I'm pretty new to game, and have never been the sort to do cold approach, as I really don't like the club scene, and my house mates aren't big drinkers. A ridiculously hot girl once told my best friend that she thought I was very attractive, and must be a ladies man, so I guess my skills with girls aren’t terrible. I'm pretty confident, bordering arrogant, and quite intelligent, so I don't need people to say I'm acting beta or something like that. The only thing I have a problem with is that I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I’m 22 now, and was very shy and insecure up until about I was around 20.
I have another social circle though, of 3 girls from my university course. All very pretty, but I chose to make them friends in the beginning. One of them has drunkenly kissed me and been all up in me before, and I'm told (I was unaware) that another one of them really fancied me.
Anyway, I got introduced to one of their housemates about a year a go. We will call her Rosie. She had (still has) a boyfriend at this point, so I didn't try anything with her. She is quite a shy girl, and not a very talkative person (to the point that her best friend struggles to socialize with her). She is also incredibly pretty, and gets a fair bit of male attention, although she is mostly unaware of it.
I started to see her often through my social circle, and have spoken to her a bit, but I wouldn’t say she is a friend, in that I could call her up and we would hang out together. I mainly see her at parties. Needless to say, I’m quite attracted to her. However, with shy girls, I’m not sure what are good indicators that she is attracted to me. Here are a list of things that when I’ve told friends, they have said that these are good signs.
Anyway, around December last year, she was attending a Winter ball that I was also attending. I told her she should be my date, and she said she would love to. Unfortunately, her boyfriend found out about this arrangement, and insisted on coming.
About a month ago we were at a party. We were all drinking. We were playing a drinking game called b**ch, where the end game is you choose a person to drink. She kept picking me, which I guess was a kind of teasing thing? Later, as they were walking to a club, and I started walking back home, she shouted to me, and was like ‘lets link arms’ and then we had a pretty cool chat for like 40 minutes. She had been drinking, so I guess she was less inhibited, but I wouldn’t say she is the flirty type when drunk, from my observations of her with other guys.
We also played this party game, and in it, a guy friend had to kiss me. I mentioned something about how I hoped that wasn't the only action I would get that night. Afterwards, she came over and was like...do you want a hug? At the same party, we ended up all staying there, and I ended up sleeping next to her, on 2 under-bed mattresses (so we weren’t actually sharing a bed, but we might as well have been) and the next morning, Helen was making a big deal of it, saying me and rosie were cuddling during the night…I’m not sure if we were though..I was asleep.
we were both at a party in March time, at a house. I noticed her staring at me sometimes, and standing next to me for quite a while. She also asked me if I wanted some of her ice cream at one point, and then fed it to me before I had the chance to grab the spoon. She didn't object to me touching her leg when talking to her, and didn't resist me pulling her up to dance at all, so I guess I got her to ‘move’. Then, when I was leaving, and hugging the host goodbye, she got out of her chair, from the other side of the room, and came to hug me goodbye.
We were also in a shop last week, and I was fucking around with some hair clips or something (I have longish hair) and she reached out and ran her hands through my hair saying that my hair was probably long enough to use the hairclips.
I guess I’m interpreting the hugging/touching as her trying to be affectionate, without it being overt, because of the nature of the social circle.
She also messaged me on facebook a while a go (I don’t really use it) and sent me a link to some Game of Thrones memes (we bonded over it) saying that she thought I might like it.
All these things have happened over the past 6/7 months (as I said, I really don’t see her that often).I feel we are partly constrained by the fact that I’m very close with her best friends, who she lives, as well as the fact that one of them, Helen, was quite into me.
And now for a boyfriend. Her friends hate him. I’ve met him, and he is kind of stupid. He seems quite oblivious to the real world, and can’t even work out how to use skype. He seems like a well meaning guy. They met via one-night stand, and then their relationship just evolved from there. Rosie speaks quite disparagingly of him, saying he is stupid and not very classy. However, apparently he can be a bit nasty when he gets drunk, and my friend Helen, has told me before that Rosie has rang, in floods of tears saying she is going to break up with him, but then doesn’t. I suspect this is due to insecurity, and the value –giving nature of a relationship compared to being single.
As I said, she is very hard to talk to. To the point where I’ll ask her open ended questions, and get a very short answer. I asked my friend Helen about this at the beginning, and she said Rosie has always been like that. However, she has shown signs of interest, at least so other have told me.
I know Chase says to stop waiting for the perfect time to ask her out, and to move fast, but there literally never is a chance. I only really see her when I socialise with that group of people, and its difficult to get her alone.
