Girl has dropped from the face of the Earth

[Anonymous]

Back story:
I met this girl at a party. We hit it off just fine and went on a total of 3 dates in the span of a month. I didn't get to lay her. Suddenly she stops responding to my messages. The last time I saw her was Thursday before last. I've texted her twice since then. One saying hi and the second inviting her out. ZERO communication from both parties since then.

I have no idea what could be the matter. Since she just went completely cold on me and hasn't said anything I'm not 100% sure. However, I realize that I didn't lay her in good time and this may be the case. But surely it can be anything else so I can't be just assuming things. I feel like right now, it doesn't matter what I did, I just need to get her to talk somehow. Normally I would just let it go and move on but I really like this girl and I'm pissed that I fucked up so badly. But I'm getting over that.

My plan:
Tonight or tomorrow I will call her. If she picks up then I'll try to see if she's willing to go out again ASAP. If she doesn't pick up then I'll call again, then I'll leave a message saying that I miss her and stuff and that want to go out again.
If she goes out with me then I'll make sure to be extra warm and really let her know that I want her. And of course I'll get the lay in ASAP

I know this is going to be hard and take a long time. I've read the articles on the website and soaked in the information but please, shed some light on my situation. What else should say? Should I even do it like this? There has to be SOMETHING I can do.

Thanks,
E.R.R

 

[mkivtt]

It could be anything. Maybe she met someone else. Maybe she doesn't like you. Maybe you scared or bored her. You'll never know unless she tells you, which she probably won't, and if you push her to say it anyway, she'll probably resent you for it.

Either way it's a shitty way to treat someone. I prefer the honest route... as long as a girl is honest and just texts or calls that she doesn't feel the right chemistry, I'm perfectly OK with that. I don't know why so many freaking girls have issues with that. In my eyes, it makes her a bitch, and you should NOT call her unless it is to tell her you're glad her chubby, boring, dull self is gone because she's been replaced by someone hotter and smarter. Who knows, maybe they're all afraid of being stalked and guys turning creepy, but it's still NO excuse to just sever all communications IMO.

If you DO call her, don't tell her you miss her... that's needy and she won't like it. Pretend nothing happened, have some small chat, and say "hey, I'm going to XYZ this week, want to join me?" If she says no, ask for her schedule; if she beats around the bush, she's not interested in which case you can just say something like "too bad, I felt we had a connection. Your loss." and hang up.

 

[Franco]

mkivtt,

Either way it's a shitty way to treat someone. I prefer the honest route... as long as a girl is honest and just texts or calls that she doesn't feel the right chemistry, I'm perfectly OK with that. I don't know why so many freaking girls have issues with that. In my eyes, it makes her a bitch, and you should NOT call her unless it is to tell her you're glad her chubby, boring, dull self is gone because she's been replaced by someone hotter and smarter.

This notion only comes from someone who hasn't walked a mile in an attractive woman's shoes. I used to get upset about this myself, but you have to understand where women are coming from first and foremost.

Chase once brought up a good point about what a woman's goal is with every "good" man -- and guess what? It's not to sleep with him or to make him her boyfriend/husband. It's to make him what we like to refer to as an "orbiter." An orbiter is a guy that a girl keeps around because she sees the value in him as a potential mate, but she also recognizes that orbiters will stay around, so it's a guy she knows she will always have as a back-up as long as he continues to contact her periodically.

Generally, girls won't sever connections for two reasons: 1) to not rock the boat (meaning guys getting creepy/stalkerish/angry or possibly being a threat to their reputation) and 2) because she wants to have as many options as possible surrounding her for potential mates. Part of the material on this website is geared toward getting you to recognize this fact so that you can understand why it's important that you move fast with women, thus preventing you from getting slotted as an orbiter.

On rare occasions, women will completely cut contact with you via text and make their intentions clear about things not working between the two of you, but this is often attributed to the fact that there was hardly any attraction whatsoever. So when a girl doesn't cut contact with you directly, she's more than likely just trying to keep you as an orbiter (which means there actually might be some attraction) rather than just completely ignore you. This is why if you get to this point with a girl and you haven't bedded her, it's actually more beneficial to be aloof, which in turn may make her reach out to make sure you're still within "orbiter" range. Of course, should you get her to go out with you again, you need to move quickly so that she doesn't stick you right back into the orbiter category.

So with that being said E.R.R., I would not contact her if she hasn't responded the last couple of times you've tried. At this point, it's best to just refrain from contacting her and seek out other options. If she happens to contact you again, then try to arrange a meet-up and move quickly this time!

- Franco