Girl didnt want sex at my dorm because she said it was run down, any thoughts?

[perpetualsun]

Hey everyone, was wondering if anyone had any insight on what to do in my scenario involving some girl who ended up complaining about my living conditions. Long story short, I met a girl on Tinder and went on a first date which went well. Didn't escalate to anything because I was crushed with school work (currently in graduate school). Then yesterday, went on a second date with her. Things were going well and after having a couple of drinks I invited her to my graduate dorm. Before hand, she was really touchy and flirty, but after she went into my room, she started to seem to have second doubts about doing anything. She then started to complain that she didn't want to "do it" in my dorm because it was too "freshman-like". Afterwards, she said she needed to go home and then called an uber and left. I pretended it was completely cool but ended up feeling pretty insulted by what she said. At this point, do you guys think that her complaints about my dorm were just an excuse because she freaked-out and had second doubts or was she really looking down on me for living in a dorm? Prior she had adamantly insisted on sharing the bill for dinner so at first I thought she might not be the gold digger type to only want to date guys with expensive things. But now, I'm not even sure how to construct a text for a third date and if I should even pursue it. Anyone have any ideas about if I should text her back and what I should text back with? Thanks!

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Re: Girl didnt want sex at my dorm because she said it was run down, any thought

Perpetual

Give us some details of the conversation in the dorm. It sound like the room is not the reason. We need more details to evaluate.

BDSC

 

[perpetualsun]

Re: Girl didnt want sex at my dorm because she said it was run down, any thought

The conversation went normal for the post part. However, she and I had a little too much to drink and so she may have had the impression I was drink. I tried to have her sit on the bed, she seemed hesitant, then when i finally got her there I moved in for a kiss, to which she reciprocated for about 30 seconds before she started to resist. For the most part, I was sitting on the bed while she was standing up. She then started to say that she didn't want to "do it" in a dorm, and kept complaining over and over about the room. Later when she left she seemed to have a 180 degree change of her mood, from really enthusiastic to sullen.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: Girl didnt want sex at my dorm because she said it was run down, any thought

PerpetualSun,

do you guys think that her complaints about my dorm were just an excuse because she freaked-out and had second doubts

There could be several reasons why this happened:

Firstly, but not likely, is that your dorm room was actually too dirty for her to relax in. If you're not a hoarder with food and junk all over your lair, then I wouldn't worry about this.

I tried to have her sit on the bed, she seemed hesitant, then when i finally got her there I moved in for a kiss, to which she reciprocated for about 30 seconds before she started to resist.

The most likely reason is a clumsy escalation. Give her a reason to sit/lie on your bed other than to have sex. Put on a movie, let her get comfortable with you being close and touching her, if she resists when you escalate, go back to watching the movie. Rinse and repeat.

The way you did it, left her with two choices, have sex right now or leave. She wasn't quite ready yet, so she chose to leave.

The third and final reason this could have happened was because she was Provider hunting and your Tinder profile and the dates you took her on coincided with that of a Provider. If your profile makes it seem like you have money, you will attract girls looking for Providers. If you take her on elaborate/expensive dates she will think you are a Provider. If she thinks you have money, when she gets back to your ghetto pad, she will be looking for the exits immediately because you're not the kind of Provider she assumed you to be.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Re: Girl didnt want sex at my dorm because she said it was run down, any thought

It's really never the location, it's always the vibe/game. I've hooked up with girls in the most disgusting environments you can imagine.

If she was as giddy as you say she was, as soon as you enter the room, you should grab her by the hips and pull her in for a kiss. Lift her up and if she responds well, throw her on the bed and make a mess.

- Hector

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Re: Girl didnt want sex at my dorm because she said it was run down, any thought

PerpetualSun,

So your not confused Anataman and ProblemSolvings responses seem to conflict but they don't. ProblemSolving stated you probably had clumsy escalation. Anatman is telling you how to escalate. I know it sounds stupid to guys but women are always concerned about being a slut. Each girl has what they consider being a slut. Going right to the bed without making out could have been one of her slut factors. I dated a girl who would have sex anywhere, I mean anywhere, except in a hotel room. "Girls who have sex in hotel rooms are prostitutes.". To me it was crazy but to her it was ingrained by her family and religion. That is why it is important to back off when you get resistance and try a different angle. You have to figure out how to get around her walls.

BDSC