Getting Over Girls I Sexed

[Troy]

I managed to block Ashley on whatsapp and texts and calls. However I am struggling to get over her. Right now I have no other girls to sex and it sucks that my only sexual option is gone.

I haven't broken up with her. Reason why is because my friends said she might harm me. One of her closest male friends spoke to me yesterday and said that she is a dangerous girl. She could send a video of her sexing another man but that is the least. He also said she could run me down with a knife if I dare leave her or get a bad man to harass me and potentially put my life at risk.

I don't know what to do.

Richie, her same friend, also my friend said I should give her time away from myself and I agree. She might even be worse than Malika. Today I discussed with Shanel thathat as her best friend she needs to talk to Ashley because she is being very loose.

Long story short, Ashley was going to meet a man today to fuck and her friends had to stop her because they respect me enough to not want her cheating on me.

Her friends say don't break up with her because I would be making the biggest mistake. She is a little slut and I am sick of her ways.


We argued about her behavior today and because they stopped her from meeting the guy I know she will fuck him silly tomorrow.

Despite how much I am fed up with her I don't want her doing that. What should I do? I don't want her back OK. My friends said I should leave her alone and find a girlfriend then come back and keep Ashley as a side chick. Which means she will still be my girlfriend who isn't my personal girl. Do you think this is a good Idea?

Finally after that argument I went into town to start rebuilding my abundance. Yet all I could think about was Ashley ( and sadly Malika) despite their craziness. I just miss the sex and I'm focusing on meeting other girls yet it falls flat. I got approach anxiety and saw both girls in town..


One good thing happened though before I went home. I saw a girl I barely knew from school and I hugged her and same time another girl gave me approach invitations and I acted on it. I flirted with her and got her number and we spoke on the phone earlier. So not all bad for me today

Troy

 

[Jaimie Richards]

Hello Troy,

Bearing in mind your history with crazies, I've been getting worried what's up with you - so good to get a post from you!

I haven't broken up with her. Reason why is because my friends said she might harm me. One of her closest male friends spoke to me yesterday and said that she is a dangerous girl. She could send a video of her sexing another man but that is the least. He also said she could run me down with a knife if I dare leave her or get a bad man to harass me and potentially put my life at risk. I don't know what to do.

Taking into account what info you've gotten, I guess it's best not to dump her in a straightforward way and just ignore her (NEXT her). With ease she's got with men, she may find a crazy guy and getting involved with even more craziness isn't what you should do. Also, that's something I've been worried since first reading your crazy-themed stories - and now sadly I'm not the only one.

There's really no use in going out of your way to dump her, just plain old ignoring seems enough. Everywhere you get, pretend to be busy - you can even tell some people who like gossip that you've got much under your belt these days, so people will tell others you're busy.

From there, you can go in two directions - full mysterious or partly mysterious. First one of them: you only tell them there's much stuff involving your work which is connected with family, school, future projects and you either can't tell details (like family stuff) or don't want to put the horse before the cart (first you want to achieve something and then boast about it, not the other way around).

The other way is also simple: make up some stories about being busy but without too much details so it'll be more believable. It can be anything, honestly. Just write them down so you don't forget 'em.

[edit - additional note: by doing this you'll look as a busy person, so neither your crazy lover nor anyone else will have any right to blame you for ignoring her (them), because you're just BUSY. To make it even more believable, make your contact with others - like Shannel, Charlie etc. - less frequent like reply with a longer time delay or just don't answer every text / call you get, finish phone conversations ASAP as you're busy now but you'll be free later etc. Your NEXTing will be less powerful, but more believable - just two people who shake hands and part friends because changes in their life. You may get blamed for ignoring someone in an explicit way, be it a lover, a friend or a family member, but when you're truly busy nobody should hold grudge against you.]

Richie, her same friend, also my friend said I should give her time away from myself and I agree. She might even be worse than Malika. Today I discussed with Shanel thathat as her best friend she needs to talk to Ashley because she is being very loose.

