Calls & Texts Girl has some game! (texting help)

[TheDarkHalf]

So quick background on this chick. We went on our first date 4/5. Went to dinner and had drinks (it was a home run), she invited me out, went to her friends place to pregame, then to her place, then out, then back to her place where I F-closed it and stayed the night. Second date was 4/11 - just chilled at her place, smoked some weed, drank some wine, curled up on the couch and watched tv. Didn't try to get in it but did steal some makeouts throughout the evening and stayed the night. Third date was 4/16 - went out to eat, had a couple of drinks, went back to her place so she could change, back to another bar, and then to another, and then back to her place. A little kissing her and there on the date, tried to get it in at the end but it was that time of the month. Stayed the night again.

Just want to mention - I'm actively dating other women (and she's dating other men). This is just a cool chick, she's good in bed, my type, naturally beautiful, lives about a 15min walk from my apt, etc. Not a oneitis situation/whiteknighting. Would be perfectly fine with walking away if that's what's recommended. I feel like this girl has as much game as I do.

At this point I'm struggling to get this girl out again. All of our communication is via text. Here's been the communication since the end of our last date.

Me: Hey Jill! Did you end up working from home today?
Jill: No I should have tho - it's so shitty out
Me: It's supposed to clear up around noon! Was gonna see if you wanted to grab lunch. Did you figure out your schedule for this weekend?
Jill: Not yet :/
Me: Nothing more exciting than a game time decision! If you're around this weekend we'll have to do something fun! I'll text you tomm or you can text me when you figure it out. Whatever's clever.
Jill: Will do! I may have made some tentative plans if I stay here as well so I really have no clue what I'm gonna do!
Me (Apr 18th, 11:06am): Haha well if that's the case you should 'tentatively' plan to do something with me sat evening; dinner/drinks around 5-6pm

Me (Apt 19th, 8:52pm): Hey! I'm going into Clarendon for some drinks tonight, you should definitely join!
Jill: I have a solid crowd here waiting on a friend to get her from Philly
Me (Apr 19th, 9:13pm): right on! I'm in a similar boat. Where ya'll partying at tonight?

Me (Apr 21st, 6:36pm): Hey Jill! hope your week was solid! Lets figure out a time to grab dinner. What's your schedule looking like mon/tue evening?
Jill (Apr 21st, 9:24pm): It was good! Lauren and Adam broke up - he cheated on her so I'm playing friend all week trying to keep her busy! I'll let you know what day I free up!
Me (Apr 22nd, 8:44am): Wow that sucks. Sorry to hear that. I've been there before and know what she's going through; you're the distraction she needs right now. It's all good; holler when you free up.
Jill: Ok maybe if she feels up to it we can meet up w ya! But I don't want to upset her haha
Me: Haha yeah I totally get that, I'd be down for meeting up, just let me know
(^^I think I messed up on that last text, should have NOT said I'd be down for meeting up with her and her friend)

At this point I went to Costa Rica for about 6 days....resume the game...

Me (Apr 30th, 3:38pm): Hey Jill! Hope your last week or so was on point, mine definitely was! We should get together soon, how's your week looking?
Jill: I have a wedding saturday - have to shop for that today! Thursday is girls night! Might be free wed!
Me: Haha I can only imagine what treatyoself is going to end up with today! I could use a little excitement tonight, too bad you have to shop! Why don't we shoot for friday after work?
Jill (May 1st, 12:10pm): God spent $1000 (first time she ever initiated a text to me)
Me (May 1st, 3:29pm): Damnnnnnn. I think I can smell your credit card melting from here! Lets do something fun friday night!
Jill: I may have plans friday
Me: Come on. You know you want to see me haha. I have plans tonight, but I'm free thurs/fri
Jill (May 1st, 8:00pm): I have girls night out thurs, girls dinner fri, wedding on sat, boating on sunday

Me (May 2nd, 9:54am): Hey Jill! It looks like our schedules are matching up! I have a busy week coming up next week, but can definitely clear some time to meet up....only cause your cute haha. What's your schedule like next week?

And that's where it stands. Coming up on the 24 hour rule of radio silence here shortly. I've been persisting in the right ways, just not sure if there is anything else I should be doing. Comments welcomed and appreciated. Oh yeah. 1st post

 

[Franco]

Hey TDH, welcome to the boards!

