Hey everyone!
It's been one year ago, since I tried to have my first lay with a girl.
It did not work, because I couldn't get it hard.
The girl dropped me after that, she told me stuff that it is because i'm not kind enough with her, etc. (but in the end she ended up with another guy, even though I tried to be more nice).
I was kind of depressed for a few weeks, but after that I could finally let her go (I have written about that a year ago, HERE).
After I cut her off and started doing things with my life, lots of things have changed positively:
- I finally have a hobby that I really really enjoy: Salsa and salsa parties
- I bought a new car
- I became much better at flirting with girls / asking them out / pulling numbers / building emotional connections
- I have a healthy lifestyle
- I finally live in my own flat (even though I rented it just a few weeks ago)
So I think it's kind of nice progress in a year, however the sad part is, I still couldn't manage to take another girl to bed.
Back in february I met with my ex at a party, and one thing led to another, so she ended up at my place.
I tried to have sex with her again, but couldn't get it hard this time neither.
However, she was still kind of enthusiastic about that night, and she wanted to see me again.
In the meantime, I was also dating 5 different girls, and felt a bit over-confident. Lots of things ran through my head, like: why the f?ck should I give in to her again. I'm too busy with these other girls now, etc.
She sensed this and then immediately grabbed an oppurtunity to sleep with a guy he liked for a long time.
Things turned around a bit (I didn't knew about her affair back then), and I started having feelings again towards her, but now she was having the best sex of her life with this other guy, but neither did she wanted to lose me again. She told me that she really likes what I have become, and I am much stronger man than before.
After a while she stopped seeing him, because it was leading nowhere, and we ended up together again.
The sad part is that the sex still did not work.
I tried to compensate it with good oral sex, fingering, and anything in my power. She does like that, but keeps complaining that she thinks I don't desire her, or I don't like her body and stuff like that - to be completely honest, I do understand what she is talking about.
A month has passed and she started seeing her ex again. They did not have sex (or at least this is what she told me). I started complaining a bit about the fact that I don't like that they are partying together. After that she almost blew up, and started throwing things like this at me:
- How can I be such a fool to think she is cheating on me?
- How can I be such a senseless pig? I never buy her a flower, never take her out, or tell her kind things.... she does have a point there, I was just focusing on my problem with my limp cock, and never tried to thank her somehow for having patience with me.
- How do I dare to tell her who she can meet?
- How can I be so childish?
etc.
Since then, all we do is argue, argue and argue. On the stupidest things on the world.
If I text her she doesn't always respond.
If I don't text her she starts to complain that I don't care about her.
I met her today, she told me that she wants much more attention than this, but later I convinced her to tell me that the sex is the thing that really bothers her. I tried to come up with ideas to solve the problem. She told me that she doesn't want to lose me, but I need to get this done, and she won't help me with it, and told me that I should shut up and be much more kind to her, because she accepts me with this issue.
To be honest, I feel kind of lost right now.
I know that I can try to be nice to her, but it won't help with anything. The only solution would be to make her practice, practice and practice with me until we get it done, but she doesn't want to do that. We went out today to see a basketball game, but she kept being cold.
On the other hand, I would love to go out and pick up girls, but I am very afraid that the anxiety would kick in even harder. I really feel like I should handle this with her somehow, but I don't know if it's a good choice to start buying flowers for her.
So it's a kind of fucked up situation.
Does anybody think it could be handled somehow? Or should I start looking for new options?
Thank You,
Steff
It's been one year ago, since I tried to have my first lay with a girl.
It did not work, because I couldn't get it hard.
The girl dropped me after that, she told me stuff that it is because i'm not kind enough with her, etc. (but in the end she ended up with another guy, even though I tried to be more nice).
I was kind of depressed for a few weeks, but after that I could finally let her go (I have written about that a year ago, HERE).
After I cut her off and started doing things with my life, lots of things have changed positively:
- I finally have a hobby that I really really enjoy: Salsa and salsa parties
- I bought a new car
- I became much better at flirting with girls / asking them out / pulling numbers / building emotional connections
- I have a healthy lifestyle
- I finally live in my own flat (even though I rented it just a few weeks ago)
So I think it's kind of nice progress in a year, however the sad part is, I still couldn't manage to take another girl to bed.
Back in february I met with my ex at a party, and one thing led to another, so she ended up at my place.
I tried to have sex with her again, but couldn't get it hard this time neither.
However, she was still kind of enthusiastic about that night, and she wanted to see me again.
In the meantime, I was also dating 5 different girls, and felt a bit over-confident. Lots of things ran through my head, like: why the f?ck should I give in to her again. I'm too busy with these other girls now, etc.
She sensed this and then immediately grabbed an oppurtunity to sleep with a guy he liked for a long time.
Things turned around a bit (I didn't knew about her affair back then), and I started having feelings again towards her, but now she was having the best sex of her life with this other guy, but neither did she wanted to lose me again. She told me that she really likes what I have become, and I am much stronger man than before.
After a while she stopped seeing him, because it was leading nowhere, and we ended up together again.
The sad part is that the sex still did not work.
I tried to compensate it with good oral sex, fingering, and anything in my power. She does like that, but keeps complaining that she thinks I don't desire her, or I don't like her body and stuff like that - to be completely honest, I do understand what she is talking about.
A month has passed and she started seeing her ex again. They did not have sex (or at least this is what she told me). I started complaining a bit about the fact that I don't like that they are partying together. After that she almost blew up, and started throwing things like this at me:
- How can I be such a fool to think she is cheating on me?
- How can I be such a senseless pig? I never buy her a flower, never take her out, or tell her kind things.... she does have a point there, I was just focusing on my problem with my limp cock, and never tried to thank her somehow for having patience with me.
- How do I dare to tell her who she can meet?
- How can I be so childish?
etc.
Since then, all we do is argue, argue and argue. On the stupidest things on the world.
If I text her she doesn't always respond.
If I don't text her she starts to complain that I don't care about her.
I met her today, she told me that she wants much more attention than this, but later I convinced her to tell me that the sex is the thing that really bothers her. I tried to come up with ideas to solve the problem. She told me that she doesn't want to lose me, but I need to get this done, and she won't help me with it, and told me that I should shut up and be much more kind to her, because she accepts me with this issue.
To be honest, I feel kind of lost right now.
I know that I can try to be nice to her, but it won't help with anything. The only solution would be to make her practice, practice and practice with me until we get it done, but she doesn't want to do that. We went out today to see a basketball game, but she kept being cold.
On the other hand, I would love to go out and pick up girls, but I am very afraid that the anxiety would kick in even harder. I really feel like I should handle this with her somehow, but I don't know if it's a good choice to start buying flowers for her.
So it's a kind of fucked up situation.
Does anybody think it could be handled somehow? Or should I start looking for new options?
Thank You,
Steff
