked allot.
Seeing eachother again , allot.
Had our first sexualy tinted experience last saturday ,
and again last sunday.
Got me back in the air.
Got me going good.
I thought , if she lets me in so close.
This must work out.
We where texting allot of "loving" texts back and forth.
Now yesterday evening ,
i was preparing for a big bussines-travel (i will be gone for about 12 days).
I asked her if she had any plans next saturday ,
because i wanted to take her out for dinner and a movie afterwards (and probably like always , ending up at her place).
She responded "yeah , i got my saturday booked"
I replied that i wanted to see her before i want on the bussinestrip.
Even if that meant during this week.
"I don't know yet" was the response.
After one of the most fun weekends i've had in a long time,
she has put me down.
Again.
I was on a point of breaking last night.
I sincerely have allot of feelings for her.
You know , that kind where even your appetite to eat dissapears.
But yeah , i thought , maybe better this is all over.
Those mixed signals she has send me all this time where wrecking me.
I found some rest in that.
Today ,
my company orderred some lunch at the sandwich-bar she works at.
I went to pick it up.
Knowing i would see her there ,
i was going to show she has not taken me down.
I was checking the order and noticed that she had forgotten my personal order.
"Oh no problem , i'll start on it right away.
I pay , exchanging a glance when i left.
Just now , i got a text from her saying :
"I really didn't forget your order , this way i could enjoy looking at you longer then 30 seconds"
So , that's the story.
Long read , i know.
But i'm at a point i need help from someone experienced.
And not someone who is concerned with my feeling (like my friends who always say it will be ok).
I used the anonimity of the internet for this.
And you kind sirs.
Thank you already to read up ,
And hopefully give me some advice on how to handle this.
Probably , get out while you damage yourself any further.
But i think , this girl could be the one.
We connect on a whole different level then i'm used to.
Even with my ex.
Thanks in advance.
Kind regards,
Racer.
I'm single , 28 and from Belgium.
Had 1 long term relationship (7 years)where i have one awesome kid from.
Been single for over 4 years now , and i'm dating a girl now.
I've been looking for some help with my situation.
And came accros this website wich has already given me some pointers.
But , i've come to a point where i NEED help.
Because i can't figure it out on my own.
Nor can my friends who i've talked about this.
I'l try to sketch the situation as good as possible.
Please excuse my english as this is not my native language.
Beginning november i was at a party ,
and apparantly we talked and danced for a couple of hours.
Me , being the party animal i am when i drink 15 beers.
Didn't remember a thing the day after.
But , she added me on facebook and started talking to me.
And asking if i wanted to go on a date with her the next day.
Everything went very smooth , talked , laughed , had a couple of drinks.
The normal stuff , getting to know eachother.
Despite me being very nervous in her neighbourhood ,
we both had a good time.
Nothing happened , it seemed wrong to kiss her on the first date.
Apparantly , she enjoyed our first date.
And asked thesame night for another one (before i could ask it).
This went on for a week , seeing eachother about every other day , or every day.
At this point i started to get feelings for her at the end.
But , being very nervous as i am.
Totally missed the ball at one piont to kiss her.
Bad timing apparantly.
It was not welcome.
Even after our 6th date.
The day after this happened she send a text telling me that it wouldn't work out between us.
But , also said that hopefully this wouldn't change anything between us ,
because she likes having me around to do stuff.
(Yeah , i realised i was in the friendzone at that point).
That came like a sledgehammer.
Totally wrecking me for a week.
I enjoyed those time so mutch , i think i was mutch further in our relationship then she was.
Okay ,
fastforward a few weeks to beginning december.
We never lost touch , texting over facebook for hours on end.
She works at a local sandwich shop i frenquently visit.
One day i dropped by with my kid.
For me , nothing special happened there.
But the text i got that evening stated that she got shy when i walked in.
Her translated text "I got red , blushy and shy.
Nothing or nobody has done that to me.
Sorry i said that it can't work out.
Apparantly you do more to me then i realise.
Got anything to do tonight?"
Well , i though "here's my shot , my second chance".
We had numerous dates untill now.
But , she has a strange thing going on.
When we had a night we sat close , cuddeled , kissed , ...
She would send text that would throw me off my throne ,
putting me back on my feet.
At one point she said that the problem was her ex.
He had broken her in such a way she had no self esteem left.
That she was very unsecure of herself.
And that she was not ready for a relationship yet because of this.
Also , she frequently jokingly pionted out to me of my nervousity problem.
Everytime i asked her, after an awesome date ,
that she would be ready for a relationship ,
she would answer with a text later saying she is not.
She would get my hopes up everytime on a date , talking and planning things with my for the months to come.
Even as far as march.
But some random day she says thing like she got in contact with an ex.
Who would love to get a date with her.
I've heard her talking about this dude ,
he outclasses me in every possible way...
She went on a date with him.
But later that same day told me she could never have feelings for him again.
So , "sledgehammer" and "put me back on my feet number 21" in our dating history.
The last 2 weeks we talked allot.
Seeing eachother again , allot.
Had our first sexualy tinted experience last saturday ,
and again last sunday.
Got me back in the air.
Got me going good.
I thought , if she lets me in so close.
This must work out.
We where texting allot of "loving" texts back and forth.
Now yesterday evening ,
i was preparing for a big bussines-travel (i will be gone for about 12 days).
I asked her if she had any plans next saturday ,
because i wanted to take her out for dinner and a movie afterwards (and probably like always , ending up at her place).
She responded "yeah , i got my saturday booked"
I replied that i wanted to see her before i want on the bussinestrip.
Even if that meant during this week.
"I don't know yet" was the response.
After one of the most fun weekends i've had in a long time,
she has put me down.
Again.
I was on a point of breaking last night.
I sincerely have allot of feelings for her.
You know , that kind where even your appetite to eat dissapears.
But yeah , i thought , maybe better this is all over.
Those mixed signals she has send me all this time where wrecking me.
I found some rest in that.
Today ,
my company orderred some lunch at the sandwich-bar she works at.
I went to pick it up.
Knowing i would see her there ,
i was going to show she has not taken me down.
I was checking the order and noticed that she had forgotten my personal order.
"Oh no problem , i'll start on it right away.
I pay , exchanging a glance when i left.
Just now , i got a text from her saying :
"I really didn't forget your order , this way i could enjoy looking at you longer then 30 seconds"
So , that's the story.
Long read , i know.
But i'm at a point i need help from someone experienced.
And not someone who is concerned with my feeling (like my friends who always say it will be ok).
I used the anonimity of the internet for this.
And you kind sirs.
Thank you already to read up ,
And hopefully give me some advice on how to handle this.
Probably , get out while you damage yourself any further.
But i think , this girl could be the one.
We connect on a whole different level then i'm used to.
Even with my ex.
Thanks in advance.
Kind regards,
Racer.
