LR-- Girl from workplace

[snipefield]

Went out with a girl I met at work on Friday. Let's call her Lucy. We met up at cafe - I came earlier and was able to pick out a good seating location where she was sitting next to me. She came dressed very casually, which I was actually for glad because it meant she wasn't taking herself too seriously and was just out to have a good time and relax. Convo here was pretty platonic and I didn't touch at all. We spent probably around half an hour there before moving to the next spot (a bar). It was crowded and loud there, which was a good excuse to get close. I finally took her hand (should've done at coffee shop) and she started massaging mine a little bit, as well. I feel like I missed a couple of windows of opportunity - I was practicing eye contact, as per Radeng's suggestions... I would look intensely in her eyes, she would buckle under the pressure, smile and look away. Finally did kiss her about 20 minutes in, but it was just a light peck without her reciprocating, so I quickly pulled away. But we did go full-on about 5 minutes later with quite a bit of feeling.

She asked me to vocalize why I picked her, and I told her that she was intelligent, pretty and fun. Moved to next place - heavy make-out in the elevator on the way up. We spent only around 30 minutes at the next bar. Took a cab to my place (I said, let's just cab it to my place and then you can go home from there).

At my place, we first chilled on the patio, had some tea and I played guitar to get her relaxed. Started to make out with her on top and then finally took her to my room.

Looong make-out session. Lucy was on top and every time I would go for her butt, she took my hand off. Without fail. I could tell she was a little bit nervous, so she started to press me for what I'm thinking. Regrettably, I dilly-dallied upon her first 3 attempts to find out by replying in nebulous ways ("I'm a simple guy. Men all want the same thing", or "I want to fulfill my biological imperative" uhh, so unsmooth lol). Finally, after she asked for the fifth time while I was on top of her ("I want to hear it"), I looked into her eyes and said "I want to put my penis into your vagina", in a robotic fashion.

Lucy: Well that's not gonna happen

me: OK

I kept being unreactive and playful with her. Got her comfortable enough to take off her top. At a certain point she even asked me matter-of-factly whether I have condoms. It seems like a missed window of opportunity, but again, she was not letting me touch her butt or between her legs. I had taken my jeans off, and she wouldn't even do that. Also, it was interesting that she would shiver when she was nervous. Also, at certain points, she would laugh uncontrollably at my stupid jokes. It was nice to see her be free, because she was otherwise extremely analytical, trying to get at what's happening and what I'm thinking.

She kept saying that she was sleepy, and I was starting to get sleepy, too. I figured we'll sleep and resume this in the morning. Alas, she woke up extremely early (ambitious, intelligent, organized women be damned lol) and went back to her hotel room all energetic.

My parents were visiting me in town and I wanted to get to know Lucy more because she was going out of town for a long time the following day. I told her that I'm not looking for anything serious and invited her to spend the day with my parents and me as we toured around the city. She gladly accepted. It was nice hanging with her. Not sure whether spending all afternoon had any effect on my progress with her.

After my folks left, we wound up back at my room in the evening. We just started to make out when she said she needed to go very soon to pack her bags and also talk to her parents (weekly check-in). I told her to stay a little. I gave her space (silence and steady, calm eye contact) and after some back-and-forth, she invited me to go back to her hotel room. She was embarrassed by her messy room and asked me to chill downstairs. I thought about life and observed people from a wedding reception for about 40 mins.

I come back into the room and she's wearing the same v-neck t-shirt from before, but with no bra on, and boxer-type underwear for girls. She looked wonderful. We made out for quite a bit and again I had to tease her verbally to get her to relax. At a certain point, I got as far as touching her butt through her pants, but every time I would try to slip my hand in, she would take it away. So I asked about it and she said it's an off-limit zone. So, with her on top of me, I asked:

me: Are you a virgin?

Lucy: {pause. Nervous, slightly embarassed} Yes

me: Are you saving it for marriage

Lucy: Yes

me: For what reason?

Lucy: For religious reasons.

We were taking a break from the heavy make-out and I decided to find out whether she masturbates. She reciprocated the question, and I decided to tell her the truth about my former porno addiction (after making her promise she wouldn't tell anybody). She really dug my genuineness, said "OK, I trust you now" in a cute way, and sometime thereafter let me go pretty wild with her titties - before that same day she wouldn't even let me see her belly button, saying that she was uncomfortable. During this session, I whispered in a seductive voice:

me: You are so sexy.

Lucy: I don't believe you!

me: ..... Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?

I took my boxers off some time later and she started to give me a nice handjob (didn't finish though). Also, I asked if I could rub her pussy from the outside. She said that's OK, but then shifted her body about 3 minutes in in a way that made it impossible for me to do anything.

