Girl wants commitment, but she lives 3 hours away

[normanreedus]

I've been dating this girl for 2.5 months. I live in Dallas, and she live a little over 3 hours away outside Houston. For the first 2 months, everything was great. She was crazy about me and we had little drama.

About 3 weeks ago, she asked, "What do you think about *us*?" I said, "I like it. I think we're great together." But I didn't go any further or commit to an exclusive relationship. Since then, she's slowly become more and more overt about it. She has been creating lots of drama over small issues, manufacturing emotional storms about things that were not a problem before. The best answer I can give her is, "I really enjoy spending time with you. I care about you so much and love spending as much time as I can with you. Let's just see where this goes." We're supposed to see each other in a few days to meet at a midpoint for a day date, but now she is saying things things like with the way things are going she's not sure if she'll be around by Sunday.

Reasons for my hesitation:
1. She lives 3 hours away. If we lived in the same city and she asked for an exclusive relationship, I would be cool with that. But that basically leaves every M-F where I can't see her in person. I think she is fine with the distance and recently applied for a new job that she really wants in the city she currently lives. She hasn't said a word about potentially living in the same city.
2. I want the freedom to keep my options open. She doesn't lose anything from entering into an exclusive relationship (she is a serial monogamist), but I lose a lot. I have other girls on the side that I am sleeping with from time to time, but I don't consider any of them relationship material. I'm afraid having her as the sole source of intimacy and sex in my life will weaken me as a man.
3. I want some kind of guarantees that if we do become exclusive, she will take care of herself in terms of diet and exercise and not let herself go. I don't think this is something I can realistically negotiate for, but it is something I want.

Here's the rub:
I do consider her relationship material. I don't think I've ever felt like this about a girl before. This is not a girl I am willing to walk away from. In a way, she has the power here. If I was forced to pick between an exclusive relationship with her or her walking away completely, I would absolutely pick the relationship.

 

[Fuck This]

Well be straight up with her. Any girl who is "relationship material" would respect that. What are your relationship "must haves" Write them down. Does she meet them? Convey them to her and that those are the things you like about her.

Personally a "weekend girlfriend" would be about perfect from my perspective.. Nothing beats Reunion sex.
Talk to her about how long that 3 hour distance is going to last. Is there a solid end date? If you can't wait that long...Say it.

The wild card here is have you fully explored local options? Is there another girl who has all those check marks in your must haves? Not sure how young you are, but the 20-25 year old age bracket women are looking to lock down a provider and father. The 30 year olds are getting out of the marriages to their High school/college sweethearts and raising their school age kids. The 40 year olds are exploring their freedom as the kids get older and require less hands on attention, and the 50 year olds now value their freedom and don't want to change for anybody. The 60 year olds are looking for a companion to grow older with.

Nothing wrong with Settling down if you are ready to. Emphasis on Ready. Career where you want it, Living in a part of the world you want to raise kids, Willing to commit time to a family and partner out of your personal time....Then it is just a matter of letting the right woman join you in that journey.

As for her "staying in shape",no advice for you there. Women unless they are genetically thin body type are going to have to work harder and harder to keep off weight as they age. Check out her mother if you want a snapshot of 20 years down the line both in attitude and physical shape, health and fitness.