Girl Has Too Many Guy Friends.

[allanmogale]

It didn't bother me at first, but now that I have emotionally invested in her; it bothers me a lot.

She has already picked up that I am an insecure boy who's afraid to lose her to other men, basically as weak. I like her a lot and chances are I won't be able to change the perspective I've set on her about me.

Today, I addressed the issue and I told her that I don't like that she spends a lot of time with her guy friends and it turned into a big argument. Since they are having a party this saturday I asked her not to go there, but she declined my request since she couldn't say no to the guys who were there for her when I broke her heart.

Personally, I have grown very insecure about her and it's not healthy. P.S. I've stopped meeting new women since getting in a relationship with her.

 

[Thedoctor]

allanmogale,

I'm not sure if you're asking a question or just looking to vent. There really is no point in complaining about a situation when you already know what you did wrong and you know how to fix it: You need to go out and meet more women!

It doesn't matter whether you plan on staying with her or not. It will help you either way.

Based on your post, however, it seems like this is your second go at the relationship. And if this problem wasn't there the first time, then she's trying to position herself as the "leader" in the relationship. I would never advise to pursue a relationship on the second attempt, but if that's truly what you want to do, then you need to attempt to reverse her view of you being extremely insecure, which may not be possible at this point depending how much damage was done.

The choice is yours, obviously. But my advice is to move on.

-John

 

[Drck]

Agree with John. You are in a relationship and you don't like something on her behavior. If she really respect the relationship she should respect your wishes (to stop talking to more guys). It is your insecurity but it is understandable, no guy would want his GF to talk to and be friends with lots of other guys. If she is really interested in you and if she didn't want to lose you, she would not hesitate a second to change her habits. But she declined your request, she is going to see other guys, and she is already talking about broken heart... Maybe not hers, but yours...

Sorry bro, she is moving away from you, she is disrespecting you, and you will most likely lose her no matter what... If you try to get her back you will be chasing, and that she will perceive as even more weakness...

 

[Saintjah]

I definitely agree with the guys here. If a woman is posing herself as "leader" then she is testing you and will soon resent you for not standing up to her. IMO who cares if a girl has too many dude friends, and I even took a feminism class in college and the girls there had nothing positive to say about a female with many male friends. The contrary, I have had girls get pissed at me having too many female friends, saying the girls only wanted sex... obvious huh?

Save yourself the trouble and in the words of Tom Leykis... DTB!

 

[PinotNoir]

In isolation, this is no problem: "Girl has too many guy friends." As long as you are fulfilling her emotional and sexual needs, she's just going to view those guys as orbiters and "shopping guys." It's your job to fulfill her needs, pick a non-crazy-party girl, and to not be affected by guy friends.

However, this:

Since they are having a party this saturday I asked her not to go there, but she declined my request since she couldn't say no to the guys who were there for her when I broke her heart.

is not good. I agree with the others here. Dump this and move on.

You've just had an argument. You broke her heart in the past. She's going to be drunk at a party with guys that were "there for her" when you broke her heart in the past....

Find a new girl, man. Sorry.

 

[coolmike]

I agree with all of the replies above. Go out and start meeting and hanging out with other women and give her a taste of her own medicine.

Its a total win on your part to do this because once you start hanging around other women, you will start to be less and less emotionally vested in your girlfriend, and who knows you may probably meet someone much more respectful then her. Stop letting this girl push you around, and get out there and be the man you are destined to be.