I didn't want to question her religious beliefs, so I figured that it's a lost cause to try to escalate. I went to the bathroom at a certain point and when I came back, she was fast asleep, so I went to bed, too. Her flight was way early in the morning. For whatever reason, I felt like a failure when she woke me up. She dropped me off on the way to the airport and said goodbye in a really sweet way:

Lucy: Will you write back if I write?

me: Of course!

Lucy: I will miss you!

me: Me too

We kissed and she was off. Those last words evoked an intense feeling of fondness for how sweet girls can be and for Lucy specifically. I think despite how I felt when I woke up, things turned out the way they were meant to. She genuinely enjoyed spending time with me, and I felt the same. Hopefully I'm not making a rationalizations here for closing the deal. You men let me know - just tell it like you see it, that's why I'm here.

 

[ray_zorse]

It's great to see a sexy story up, also good to hear that the strong ec is working for you, it's hard to do, but rewarding.

I think the date plan could have used some tightening up or modification on the fly, it feels to me like her emotions crested with the elevator makeout and that was the time to pull or otherwise make it happen, I get that you didn't want to look reactive or change direction but somehow sitting down over drinks in a 3rd bar after a heavy makeout feels like an anticlimax, I think maybe leading her to the fire stairs might have been the ticket here. And if they weren't secluded enough you could have led her down and into a taxi?

What windows do u think u missed in 2nd bar? Remember that public kissing is generally a nogo on their part, cos they feel exposed, doesn't mean she isn't into you. So it sounds like you felt a window closing and hastily acted, which is basically the right thing to do, but acting earlier and more smoothly (you feel it's getting same-same so you proactively move her to another part of the bar or to the next venue) might have made all the difference. Edit: I just saw the bit about the public kissing 5min later. Why not pull her home??

I feel that the above 2 things are what caused her to throw up roadblocks in regards to her panties. My first experience with missed window was similar, she was keen before, and then started saying "I have rules". Although, it's possible your girl was more influenced by being a virgin and society's rules, than anything you did. In that case the right approach is hard to determine, either hard pushing or takeaways or both. I mean, some high value girls just don't put out on first date, and I have heard it said on these boards that that's what makes them high value -- in that case it's probably better to play the aloof card, cut things short and make her work a bit.

I think as the story unfolded past the initial intimacy you were too compliant (qualifying yourself as to why you liked her, asking if you could do stuff / verbalizing your intention and doing things on her terms, also I'm slightly iffy on the guitar playing as I think it's caretaking her mood and it's subtly qualifying yourself, though I wasn't there so it's hard to be sure)... and perhaps a little chasey, I think you were more persistent than chasey, but the problem with persistence in certain kinds of contexts is it rewards her resistance and that's a tricky scenario. What's basically happened is she gave you enough to pretty much think it was a done deal, after which it is very hard to look at it objectively and say, well, this isn't my scene, not fun if I have to work hard here, so, see ya later. So you persist and persist. Women can be sneaky like that. Haha.

She does sound pretty into you though. Boyfriend territory won't kill you. I imagine she may start pressing for commitment before giving up the cherry, as she sounds like a logical-brained type. It's up to you how you'd handle that.

Ray

 

[skin_man]

Learnt much from the report. Learnt even more from Ray's reply.

Am having a date wit a girl at work this weekend. Her logistics are screwed up and mine is bottle-necked.

My question is: "what logistics hiccups did you encounter on the first or second meet?"

Ani wish you and Lucy the best. I hope you get to Fuck her brains out in the end. In fact, tell her you want to check for the virginity using the tip of your penis. might get a laugh and a strong bad boy image after that. That's safe for precedent and probably a lay too.

 

[snipefield]

I’ve been in contact with Lucy throughout this past week – she has been calling me and sending me sweet messages. On Tuesday, she invited me down to another city she was staying in for one day before going back to her home country. I checked the bus prices and decided to go for it.

We met on Friday night in front of her hotel. We dropped my bag off in her room, made out a little bit, and then decided to take a walk. Interestingly enough, while we were walking and holding hands, a tall black girl came out of nowhere, got in my way, and said something to the effect of “You look so cute together, let’s party.” Her tone suggested that we were old friends, for a second I even thought that maybe we knew each other (good game on her part hehe). I told her to get out of the way. She responded with “This baby looks cute”. I responded with “She’s my baby”, and we kept walking, just as the black gir’s friend came to get her. Peculiar situation, I couldn’t tell whether she was drunk, jealous because we were merrily walking along, wanted money, or genuinely just wanted to party…… Needless to say Lucy was perplexed, as well.

Lucy was wearing flip-flops and although she wanted to walk around, she was also getting tired. I offered to give her a piggy-back ride for a couple of blocks, but she refused. Finally, after much prodding, I convinced her to climb atop, but she only mustered to go for one block. I then asked her why she was so shy about it, and she replied that it’s because she’s fat (def. not!). I recognized this as an opportunity to bust on her balls. She enjoyed me calling her fat teasingly for the rest of our time together and played along with it. Fun stuff!

