Gifatron's Journal of Joy

[gifatron]

Yay, new journal, given my old one was labelled newbie assignment.

In order to facilitate clear thinking after a nasty breakup, and get my general life priorities straight, I spent a few months not pursuing new women and paring down existing connections. In recent weeks, I have felt like I've had my shit in order enough to start meeting new women again.

Something kinda crazy to note about me is that I want to master the process.of getting together with womwn, but I really dont want to trash my pair bonding capabilities...So I often stop at having her isolating and making out with me. I know this isn't ideal, buf I'm not super keen on sexing up EVERY pretty girl out there. I'm a strange guy, I guess.

In the last, mmm, month or so, I've collected about 6 phone numbers from girls just for kicks, with no real intentions of following through. My existing connection is an ongoing FWB relationship with a girl I met before my hiatus. I see her 2-4 times a month, typically. I recently started really noticing attractive women again, and as a result, they seem to be noticing me. My first post will be a FR++ from last night.

 

[gifatron]

Worth noting: She basically did all of the work on this one. I wasn't really looking for it, but she was cute and intelligent and pretty fun to be around. It did really rekindle my desire to get out and get together with ladyfolk, though.

"Gotten together" in the sense that we got somewhat physically intimate (kissed, groped, cuddled, slept in the same bed), didn't have sex. I think she was on her period, but even barring that, I'm still trying to stay sort of chaste, at least for a little while, until I'm back on balance. (I'm going to need some luck to pull this off...)

Two days ago, a girl I had met in passing started making eyes at me and making subtle insinuations. She wanted to sit together, get different desserts and share them for the sake of variety, etc. Even offered to cover it for me when I realized the place was cash-only and didn't realize I did, in fact, bring cash with me.

We went back to my place, she mentioned she had to use a restroom, I told her she could use mine, we hung out for awhile (she didn't want to drink since she had to head home pretty soon), and then she went on her way. During this period she set up quite a few relationship/slow down frames -- "I like long, slow buildup before intimacy", "This guy said some inappropriate sexual stuff on the second date", etc.

I kind of tore those apart, not with any particular concern/intention to get together with her, more just because, well...they sound awful and wrong. I told her that the best relationships start with a tone and precedent of passion, that going to slow can turn it into something that isn't as good or powerful, etc. We shared with each other a few tidbits from our childhood challenges and adult triumphs and I sent her on her way.

The next day, I text her about carpooling to an event we were both planning on attending. Before too long, she asked, "What are you doing tonight?"

We met up in about an hour, had a couple of drinks -- I still wasn't too keen on pressing anything since she seemed firmly in the "relationship" camp, but on the other hand...I'm still me, still always scheming to make women fall all over me and get in some good smoochin' in, so I was flirtatious and friendly and touchy.

An hour or so and half a bottle of wine into that, I got up to do something, sat down, pulled her into my lap, and went for the kiss. I pulled back at the last second, and said, "I shouldn't." (I know, I know...I sound like a evil man, but read on)

She then backed off and said, "Oh...awkward. Awkward."

We exchanged words a bit, I verified that she knew that there was not even the possibility of a relationship, it just wasn't happening for a number of reasons. She confirmed that she understood this from the getgo, and I slowly pulled her back towards me and kissed her. We then spent the rest of the night cuddling, kissing, and just generally being all warm and fuzzy together.

Annnd I'm going to go to an event later that she occasionally attends and try to hook up with someone else that I'm more...avidly interested in. Should be interesting.

 

[gifatron]

FR
Despite being exhausted as hell yesterday, I went out and had some fun. I did meet the woman I was hoping to, but at some point fumbled it coming on too strong -- or so it seemed -- she started moving away when I was around about 75% of the time, and although she engaged me in conversation something seemed...off. She also got in the habit of saying she'd dance with me, getting distracted, and doing something else. So, I stopped asking.

However, I did meet someone else that night who was pretty cool and attractive. This girl was...interesting. Pretty tall, about 5'11, red hair, busty, fantastic hip to waist ratio. Bit of an attention seeker, but I'm pretty okay with that. She's also ambitious and works at a university in the sciences -- her particular area of research is one that I've always found interesting, so we managed to connect on that one. She was really excited to be talking to someone who understood her *and* could keep up with her on the dance floor. Anyway, towards the end of the night as everything was winding down, I approached her and asked if she'd like to get a drink some time. She gave me a 'Yes' without skipping a beat, and we proceeded to discover our schedules for the next week don't jive, so we're going to haggle a time out for next week in a few days.

