- Joined
- Dec 6, 2012
- Messages
- 1,459
I was out at a Brewery with my friend. I wasn't there to meet girls, but we were killing some time trying to figure out what to do that night. Our main plan, a party, was cancelled, so we were trying to coordinate between two friends to meet us and go to a club in downtown LA.
Anyway, while I am waiting I spy a girl drinking beer all by herself. She’s fairly cute, and I wait five minutes to see if she is with anyone. No one came to talk to her, and I don’t see any friends. I walk in her direction but pass her as she’s facing away perpendicular to my path of travel. I see that she has a Windows Phone, which is a rarity. I wait five seconds after passing her, turn around, and suddenly notice her phone. I approached from her 8 o’clock position by placing the back of my palm lightly on her shoulder while looking at her phone. When she noticed me and looked, my eyes met hers:
ME: “Oh, you have a window’s phone! I haven’t seen many people with those, what do you think of them?”
HER: <We are talking about what she likes in it for a little bit>
ME: “Well, actually, I came to talk to you because I have one of those as well.” <Continue talking about it>
She soon engages two people sitting next to us, and now we are a group of four. Luckily the other two were a couple and left about a minute later. I started to question what’s she’s drinking as well as her interest in beer. She clearly loves drinking, and loves this brewery. I happen to enjoy beer as well, so we start discussing the beer. This was a good leeway into learning more about her and her job: she seems to live a quiet, boring life, as she works quite hard in the hospitality industry but drinks freely in her spare time. It seems to be her hobby, drinking beer.
I think I built a really good rapport with this girl, as she seemed to be matching me in conversation and in my body language. We are talking deeply about her interest in drinking, and at some points I set up some interesting sexual frames. I asked about hobbies, and off hand she mentioned an interest in phallic things, and I brought that up over the course of our interaction. She’s probably in the closet about her craziness. I also discussed quite extensively her interest in travel, which she greatly enjoys, despite the fact that she has lived in one area her whole life. She tells me she is 24, and even though asks my age repeatedly I always deflect the question.
We move: she goes out to make a phone call while I use the restroom and get more beer. We switch places, and now are at a bar seating area. She meets my friends briefly, but we are still connecting over the beer. Significant moments:
HER: “I’m really glad you came and talked to me.”
ME: “Oh, really…why is that?”
HER: “I come her myself all the time and no one talks to me!”
ME: “Oh, yikes, but what do you think about this?” <motioning us>
HER: “I think you’re really cool. I like you as a friend. We should be friends. Don’t you think?”
ME: “Yeah, friends…maybe more, maybe less.”
<That last statement, a mistake on my part?>
Her body language was extremely, extremely positive during parts of this: we are both sitting on bar stools but her leg is crossed over the other, and the dominant knee/leg is pointing straight at me. This is a sign of high interest and engagement in a person. Over time, she
I tell her that she’s a really cool person, and I’d like to get to know her better. Then I ask her what her schedule is like. As I am only in town for one more day, she is busy before 12. This is not exactly conducive for a date. We trade numbers anyway, and then I ask her:
ME: “So…what are you doing later tonight?”
HER: “Tonight? No plans…”
ME: “Is that so? Well, do you like adventures?”
HER: “I am intrigued.”
I tell her that my friends and I are going out in downtown LA for a house music party. It turns out she likes house music. I tell her that she should come with us, it would be spontaneous and crazy. I used a yes latter multiple times:
ME: “I’m having a great time, and I think the night is too early to end, don’t you?”
HER: “Yes.”
ME: “And are you having a good time with me?”
HER: “Yes”
ME: “And you’re busy tomorrow and can’t hang out, right?”
HER: “Yes.”
ME: “So I think we should keep it going, and you should come out with us.”
HER: “Yeah, I kinda want to, but I don’t know.” <Thinks deeply, I can tell there’s some interest that she wants to go.”
ME: “Do you think I’m cool and fun?”
HER: “Yeah, I like you as a friend”
ME: “I like you too, I am glad you came to talk to me. So come out with us.”
