Girl shows blatant interest, but later mentions she has a boyfriend

[dsdezzy]

There is this girl (HB9) in my American Studies class that was trying to subtly check me out (looking out of her periphials and etc.) during class last week. I didn't talk to her that class (first class and such).

The next time we had class, I sat next to her (unlike last class), she was still showing signs of interest. We ended up in the same small group in class and while everyone was talking, I could feel her foot lightly brush against my leg (clearly on purpose in a non-sexual manner). I didn't move my leg.

Anyway... when class was over I noticed she was carrying two purses, I commented to her about her purses and so forth. Right as we began to go our separate ways back home, I got her number (I failed to ask her out, I know rookie mistake) and she mentioned if I needed notes from class if I'm not there, to just text her.
As we wrapped up our conversation and right as I was about to walk to the fraternity house, it looked like she was expecting me to say or do something right at that moment (not sure what, probably ask her out, or it could just be me).

I texted her shortly after "It's xxxxxx. The hot black guy in History class." (1/9 3:27 p.m.)

I got no reply after that text. Didn't really expect a text back from it. ("it's whatever" is what I was thinking)

I text her the next day "Hope you're not carrying two purses haha. How has your day been? (1/10 2:58 p.m.) (joke from earlier)

She finally texted me back Sunday morning with "Sorry, I'm in a relationship right now and I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate me texting you! I'm sorry!" (1/11 10:22 a.m.) (Which she legitimately does)

I replied later that evening with "He doesn't let you meet other people?" (1/11 5:13 p.m.) (No reply)

We had class together today and I got there before her and when she arrived she went to sit away from me (I kinda expected this). I kind of glanced over at me (I think, not really sure). During our class discussion, after I had voiced my opinion about whatever the topic was to the class, she immediately voiced her's (coincidence?).

Throughout the class today, I ignored her (except when she was talking in class discussion) and did not talk to her after class.

Now after my long winded story, I ask:

Is it still possible for me to persist with any luck, or move on?

 

[ray_zorse]

Classic case of missed escalation window, she either didn't have a boyfriend or didn't care about him, until she changed her mind and decided she hates you now (usual result of missed window) and used it as a logical reason to back up her emotion and get rid of you. NEXT.
-Ray

 

[dsdezzy]

She definitely had a boyfriend.

So my downfall was failing to invite her out?

 

[ProblemSolving]

So my downfall was failing to invite her out?

Haha, no man. You didn't fail at anything. It's easy for guys to see what they want to see when interacting with girls. "She looked at me. She talked to me. She laughed at my jokes. She gave me her number. She MUST want my cock!" Wrong, this means nothing.

If you truly want to see where you stand with a chick, invite her out to meet up later or invite her back to your place. Either way, you find out if she's interested in or not. Everything else is mental masturbation.

Is it still possible for me to persist with any luck, or move on?

This chick you're describing was never interested, so don't feel bad about "failing". Move on to the next one that IS interested.

 

[ray_zorse]

You said it...

it looked like she was expecting me to say or do something right at that moment

If your instincts are correct, and they usually are, there's your missed escalation window, that's basically the definition. I assume she wanted you to lead her back to the frat house against her will and give her the D, what do u think?

I can't discount what ProblemSolving says though, it's your call what you want to take away from this interaction, you were there, we weren't.

But asking you not to text her again, then ignoring your text, well she's a dead duck, she can't communicate disinterest any clearer than that. Be grateful for her straightforwardness (rather than giving you false hope and making you orbiter), chalk it up to experience and move on.

-Ray

 

[dsdezzy]

I guess I do try to fish for the signs of interest before I actually approach a girl. Which I'm sure is slightly counterproductive (I guess this is why they say always assume attraction...?)

Being a not-so-great texter/interpreter of sub communication has me slightly unsure what a girl's text actually mean (unless they're emojis and such).

She had to go to work right after class (just a side note)

Ray I appreciate the insight btw.

 

[ProblemSolving]

I guess I do try to fish for the signs of interest before I actually approach a girl.

No man, you did fine. Every approach is good. You found out she wasn't sexually available, so you can cross her off the list and focus on new prospects - this is a good thing.

The only thing I would've done differently is either invite her out after class, "Hey, come grab coffee with me" or get the number with the pretense that you're going to meet up later, "We should grab coffee/hang out sometime" while handing her your phone. Doing things this way gets your point across a lot more directly so there's no guessing as to why you want her number, and it gives her the opportunity to gracefully bow out, "I can't, I have a boyfriend." This way you get the rejection upfront and avoid the awkward rejection over text.

You can tell she thought the number exchange was purely platonic by her response:

she mentioned if I needed notes from class if I'm not there, to just text her.

She's thinking study buddy.

I texted her shortly after "It's xxxxxx. The hot black guy in History class.

Here is where you showed your true intent. Here is where she finds out you're not just trying to be her study buddy. She doesn't respond because she's not sexually available.

Being a not-so-great texter/interpreter of sub communication has me slightly unsure what a girl's text actually mean (unless they're emojis and such).

There's nothing really to interpret. You took the number of a sexually unavailable girl and she let you know it. Cross her off the list and approach more girls.

 

[Man-O]

Reminds me a lot about myself a few months back. I'd keep asking myself "wtf am I doing wrong? What did I miss in my conversation or texting?! I want to get better, I need to see in the small details." And it all comes down to mental masturbation or/and over thinking, wasting my time and in worst case frustration.

Girls acquire numbers because:
a: Validation
b: Don't know how to say no
c: They give you number for something else you had in mind like friends. (in your case studying).
d: They see you as a future partner.
e: They see you as sex buddy.

d and e are what you want.

The cure to this is to frame yourself as the sexual man. Show your intent and don't waste too much time on texting. You'll soon realize a lot of the times when you acquire numbers and text with them they'll flake or give excuses when asking them on a date and immediately you know she was a time-waster unless your text game is rly bad.

The more you text with girls the more in fz you'll get.

 

[dsdezzy]

Again thanks for the help everyone. I see what you mean regarding overthinking. I guess it boils down to the fact I have to improve my fundamentals more so than I have thus far.