Girl have a boyfriend - what's now?

[Radical Activity]

Hello everyone,

I have been a reader for about 2 months now and I really enjoy the articles of Chase, they teach me a lot actually! However these days I'm kinda stuck in a very bad situation, where I don't really know what to do and I'd like to ask for some experienced opinions here.

So I've met a girl about 6 months from now, she had a boyfriend, but we were both sympathizing with each other. Actually we didn't meet after that, just talked online for a while, but these conversations were quite rare actually. I got to know that she does not really Love her boyfriend, she just kinda likes him like a friend, but she can't let him go, because she kinda feels sorry for him, and so on... This girl doesn't have much confidence and she isn't really decisive actually.

So we've decided to meet up again after about 3 months and we've had a good time. Than we had a third "date" or what should I call it, while she had her boyfriend. We had fun there too. However these was no touching and nothing actually, because I thought she did not want anything at all from me. So after that we got disconnected for about 2 months...just a few conversations sometime.

When I've moved to the town where she lives, we got conneced again, and set up some meets. Actually the first one after the 2 month, was a party. I decided to go there with 2 of my firend and decided to invite her too. She wanted to get there with me, we had a great time (she might had a little much drink) so I've offered her that I take her to my apartment. She accepted and didn't want to go back to her palce for some reason, she insisted, that she wants to check out my new place. So we got there and actually it was kinda weird. I didn't want to puch her too hard and sleep with her, as she had some alcohol in her...instead of that, I just touched her a hands, arms, hair, neck several times. She didn't do anything against my escalation, but I didn't escelate more (now I think I might had to). So we were just sleeping and next day when we woke up, we've talked like 3 hours in the bed. After that I got her back to her place and that was it.

I kinda missed that nothing happened, but she didn't do anything to show, that she's interested in me, that's why I didn't make a move. After that, we meet up for like an additional 2 times that week in the afternoon and enjoyed ourselves. Than we decided to go to a party again (as it was her birthday 2 days after that), but this time just together, and I've also offered her that she can sleep at my apartment. She accepted it, and we went to the party. She was drinking some, again, there I've asked her, to tell me one thing she likes about me, and she told me, she likes my abs. I got her home at night, she got a shower and we went to bed actually. I tried to escalate, but she shoved a bit of resistance. I mean she was really bashful and didn't even want to sleep in her bra just in one of my t-shirts. She just insisted and insisted and insisted. So I got her one and we went to sleep. We were talking a bit, I was touching her a bit and she took it well, but didn't requite the gesture. Her hearth was racing high however, but she told me, when she drinks, it's always like that. Afterwards we just fell asleep and nothing happened at all! :/ In the morning we made some breakfast together and I've escorted her home.

After that, she had to go to her parents for the holidays and we've barely spoken since then, but she gave me a call after 2 days. I guess it's because when she's at her parents, and she doesn't really feel comfy writing to me, and / or busy. She also had some debate with her boyfriend this week cause it seems like she doesn't want to be with him anymore... She also told me (which is a rare thing that she's talking about her empotions), that she I mean much to her and she kinda likes me...

The problem with this girl is, that she's kinda conservative when it comes to kisses and sex. She did have her first sex after 1 years they got togethet with her current boyfriend, she didn't enjoy it, and didn't have one in the past 4-5 months. Also she had her first kiss from him after 4 months!!! She told me that she likes when man does not overlook her, and they need to respect her.

So here I am actually and I don't really know what to do next. Should I take her out again to my apartment and escalate things to the sex part or wait? Or Do thing differently? I've learned that this girl needs to be driven by a confident man (which I'm trying to be, but she's just shy and uncofident, and sometimes it make me less confident when I'm around her), who can drive her and give her directions.

Any experienced answer would be really great, she comes back in 2 days and I wanna do something to her / meet with her, etc. Also this girl is one of the rare ones. She's stunning, beautiful, one of the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen, and she is from the "good girls"! This is what's really rare these day, as I see these kind of women tend to have a much dirty life till this age.

By the way she's 21 and I'm 22. I hope someone can help me out! I would also be amazed if Chase or some of the professionals would answer to this question or even make a blog article about it.


P.S: I'm not a native english speaker, apologize for any mistakes.

 

[Escher]

It seems to me that this girl has you on the backburner as a potential boyfriend replacement. You have already started a poor precedent with her. She has come to know you as the guy who will be waiting around to get with her. You are afraid of making a sexual advance because you think you might lose her. She sees you as safe. She can have you around while she makes up her mind. She knows she can have you if she wants but doesn't see you as a dominant man. She is leading the interactions. I personaly would start making myself scarce. Spend a lot of time away from her doing other things (and meeting other woman) then after a while of being scarce and her wondering where you have been you hang out and just make the move and if she is not receptive to it start making yourself scarce again. Go out and start meeting other women. Don't just hang around waiting for her. Make your intentions clear and then let her come to you if she is interested. How do you make your intentions clear? Make a move on her. Just go for it. What do you have to lose? If she denys you then let it go, but don't just hang around waiting. If she resists because of her boyfriend just say "that is between the two of you, as far as I am concerned it is just you and me here right now". If she still resists just leave and tell her to call you when she changes her mind. Then go out meet other woman and move fast with them so you arer not stuck in this sort of situation.

