Girl left during sleepover, gone when i woke up

[dingdong]

Hello
So i had a girl over Wednesday night. We chilled out, had sex, watched a movie and had some snacks, had sex on and off and then we went to sleep together. Apparently she had some argument with her sister she lives with and she said she should probably get home before she wakes up but i told her it was late at night and that she shouldn't walk home now, but sleep with me until the next morning and then go back. She agreed to do so, but put her alarm at 6.30. I told her not to, because it was too early and would wake me up, but she said it wouldn't and i thought whatever. Then we went to sleep together. Thursday morning i wake up and she is gone next to me, so i get up to see she isn't in my apartment. So creepy, so she left me during the night without dropping me atleast a note/text saying why? Actually she should have woken me up and told me she's going home now, but nope, nothing. I thought that was bad behaviour and not a proper way to treat me, but i see she drew "<3 merry christmas" with red lipstick on my mirror. Woow, a girl full of mystique.

I decided my course was going to be soft nexting her to punish bad behaviour (going ghost until she reaches out, withdrawing attention) and then tell her that vanishing without a trace wasn't a nice thing to do. Your thoughts?

Cheers

 

[Tr1cky]

She told you she needed to leave. She finally gives in and stays but tries to set her alarm for 630 and you say "no that will wake me up".


She proceeds to leave quietly in the morning without waking you up and you're planning on soft nexting her for this?

 

[topcat]

Nope. She did nothing wrong here. Sit tight and she’ll be in touch eventually. When she does leave her be.

If you lay down the law you risk coming off needy and butt hurt. She’ll think you’re crazy and you’ll lose her for certain. In her head she was compromising in your favour.

Needs to leave -> doesn’t want to wake you -> also wants to send a message that things are cool between you, hence cute lipstick message.

I’d advise you get used to this. As you rack up lays some girls are going to legitimately ghost you. And it will be maddening and confusing at first. Acting butt hurt is the worst thing you can do in this situation. Seek abundance.

 

[Teevster]

So, what exactly is odd or disrespectful with her behaviour?

 

[Beam]

Agree with the above. She already told you why she needed to leave the night before (hence it didn't make sense to leave a note/text explaining why). She said it wouldn't wake you up, you thought whatever but did you explicitly tell her not to set it after that? She might have taken the silence as literally a "whatever, go ahead'. You said you didn't want to wake up early, so how was she supposed to know you wouldn't be angry if she woke you up to tell you she was leaving? The girl isn't a mind reader, she sounds like a sweet girl who did what in her mind was best for both of you.

 

[dingdong]

She told you she needed to leave. She finally gives in and stays but tries to set her alarm for 630 and you say "no that will wake me up".


She proceeds to leave quietly in the morning without waking you up and you're planning on soft nexting her for this?

She didn't say she was gonna leave, she just threw it out there like "I probably should be back before she wakes up" and i say "No stay here till the morning" and she goes along with it. She's an early riser, last time we were together she got up early and ate some cookies and then went to bed again. I'm not sure why she set her alarm so early, but how i felt it out was that we were gonna sleep together. She didn't say anything before she left or left me a text saying she decided to walk home. She was just gone the next morning. She should have said something.

 

[dingdong]

@Tr1cky @topcat @Beam @Teevster
I see what you are saying. But she said that she probably should be home when her sister wakes up and as i understood it, she dropped that idea in favour of sleeping with me. It was 3 at night and she wanted to walk home, i say no stay here and sleep and walk back after we sleep, she agrees, puts her alarm at 6.30 (dont know why, probably left there), i tell her it will wake me up, she says no, we lay down in bed and fall asleep. Next morning she is gone. She never said she would leave at 6.30 and it was never anything definite that she HAD to be back when her sister wakes up, the way i understood it, she more or less threw it out there like a statement, like "i should lose weight" or "i should re-arrange my desk" etc. She never said she was gonna do it.

So bottomline, she didn't say the alarm was to get up and leave and she never said she actually was gonna leave. She should atleast have left me a text saying "Hey, hope you slept well, i decided to walk home before you woke up, thanks for a good time" or something.

 

[dingdong]

But reading what you guys said, i'm 95% sure that's the way she understood it is the same as you, we must have misunderstood one another. When i went to sleep with her next to me i had no idea the alarm was meant for her to get up early and sneak out without waking me up. If that's the case, her lipstick message seems pretty cute in retrospect and there is no reason to soft next her or pull some other shit from the arsenal. I probably missed something she said. She isn't the type of girl to act in weird ways either.

Maybe just text her something like "The lipstick won't come off..." tomorrow morning? Haha

 

[Beam]

She should atleast have left me a text saying "Hey, hope you slept well, i decided to walk home before you woke up, thanks for a good time" or something.

To me the lipstick message on the mirror pretty much says this already.

 

[Teevster]

When i went to sleep with her next to me i had no idea the alarm was meant for her to get up early and sneak out without waking me up.

Read this... and put it in light of what you wrote earlier:

She agreed to do so, but put her alarm at 6.30. I told her not to, because it was too early and would wake me up, but she said it wouldn't and i thought whatever

I mean... she was just trying to not wake you up. How is this being disrespectful.

SHE EVEN wrote merry Christmas with her lipstick to you. That's like the cutest thing a girl can do.

I really don't get you. Apparently you have significant need of controlling others of something. I just found this whole post odd.

Best,
Teevster

 

[dingdong]

Read this... and put it in light of what you wrote earlier:



I mean... she was just trying to not wake you up. How is this being disrespectful.

SHE EVEN wrote merry Christmas with her lipstick to you. That's like the cutest thing a girl can do.

I really don't get you. Apparently you have significant need of controlling others of something. I just found this whole post odd.

Best,
Teevster

It is not disrespectful not to wanna wake someone up. Lol. What i thought was disrespectful, from the way i understood it then, to agree to have a sleep over and fall asleep together and then just leave during the night without saying why. From that perspective i find it disrespectful.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I think you like the girl, but she's not there yet.

So, don't force it.