FR Girl was in my bed but what happened? Im so confused

[DavyTee94]

There is this one chick who I know, blonde, cute face, busty boobs and an ASS to die for. We've seen one another on a few occasions at parties and on the school campus. This girl is also from my buddy's home town so they pretty much grew up together. Although me and blondie never really spoke beyond a few drunken small talk, most of our interactions result in her laughing and a few casual flirty looks but nothing else. And last night, my boys and I were pre-gaming with a group of girls over at their house to celebrate some girl's birth date, so were just chilling and sipping on the balcony having a fun time and Im getting to know the girls there. Initially, I was feeling out these two other girls over at the pre game and was not paying much attention to blondie since she came in a little later(we greeted one another) Hour or two later, the first group of girls decided to take the walk down to the bar including blondie but i decided to stay since i knew the girl I was currently talking to was interested in me, and my original plan was to get with her, we walked down to the bar only to have my id denied so I decided to head over to my other friends house for a game of poker. Came 1 Am ( its a school night) I decided to head back to my apartment, I walked in the house and I see blondie with my boy ( the kid from her town). Now at this point, everyone is pretty much asleep. There were just the three of us, blondie happened to be at my place since one of her girlfriend aka bday girl was in the next room fucking my roomate. Me, my boy, and blondie chill for a little bit and my boy goes, hey Im gonna go home now, and blondie says: " oh hey I think Im gonna stay here" and right then I knew she wanted to be alone with me and she did have an excuse because she was allegedly waiting for her girlfriend to finish smashing and walk home together whatever. So my boy leaves and I head back into my room and blondie followed me right in and sat on the bottom edge corner of my bed. This is the part im confused with, shes sitting there but shes not speaking to me and seems very distracted on her phone, I sat right next to her my legs pressed against her sitting at the edge of my bed and were talking some bull shit, and I was like oh hey lets move up a little bit and she's like noo if I lay down Im gonna fall asleep and I have to go home with (girl my roomates fucking). At this point I didnt know how to smoothely, escalate maybe should have placed my hand on her lap or something? and the lights were on sicne I've yet to purchase dimmer lights. I once asked again for her to lay down shes like no I haveto be up early for class and i told her that my phone alarm was loud. After sitting around with all this weird tension, I just layed down on my side of the bed while she sat there on her phone not saying a word, she wasnt even talking to me. Eventually she got up, shut my lights, left my room and said good night. Im laying in bed trying to sleep but i hear someone in my living room talking, i walked out the room and see blondie on the phone, so then i shut the lights in the living room and cuddle up on her while shes on the phone, she then goes " what are you doing your creeping me out andI cant see anything" but her tone did not match what she was saying ( it was like in a flirty voice so idk) and then she just walked out the house. I know I fucked up somewhere, what should I have done to properly escalate her in my bedroom???? Put on the TV or something? helpp

 

[JPWorld]

Davy,

Someone with more experience can happily chip in over me, but in that situation you could have gone two ways I reckon.

The first would have been super flirty and fun. When she followed you maybe take her hand and lead her in. And when she was just sitting there on her phone you could have said something like "Hey Miss unsociable/Miss Texty-pants, dance with me." Move her phone away, put some stupid silly music on and dance with her and escalate from there.

The second is more direct and what I probably would have done. If she was on her phone just walk up to her/sit next to her, take away her phone and before she can say anything grab her chin lightly to turn her towards you and kiss her. If she reacts good, you're away. If not, you may have some LMR to get over with to keep it going. If she reacts super badly, she can just go and chill in the other room. NBD.

But to be honest you probably wanted to catch her before she even sat down. When she came into your room interact her with something. "Hey, let me show you these photos/my drawings/this track." (Bring in the dance again)

Another option if she was still just sitting there would be to take your shirt off right in front of her. "Hey, I'm just gonna get changed into my pyjamas/I'm just getting undressed, I sleep naked you see, hope you don't mind " She's bound to look up when you take your top off, then just take her hand and run it over your abs/chest etc.

The main thing here is She was waiting for you to do something

I understand it was slightly awkward with her friend shagging your mate and she's basically just waiting, but surely she's a bit jealous? Surely she wants some fun too?

shes sitting there but shes not speaking to me and seems very distracted on her phone, I sat right next to her my legs pressed against her sitting at the edge of my bed and were talking some bull shit, and I was like oh hey lets move up a little bit and she's like noo if I lay down Im gonna fall asleep and I have to go home with (girl my roomates fucking). At this point I didnt know how to smoothely, escalate maybe should have placed my hand on her lap or something? and the lights were on sicne I've yet to purchase dimmer lights. I once asked again for her to lay down shes like no I haveto be up early for class and i told her that my phone alarm was loud. After sitting around with all this weird tension, I just layed down on my side of the bed while she sat there on her phone not saying a word, she wasnt even talking to me.

