Girl thinks im not messing with any girls at all

[Sub-Zero]

This girl im dealing with assumes that I don't mess with any girls at all, and that im a good guy. We talk a lot, but only fuck once a week, and I've told her i don't want her as a girlfriend. She's like a very close friend to me, so we talk a lot, but i still do mess with, and sleep with other girls while we still talk. She says she likes that i don't fuck other girls, and i don't want to be a dick and tell her what I do, i keep it to myself.

My problem is, I just don't want her to think she's got me and that im not fuckin girls on the side because i take it as an insult when she says that. im like how do you figure?

I call her back hours after she calls me because im busy, i don't tell her shit about what i do Besides other things in my life.

I just don't want her thinking im some good boy. How can i imply this more without hurting her? Or should i leave it alone?

 

[Troy]

Sub-zero / Money

Have you flirted with other girls in front of her? I suggest you flirt hard with a couple girls and let her know you can do stuff and she isn't your one and only pretty princess. A situation like this arrises when the girl doesn't know you have options. What kind of girl is she by the way? I had this chick that treated me like that and at the time we always met just to chill. She never saw me talking to other girls. Then one day I was in the city talking to another girl and she saw me and from then she stopped telling me I have no options, she respected me far more.

Think preselection bro!

Troy

 

[Sub-Zero]

Sub-zero / Money

Have you flirted with other girls in front of her? I suggest you flirt hard with a couple girls and let her know you can do stuff and she isn't your one and only pretty princess. A situation like this arrises when the girl doesn't know you have options. What kind of girl is she by the way? I had this chick that treated me like that and at the time we always met just to chill. She never saw me talking to other girls. Then one day I was in the city talking to another girl and she saw me and from then she stopped telling me I have no options, she respected me far more.

Think preselection bro!

Troy

She's a nice girl, i guess because we talk so much she just assumes it. I feel it's more of her thinking im not a fucked up person who would do that to her Because im nice to her. It's not a big deal to me, it's just I don't want her to think that I'm not doing anything and that we're a couple or something. It's hard for me to say i do have other girls without me breaking her heart.

 

[Franco]

Sub-Zero,

It sounds to me like you're totally thinking about this the wrong way. This girl is glad you're not hooking up with other girls because she knows it gives her a better chance to settle into something long-term with you.

Remember: actions speak louder than words.

You told this girl you aren't interested in having a girlfriend, but then you also told her you don't sleep with other girls, and you see her once a week. What does that communicate to her? It communicates to her that she's your only sexual/love interest right now. And while you say you don't want something long-term now, she's playing it cool and hoping that she can bring you into a relationship eventually.

The first mistake you made was telling her you don't sleep with other girls. You never have to explicitly admit that you do sleep with other girls, but telling her you don't sleep with other girls is a either a lie that she's going to trap you in, or it's a truth that she's holding onto as a hope to get you into something more committed over time.

I definitely wouldn't use any pre-selection here or she's really going to get upset. If you think you can sleep with other girls on the side without her figuring it out, then you're more than welcome to, but just be warned that if she finds out you lied to her, there will be a hurricane of drama coming your way. At that point (or basically before that if you care about her), you should probably end the friends-with-benefits arrangement so that you don't hurt her.

- Franco

 

[Zoro]

Its funny how a relationship takes it shape from the very beginning. It's like magma, mold-able when its hot and new, but once it cools and solidifies any major changes are likely to break it up!

My most satisfying and stable relationship was formed taking the advice given here from GC down to the letter. It was hot and heavy for well past the expiration date of a casual relationship and when it ended it was drama free and quiet. It felt like a natural masculine, feminine dynamic and it was pretty amazing, I like to think for the both of us.

Franco has said before that the advice for picking up girls here is great, but the real gem is the relationship advice. After having that experience with this girl, I have to say so far I agree. Looking forward to more great relationships.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Sub-Zero,

It sounds to me like you're totally thinking about this the wrong way. This girl is glad you're not hooking up with other girls because she knows it gives her a better chance to settle into something long-term with you.

Remember: actions speak louder than words.