 

[Smith]

Hey Radical,

I think this is your answer: https://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-has-boyfriend-3-things-do-and-7-things-not

I didn't want to puch her too hard and sleep with her, as she had some alcohol in her...instead of that, I just touched her a hands, arms, hair, neck several times. She didn't do anything against my escalation, but I didn't escelate more (now I think I might had to).

Not sure how much alcohol was in her, but if she wasn't THAT drunk, I think that was your chance to take her as your lover. Women love sex, no matter what they tell you otherwise, and that's why a little alcohol can lower any inhibition our logical brain put on us and let us follow our emotion. Hence, why she didn't give you any resistance! I'm surprised you didn't at least kiss her!

I kinda missed that nothing happened, but she didn't do anything to show, that she's interested in me, that's why I didn't make a move.

Reactions vs results brother! She's in your bed, that's what matters the most!

However, she gave you a second chance, and you didn't take it too. This time she's a little bit sober, so LMR is expected, and you have to overcome that. She wouldn't be in your bed if she doesn't want sex.

She's stunning, beautiful, one of the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen, and she is from the "good girls"! This is what's really rare these day, as I see these kind of women tend to have a much dirty life till this age.

I think your mindset is what's getting in your way. FIX THIS FIRST! You think some women are dirtier than the others when in fact they all love sex. Even "good girls" have fantasies! If you do meet these 'conservative' girls, you goal is not to be as conservative as them, but rather to get them open up about their sexuality. Trust me, they'll thank you later

All the best
smith

 

[Radical Activity]

It seems to me that this girl has you on the backburner as a potential boyfriend replacement. You have already started a poor precedent with her. She has come to know you as the guy who will be waiting around to get with her. You are afraid of making a sexual advance because you think you might lose her. She sees you as safe. She can have you around while she makes up her mind. She knows she can have you if she wants but doesn't see you as a dominant man. She is leading the interactions. I personaly would start making myself scarce. Spend a lot of time away from her doing other things (and meeting other woman) then after a while of being scarce and her wondering where you have been you hang out and just make the move and if she is not receptive to it start making yourself scarce again. Go out and start meeting other women. Don't just hang around waiting for her. Make your intentions clear and then let her come to you if she is interested. How do you make your intentions clear? Make a move on her. Just go for it. What do you have to lose? If she denys you then let it go, but don't just hang around waiting. If she resists because of her boyfriend just say "that is between the two of you, as far as I am concerned it is just you and me here right now". If she still resists just leave and tell her to call you when she changes her mind. Then go out meet other woman and move fast with them so you arer not stuck in this sort of situation.

Thanks for your answer! Yeah, you are probably right man! I'm still meeting with new girls by the way, because I didn't want to stuck in this situation forever. However she's the one, who I really wanna sleep with!

On the other hand, she's the one, who always texts me and ask how I am, etc. She also mentioned, that she's wondering why I don't text/call her often. Anyways, I take a vow on what you said, and I'll deifinetly move faster with her, if there will be a next situation like before. As you said I have nothing to loose, really! Thanks for the great help man!

 

[Radical Activity]

Hey Radical,

I think this is your answer: https://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-has-boyfriend-3-things-do-and-7-things-not

I didn't want to puch her too hard and sleep with her, as she had some alcohol in her...instead of that, I just touched her a hands, arms, hair, neck several times. She didn't do anything against my escalation, but I didn't escelate more (now I think I might had to).

Not sure how much alcohol was in her, but if she wasn't THAT drunk, I think that was your chance to take her as your lover. Women love sex, no matter what they tell you otherwise, and that's why a little alcohol can lower any inhibition our logical brain put on us and let us follow our emotion. Hence, why she didn't give you any resistance! I'm surprised you didn't at least kiss her!

I kinda missed that nothing happened, but she didn't do anything to show, that she's interested in me, that's why I didn't make a move.

Reactions vs results brother! She's in your bed, that's what matters the most!

However, she gave you a second chance, and you didn't take it too. This time she's a little bit sober, so LMR is expected, and you have to overcome that. She wouldn't be in your bed if she doesn't want sex.

She's stunning, beautiful, one of the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen, and she is from the "good girls"! This is what's really rare these day, as I see these kind of women tend to have a much dirty life till this age.

I think your mindset is what's getting in your way. FIX THIS FIRST! You think some women are dirtier than the others when in fact they all love sex. Even "good girls" have fantasies! If you do meet these 'conservative' girls, you goal is not to be as conservative as them, but rather to get them open up about their sexuality. Trust me, they'll thank you later

All the best
smith

Hey Smith, thanks for your reply too!

Yeah I have been reading that article like 3-4 times as it has some great content in it for sure! Yes, I'm sure my midset is in my way, I have to change that! I've been working on that in my last 2 months. I'm seeing quite a huge development already, but I need to learn a LOT more!

Now I'm confident what my next move will be with her, when it comes that we get to my apartment. You all are right, and I have to make this happen, I have waited a lot already. If she doesn't want me, than I shouldn't spend tiem with her.

Than you so much!