After we got back to the room, we started to make out. I instructed Lucy to lie on her stomach and close her eyes, which she did willingly. I then started with kissing her back, because I hadn’t done that before, and she REALLY enjoyed it (later telling me that her back is most sensitive body part, I didn’t believe her at first). After a while, I put massage oil on her back. I was running my hands up and down her body and did eventually caress her pussy, but not a lot. I just had a hunch she wasn’t ready and was fearful of risking it.

We kept going on and off making out with her lying on her stomach and me on top massaging her or me on the bottom and her on top of me – she enjoyed this position. At a certain point, it got really hot, and she said “I wanna try something” and took her shorts off. Just underwear now. Yes!

So at this point, I put oil on my member and started just rubbing it between her legs (she still had underwear on). This was good, but the problem is that the underwear is a little bit rough and my dick would get soft occasionally. At a certain point, I pushed her panties to the side and started to try to put it in, but my dick wasn’t hard enough and also I couldn’t smoothly find her hole (darn). Finally, I did put it in and pumped for several strokes. It was painful for her, but she was enjoying it. However, I interrupted it, saying “If we’re gonna do this, we better put condoms on”. Of course, as soon as I put one on, my dick started getting soft. This often happens if I’m with a new girl and a little bit nervous. So doggy-style didn’t work - it just wasn’t hard enough. We gave up for some time to take a break.

We started to talk about her leaving back home the next day (she lives in a different country). I really liked that we were talking about this because we were lying on the bed in a very intimate setting and looking deep into each other’s eyes. She wanted to know what I saw of us. I was honest with her in saying that by my nature, I’m a past-positive person, which means that I am prone to falling into LDR’s (because you’re always remembering how great your rare meetings were in the past, and hoping for analogous meetings in the future). But, I told her that I had a LDR in the past and decided not to do it again. I also said I don’t do long-distance relationships because that’s living in the past and future, while I try to live in the present (Ray, major props to you for advice on this!).

She got visibly upset but in a very calm and vulnerable manner. So sweet, really! She said “I’m gonna cry now”. She told me she will not be able to just stop thinking about me once she goes back home because she really likes me. And since I’m not gonna reciprocate, she felt like she’ll eventually grow to hate me. She asked me whether she should hate me. I hemmed and hawed giving conditional answers and she wouldn’t take it. So finally, I said, well, maybe, yes you should hate me. We made a joke out of it regarding exactly when she would start hating me. But we were still looking into each other’s eyes and touching each other. Actions speak louder than words…

So then she asked me why I went for her and I told her something to the effect of “If I like a girl, I go after her.” She got upset at this a little bit, because her mind, she interpreted as her being just another number. So here she said, “I wish you hadn’t done that, because you just go after what you want without considering the girls feelings. Then the girl becomes just a number to you, while the girl can’t stop thinking about you.” But she said this in a normal tone, without malice, which helped me respond in a calm and confident manner. I pondered a bit and responded, “Lucy, I can understand your perspective. But, you know, it’s impossible to say ahead of time what will happen. For example, what if you are my soulmate, should I not approach because I know that you’re only here for a week and gonna go back to your country? That’s ridiculous isn’t it. That’s precisely the kind of mentality that partly leads men to become addicted to pornography. So I won’t make apologies for approaching and trying to get girls I like.”

We naturally ventured onto other topics, although we did keep coming back to this one. I think she may have admired my honesty about this. It was 5 AM, and we were tired, so went to bed until 7:30. After we got up, Lucy went to shower and I then joined her there. We started making out and I had the idea of pulling an Anatman and pinning her to the wall and having her there, but she was scared I’d drop her, and frankly I was a bit wary too. She said “we can do it in the room, if you want to”.

So we got out of the shower and I tried to go in missionary and doggy-style, but again, my dick wasn’t hard enough. I was becoming frustrated, I was definitely nervous because she was a new and inexperienced and I wanted to impress. I tried to just relax and not think about much as she was kissing me in a passionate way. The frustrating thing is she was absolutely sexy naked, so I was thinking “You motherfucker, you’re really pulling a number here” about my dick. At a certain point, we basically gave up because we wanted to do sight-seeing around the city and it was getting to be a bit late in the morning. But just as we were about to start dressing, I sat on my knees on the bed, pulled Lucy up and said,

Me: Hey, you remember how you touched me last week? That was really good
Lucy: Yes.
Me: Do that again, I will enjoy it
Lucy: OK

So she started to give me a hand-job while making out. This was really hot, and so my dick started to get hard quickly. It felt so good because I could feel her having to adjust the pressure from her hand as it grew. It didn’t take long, and she already got that the condom ordeal was a pain, so as soon as I got hard enough, I knocked her back and went in missionary style. I whispered to Lucy:

Me: Lucy,, I don’t want to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. So if you’re uncomfortable with, just say red, and I will stop. Ok?
Lucy: OK {breathing heavily}

I started to rock back and forth and it was a little bit painful for her, but in a good way. We shifted the position eventually, and I kind of lost the erection. But Lucy was starting to catch on to what works, and so she motioned for me to lie on my back. She got on top of me, started to kiss me passionately and when I got hard, slipped it in. As Mr. Rob says, Bangtown USA, baby!

