Hi all,
I have been reading Chase's book and the articles on the blog. Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that the guy being able to get things moving fast...dealing with LMR efficiently...ask the 8 questions to see what a girl wants and deep dive quickly...
All these takes precedence over making the girl feel safe with you?
I thought I understand the point of, if a girl feels safe with you, you're pushed out of the lover zone and into friend/boyfriend zone. But today a girl I went out with, checked out a few hotel rooms and asking her to stay for the night, told me she did not feel safe with me.
I was dealing with the LMRs like she did not bring extra set of clothes...she don't want to get physical...she is not easy...she understands that I'm okay with casual sex but she's not...but the ultimate groin strike was saying that she's not feeling safe with me.
Once she said that, I retreated and stopped, even though she was saying she don't mind staying in a another hotel. I closed the session saying I didn't like the color of the room on the brochure and said maybe next time.
I couldn't bring myself to "lie" further saying we may just be watching the TV in the room.
To give a little more background, I have been out with her for 4 dates, and today I kind of get the same vibe as previous dates that she's not physically comfortable with me.
Not comfortable with walking side by side with me, ended up walking infront of her. Yeah, I could not hold her hand.
Told me I don't have to do that nugging when we are crossing roads (was trying as part of the physical escalation process)
But we were able to chat...sat close to me while we were checking out the hotel brochures...share with me on a previous date, albeit briefly, that chocolates makes girls horny, she watches pron...kinky moments when she stayed in hotels with her ex where the toilets are not covered...
So...does feeling safe part of the process?
Or is it not even relevant when speed, escalation windows, overcoming LMR and physical escalation is the main focus?
I am moving on from this girl, but I have to practice alot more and want to clarify on what I screwed up on before I move on.
Thanks in advance.
I have been reading Chase's book and the articles on the blog. Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that the guy being able to get things moving fast...dealing with LMR efficiently...ask the 8 questions to see what a girl wants and deep dive quickly...
All these takes precedence over making the girl feel safe with you?
I thought I understand the point of, if a girl feels safe with you, you're pushed out of the lover zone and into friend/boyfriend zone. But today a girl I went out with, checked out a few hotel rooms and asking her to stay for the night, told me she did not feel safe with me.
I was dealing with the LMRs like she did not bring extra set of clothes...she don't want to get physical...she is not easy...she understands that I'm okay with casual sex but she's not...but the ultimate groin strike was saying that she's not feeling safe with me.
Once she said that, I retreated and stopped, even though she was saying she don't mind staying in a another hotel. I closed the session saying I didn't like the color of the room on the brochure and said maybe next time.
I couldn't bring myself to "lie" further saying we may just be watching the TV in the room.
To give a little more background, I have been out with her for 4 dates, and today I kind of get the same vibe as previous dates that she's not physically comfortable with me.
Not comfortable with walking side by side with me, ended up walking infront of her. Yeah, I could not hold her hand.
Told me I don't have to do that nugging when we are crossing roads (was trying as part of the physical escalation process)
But we were able to chat...sat close to me while we were checking out the hotel brochures...share with me on a previous date, albeit briefly, that chocolates makes girls horny, she watches pron...kinky moments when she stayed in hotels with her ex where the toilets are not covered...
So...does feeling safe part of the process?
Or is it not even relevant when speed, escalation windows, overcoming LMR and physical escalation is the main focus?
I am moving on from this girl, but I have to practice alot more and want to clarify on what I screwed up on before I move on.
Thanks in advance.