Stop caring about her. If she wants to be the loosest person in the universe, that doesn't matter. Stop. Thinking. About. Her. PERIOD.

Don't become a white knight. She wants to sleep with guys? OK. Girls? OK. Horses? OK. Masturbate with cucumbers or even witch's broom (which seems kinda appropriate here)? OK. Don't ever try to save her - good men should help ladies (and generally people) in danger (like someone being beaten or caught in a fire), not witches who bring their doom upon themselves and other people around them.

You'll never get over her if you still find different things related to her to obsess over about. Your time for her is and MUST be OVER (as I've said before).

Long story short, Ashley was going to meet a man today to fuck and her friends had to stop her because they respect me enough to not want her cheating on me.

Read what I've said above. Twice.

Her friends say don't break up with her because I would be making the biggest mistake.

Don't be stupid and don't listen to foolish advice. They are HER friends. If they are guys, they probably are her white-knighting orbiters. Crazies often have somewhat magnetic personalities and they drag such guys towards them. If they are girls, they can be crazy in the same way as she is - so NEXT them too as a precaution.

She is a little slut and I am sick of her ways.

Really, only A LITTLE?

Despite how much I am fed up with her I don't want her doing that. What should I do? I don't want her back OK. My friends said I should leave her alone and find a girlfriend then come back and keep Ashley as a side chick. Which means she will still be my girlfriend who isn't my personal girl. Do you think this is a good Idea?

It's the worst idea since WWII. First you worry about her putting your health and even life at risk and then you want to bring her back as a side chick?!

So if sound reasoning has a long way to go here, then maybe a little fear will help - if you think about her with a knife, then tell me how easy for her is to get one when you're sleeping after sex at her place?

I know it sounds extreme, but maybe it's what's necessary here to finally NEXT her.

The idea of NEXTing isn't telling yourself "I've NEXTed here" and then obsessing about her and finding new ways to bring her back to your life in a while. It's the same as, let's say, with quitting smoking cigarettes: you don't say "I've quit smoking" and then light a new smoke.

Also: you cannot force change on her and she'll probably always keep craziness inside of her, so don't even think about changing her.

One good thing happened though before I went home. I saw a girl I barely knew from school and I hugged her and same time another girl gave me approach invitations and I acted on it. I flirted with her and got her number and we spoke on the phone earlier. So not all bad for me today

Finally good news!

BTW, when do you finish high school? I mean, final exams. How much time do you have before going to university or starting work? The sooner, the better: a fresh start would be helpful in your situation.

Don't take me wrong, I probably sound harsh, but I cannot see now any other way to help you.

Take care,
Jaimie

P.S. If after NEXTing her you'll ever bring her (or Malika) back to your life, then I guess I'll literally have to swim the ocean just to kick you in the butt

P.S.2. I've just run into an idea.

If you decide to pretend you're busy and don't want to be seen socially for a while to get over her and get back in good shape, then do one of those things:

1. Spend more time on GC boards and become more active here.

2. Start doing something both fun and beneficial in social arts - start watching Californication (for Hank Moody), The Sopranos (many great characters there so you can learn something about different personality types), I, Claudius or Game of Thrones (same reasons as TS). You can also read GOT (truly magnificent stuff!).

3. Spend more time working out at home (I don't know if you have equipment, but there's always something you can do without it - like pushups.

This way you'll concentrate on something different than girls and get something out of doing it. I know that first good advice here is to meet more girls, but if you want to pretend you're busy you don't want to be seen all the time approaching and dating (especially in the area when you can constantly run into your exes). Learning new skills when emotionally dry isn't efficient, so do something else instead which can give you fun (therefore, good feelings to replace bad ones) and at least a little benefit.

 

[Richard]

Belief systems buddy. Absolutely no action, incident, or happening has any meaning innately. It is up to you as a person to give it meaning; and that meaning comes from what you believe about the situation.