It seems to me that you've let her take control of the relationship between you two. Once you sleep with her the first time, you absolutely must persist in sleeping with her every single time you hang out, or at least every single time you hang out at your place or her place (which is what you should be doing anyway). Also, her being on her period doesn't matter. Every time a girl says she's on her period, I consider it to be a shit test of whether or not you are man enough to say something along the lines of, "I think that's hot..." and turn her on and do it anyway.

As to where you stand with her at this point, it's pretty hard to judge. Sleeping with her once and then meeting up two more times without sleeping her sends the wrong message, and at this point, she might have just seen it as a "one-night stand" type of deal. If she continues to ignore your invitations (and I would probably only try a couple more times at most, based on your previous conversations), then you probably need to use some pre-selection so that she doesn't think she has you on a leash. Based on the conversations, it's pretty obvious she's the one in control.

Also, as far as text messaging goes, there's a few things you can probably do to improve your style:

• 1) Don't respond to every single part of her text.
  

  Jill (Apr 21st, 9:24pm): It was good! Lauren and Adam broke up - he cheated on her so I'm playing friend all week trying to keep her busy! I'll let you know what day I free up!
  Me (Apr 22nd, 8:44am): Wow that sucks. Sorry to hear that. I've been there before and know what she's going through; you're the distraction she needs right now. It's all good; holler when you free up.

  
  Your text shows too much investment. A better response would have been:
  Wow, that sucks; I understand. I'll talk you later then.
  
  2) ...which brings me to my second point. Don't always sound free. In the last text example, I didn't say, "let me know when you're free." She already implied she would text you, but by saying, "I'll talk to you later then," it leaves some doubt in her mind as to whether or not you were going to contact her again, which will more likely make her follow-up on her plan to hit you up when she's free.
  
  3) And my final point: keep your texts short. Most of your texts are longer than hers, which usually isn't a good sign. You want to be sending short messages that get to the point, and if it isn't about meeting up, you can make a short comment on it (like my example from above "Wow, that sucks; I understand."), but don't go tellin' a story!

Anyway, it seems like you did close quickly with her, so your best way to turn this around is to start contacting her less and initiate some pre-selection if you can. This can be enough to bring a girl out of her "I'm in power" stance.

Cheers,

Franco

 

[Clout]

she invited me out, went to her friends place to pregame, then to her place, then out, then back to her place

Good job, sounds like she knows the drill. But why so much moving?

Didn't try to get in

I could be wrong but for now all I am looking for its lays, so I would never go on a date without complete intent of getting laid. I feel it keeps up with the "I love my freedom" and they know what to expect every time.

went out to eat, had a couple of drinks, went back to her place so she could change, back to another bar, and then to another, and then back to her place. A little kissing her and there on the date, tried to get it in at the end but it was that time of the month. Stayed the night again.

Who is moving who? Sounds like her, she is in control and this is not good for you. She has you. The texts demonstrate this too, I am probably too harsh with my investment. If they have counter offered twice but not lived up to it then I would genuinely stop texting her. I always find girls like to keep you where they have you. You had already demonstrated you don't need sex to stay around and now shes keeping you there with just texts. If she wants your time, make her see you in person not via text. Also as a side note, if them being on doesn't bother you then make sure you let them know!

 

[TheDarkHalf]

Hey TDH, welcome to the boards!

It seems to me that you've let her take control of the relationship between you two. Once you sleep with her the first time, you absolutely must persist in sleeping with her every single time you hang out, or at least every single time you hang out at your place or her place (which is what you should be doing anyway). Also, her being on her period doesn't matter. Every time a girl says she's on her period, I consider it to be a shit test of whether or not you are man enough to say something along the lines of, "I think that's hot..." and turn her on and do it anyway.

As to where you stand with her at this point, it's pretty hard to judge. Sleeping with her once and then meeting up two more times without sleeping her sends the wrong message, and at this point, she might have just seen it as a "one-night stand" type of deal. If she continues to ignore your invitations (and I would probably only try a couple more times at most, based on your previous conversations), then you probably need to use some pre-selection so that she doesn't think she has you on a leash. Based on the conversations, it's pretty obvious she's the one in control.