This decision making process went on for quite some time. I’d estimate it took half an hour to fully convince her. She thought about it a lot and was always on the fence. Finally, she finally convinces herself to come with us, saying “Ok, I’ll do it!” excitedly. Now she is invested in this plan.
We head to her car and she’s driving. I tell her that we are going to downtown, which is about half an hour away and also that far from where she lives. Before we get on the highway I tell her I am hungry, and that we should get some food. I ask her if she has any food at her place we can go eat, and she says that she cannot have anyone over at her place because she lives with her family. Now what?
<In retrospect, I think maybe I got sidetracked here. My friend’s place was half an hour in the other direction. Could I potentially have said that I forgot something at his place, and convinced her to go there? And then made a move? Maybe that was the best way. Make the goal to watch a tv show rather than to go to a club.”>
In the car, I ask her what she thinks of me, and how I make her feel. She tells me that she thinks I am cool, she thinks we would be good friends and also says:
HER: “We are not having sex tonight, I don’t feel that way about you.”
I basically ignored this and didn’t acknowledge or agree with this. But I feel like it did rattle me a little bit. It was nice to hear that she had thought about it, but not in the way I liked.
In the car ride I start talking about her sensuality and experience. She opens up a lot more and faster than me, as I intentionally tried to tell her as little about me as possible. This didn’t work out too well, as eventually she got the idea that I don’t share anything about myself and just avoid all questions.
She also starts to go deeper into my relationship history:
HER: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
ME: “I’m in that in between period in my life where I don’t really know what I want. What about you? Any men of significance in your life?”
HER: “No, I’m single. But you didn’t answer my question!” <eventually she insinuates I must have a girlfriend that I don’t really care about right now>
She asks me about how many partners I have had; I asked her the same back, to which she replied 3, while I didn’t share anything back. I asked about them: what was the most significant and what did you like the most. She said she liked her last one, a guy that was just a quick fling with no feelings. She is saying that’s what she wants in her life right now.
Somewhere along the way I decided that I am going to push the limits on this one and take it as far as I can.
Now I was being quite aggressive at this time. Before we get out after parking we’re talking about kissing, sex, and what we like. She likes biting and hair pulling, so I grab her hair in the car and ask her, “you mean like this?” an act that actually backfired and made her pretty uncomfortable. She replied something like “yeah, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
We got out of the car and walk to this place. My friends still haven’t arrived, so now we’re hanging around outside and I keep talking to her, being touchy-feely. She doesn’t really reciprocate, but she’s conversing openly about her feelings. It’s funny…sometimes I had my arm around her, and she ducks and stays down to avoid it. All negative signals, I have quite the poor feeling but keep going with the process. At this point I think it’s more than clear she’s not really that interested.
We soon sat on the sidewalk, and I tried the hand clasping trick. I asked her to show me her hand, and she did. I remarked on her palms, then clasping my hand into hers. However, she did not reciprocate, and took her hand away soon after.
Around this time I think she had also made up her mind that she’s not going to stick around for this club. I try to maneuver her into a massage, and she’s highly resistant and her body language is getting more and more closed off. Manhandling her into a kiss did not work.
ME: “I’ll have a great night regardless of whether you’re here or not.”
HER: “So you’re saying that you don’t want me to stick around with you.”
ME: “I didn’t say that. I think we are having a great time and I hope you stay. But it’s up to you.”
I saw my friends now waiting in line, so we go to join them. Eventually I went into blow out mode: I told her that I’ll have a great night regardless of whether she’s there or not, but the difference would be for her, that if she stayed she’d have a fun night out as well, rather than a quiet night home. She opted for the latter and we parted ways with her walking to her car and me in line with my two friends.
That night I got four other phone numbers, but have not heard back from any.
I felt pretty disappointed after this one. It seemed in reach, especially considering I got her to invest in taking me thirty minutes away. Was the problem primarily rooted in the logistics? Did I push too hard and aggressively? Should I have moved on her instead of following through with the plan to go clubbing?
