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FR  Girl at Residence Caf, approached her and got her number.

turquoise_prophet

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 14, 2016
Messages
21
Hey guys, I’ve been away for awhile…

After my previous post on GC, I was swamped with exams and a lot of coursework. But throughout it all, I felt dissatisfied with the state I was in, not just with women but with life in general. I’d procrastinated too much, never really killed it at the gym, never pushed past the obstacles that would show up in my courses and just kinda phoned it in and was passing by. I’d still had an above average grade, but grades are only that and I never felt like I’d learned anything that had resulted in significant progress.

Deep down myself I knew that there was something missing, some ingredient that I just needed that would form the core of my character that was absolutely essential for me to not just find but master, for me to achieve the things in life that would make me truly happy, whether that be with women, projects, or just fitness. I lacked the competitive spirit.

So I “retreated to the jungle”, secluded myself from friends and distractions as much as I could. I wanted to achieve two things: 1) Become a man who understands the value of time → this means moving fast with endeavours. being decisive and cutting contact with toxic people (the people who would waste my time) 2) Become a competitor with the killer instinct of a tiger → basically outlined in http://strengthbysonny.com/2014/06/10/t ... he-answer/

Anyways, on to the FR:

Started the day on a great, great note. Woke up early and reviewed for a course in advance, then went to the gym and had a great workout after 2 weeks’ break. My last few sets I was absolutely spent, but I remembered my goals for this semester and I pushed through and completed my workout as planned successfully. Huge confidence boost.

So I go back to my residence and freshen up and then head down to the caf for a huge ass breakfast. I’m devouring eggs and potatotes and tomatoes and enjoying the winter sun when this beautiful girl, brunette hair tied up in a bun and in a cute pink dress, sits straight ahead of me a couple of tables away. I have a pang of anxiety and start looking for excuses, but I remember my oath to myself and I plan to wait a bit till she gets up from her table and I’ll go say hi. But right at that moment as I am thinking what to say to her, a friend/acquaintance of mine joins me and starts talking to me. Damn it!

I’m listening to my friend distractedly, my mind’s locked into the stunning beauty sitting in front of me. She’s listening to music and is on her phone. I try to get some eye contact, and I start glancing at her intensely (I’m visualising kissing her passionately, so I’m pretty sure I have a sexy smile on too), she looks at me one time and smiles a bit but goes back to her music/phone. My friend meanwhile is talking to me, I have a class soon and I had a tough workout this morning BUT I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS CHANCE GO, I ABSOLUTELY NEED TO WIN AND WALK OVER AND approach her. I just knew that if I failed, the thought of me not rising up to a challenge will forever be ingrained in my mind and would limit my self belief.

I tell my friend I'll be back, then I get up and I walk over to her (at this moment, I'm visualising the scene in Vicky Christina Barcelona when the guy walks over to the two girls and introduces himself, but with me as the guy instead), I'm walking slowly, confidently and swaying my shoulders a bit so I think I got my walking fundamentals handled. I go up over to her and then lean up close to her

turquoise: (Smiles) Hi, what’s your name?

girl: (smiles back) D!

turquoise: Bullshit, no one’s named just D! (read this on one of Hector’s posts, haha)

D: well haha, I’m called D, my name’s ****, I’ve been called D since I was little

turquoise: I saw you from over there (pointing to my table), and I really like your style a lot, I wanted to say hi! My name's turquoise.

After that we make a bit of small talk, I ask her what she's upto and she's asking me what year I'm in etc, again I don't let her know too much about me, I'm gazing in her eyes the whole time and then I break her off and ask, "Are you single?" (In a slightly flat tone, that was a bit bad) and look at her intensely the whole time. She says (a bit matter-of-fact, a bit thoughtfully) "No, I have a boyfriend". I don't reply but hold my gaze (I've found previously that even if they're giving you the polite cold shoulder, it's better to hold your frame as an intense, probing man) and then she explains "I've a boyfriend back home, it's long distance"

I reply " Well that's not very fun, is it?" (Here, my voice tone is good, - it's slow, got a bit of purr and good intonation, think Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. But I swallow my words a wee bit, argh. Also I notice I'm a bit nervous and my cheek's kinda twitching a bit, fucking hell, and I break eye contact (to the side, but still)) she lets out a little laugh.

A bit of an awkward silence there, but I wanna push this further otherwise I won't be able to take this anywhere.

turqouise: "Hey, D I'm doing this thing with my friends this weekend, a party, do u wanna join" and she says sure, what are you thinking of and I'm just like "It's not yet 100% final but let's do this, gimme your number and if it's gonna go down I'll just tell you the deets". We exchange numbers, and while we're doing so I just make small talk again (I found out she’s into fitness, so am I so I try to bond over it a bit, ask her which gym she goes to, the gym on campus I go to is like 5 min from the ones she goes to and she says it's too far to which I just play with her and say "for a girl so into fitness, you don't wanna go 5 min extra ;) " and she laughs and she's warming to me a bit.

There's not really much more I saw myself doing, and I had class soon and so did she so I took her hand (here, I let it linger a bit, and actually I had a wild crazy thought of kissing her hand but I was like nah that’s weird man, so I let my hand slide), then told her I’d see her around (in a cool, soft and reasonably deep voice) and walk back to my friends.

Sent her a text soon after (“Hey (her full first name), it’s turquoise, it was great meeting you ☺) and got a reply soon ( Call me D ;), it was nice to meet you too ☺).

Here are my thoughts on the approach:

PROS:

1) Competitive Spirit – The will to approach (I’ve never approached in this situation before), pushing the interaction forward after the silence.

2) Good eye contact for the most part – I wanted to have a vibe of an intense, sexy man (even though I’m not fully there yet) who really desired her completely. I don’t think I fully achieved it, but I just need to practice approaching with this mindset more.

3) Questioning her when she said her short name initially – it just put her out of autopilot I think.

UNSURE:

1) Breaking her off and ask her if she’s single – I think this is good. Any suggestions?

2) “Well that’s not very fun then is it” – I think the intention was good, after the bit about the boyfriend and her being in a long distance relationship I wanted to be explicity perceived as “lover” and not “substitute boyfriend” so I said this. But I think the execution was kind of poor – overall it felt like a line I’d rehearsed, even though it was very spontaneous, but I was quite nervous bc. this was a new thing I wanted to try and to really get a lover/sexual vibe going on in my conversations with girls I approached. How do you handle such situations better?

BAD:

1) Nerves – so the bottom line is my fundamentals are not battle hardened yet, they crack under nerves and pressure which is why I occasionally wilted. It definitely weakened my approach but well I won’t become battle hardened if I don’t subject myself to such trials

2) Pre-opening : I still need to figure out how to get her to “notice me first” before I approach her. It’s definitely fundamentals but also I think she should be down/looking for a hook-up, and not immersed in her business.

3) Voice: kind of related to point 1. I’ve improved my voice from a high pitched pity to quite deep, controlled and I can add a bit of purr when I want to, in ordinary conditions and when talking to girls in a group etc. But when I’m nervous or I’m in the moment (say doing sports), my voice reverts and I just have this unsure, unconfident vibe that really kills me. What do you guys recommend I do so that my voice holds up all the time?

Overall Thoughts:

I’m very happy with this approach, it was just something I had to do. I’m not too bothered by fundamentals bc taking action is my focus and during an approach is where I really need to hone my fundamentals anyway. I have class in 5 min so I gotta rush, but pls tell me what u guys think and what my quick fixes and more long-term fixes are. Thanks!
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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