Also, as far as text messaging goes, there's a few things you can probably do to improve your style:

• 1) Don't respond to every single part of her text.
  

  Jill (Apr 21st, 9:24pm): It was good! Lauren and Adam broke up - he cheated on her so I'm playing friend all week trying to keep her busy! I'll let you know what day I free up!
  Me (Apr 22nd, 8:44am): Wow that sucks. Sorry to hear that. I've been there before and know what she's going through; you're the distraction she needs right now. It's all good; holler when you free up.

  
  Your text shows too much investment. A better response would have been:
  Wow, that sucks; I understand. I'll talk you later then.
  
  2) ...which brings me to my second point. Don't always sound free. In the last text example, I didn't say, "let me know when you're free." She already implied she would text you, but by saying, "I'll talk to you later then," it leaves some doubt in her mind as to whether or not you were going to contact her again, which will more likely make her follow-up on her plan to hit you up when she's free.
  
  3) And my final point: keep your texts short. Most of your texts are longer than hers, which usually isn't a good sign. You want to be sending short messages that get to the point, and if it isn't about meeting up, you can make a short comment on it (like my example from above "Wow, that sucks; I understand."), but don't go tellin' a story!

Anyway, it seems like you did close quickly with her, so your best way to turn this around is to start contacting her less and initiate some pre-selection if you can. This can be enough to bring a girl out of her "I'm in power" stance.

Cheers,

Franco

So believe it or not I told her I was still DTF even though she was on her period, that it doesn't bother me. Believe me I was on top of her and my junk was in her hands.

I agree. I feel like this is getting at the end of it's rope, but again, I'm not someone who gives up easily. I have no qualms about being persistent, and i figure if she really didn't want to talk to me at all, she wouldn't be responding to my messages.

Thanks for the pointers on my text game. I knew I was on the right track, but that it needed some cleaning up.

I definitely closed it quickly and I feel like I can turn this around, and believe me if I do get her out on another date I'm bedding her for sure. Is there a best way to initiate pre-selection via text? And based on the conversation history above, what's a good amount of radio silence before reaching out to her again? What's the next best text to get this out of the gutter and get her out again?

 

[TheDarkHalf]

she invited me out, went to her friends place to pregame, then to her place, then out, then back to her place

Good job, sounds like she knows the drill. But why so much moving?

Didn't try to get in

I could be wrong but for now all I am looking for its lays, so I would never go on a date without complete intent of getting laid. I feel it keeps up with the "I love my freedom" and they know what to expect every time.

went out to eat, had a couple of drinks, went back to her place so she could change, back to another bar, and then to another, and then back to her place. A little kissing her and there on the date, tried to get it in at the end but it was that time of the month. Stayed the night again.

Who is moving who? Sounds like her, she is in control and this is not good for you. She has you. The texts demonstrate this too, I am probably too harsh with my investment. If they have counter offered twice but not lived up to it then I would genuinely stop texting her. I always find girls like to keep you where they have you. You had already demonstrated you don't need sex to stay around and now shes keeping you there with just texts. If she wants your time, make her see you in person not via text. Also as a side note, if them being on doesn't bother you then make sure you let them know!

As far as the moving goes, she just likes to have a good time and party. I'm cool with that. I often feel like moving things around to different spots keeps it fun, exciting, and often gives the feel on going on multiple dates in one.

I need to flip this around so I can keep her in the rotation. I have a couple of dates coming up next week with other women, so maybe I can hint at that? I guess i'm just not too sure what my next move should be.

 

[Clout]

Yeah I agree that moving is fun, however you have to be the one that leads it. Even if she absolutely has to change venue then that's fine (ex in there etc) but make sure you lead her out and she knows it. If she has moved you to several different places and you haven't challenged/taken the lead from her, you are just doing what she wants. You can think of it as push pull.

Also she went home to get changed, if I get a girl 100% alone (regardless if I been there before - unless I friend-zoning her) I'm going for it. It keeps up with the long term frame I want with her. We meet = We get intimate (in my eyes that's what lovers do). Besides going home, getting crazy then going back out while you get ready for round 2 is fun

 

[TheDarkHalf]

Yeah I agree that moving is fun, however you have to be the one that leads it. Even if she absolutely has to change venue then that's fine (ex in there etc) but make sure you lead her out and she knows it. If she has moved you to several different places and you haven't challenged/taken the lead from her, you are just doing what she wants. You can think of it as push pull.

