Girl flakes in a most insulting fashion -- what would you do?

[perpetualsun]

I recently met some girl on Tinder -- I was going back and forth in trying to meet her, and agreed to meet her today. Well, 30 minutes before meeting she texts:

"Hi, Sorry its not working out today at 11:30 I guess next time.... Have a nice day!"

From this text, it seems like she obviously doesn't really give a crap about meeting -- would you guys even try to respond just for experience or just completely drop it and ignore? Thanks!

 

[Estate]

Delete her number and on to the next.

Don't even give her the satisfaction of knowing you care. Only feeding her ego.

As you go through life meeting people you'll come across girls who do all sorts. To be honest, what she said wasn't terribly bad considering some things you'll come across but she flaked late in the day so not worth your time. Meet more people and spend your time on people who value you and your time.

 

[Skid]

Hey man ,

If you haven't already you should read chases article on flaking. He tells a story about how he waited while a girl was late to their date and she never shows and then he ends up leaving. Later he finds out her phone died and she got lost - she apologises and then later he reschedules so she picks him up and then to his surprise she's bought him chocolates as well then he beds her later. Moral of the story don't be blinded by the anger your pride creates when a girl flakes on you - it doesn't help you achieve your goal.

Now I don't have to any experience with tinder - but the girls who I meet through daygame that are genuine about meeting will apologise and text first. She did apologise and she wished you a good day. She also texted first. I mean she could have not told you she wasn't coming at all - then she really doesn't give a shit. Maybe she was nervous about cancelling the date and left it last minute? Unlikely after a tinder meet but yeah.

Now trust me I know the bitter feeling you get when multiple girls flake on you an they all wish you a good day : you think too yourself fuck man does this bitch really think I'm that dumb to fall for that have a nice day shit.

But stop yourself and think about this : do you really think that this girl is going out of her way and is saying have a nice day can't meet simply to piss you off - most girls are quite shocked when they send a text like that and then the guy sends a hate filled reply. Why? because they haven't looked at it from a dudes perspective they don't really understand that as a dude you can get rejected 20 times in a row with different girls maybe more when trying to get some sort of result.

When that 20th girl blows you off you really want too talk shit to her but don't - it's not gonna change her perspective on you & she certainly isn't going to turn around and say "oh I'm sorry I didn't realise I'm the 20th girl here I'll make it easy on you and drop my panties".

As far as what you should actually do goes reply neutrally or don't reply at all THEN wait a couple days then try to reschedule try to make is so that she is investing more this time to make up for her lack off last time - ie make the date closer to you or ask her to make you food and you can chill at hers and try to bed her there. Just stay chill and ask for a bit of investment. The one red flag about her text was she didn't explain to you why she couldn't come but you did meet on tinder so you can't expect everything.

Good luck dude stay chill

Skid

 

[Thedoctor]

perpetualsun,

It doesn't really seem like a rude flake at all. She took the time to tell you she wasn't able to make it and apologized. Don't read into it any more than that. flaking with online game is quite common, especially with Tinder.

I would not advise any additional effort when it comes to online. If you're super keen on meeting her, simply reply letting her know it's cool and to let you know when works better for her. Then move on. If she does decide to respond, great. But, just so you know, there's a good chance she'll flake again. That's just part of online dating.

If a girl flakes when you didn't meet her online, then these articles should help:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... irls-flake
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-turn-flakes-dates

The most important thing is to not be bitter.

-John

 

[Drck]

Agree with Doc, it was actually nice that she notified you. Rude would be if she didn't say anything but never showed up...

 

[Estate]

Regardless, I find flaking in any fashion to just be rude but it's a large part of the game for girls so best to brush it off and not be phased by it.

I know the rule would be to leave it a few days and try again before ruling her out.

To be honest though, I can't do it personally any more. It feels super needy. I get that people are busy and sometimes things come up but you need to look at it from the perspective of... what if this was a friend? If they cancel and it's legit you'd assume they would just apologize for the circumstances and try to rearrange. If a girl doesn't offer to rearrange she's not into you so following up is just feeding her ego trip. As far as I'm concerned the girl missed an opportunity and now it's on her. I'll move on.

Maybe a cold mindset but I don't see the point in sitting there thinking about her and STILL taking her to buy her drinks or something when really.... it was sort of rude. Or at least she doesn't value your time or you as a person.

Her loss. Plenty of fish and all that...

 

[GeneralFap]

She probably wants you to chase her more. She wants you to invest more and more. At least she was decent enough to text you tho. Some bitches don't even reply back to me lmao. Anyway, just move on man.

 

[Skid]

Just some more things I wanted to throw in for thought:

Guys who are new are going to naturally want to find one way too "fix" the flake where as guys like estate and other higher ranked members most of the time girls will
not make a huge impression on them as they've interacted with so many girls and they no longer need to bother with analyzing where they went wrong because the other couple girls they met that week are still dtf. And I'm quite certain these guys aren't interested in upping their attainability for a girl who is a little insecure because they want high caliber girls not girls who are unsure of themselves. You only need to keep analyzing your interactions AND testing things if you are not satisfied with the results. Which is why I recommend the OP look at his interaction and continue it with the girl think ok do I think this girl thinks she is higher value than me based on how much she qualified herself and invested in you etc (also take into consideration how girls react to you in social circle this can give clues as to how you are GENERALLY perceived by your average girl).

But what he's actually doing is just assuming the girl thinks she is higher value (he hasn't put any thoughts in his post as to why this would be the case). Now obviously if this IS actually the case then there is little more you can do with this girl so yea delete number move on. But FIRST confirm this and find out how much info you can squeeze out of the interaction : when you are learning the game it isn't about protecting your ego from girl who you think are higher value than you but getting info you can learn from at the cost of your ego and re building it up later. So see how far you can take it - if she flakes again or even a third time then you can be pretty certain she is a waste of time and send ball in your court.If ball in your court works then it was probs a value issue. Also take into consideration it could be an attainability issue (unlikely but possible) if you are taking lots of time to get back to girls for example and say you accidentally forget to reply one night and text the next day and she never gets back to you use you brain - this probably isn't a value issue but attainability - so persist and text her again the next day or maybe call. If it works congrats you're getting better at reading people and hence your game improves. Don't just be like oh this bitch didn't reply and then not learn anything.

Also remember this is tinder and this is better applied to girls you actually picked up in person.