On the flipside, I was hesitant initially to talk to this type of girl, and instead found someone I really connected with.
Anyway, while I am waiting I spy a girl drinking beer all by herself. She’s fairly cute, and I wait five minutes to see if she is with anyone. No one came to talk to her, and I don’t see any friends. I walk in her direction but pass her as she’s facing away perpendicular to my path of travel. I see that she has a Windows Phone, which is a rarity. I wait five seconds after passing her, turn around, and suddenly notice her phone. I approached from her 8 o’clock position by placing the back of my palm lightly on her shoulder while looking at her phone. When she noticed me and looked, my eyes met hers:
ME: “Oh, you have a window’s phone! I haven’t seen many people with those, what do you think of them?”
HER: <We are talking about what she likes in it for a little bit>
ME: “Well, actually, I came to talk to you because I have one of those as well.” <Continue talking about it>
She soon engages two people sitting next to us, and now we are a group of four. Luckily the other two were a couple and left about a minute later. I started to question what’s she’s drinking as well as her interest in beer. She clearly loves drinking, and loves this brewery. I happen to enjoy beer as well, so we start discussing the beer. This was a good leeway into learning more about her and her job: she seems to live a quiet, boring life, as she works quite hard in the hospitality industry but drinks freely in her spare time. It seems to be her hobby, drinking beer.
I think I built a really good rapport with this girl, as she seemed to be matching me in conversation and in my body language. We are talking deeply about her interest in drinking, and at some points I set up some interesting sexual frames. I asked about hobbies, and off hand she mentioned an interest in phallic things, and I brought that up over the course of our interaction. She’s probably in the closet about her craziness. I also discussed quite extensively her interest in travel, which she greatly enjoys, despite the fact that she has lived in one area her whole life. She tells me she is 24, and even though asks my age repeatedly I always deflect the question.
We move: she goes out to make a phone call while I use the restroom and get more beer. We switch places, and now are at a bar seating area. She meets my friends briefly, but we are still connecting over the beer. Significant moments:
HER: “I’m really glad you came and talked to me.”
ME: “Oh, really…why is that?”
HER: “I come her myself all the time and no one talks to me!”
ME: “Oh, yikes, but what do you think about this?” <motioning us>
HER: “I think you’re really cool. I like you as a friend. We should be friends. Don’t you think?”
ME: “Yeah, friends…maybe more, maybe less.”
<That last statement, a mistake on my part?>
Her body language was extremely, extremely positive during parts of this: we are both sitting on bar stools but her leg is crossed over the other, and the dominant knee/leg is pointing straight at me. This is a sign of high interest and engagement in a person. Over time, she
I tell her that she’s a really cool person, and I’d like to get to know her better. Then I ask her what her schedule is like. As I am only in town for one more day, she is busy before 12. This is not exactly conducive for a date. We trade numbers anyway, and then I ask her:
ME: “So…what are you doing later tonight?”
HER: “Tonight? No plans…”
ME: “Is that so? Well, do you like adventures?”
HER: “I am intrigued.”
I tell her that my friends and I are going out in downtown LA for a house music party. It turns out she likes house music. I tell her that she should come with us, it would be spontaneous and crazy. I used a yes latter multiple times:
ME: “I’m having a great time, and I think the night is too early to end, don’t you?”
HER: “Yes.”
ME: “And are you having a good time with me?”
HER: “Yes”
ME: “And you’re busy tomorrow and can’t hang out, right?”
HER: “Yes.”
ME: “So I think we should keep it going, and you should come out with us.”
HER: “Yeah, I kinda want to, but I don’t know.” <Thinks deeply, I can tell there’s some interest that she wants to go.”
ME: “Do you think I’m cool and fun?”
HER: “Yeah, I like you as a friend”
ME: “I like you too, I am glad you came to talk to me. So come out with us.”