Why can't you get over her? For one you're still thinking about her as a slut, as a danger to your life, meaning she's a problem that you cannot ignore. Focusing your thoughts and energy on a girl who you had a prior commitment or relationship with is never a good idea. That's why girls always fall for the bad boys who leave them crying about what assholes they are: they're investing time and energy into that person.

A good thing for you to do would be to take a rubber band and snap it on your wrist every time you think of her. You'll teach yourself to not think about her at all.

Furthermore, do not make her anything in your life. Not a girlfriend, side chick, etc.

You need to go out and approach. You're not in a position where you can afford to be stagnant, if you let that approach anxiety and general worry about Ashley/Malika go without taking any action (action being approach different women) then you're going to spiral down into a very bad place. A place I have been to... twice. Don't go to that place buddy. I simply will not allow you to spiral down because of two crazy bitches who like to fuck; girls love dick, approach them until they want your dick.

 

[Troy]

you can even tell some people who like gossip that you've got much under your belt these days, so people will tell others you're busy.

Not totally related but I will ask, do you think its a good idea to tell others at school what happened, not in detail but let them know Ashley is a " fuck around chick". I wouldn't do it in a way to disgrace Ashley or Malika. People have been asking me if we are still talking and girls keep telling me to watch myself because I'm dealing with girls who fuck a lot. So telling people what happened wouldn't be slut shaming anyone. But how far should I go with it? I'm thinking this can bring a lot of drama and boost my social status....then again both Ashley ( and Malika...I stop talking to her ) could start a rumour of me as a " bad lover " or " small dick guy that girls should avoid ". It's the last thing I want happening. I'd stick to just telling people Ashley tried to have sex with me bareback...yes it did happen. She was in cowgirl position and took off the condom and I pushed her away, went to the bathroom to clear my head, then fucked her harder for that stupidness.....that's a long story not related to this topic so I will post that report in my lay report.

How much should I tell people? I don't want to freak them out with all this craziness from both girls...it could backfire.

They are HER friends. If they are guys, they probably are her white-knighting orbiters. Crazies often have somewhat magnetic personalities and they drag such guys towards them. If they are girls, they can be crazy in the same way as she is - so NEXT them too as a precaution.

Some of them might be crazy. I will next those friends. However all of Ashley's closest friends know what happened and are disturbed. In fact, Shanel is a devoted Christian and said to me " I can't believe she did that. She must be crazy and I might have to ditch her because she is being too loose. She justs goes without thinking and has sex with anyone ". Most of her friends are blaming Ashley for this relationship failure 90% of the way.

I don't think ditching her friends who are against her doings is necessary. Reason why is they wouldn't do those things. What do you think?

Really, only A LITTLE?

Correction: SHE IS A BIG SLUT

BTW, when do you finish high school? I mean, final exams. How much time do you have before going to university or starting work? The sooner, the better: a fresh start would be helpful in your situation.

I have one more year. Will graduate July 2016

Learning new skills when emotionally dry isn't efficient, so do something else instead which can give you fun (therefore, good feelings to replace bad ones) and at least a little benefit.

I agree with that, especially in my situation it's really difficult to go approach girls when I am emotionally dry. I went out feeling drained and every girl I approached could feel it. I was smiling yet my heart was disturbed....It's been a long month of madness with two chicks....Never the less, as Richard said I need to move on and meet more girls and move on from this madness. Time to meet NORMAL GIRLS.

That's why girls always fall for the bad boys who leave them crying about what assholes they are: they're investing time and energy into that person.

I wonder if I could strike that cord in Ashley even though I will not go back to her. I sexed her real hard on Wednesday ( and came on her neck and boobs and put my dick on her face ) , ignored her messages ( as instructed ), and left her angry at me, and her friends and myself argued about this on Friday with Ashley (I got some of the blame because her friends think sex should wait till marriage :/...anyways) ...mhmm I hope she remembers me as a bad boy

A good thing for you to do would be to take a rubber band and snap it on your wrist every time you think of her. You'll teach yourself to not think about her at all.