Also she went home to get changed, if I get a girl 100% alone (regardless if I been there before - unless I friend-zoning her) I'm going for it. It keeps up with the long term frame I want with her. We meet = We get intimate (in my eyes that's what lovers do). Besides going home, getting crazy then going back out while you get ready for round 2 is fun

All great points! I guess sometimes I am a little too laid back; granted I have no problem being firm and leading the way.

I guess the only thing that kept me from making a play was roommates being home. Made me not even think about it. My mistake.

Honestly I'm 100 percent positive there is another guy in play which is fine (I'm dating multiple women), but he's obviously the front runner and is getting priority. Buying her dinner, taking her to weddings, etc. I also feel like my constant persistence tactic needs to change as it's obviously not working at this point. She knows I'm down to hang out. So I'm going to shift gears a bit and see what happens. It's been a week since I've texted her, so I'll drop her a line and see if she bites.

 

[Clout]

If you go for a text I would be clear to the point and keep it sharp. I wouldn't be too concerned on outcome. Make it short and to the point (ask her schedule do not say yours!), then focus on getting new women in your life.

If she;
Doesn't reply = I would delete/change name to done#_NAME (I like this because if they text you, you have their name if they text you etc - delete after a while or w.e)

Is free & date suites you = offer it.

Is not free & counter-offers = if suites take it, if you fed up of being on her terms say "no can do, you got anything else? " it's short, you are not telling her why or with who (warning; she may give up but I would move on).

Says she can't do = After the amount of times you tried I would just go for "That's cool" and then done#_ -NAME it. She may come running back now you aren't chasing. Alternative = don't reply, you are busy man now.

Just remember you aren't trying to find out her day and by not giving away too much you are more intriguing to her. Don't let her stray from the date talk.

With the flatmate thing, I would just go for it. If she says there are people around my instant response is "Good! maybe we'll get caught" (while getting more dominant).

 

[TheDarkHalf]

If you go for a text I would be clear to the point and keep it sharp. I wouldn't be too concerned on outcome. Make it short and to the point (ask her schedule do not say yours!), then focus on getting new women in your life.

If she;
Doesn't reply = I would delete/change name to done#_NAME (I like this because if they text you, you have their name if they text you etc - delete after a while or w.e)

Is free & date suites you = offer it.

Is not free & counter-offers = if suites take it, if you fed up of being on her terms say "no can do, you got anything else? " it's short, you are not telling her why or with who (warning; she may give up but I would move on).

Says she can't do = After the amount of times you tried I would just go for "That's cool" and then done#_ -NAME it. She may come running back now you aren't chasing. Alternative = don't reply, you are busy man now.

Just remember you aren't trying to find out her day and by not giving away too much you are more intriguing to her. Don't let her stray from the date talk.

With the flatmate thing, I would just go for it. If she says there are people around my instant response is "Good! maybe we'll get caught" (while getting more dominant).

Yeah that's kind of where I'm at with it, and I agree with your directional advice depending on the outcome. As much as I love to run game, there comes a point where I grow tired of it (esp considering I have other women that want to spend time with me).

I'll keep the text short and to the point. I'll report back on the result.

 

[TheDarkHalf]

Me: Hey trouble, plans early next week?
Her: Hey Hey! Could be free early Monday or Tuesday! Have happy hrs wed on (response was almost immediate)
Me: That's cool. Lets do Tuesday.

Keeping it short, sweet, and to the point. No response back as of yet; I probably won't contact her again until Tuesday. If she flakes, goes into the Done#_Name.

 

[Clout]

You are taking control, I like it and be proud. I always put a time on them because then it looks like I am certain and she knows what to expect. This helps for the check-up text I send that day (usually on my lunch) so there is no arranging then, just need a good to go response. Also gives me time to contact my back-up. Nice to see you like my Done#_Name, may it save you from the crazies and help you remember names of those that booty call ya!

 

[TheDarkHalf]

Dropped her a quick line today to see if she was still game for tonight - haven't heard anything back for a few hours and I'm assuming I won't. Into the DONE#_Name category.

No worries though, I've had 6 other dates this month, each with a different girl. Not sweating it.