She was moaning, I was moaning. At a certain point, breathing heavily, she said “I wish we had been doing this all along since we met. This feels amazing.” Bingo!

We went at it not too long, probably around 7-8 minutes or so and she was so sexy, so I started to cum. I pulled her off, but unfortunately didn’t get a chance to finish on her. Still, it was all good!

We then got breakfast and did a lot of rapid sightseeing. It was fun and I really enjoyed her company. Also, I forgot to mention that throughout our time together I established a true connection by sharing stories like “What’s the best and worst thing that happened to you?”, “What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you”.

On our way to the last sight, she asked me if I was gonna go to the airport with her. I said no, because I had a bus to catch back to my city (I deliberately got the return ticket earlier than her flight). This upset her visibly, but again not in a malicious way. She said she really wanted me to go with her. I initially refused because I thought it was too chasey. But then I started to think, “Why not, I’m way too dogmatic sometimes. I like her, I like airports, if she wants me to come and she would derive pleasure from that, then why not. I can probably move the bus ticket. I’ll do it.”

Regarding the sex, it’s interesting how I tend to successfully close it out with girls who are sexually inexperienced and not into the quick, dirty sex. I actually get off on being dominant, but for whatever reason I’m scared of expressing that initially because of fear of hurting them. I’m not sure where this is coming from. Maybe watching porn and seeing how women are degraded there? I think my approach is a bit too slow because it requires the girl to be patient (whereas sometimes they really just wanna be fucked).

Also, my perception of Lucy highlights the difference between a relationship based on just sex versus one with an emotional connection, as well. Maybe I’m backwards-rationalizing here, but I really like her – looks, but also voice, laugh, her silliness, sweetness, intelligence, ambition. I realize I may be putting her on a pedestal, but I can't help but think of her in a positive light.. With those traits in mind, after we parted, I saw many pretty girls around town as I was going to catch my bus, but I inevitably thought, well that girl may be pretty, but is she as x as Lucy (x being as smart, as ambitious, etc).
I know It’s counterproductive to make such comparisons, I merely wanted to highlight how these feelings arise. So they shall inevitably pass.

Anyways, Lucy kept talking about how either she’ll visit me or I’ll visit her, so we’ll see where this takes us.

In conclusion, I really liked how she gradually opened up to me over the course of these two weekends. It took some time, but it was sooo worth it. Thanks to all who post on the boards regularly and have given me advice, it has and will continue to help!

 

[ray_zorse]

Nice one brother It seems things fell into place pretty quickly on this meetup, perhaps she had already decided she was DTF in the meantime? In which case there is nothing to do but capitalize like a sexy motherfucker Do you think she was actually a virgin, or was she just bullshitting initially?

It was great how you handled the r/ship talk (and thanks for the honourable mention), reading between the lines you possibly do want r/ship with her (assuming the distance thing can be got around somehow), but bear in mind Chase's advice that "let's be boyfriend and girlfriend" is an incredibly weak beginning to a r/ship, you want her giving you mind blowing sex on the reg and chasing you more and more for commitment (while she knows or suspects you are a major womanizer with options coming out the wazoo), for a few months, and then when you judge the moment to be right, you take her as your girlfriend, though on your terms.

About the performance anxiety it's fuckin' heartbreaking sometimes and it's incredibly awesome how you pulled through and kept trying things that would get you into the moment, what you described is a pretty typical lay for me atm, but the good thing is it hasn't caused a major problem in a long time, as I just pass it off casually and try something else, exactly as you did. Fucking golden my brother. Raging boners: 1 Limp dicks: 0... GOAL!!! He shoots.... he scores!!

Ray

 

[skin_man]

But she said this in a normal tone, without malice, which helped me respond in a calm and confident manner. I pondered a bit and responded, “Lucy, I can understand your perspective. But, you know, it’s impossible to say ahead of time what will happen. For example, what if you are my soulmate, should I not approach because I know that you’re only here for a week and gonna go back to your country? That’s ridiculous isn’t it. That’s precisely the kind of mentality that partly leads men to become addicted to pornography. So I won’t make apologies for approaching and trying to get girls I like.”

Ooooh! Golden.

Congrats. Anxiety has several ways it uses to crop up. Good thing the situation got handled like it should.
Keep your head up.