This decision making process went on for quite some time. I’d estimate it took half an hour to fully convince her. She thought about it a lot and was always on the fence. Finally, she finally convinces herself to come with us, saying “Ok, I’ll do it!” excitedly. Now she is invested in this plan.
We head to her car and she’s driving. I tell her that we are going to downtown, which is about half an hour away and also that far from where she lives. Before we get on the highway I tell her I am hungry, and that we should get some food. I ask her if she has any food at her place we can go eat, and she says that she cannot have anyone over at her place because she lives with her family. Now what?
<In retrospect, I think maybe I got sidetracked here. My friend’s place was half an hour in the other direction. Could I potentially have said that I forgot something at his place, and convinced her to go there? And then made a move? Maybe that was the best way. Make the goal to watch a tv show rather than to go to a club.”>
In the car, I ask her what she thinks of me, and how I make her feel. She tells me that she thinks I am cool, she thinks we would be good friends and also says:
HER: “We are not having sex tonight, I don’t feel that way about you.”
I basically ignored this and didn’t acknowledge or agree with this. But I feel like it did rattle me a little bit. It was nice to hear that she had thought about it, but not in the way I liked.
In the car ride I start talking about her sensuality and experience. She opens up a lot more and faster than me, as I intentionally tried to tell her as little about me as possible. This didn’t work out too well, as eventually she got the idea that I don’t share anything about myself and just avoid all questions.
She also starts to go deeper into my relationship history:
HER: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
ME: “I’m in that in between period in my life where I don’t really know what I want. What about you? Any men of significance in your life?”
HER: “No, I’m single. But you didn’t answer my question!” <eventually she insinuates I must have a girlfriend that I don’t really care about right now>
She asks me about how many partners I have had; I asked her the same back, to which she replied 3, while I didn’t share anything back. I asked about them: what was the most significant and what did you like the most. She said she liked her last one, a guy that was just a quick fling with no feelings. She is saying that’s what she wants in her life right now.
Somewhere along the way I decided that I am going to push the limits on this one and take it as far as I can.
Now I was being quite aggressive at this time. Before we get out after parking we’re talking about kissing, sex, and what we like. She likes biting and hair pulling, so I grab her hair in the car and ask her, “you mean like this?” an act that actually backfired and made her pretty uncomfortable. She replied something like “yeah, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
We got out of the car and walk to this place. My friends still haven’t arrived, so now we’re hanging around outside and I keep talking to her, being touchy-feely. She doesn’t really reciprocate, but she’s conversing openly about her feelings. It’s funny…sometimes I had my arm around her, and she ducks and stays down to avoid it. All negative signals, I have quite the poor feeling but keep going with the process. At this point I think it’s more than clear she’s not really that interested.
We soon sat on the sidewalk, and I tried the hand clasping trick. I asked her to show me her hand, and she did. I remarked on her palms, then clasping my hand into hers. However, she did not reciprocate, and took her hand away soon after.
Around this time I think she had also made up her mind that she’s not going to stick around for this club. I try to maneuver her into a massage, and she’s highly resistant and her body language is getting more and more closed off. Manhandling her into a kiss did not work.
ME: “I’ll have a great night regardless of whether you’re here or not.”
HER: “So you’re saying that you don’t want me to stick around with you.”
ME: “I didn’t say that. I think we are having a great time and I hope you stay. But it’s up to you.”
I saw my friends now waiting in line, so we go to join them. Eventually I went into blow out mode: I told her that I’ll have a great night regardless of whether she’s there or not, but the difference would be for her, that if she stayed she’d have a fun night out as well, rather than a quiet night home. She opted for the latter and we parted ways with her walking to her car and me in line with my two friends.
That night I got four other phone numbers, but have not heard back from any.
I felt pretty disappointed after this one. It seemed in reach, especially considering I got her to invest in taking me thirty minutes away. Was the problem primarily rooted in the logistics? Did I push too hard and aggressively? Should I have moved on her instead of following through with the plan to go clubbing?
On the flipside, I was hesitant initially to talk to this type of girl, and instead found someone I really connected with.
