- Joined
- Jul 15, 2014
- Messages
- 244
Went out to eat and drink with a friend, saw a girl sitting by herself.
A few minutes passed and she was still alone, so I decided to approach since she was quite attractive.
I asked if she was waiting for friends or drinking alone. It was the latter.
Then I asked "do you mind if I bother you for a few minutes?" showing her my half-empty glass.
I did that to make her feel comfortable that I wouldn't be a social burden, and to give her a way out in case she just wanted to be alone.
I was actually legit just trying to finish my drink, talk myself into sufficient sobriety until I could drive, then go sleep. I might've told her some version of that at some point. I wasn't feeling particularly social or aroused, so I'm pretty sure I was giving off a chill, friendly extrovert-at-the-bar vibe.
We ended up talking for about an hour or so. We were the same age and a lot of our values and whatnot matched up, so it was a pleasant and smooth conversation.
I pretty much went straight into deep diving and remained there, with some humor and sexuality sprinkled here and there.
At one point we were talking about strippers, and at another point she mentioned she has been in a long-term relationship with a "super white guy". Then I asked, "what do you mean 'super white'? Like this?" and I did the Nazi salute in the middle of the bar and the place went quiet for a second lol. But I'm Asian, so I get a pass lol.
I try to keep smalltalk minimal because I suck at it, and in my experience it seems that when I deep dive a little bit, I obtain more talking points I can blabber off on. I don't think I went too deep on any topic, but covered a good amount of ground, including politics and religion.
In my previous round of shenanigans, before my last long-term relationship, my goal of the interactions had been to get laid. Looking back, I think that had actually been counter-productive, primarily because dumbass overly-analytical me would always be trying to calculate the optimal thing to do and say in order to reach that uni-dimensional goal.
Now that I've grown a bit and have an idea of who I am and what I want, my goal of interactions now is something more like "Who are you? This is who I am and what I'm looking for. How do we align? I'm gonna do and say whatever I feel like and we'll see what happens."
The conversation eventually felt like it passed its peak, and I saw her fiddle with her empty bottle, so I asked if she wanted someone to drink with next time and exchanged numbers. She's in a relationship and her expression was pretty neutral for most of the conversation, so I'm not really expecting much, but we'll see what happens.
A few minutes passed and she was still alone, so I decided to approach since she was quite attractive.
I asked if she was waiting for friends or drinking alone. It was the latter.
Then I asked "do you mind if I bother you for a few minutes?" showing her my half-empty glass.
I did that to make her feel comfortable that I wouldn't be a social burden, and to give her a way out in case she just wanted to be alone.
I was actually legit just trying to finish my drink, talk myself into sufficient sobriety until I could drive, then go sleep. I might've told her some version of that at some point. I wasn't feeling particularly social or aroused, so I'm pretty sure I was giving off a chill, friendly extrovert-at-the-bar vibe.
We ended up talking for about an hour or so. We were the same age and a lot of our values and whatnot matched up, so it was a pleasant and smooth conversation.
I pretty much went straight into deep diving and remained there, with some humor and sexuality sprinkled here and there.
At one point we were talking about strippers, and at another point she mentioned she has been in a long-term relationship with a "super white guy". Then I asked, "what do you mean 'super white'? Like this?" and I did the Nazi salute in the middle of the bar and the place went quiet for a second lol. But I'm Asian, so I get a pass lol.
I try to keep smalltalk minimal because I suck at it, and in my experience it seems that when I deep dive a little bit, I obtain more talking points I can blabber off on. I don't think I went too deep on any topic, but covered a good amount of ground, including politics and religion.
In my previous round of shenanigans, before my last long-term relationship, my goal of the interactions had been to get laid. Looking back, I think that had actually been counter-productive, primarily because dumbass overly-analytical me would always be trying to calculate the optimal thing to do and say in order to reach that uni-dimensional goal.
Now that I've grown a bit and have an idea of who I am and what I want, my goal of interactions now is something more like "Who are you? This is who I am and what I'm looking for. How do we align? I'm gonna do and say whatever I feel like and we'll see what happens."
The conversation eventually felt like it passed its peak, and I saw her fiddle with her empty bottle, so I asked if she wanted someone to drink with next time and exchanged numbers. She's in a relationship and her expression was pretty neutral for most of the conversation, so I'm not really expecting much, but we'll see what happens.