You told this girl you aren't interested in having a girlfriend, but then you also told her you don't sleep with other girls, and you see her once a week. What does that communicate to her? It communicates to her that she's your only sexual/love interest right now. And while you say you don't want something long-term now, she's playing it cool and hoping that she can bring you into a relationship eventually.

The first mistake you made was telling her you don't sleep with other girls. You never have to explicitly admit that you do sleep with other girls, but telling her you don't sleep with other girls is a either a lie that she's going to trap you in, or it's a truth that she's holding onto as a hope to get you into something more committed over time.

I definitely wouldn't use any pre-selection here or she's really going to get upset. If you think you can sleep with other girls on the side without her figuring it out, then you're more than welcome to, but just be warned that if she finds out you lied to her, there will be a hurricane of drama coming your way. At that point (or basically before that if you care about her), you should probably end the friends-with-benefits arrangement so that you don't hurt her.

- Franco

no franco, i meant i don't tell her that i do sleep with other girls. I don't tell her what i do with other girls that's what i meant.

 

[Idle Billy]

The other girls, and i don't want to be a dick and tell her what I do, i keep it to myself.

So you've told the other gals? Personally, I wouldn't gossip myself

My problem is, I just don't want her to think she's got me and that im not fuckin girls on the side because i take it as an insult when she says that. im like how do you figure?

So you want her to know that you're sleeping around so you can brag about it to her?

Wake up! You're getting sex with a girl you don't love. So if she's just about able to deceive herself(without your help) to think you're not sleeping around, then count your lucky stars and let it be that way. And remember, that long term with this girl, there's no need to be cruel for the sake of being cruel.

All this assuming you're not gonna get caught with the others girls

 

[Franco]

Sub,

This girl im dealing with assumes that I don't mess with any girls at all, and that im a good guy.

Why is she assuming this then? Or are you saying she just randomly throws stuff like that out to see how you react? i.e. "That sex was amazing! I'm so glad that I'm the only girl that gets it from you..." (then she watches to see how you react).

Either way, if a girl even cares whether or not you're seeing other women, it's likely because she wants to know what the odds are of taking a guy like you into an exclusive relationship. So just keep that in mind!

- Franco

 

[Sub-Zero]

Sub,

This girl im dealing with assumes that I don't mess with any girls at all, and that im a good guy.

Why is she assuming this then? Or are you saying she just randomly throws stuff like that out to see how you react? i.e. "That sex was amazing! I'm so glad that I'm the only girl that gets it from you..." (then she watches to see how you react).

Either way, if a girl even cares whether or not you're seeing other women, it's likely because she wants to know what the odds are of taking a guy like you into an exclusive relationship. So just keep that in mind!

- Franco

Yes that's almosy exactly what she says! For no reason. I treat her very good, and all we do is fuck, chill, n talk. No dates and we fuck only once a week. I don't want her to think were an item, but I do care for her and like spending time with her, i don't want to commit my self though, and i don't want to hurt her.

 

[Franco]

Sub,

Yes that's almosy exactly what she says! For no reason. I treat her very good, and all we do is fuck, chill, n talk. No dates and we fuck only once a week. I don't want her to think were an item, but I do care for her and like spending time with her, i don't want to commit my self though, and i don't want to hurt her.

Well, as long as you've already mentioned to her that you don't want her as a girlfriend and as long as you aren't doing things that indicate that you DO want her as a girlfriend (i.e. seeing her more than once a week, taking her out on dates, meeting her friends, etc.), then you're fine.

Girls are sneaky in the way they word things sometimes in order to get what they want, and she may be trying to rope you into something down the line by showering you with compliments while inserting comments like that (to see how you react). As long as you maintain the same frame, treat her well, and don't do anything "more" for her that indicates that you would want more, then I don't see a problem with it. Just be careful if this girl tries to rope you into doing other things with her that fill the boyfriend role -- at that point, it might be best to end the FWB relationship because she obviously wants you for something more and is going to end up hurting herself in the long run by letting her emotions slowly grow on the inside for you.

- Franco