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Girl expects me texting back?

KollegahDerBoss

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
28
Hey,
basically I got into a relationship and noticed that the girl I'm with is texting me every hour of the day.

I mostly don't have time for texting, but since I was texting with her before we even got together, she is expecting it from me.
Yes, I read the article where it said you shouldn't get in that habit, but I must say I'm very good in texting that's why I manage to do some cool stuff with it.

However, the problem is: She is constantly texting me, waiting for a response, and getting mad when I don't answer....what should I do?

P.S. I can't delete the texting app because I also use it for business purposes.
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
KollegahDerBoss,

It sounds to me like you've already diagnosed your own problem (that you were texting her a lot when you first got together, and now she's expecting to to text at the same rate and getting upset when you don't do so). This is a tough one to solve, and the best advice is "don't do it again next time."

With your current situation, it's probably best you have a talk with her and explain that you have a lot of work to do and can't be texting her this often. You can tell her that, when you two first started getting together, you actually started falling behind in a lot of your work just to make time to chat with her, but you can't keep doing that for the sake of your own career/job. Let her know that it isn't because you don't want to talk to her, but it's because you simply have very important things that need to get done. Tell her you'll definitely get back to her each day when you actually have the time to do so.

If she fights this, you need to be calm and hold your stance. Be stern if necessary. If she really keeps pushing the nail in on this one, then it could eventually come down to you having to say something like, "look, I've told you multiple times that I'm too busy to text this much. If this is becoming such a serious issue, then maybe we just shouldn't be together. You obviously need a guy who can text you every single hour of the day, and I can't be that guy. If you feel like this texting thing is so damn important, then maybe we should stop this now before the resentment gets worse."

Then let her respond from there. My guess is that the threatening of you ending the relationship over something (that should be) so small will cause her to take a step back and beg not to end the relationship. This will give you much more leverage over the situation, and you can call her out if she ever starts getting upset at you again (with her keeping in mind that you almost ended the relationship over it). But again, only go THIS far if the initial talk doesn't get the message across to her that you don't have the time to be texting as that much.

- Franco
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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