I have a rubber band on each hand. Haha between 5:30 and now I have slapped myself over 200 times.


Troy

 

[Jaimie Richards]

Howdy, bro,

you can even tell some people who like gossip that you've got much under your belt these days, so people will tell others you're busy.

Not totally related but I will ask, do you think its a good idea to tell others at school what happened, not in detail but let them know Ashley is a " fuck around chick". I wouldn't do it in a way to disgrace Ashley or Malika.(1) People have been asking me if we are still talking and girls keep telling me to watch myself because I'm dealing with girls who fuck a lot. So telling people what happened wouldn't be slut shaming anyone. But how far should I go with it? I'm thinking this can bring a lot of drama and boost my social status....(2)then again both Ashley ( and Malika...I stop talking to her ) could start a rumour of me as a " bad lover " or " small dick guy that girls should avoid ". It's the last thing I want happening. I'd stick to just telling people Ashley tried to have sex with me bareback...yes it did happen. She was in cowgirl position and took off the condom and I pushed her away, went to the bathroom to clear my head, then fucked her harder for that stupidness.....that's a long story not related to this topic so I will post that report in my lay report.(3)

How much should I tell people? I don't want to freak themout with all this craziness from both girls...it could backfire.(4)

First things first: talking about your sex-life in public isn't a good idea. If you have a group of friends who you can trust (of course, to a certain degree), then telling them you've had recently a crazy, wild adventure is OK - but without personal details of the other person (or people) involved. It's good to have a rule regarding this stuff, for instance: personally, I don't ever tell sex-themed stories with personal details of other people (girls/women, but also white knights or bad boys who were present in a given scenario) and to my memory come only 2-3 situations when I told my closest friends about my adventures (without any personal details, as said before).

Now to additions which I've associated with your post:

(1) As said above, don't tell such things. If people know that you've been with these girls, then that's way more than they should ever know. Be discreet, be a true member of the secret society.
(2) You're right, it can cause tons of drama in many ways - some even beyond our current imagination. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom - the other way around you will have to deal with stuff like (for example): enraged white knights, A&M's crazy male friends who think you've disrespected them, anger from A&M, other girls may become more reserved towards you (if you talk about your sex life with your exes, then what will you prevent to talk about other girls sex life after your future relationships are over?) etc. The more you talk about them, the more you think about them and the more attention of others you bring to the topic, so it will get even harder for you to distance yourself from it.
(3) It doesn't matter if you had sex bareback, dressed as priest and nun, on a bed covered with dollars or whatever. It gives no more reasons to talk about it.
(4) Nothing and yes, it most possibly will backfire - sooner or later.

They are HER friends. If they are guys, they probably are her white-knighting orbiters. Crazies often have somewhat magnetic personalities and they drag such guys towards them. If they are girls, they can be crazy in the same way as she is - so NEXT them too as a precaution.

Some of them might be crazy. I will next those friends. However all of Ashley's closest friends know what happened and are disturbed. In fact, Shanel is a devoted Christian and said to me " I can't believe she did that. She must be crazy and I might have to ditch her because she is being too loose. She justs goes without thinking and has sex with anyone ". Most of her friends are blaming Ashley for this relationship failure 90% of the way.

I don't think ditching her friends who are against her doings is necessary. Reason why is they wouldn't do those things. What do you think?

Two things here:

(1) Use the situation to your advantage and don't give them (or her) any more ammunition. You don't have to ditch them all, just stay vigilant, because it looks like one hell of a dynamic situation.
(2) How do you know they wouldn't do those things? Believe in ACTIONS, not WORDS, my friend - actions themselves (or lack of them) don't tell you everything you need to know, but they tell way more than words.

BTW, when do you finish high school? I mean, final exams. How much time do you have before going to university or starting work? The sooner, the better: a fresh start would be helpful in your situation.

