Girl has BF seems to want it...

[girlsfollow]

GIrl I met at the gym, since the first time I met her she's been staring at me like she wants it big time. Since she told me she has a BF I backed off a bit and treated her more as a friend. Got her number a few days ago and she's actively initiating, sending me big long text messages trying to get me talking - I've been responding - but I realise becoming her texting buddy isn't ideal either. If I did want things to go down a less friendly route I would ask her to come over but I think she's unlikely to do so (we both live in the same accommodation and I think her BF does too)...Anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

[Qielli]

I met a lot of girls with boyfriends that were still attacted to me. In my experience, they will all (or almost all) resist you to some extent when you try to move things forward with them sexually (such as kiss them), explaining that they're in a relationship. But here's where you have to use your judgment. If you think they like you, but they love their boyfriend, don't want to break up with him and would never cheat on him (or it would really break them afterwards), then I think it's best to just leave it be, at least unless the relationship comes to an end or she changes her mind and starts pursuing you herself.
However other times the girl really likes you and is open to something even though she's in a relationship. She will probably still resist you, but it's mostly token resistance. She doesn't want to feel bad by cheating on her boyfriend too easily, but secretly she wants you to overcome her resistance and take her anyway. Then at least she can say to herself that it's not really her fault and that it "just happened".
It all depends on how much she really likes you, what kind of girl she is (and how experienced) and how serious she views her relationship as.

From what you're saying, it looks like it could very well be the second case, so why don't you try to make a move and find out? Even if she rejects you, I don't think it's a problem if you REALLY just want to be friends with her after, as long as you're cool about it and don't make it a big deal.

If you don't think she'll be willing to come to your place right away, you can just try to meet-up in a café or something and take her home later on, that's not a big deal IMO.

 

[Marty]

GirlsFollow... an idea... sometimes women leave later for work in the morning than their menfolk. Perhaps you could catch her after breakfast, once he's out, and invite her in on the spot (e.g. she might be walking the dog, if she has one, say around 8 AM). A long shot perhaps, but I thought it worth mentioning. -Marty

 

[Doctor]

I have the same situation going on right now. She even gave me her number when she realised she cannot add me on Facebook (I have an account you cannot add as friend) and then suggested the meet herself when I gave her my number in return, in her first text.

Then, same as girlsfollow's girl, she starts sending really long 'get to know you' texts. It's only when I try to deal with logistics to set up a meet at my place she comes out with the 'well I am spending this weekend with my boyfriend' line. So far the first and only mention of her BF.

Just wanted to say I am following this thread with great interest and appreciate the input so far. I am going to follow Qielli's advice now and find out more about her BF (all I know right now is he lives in a different city) although I think it is pretty clear she wants to cheat.

I am wondering though, if she is likely to put up resistance to keep a clear conscience, is it worth it? I have other girls I can focus on who are single, I guess this is still worth a punt though?

 

[girlsfollow]

she starts sending really long 'get to know you' texts. It's only when I try to deal with logistics to set up a meet at my place she comes out with the 'well I am spending this weekend with my boyfriend' line. So far the first and only mention of her BF.

Haha - this is exactly what she is like - she seems to really want to get to know me - and tell me everything about her life "I just got out the exam" "My brother and sister are sick" bla bla but as soon as I moved to invite her over she says she will but "it must be strictly friendly since I have a boyfriend" I replied with "My god of course! Now I need to wonder what you were thinking! "

haha - she replied with "Im really happy to hear that - just more of a precaution"

So as you can tell she is certainly going to put up a lot of resistance if I tried to escalate anything. Shes away with family at the mo and will be back next week plan is to come over for tea....I'm also very unsure how to proceed - she isnt ast forward as Doctors case - things have been strictly platonic and she hasnt been as eager to meet up as yours. I have the added danger that she goes to the same uni - so I need to be VERY careful with social circle repercussions if I push things a little too much - so I plan to take it super slow and just chill and see what happens.