Anyway, am I at risk of being friendzoned, due to not acting fast enough. Is it salvageable? How do I deal with the boyfriend angle?
tl;dr
Girl in my social circle. Seems to be attracted to me. Constrained by fact she has boyfriend, and her best friend used to/still does fancy me. Also worry about freindzone or attraction expiration due to length of time I've known her. Not going for the lay here, aiming for trying a relationship at least.
Anyway help/advice would be great!
I have another social circle though, of 3 girls from my university course. All very pretty, but I chose to make them friends in the beginning. One of them has drunkenly kissed me and been all up in me before, and I'm told (I was unaware) that another one of them really fancied me.
Anyway, I got introduced to one of their housemates about a year a go. We will call her Rosie. She had (still has) a boyfriend at this point, so I didn't try anything with her. She is quite a shy girl, and not a very talkative person (to the point that her best friend struggles to socialize with her). She is also incredibly pretty, and gets a fair bit of male attention, although she is mostly unaware of it.
I started to see her often through my social circle, and have spoken to her a bit, but I wouldn’t say she is a friend, in that I could call her up and we would hang out together. I mainly see her at parties. Needless to say, I’m quite attracted to her. However, with shy girls, I’m not sure what are good indicators that she is attracted to me. Here are a list of things that when I’ve told friends, they have said that these are good signs.
Anyway, around December last year, she was attending a Winter ball that I was also attending. I told her she should be my date, and she said she would love to. Unfortunately, her boyfriend found out about this arrangement, and insisted on coming.
About a month ago we were at a party. We were all drinking. We were playing a drinking game called b**ch, where the end game is you choose a person to drink. She kept picking me, which I guess was a kind of teasing thing? Later, as they were walking to a club, and I started walking back home, she shouted to me, and was like ‘lets link arms’ and then we had a pretty cool chat for like 40 minutes. She had been drinking, so I guess she was less inhibited, but I wouldn’t say she is the flirty type when drunk, from my observations of her with other guys.
We also played this party game, and in it, a guy friend had to kiss me. I mentioned something about how I hoped that wasn't the only action I would get that night. Afterwards, she came over and was like...do you want a hug? At the same party, we ended up all staying there, and I ended up sleeping next to her, on 2 under-bed mattresses (so we weren’t actually sharing a bed, but we might as well have been) and the next morning, Helen was making a big deal of it, saying me and rosie were cuddling during the night…I’m not sure if we were though..I was asleep.
we were both at a party in March time, at a house. I noticed her staring at me sometimes, and standing next to me for quite a while. She also asked me if I wanted some of her ice cream at one point, and then fed it to me before I had the chance to grab the spoon. She didn't object to me touching her leg when talking to her, and didn't resist me pulling her up to dance at all, so I guess I got her to ‘move’. Then, when I was leaving, and hugging the host goodbye, she got out of her chair, from the other side of the room, and came to hug me goodbye.
We were also in a shop last week, and I was fucking around with some hair clips or something (I have longish hair) and she reached out and ran her hands through my hair saying that my hair was probably long enough to use the hairclips.
I guess I’m interpreting the hugging/touching as her trying to be affectionate, without it being overt, because of the nature of the social circle.
She also messaged me on facebook a while a go (I don’t really use it) and sent me a link to some Game of Thrones memes (we bonded over it) saying that she thought I might like it.
All these things have happened over the past 6/7 months (as I said, I really don’t see her that often).I feel we are partly constrained by the fact that I’m very close with her best friends, who she lives, as well as the fact that one of them, Helen, was quite into me.
And now for a boyfriend. Her friends hate him. I’ve met him, and he is kind of stupid. He seems quite oblivious to the real world, and can’t even work out how to use skype. He seems like a well meaning guy. They met via one-night stand, and then their relationship just evolved from there. Rosie speaks quite disparagingly of him, saying he is stupid and not very classy. However, apparently he can be a bit nasty when he gets drunk, and my friend Helen, has told me before that Rosie has rang, in floods of tears saying she is going to break up with him, but then doesn’t. I suspect this is due to insecurity, and the value –giving nature of a relationship compared to being single.
As I said, she is very hard to talk to. To the point where I’ll ask her open ended questions, and get a very short answer. I asked my friend Helen about this at the beginning, and she said Rosie has always been like that. However, she has shown signs of interest, at least so other have told me.
I know Chase says to stop waiting for the perfect time to ask her out, and to move fast, but there literally never is a chance. I only really see her when I socialise with that group of people, and its difficult to get her alone.
Anyway, am I at risk of being friendzoned, due to not acting fast enough. Is it salvageable? How do I deal with the boyfriend angle?
tl;dr
Girl in my social circle. Seems to be attracted to me. Constrained by fact she has boyfriend, and her best friend used to/still does fancy me. Also worry about freindzone or attraction expiration due to length of time I've known her. Not going for the lay here, aiming for trying a relationship at least.
Anyway help/advice would be great!