I have one more year. Will graduate July 2016

Can you take some kind of vacation like a week off, go to friends or family or on your own (would your parents agree?). Going to another place, approaching there new chicks, maybe meeting new cool people to bring to your life and relaxing (while you can also take with you some school work or a good book or whatever to keep you busy when you're alone) would be a good idea, I guess.

Learning new skills when emotionally dry isn't efficient, so do something else instead which can give you fun (therefore, good feelings to replace bad ones) and at least a little benefit.

I agree with that, especially in my situation it's really difficult to go approach girls when I am emotionally dry. I went out feeling drained and every girl I approached could feel it. I was smiling yet my heart was disturbed....It's been a long month of madness with two chicks....Never the less, as Richard said I need to move on and meet more girls and build move on from this madness. Time to meet NORMAL GIRLS.

True, I agree with Richard in 100% - you should approach and get in touch with new hot chicks. That's right. My advice was geared towards giving you something valuable to do besides pick-up related stuff, so you can do something interesting all the time and have benefits and fun out of it. Also, it's better to have different things to think about so you don't concentrate on A&M - the more, the better.

That's why girls always fall for the bad boys who leave them crying about what assholes they are: they're investing time and energy into that person.

I wonder if I could strike that cord in Ashley even though I will notgo back to her. I sexed her real hard on Wednesday ( and came on her neck and boobs and put my dick on her face ) , ignored her messages ( as instructed ), and left her angry after me and her friends argued about this on Friday...mhmm I hope she remembers me as a bad boy

Maybe, but don't think about striking cords other than if you play guitar

 

[Troy]

First things first: talking about your sex-life in public isn't a good idea. If you have a group of friends who you can trust (of course, to a certain degree), then telling them you've had recently a crazy, wild adventure is OK - but without personal details of the other person (or people) involved. It's good to have a rule regarding this stuff, for instance: personally, I don't ever tell sex-themed stories with personal details of other people (girls/women, but also white knights or bad boys who were present in a given scenario) and to my memory come only 2-3 situations when I told my closest friends about my adventures (without any personal details, as said before).

Now to additions which I've associated with your post:

(1) As said above, don't tell such things. If people know that you've been with these girls, then that's way more than they should ever know. Be discreet, be a true member of the secret society.
(2) You're right, it can cause tons of drama in many ways - some even beyond our current imagination. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom - the other way around you will have to deal with stuff like (for example): enraged white knights, A&M's crazy male friends who think you've disrespected them, anger from A&M, other girls may become more reserved towards you (if you talk about your sex life with your exes, then what will you prevent to talk about other girls sex life after your future relationships are over?) etc. The more you talk about them, the more you think about them and the more attention of others you bring to the topic, so it will get even harder for you to distance yourself from it.
(3) It doesn't matter if you had sex bareback, dressed as priest and nun, on a bed covered with dollars or whatever. It gives no more reasons to talk about it.
(4) Nothing and yes, it most possibly will backfire - sooner or later.

Damn I broke this rule a couple times. I spoke to one of my close female friends on whatsapp about this and she knows everything. She also knows both girls but she would never tell them I said these things. Me and her are just friends so I'm not planning to sex her or anything . I told Richie, her close friend a little about my and Ashley's sex life. He also accidentally saw of the pics. I told him not to tell anyone though. He kept framing it like everything was OK and he already knew Ashley was easy and he kept telling me about girls he sexed. He shared stories in detail of girls I know that he sexed .

I told Jonell, another female friend who doesn't know any of the girls but goes to the school. I stopped the group of girls who told me she sexes a lot that I confirmed it. And I also said she sexes alot to them. Damn now I'm wondering if I blew my chances to be seen as discreet.
People know a bit and take it to a mile and want to know and pressure me and next thing I told them.

How do I recover from this.. Sigh I hope I don't create more drama. This part is totally my fault. I was too open without realizing. Good thing is the girls don't care about their reputation and tell friend's what they like. Good thing other girls told me before so it doesn't seem like I'm trying to scandal anyone. I was only confirming what they told me way before Ashley told me.

