Girl changes from normal -> little child

[TheWiseFool]

I was talking to this girl today and at first she was normal. Standard conversation of feeling each other out, but then she started acting like my little sister. Saying things like, "Can I touch you?" or giggling like a little child and talking about youtube videos... I wasn't rude or anything, but I wasn't trying to encourage her behavior either. It seemed to me that the more I tried to ignore the behavior and not encourage it the more I felt like I was encouraging her to act that way.... eventually I just got fed up and said my goodbyes.

If this is something most girls do where they just melt into little children, I guess I either need to get over my complaints or I need to meet girls who are much older than I am cos I don't want a little child hanging around me, I want a woman lol.

Has anyone experienced this and how do you handle this?

 

[Casanovelis]

How old is she?

It is probably just a part of her personality that she didn't show until she got comfortable around you.

I wouldn't handle it. Hard to change an intrinsic personality trait.

 

[Oskar]

I usually interpret this as a sign that I can move the interaction forward ASAP and as an invitation to be more physical. A literal push-pull can jostle a girl back into her wits here. I'll say something like "Gah, you're worse than my little sister!" in a jokingly offended way and not all too roughly push them away from me, and then they'll usually respond and start chasing harder, which might get them out of a "too silly/unfocused/group-think" mode and more into an "it's on" mode. Some girls love this, others find it a bit much, so I don't always do it.

Personally, I enjoy it when (some) girls act like this (even though it can be a bit annoying), as it makes the seduction a piece of cake, as they're just brimming with complaint energy. I just adopt the mindset of "Well, if you're going to act like a little girl that's how I'm going to treat you." and just act even more dominant (yet still playful) than usual. And if they don't comply, you know they're just in social butterfly mode, and that you should just move on.

I think this happens more with girls who aren't used to being around dominant men who they're attracted to, so yeah, older women (or, more generally, non-Western women) would be a safer bet for you if you want to avoid this. Though of course, all girls are silly and cute. All women on the other hand... well, that might be less the case.

-Oskar

 

[Casanovelis]

I usually interpret this as a sign that I can move the interaction forward ASAP and as an invitation to be more physical. A literal push-pull can jostle a girl back into her wits here. I'll say something like "Gah, you're worse than my little sister!" in a jokingly offended way and not all too roughly push them away from me, and then they'll usually respond and start chasing harder, which might get them out of a "too silly/unfocused/group-think" mode and more into an "it's on" mode. Some girls love this, others find it a bit much, so I don't always do it.

Personally, I enjoy it when (some) girls act like this (even though it can be a bit annoying), as it makes the seduction a piece of cake, as they're just brimming with complaint energy. I just adopt the mindset of "Well, if you're going to act like a little girl that's how I'm going to treat you." and just act even more dominant (yet still playful) than usual. And if they don't comply, you know they're just in social butterfly mode, and that you should just move on.

I think this happens more with girls who aren't used to being around dominant men who they're attracted to, so yeah, older women (or, more generally, non-Western women) would be a safer bet for you if you want to avoid this. Though of course, all girls are silly and cute. All women on the other hand... well, that might be less the case.

-Oskar

Yea there is definitely a line between playful/cute childish acting and annoying.

 

[Oskar]

Yea there is definitely a line between playful/cute childish acting and annoying.

Absolutely.

-Oskar

 

[TheWiseFool]

Oksar,

I was definitely aware of her interest haha. Thinking over the interaction some more, it seemed to me that she was inexperienced due to her inability to damper down her interest (side note: I tend to get turned off when girls melt down and are "trying hard" to impress me. It's that mentality of I want what I can't have, probably cos I was told no so much when I was a kid haha) I guess nitpickiness and judgement won over the purpose of why I was talking to her. Based on my response, just more reframes as usual.

I'll say something like "Gah, you're worse than my little sister!" in a jokingly offended way and not all too roughly push them away from me, and then they'll usually respond and start chasing harder, which might get them out of a "too silly/unfocused/group-think" mode and more into an "it's on" mode.

I do like this. Usually ignoring something and dismissing the person works, but this girl wasn't picking up on it so verbal conditioning should have been used, as you said reframing her through light teasing. Hopefully I remember this next time something similar comes around. I literally just stopped paying attention to her and my responses dropped to hmms and okays and my demeanor became literally bored but she wasn't picking up on it or that she was talking more because she was trying to qualify herself to me thinking that if she talks more maybe I'll become more interested. The latter is my reasoning for encouraging her behavior.

Personally, I enjoy it when (some) girls act like this (even though it can be a bit annoying), as it makes the seduction a piece of cake, as they're just brimming with complaint energy.

Ah man, I don't want it to be too easy! I wanted to be challenged, that I am working for my reward because I'll appreciate it more when I get it.
Example: Who appreciates getting an A on a test more? The person who puts in minimal effort to get A's on exams or the person who has to really work for the same reward, an A on an exam? I'd say the latter because the person who got the A invested so much more into getting the reward vs the former who pretty much just had to come to class and write whatever he/she though was correct because they just get the material. However, if you like that girls make it easy for you, I totally respect that and think that's cool. To each his own

Thanks for the reply guys.

Learned that:
1. Something may be wrong with my thought process aka I need to reframe more pre-existing mental models
2. I should talk to women older than myself because they are generally more mature compared to their younger colleagues

 

[Oskar]

Personally, I enjoy it when (some) girls act like this (even though it can be a bit annoying), as it makes the seduction a piece of cake, as they're just brimming with complaint energy.

Ah man, I don't want it to be too easy! I wanted to be challenged, that I am working for my reward because I'll appreciate it more when I get it.
Example: Who appreciates getting an A on a test more? The person who puts in minimal effort to get A's on exams or the person who has to really work for the same reward, an A on an exam? I'd say the latter because the person who got the A invested so much more into getting the reward vs the former who pretty much just had to come to class and write whatever he/she though was correct because they just get the material. However, if you like that girls make it easy for you, I totally respect that and think that's cool. To each his own

Thanks for the reply guys.

Learned that:
1. Something may be wrong with my thought process aka I need to reframe more pre-existing mental models
2. I should talk to women older than myself because they are generally more mature compared to their younger colleagues

I feel the same way. However, I don't want to work super hard on EVERY seduction. That's why I said "some". Variety is what I'm after -- otherwise, things just get too predictable

Do you think it could have something to do with the level dominance you were conveying in that situation? That's usually at the core when this happens to me.

-Oskar