 

[gifatron]

It occurs to me that an update may be in order.

Got in touch with the girl from a couple of weeks ago about meeting up this week, we settled on Tuesday at 7. She said she was looking forward to it, smiley faces, and all. She had great grammar and punctuation, and I appreciate that and find it sexy.

Have a 3 day weekend trip planned in which I'll be staying with the younger woman who started chasing me a couple of weeks ago. Mutually interesting event happening about 200 miles away.

Have a tentative date planned week after next with my FWB who has been away for the holidays.

3 is about the limit. I may just let the FWB in question drop off the map over the coming weeks, as it doesn't have the passion that it used to, and she is looking for something more serious which I've reiterated I can't give her anyway, so I may be doing her a favor.

 

[gifatron]

Well, it's been awhile, but I figure I should update.

Had my first date with the redhead from the other night. Connected well. Steadfastly refused to come to my apartment with me, although I did manage to divert it into coming to the rooftop of my apartment, which is fairly private, and made out with her, had her feeling me up, etc. However, it's the first first date that didn't end in my bed in some time, so I'm not sure how to take it. We're planning on meeting again some time in the next couple of weeks. Our schedules kinda suck, so I'm not devoting too much attention to it.

Met up with the younger woman who was dropping hints about wanting a boyfriend earlier, and who then proceeded to make out with me and so on. I made it pretty clear from the beginning I wasn't going to be her boyfriend. After that night, she tried to qualify herself a couple of times the next time we saw each other, which I completely ignored. She then asked if I wanted a ride home. Another guy who lives close to me (and I later learned is trying to get into her pants) was with us, and he offered to give me a ride home instead. I went ahead and took the ride from him, since it was along the way. So, I punished good behavior (her trying to get together with me). She then actually texted me and asked, "Do you want ME to drive you home?" and I shot her one back that said it was on the other guy's way, and I didn't want to keep her up.

We saw each other yet again, and this time she did end up giving me and someone who lives right next to me a lift to my place at the end of the night. It was an awkwardly funny situation...the other girl has a boyfriend but seems VERY interested in me. The girl giving us the ride insisted that she drop each of us off at our own front doors, and proceeded to drop the other girl off first, despite the fact that it was further out of the way. This girl hesitated when she realized I wasn't going to get off there, a mere 30 feet from the back door of my apartment building, but instead stayed in the car. Still, nothing overt was said. The girl I'd hooked up with was really trying to maximize plausible deniability. She then started asking me what I was doing afterwards and saying she was really tired and didn't want to drive home. She came up to my place, we started kissing/escalating there and talked.

Then shit got hilarious.

She said she was gay, wasn't interested in me, I was misinterpreting everything, etc etc. I laughed and told her I didn't believe her, but I also didn't really mind, that was fine, stopped kissing/touching her, and left her to her own side of the bed. She took on a bitchy overtone for the rest of the night and nothing else really happened.

Lesson learned? Reject women and rebuff their advances, make them not feel that they're valued, and they get pissed. I really need to be nicer to women who ask me if they want THEM to give me a ride home. Argh, oh well.

Finally, met someone new last night. Interesting woman, one who's done a bit of the whole world travel thing, found it really fascinating that I was doing the same. We talked about getting together, haven't worked out anything specific yet -- she invited me to something this Monday that sounds interesting, but it's right after 3 evenings packed back to back with fairly athletic activity for me, so I told her I'd let her know the night of if that was fine, and she confirmed that it was fine.

Lessons learned or reinforced for me in the interrum time:
1. I need to learn how to get past the guards of more experienced women who aren't totally won over, which is basically what happened in the case of the girl from the first paragraph here.
2. I need to learn to not punish good behavior, good being defined as anything that gets us closer together. After chase pointed this out in one of my FRs, I realize I've been doing it a lot. Attainability is DEFINITELY an issue I need to work on.
3. Ask on a high point. I'm getting a lot better at this. I have been arranging a date, on average, every other time I go out. I can do better. Next few times I go out, I'm going to make a point of asking more women when we're at a high point.

 

[gifatron]

Called up a friend I've had some sexual overtones with in the past last night, as I was feeling in need of some...company. We ate sushi, had a little wine, and proceeded to feel each other up. We've done this before a couple of times, but she always backed things off or said no when I tried to escalate.

She always did it with a big smile, though...and was clearly really enjoying herself.

Last night, I pushed a bit harder/was more persistent, and we finally got together. For hours.

I am exhausted. So very exhausted.

Also, Jesus Christ, she bit my arm and it hurt. It's bruised now.