Troy

 

[Jaimie Richards]

What's done, it's done, but don't concentrate on that. Instead:

(1) Take a lesson from it and don't do that mistake again (in this or any other scenario).

(2) Don't talk about it with anybody else.

(3) Think about how many people you've talked about it so far (are there any not mentioned right now? how much in total [mentioned+not-mentioned] are there?). How many of them were you seen talking about it?

(4) If the number is small, I guess you can deny saying anything or say that stories about you and them are exaggerated, like you've only said that you had dated (which is true and in school scenario, people know about it anyway). Try to frame everything else as hokum - someone says you said something about your sex life, so you smile in a sly way and say it must have been a part of your story about flying to the moon on a pirate galley, whatever.

(5) If the number is bigger or people have heard you talking about it (bystanders, I mean), then it might be more problematic, so posting a new thread about minimizing damage may be a good idea (undoing isn't possible, at least not 100% undoing).

(6) For the future reference: I'm not a specialist in sex-themed-messaging, so I won't give advice about it, but a precaution here - remember not to share details of your sex life with others on the Internet or via SMS or apps or whatnot. In my country the issue of false rape accusations is a negligible thing, but in other parts of the world it's an important issue, so you don't want to throw around you stuff about it. Flirting and sex talk when messaging with your gfs? OK. Writing lay reports without personal details? OK. But sending details about your sex life to peeps from your social circle isn't something you should do.

I don't want to scare you here or start some paranoia-ridden rant, but using precautions is important like using a condom. You send something to someone and you don't know who else will see it. Taking aside dangerous scenarios which aren't very much likely, let's say you write your female friend about your sex life - and she shows it her female friends (because it's what BFFs do, like you've written before, right?) and then all your being discreet is out of the window. Being known as a sex god because girls gossip about your love-making art is a good thing, being known as someone talking via SMS about their sex life is creepy.

(7) Take more sleep. The more you rest, the less likely you're to make mistakes like the one we're discussing.

(8) I know how it feels to make rookie mistakes in social arts, because in the past I've made my fair share of them (and to this day, I'm not the one to be called someone who doesn't make mistakes, because I still do - and in seduction areas, even more than before because know I'm way more active). Don't despair, just take a lesson... or two.

The second one is reframing your ideas: when you have an idea and it's not like "I'm going to approach her now and blablabla", but in a grander scale, like "what should I do with my current situation?", then give yourself time to think about it. Attack it from all possible angles so you find weak spots and make a new idea. Then repeat the process.

EXAMPLE:
In this case: Should I talk about this stuff?
First answer: yes.
Then thought attack and finding weak spots.
Weak spots found! (Like the ones I've mentioned before.)
OK, so what should I do?
I shouldn't talk about it.
New first answer: yes, I shouldn't talk about it.
Another thought attack.
New set of weak spots!
There is drama and harm here, so what can I do to undo it?
And so on, and so forth.

I approach my decisions in this way on a daily basis, it's been a habit for a long, long time - and it helps me get away from making mistakes in a greater scale quite often (not always, everyone makes a mistake sometimes no matter what). In a smaller scheme, like approaching, it doesn't work so well, but when you look at those smaller things in a bigger picture, you realize this: this small-scale approaching is a part of greater plan (getting better with girls), so I'm gonna do it and that's my answer for now - so then, when occasions arise, I know what to do.

- J.

 

[Troy]

Jaimie

It was a small group who I told and I haven't seen any negative side effects on my part mainly because the people I told can be trusted somewhat. And also I refused to let everyone know who I was talking about... To keep the girls reputation (and mine ) good.

I will definitely follow all your steps and not make this mistake again. Things like these are instant fixes and I rarely if ever do these petty quick fix mistakes twice. I will rewrite these tips in summary form to keep me from forgetting them.

Thanks bro!

Troy