Girl thought I was Gay?

[Cassy]

I went on a date today with this girl who has a nice set of boobs too sexy.. We chatted at a park for like 2 hours, and at the end I tried to go in for a kiss and she gave me her cheek, I tried to persist a little but wouldnt. Anyway I went home and phoned her for a lil chat, and then she asked me if am gay or straight? Which is ridiculous coz am straight and no one has ever asked me that. She said I acted a lil gay. I asked my female and male friends bout this and they all said she's crazy, I dont act gay. When I met her I was dressed in pretty well fashion but nuthing gay, I have a top fade haircut with short dreadlocks in my hair (am black), and I pierced my ears so I was wearing stud earings. I also applied some perfume so I was smelling great! I'v also had a gay guy hit on me in the past before after I started working on my fashion. So was just wondering what this girl meant. Have any of you been thought of as being gay? And what does that mean? Just curious

 

[Cassy]

*Sorry, I meant i'v had a gay guy hit on me in the past AFTER I started working on my fashion*

 

[andersen09]

I went on a date today with this girl who has a nice set of boobs too sexy.. We chatted at a park for like 2 hours, and at the end I tried to go in for a kiss and she gave me her cheek, I tried to persist a little but wouldnt. Anyway I went home and phoned her for a lil chat, and then she asked me if am gay or straight? Which is ridiculous coz am straight and no one has ever asked me that. She said I acted a lil gay. I asked my female and male friends bout this and they all said she's crazy, I dont act gay. When I met her I was dressed in pretty well fashion but nuthing gay, I have a top fade haircut with short dreadlocks in my hair (am black), and I pierced my ears so I was wearing stud earings. I also applied some perfume so I was smelling great! I'v also had a gay guy hit on me in the past before after I started working on my fashion. So was just wondering what this girl meant. Have any of you been thought of as being gay? And what does that mean? Just curious

Hey man, this usually happens when you start changing something about yourself. BUT the new image you're conveying is little bit incongruent with your image. As an extreme example

A nerd who plays WOW all of the sudden dresses in suits but still talks about wow.
(Girls perspective: Hmm.. this guys is dressed nice and probably into business, I wonder what type of work he does? Why is he talking about games? Is that why he keeps slouching because he actually just plays games all day? Why is he wearing a suit? There's something incongruent here, let me poke around to see)

And it's funny because I actually went through the same thing. I got my style changed from high school and started getting comments like "oh wow, what a fashionista" "are you gay?"

It's because when you begin something, they sense a bit of incongruence, and test you to see if you're the real deal. So there's two things you should be aware of.

1. These feedbacks are awesome "disguised as tests" because it lets you know, you are getting better yet there's something that needs to be improved more to be believable. So when she tests you to say "are you gay" just pass it in flying colors

In the beginning, I was little reactive to and surprised cause it came out of nowhere, but I started perceiving as a compliment and owning it.
"are you gay?" "of course I am, that's why I'm talking to you" (Smiling)

2. Be more monitoring of your behaviors, tones, fundamentals. If you're behaving like your oldself, see what IMAGE you're portraying to the people, and adopt behaviors/tonality/verbiage that reflects that image.

(Image of a R&B Guy acts different to say a Image of a Rapper)

And keep improving. You'll see this pattern every time you improve. People will poke fun at you/test you/make remarks, it's a sign that they see you're being different (if they know you) OR they thought you were a certain person (but little bit off) and need a bit more improvements in other areas other than your style/hair. I.E Behavior, Verbiage, Non-Verbals, Confidence

BTW, This gay thing used to be a clutch for me, but it's almost like a value thing now. I tell a story of some well dressed gay guy hitting on me non chalantly. And the girls reply "well, that's a good thing! gay guys have super good tastes.. (They also get so sad when I find out a guy they were hoping would be straight is gay)

 

[Cassy]

Thats a nice explantion.. My image is that of a bad boy pretty boy guy, someone you wouldnt perceive to be in business, especially the hair and the tattoos (although she dint see my tattoos coz I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, but maybe she saw them on one of my facebook pictures coz thats where I got her line ans knew her). A few things I told her about me are:
-am a Web programmer
-then I showed her my tech startup business website/video ad, (since she started talking about business)
and that
-I love reading self-help books

I dont know if what I do is incongruent with my image?

 

[Bboy100]

I wouldn't worry about it. I've had a LOT of girls tell I give off the impression that I'm gay. Doesn't really stop me from smashing them. I can recall two instances of girls who I fucked who literally thought I was gay a few hours prior.
As for the girl at the park...she just wasn't into you. Has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.