What you're doing here is too tip-toe-like, rather than being more assertive and dominant. (NB: Put some paragraphs in so it's easier to read haha)

You didn't need the TV or anything, you needed to make yourself and the situation more fun and interesting, rather than the "this is awkward so I'll just play on my phone" scenario.

Hope this helps a bit,

- JP

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I not the expert on this but from some of the articles I have read on here it sounds like you hit one of her walls when you suggested she lie down. What you needed to do was work to get past the objection. Try something else like touching her. If she is receptive to the touch then give her a kiss. Sometimes a girl expects a certain progression. She may have expected to be kissed or fondled or something else before she will lay down. She may perceive laying down as final permission to sex. Every girl is different so you have to work your way through the walls. Also it depends on how hot she is for you. If she wants you bad she may go right to sex where if she is still deciding if you are going mating material she may test you to help her decide.

BDSC

 

[JakethaSnake]

Setting the mood with music is an easy way to get a girl in the mood once they're secluded. I don't ask girls to do anything its just reactionary. When she was on her phone, you should have tickled her, or lightly touched her wherever her bare skin was showing. Said something sexual in her ear, and sucked her earlobe after. Don't ask to escalate just ESCALATE.

 

[Lotus]

You didn't attempt to escalate when she was in your room on your bed, but when she left you went and cuddled with her on the couch. I would be confused if I was her as well.

There's no magic pill to escalation in your bedroom. You just have to do it and find out. Strong men don't ask they lead, if you want to make out with her make out with her. Her being in your room is enough of a sign to just do it.

 

[TheChased]

From what I've read, it sound like you hadn't talked that much with her at all. The situation sounded kinda awkward how you explained it. So it could be that she didn't want to be alone and not thinking anything sexual at all. Not to put you on the spot here or anything, but it could be that. But if we put that aside, I'm gonna go with the other guys here. When you laid down on your bed, she probably thought you were tired and wanted to let you sleep, so she left. Also, it kind of put you in a bad light, you came of weak when you did that. Like giving up, and then proceed to go out and try again. You should've been more aggressive while she was at your room and not waited until she left to snuggle up with her. Like Lotus said, I would've been confused and weirded out as well!

(NB: Put some paragraphs in so it's easier to read haha)

Second that!

I hope this helps!
-TC

 

[DavyTee94]

Y'a Live and Y'a Learn

Thanks to everyone for all your tips and advice, you guys mentioned many great points. I pretty much know now where I fucked up. When I had her in the bedroom I should have taken the initiative instead of waiting for her to drop more signs.
AND THANK you JP for all his creative ideas, I strongly agree that either one of those would work perfectly on this chick, I just didnt act.

I was also high as a kite when I got back to my house since we were passing a blunt during the poker game, now I typically refrain from smoking unless I know my night is ending. For some reason, after I smoke weed I get extremely quiet, I over analyze everything, get stuck in my head, and pretty much lose all my game. Anyone else have these symptoms?

Also, this situation would have been different had I been the one to have brought her home, I came back not expecting anyone to be at my house and I was very high and sleepy but LOGISTICALLY speaking it was golden, I had a girl isolated its late night and her friend is getting fucked so I just "expected" things to happen in the bedroom without taking into the account that I never really spent time putting in the work with this chick,it was a lucky " right place at the right time" scenario everything was right but I needed to get to know the girl more or at least make her feel more comfortable first. When I met her earlier in the night I needed to convey a strong sexual intent but I didn't since I really was trying to get with the other girl.

YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN.

 

[TheChased]

I was also high as a kite when I got back to my house since we were passing a blunt during the poker game, now I typically refrain from smoking unless I know my night is ending. For some reason, after I smoke weed I get extremely quiet, I over analyze everything, get stuck in my head, and pretty much lose all my game. Anyone else have these symptoms?

Yes, I have absolutely no game when I'm high, maybe because don't even care about sex then. And when I care, I do the same things as you do, over analyze and all that. So I don't smoke anymore, it happens sometimes, but I try to keep away from it.

 

[JPWorld]

Davy,

Welcome, mate! You're armed for next time!

- JP