back story:
A few weeks ago I met a girl in one of my classes because I overheard her talking about a concert we both happened to be going to that night. Naturally, we vibed right away after talking about music, different concerts, etc. I see this girl as nothing more than a cool person/friend and we both are in relationships.. After class, I went home to my apartment (my gf and I live together currently) and my gf asks me how the first day of class went. I tell her it was good and that I met this cool girl who's going to the same concert as us and we're probably going to meet up with her and her boyfriend (trying to be completely up front about it off the bat bc we exchanged snapchats and had plans to meet up that night; i figured I'd rather explain it now vs. later where it might seem like I was hiding something.) But then the first thing she asks me is if I think the girl was attractive. At first I laughed and brushed it off but she persisted like a damn pitbull so I said "I mean yeah she's not ugly, but why does that matter? You're the person I have a connection with, I'm not interested in anyone else. Plus we both established we're in relationships, I just think she's a cool person."
Well that was the wrong answer.
The rest of the day was hell. She blasted me for like 30 minutes about how disrespectful it was that I think she's attractive and added her on snapchat, all the while I took everything she threw at me but I never apologized for it because 1. I didn't do anything wrong, and 2. my intentions were completely innocent. In fact, I told her out of a place of complete honesty.. We still went to the concert but we never met up with my new friend because my gf was being a complete cunt and that's not how I want anyone to get a first impression of anyone I have a relationship with. Her biggest thing was that she was on my snapchat, she kept bringing it up so I finally said fuck it this isn't worth all this bullshit and deleted her on snapchat in front if my girl (I regret this, in hindsight I wish I would have maintained frame but I was just sick of the bullshit and wanted to enjoy the rest of my night.)
That night I was pretty certain things were over. On the way home, we talked about everything in our relationship. We talked pretty much all night and I told her how I thought that wasn't cool how she handled everything, from the very beginning of her asking me if I thought she was attractive and that there's going to be people we both find attractive that aren't our partner in any relationship we're in. She finally apologized and we worked everything out, and honestly our relationship was a lot better the past few weeks because of it. She told me she didn't care if I added her back on snapchat as long as I don't hide anything and become buddy buddy with her; I agree. The next day we had some great fucking sex to get past the whole thing.
Fast forward 3 weeks/current situation:
I've talked to my new friend very few times after that whole situation. She wished me a happy birthday on snapchat which was a week ago and I said happy valentines day to her and her boyfriend, other than that we've maybe talked twice over the past 3 weeks with the exception of when in class. However, last night my gf told me that it still bothered her to even see her name pop up on my phone. So after that I deleted the chat history because I didn't want to deal with unnecessary drama over something pointless, and today my gf went thru my phone while I was sleeping and found out that I deleted it after I told her I didn't.. Needless to say, she's pissed. I know I fucked up by lying, but I still don't feel back for having a platonic friendship with this girl. I deleted it because I figured what she doesn't know won't hurt her type of thing but obviously I've learned my lesson on that.
At this point, I don't know what to do. I understand my gf is pissed at me lying to her but she's lied to me before and I've forgiven her. However, I feel like me having a friendship with this person is going to be a constant thorn in my side and for no reason. Cutting her off would be awkward as fuck because we have class together and it honestly would seem like my intentions were less pure if I did that. Plus, I still have the frame that I'm not doing anything wrong, and that's not going to change. I love my gf of almost 2 years, she's an amazing girl but if I'm not allowed to have female friends (not even single for that matter) then this is probably constantly going to be a problem in the future. (If anyone has a story that's similar and how it played out that would be awesome)
Any thoughts/insight on the situation and advice on how to navigate this would be helpful.
Thanks!
-Drew
A few weeks ago I met a girl in one of my classes because I overheard her talking about a concert we both happened to be going to that night. Naturally, we vibed right away after talking about music, different concerts, etc. I see this girl as nothing more than a cool person/friend and we both are in relationships.. After class, I went home to my apartment (my gf and I live together currently) and my gf asks me how the first day of class went. I tell her it was good and that I met this cool girl who's going to the same concert as us and we're probably going to meet up with her and her boyfriend (trying to be completely up front about it off the bat bc we exchanged snapchats and had plans to meet up that night; i figured I'd rather explain it now vs. later where it might seem like I was hiding something.) But then the first thing she asks me is if I think the girl was attractive. At first I laughed and brushed it off but she persisted like a damn pitbull so I said "I mean yeah she's not ugly, but why does that matter? You're the person I have a connection with, I'm not interested in anyone else. Plus we both established we're in relationships, I just think she's a cool person."
Well that was the wrong answer.
The rest of the day was hell. She blasted me for like 30 minutes about how disrespectful it was that I think she's attractive and added her on snapchat, all the while I took everything she threw at me but I never apologized for it because 1. I didn't do anything wrong, and 2. my intentions were completely innocent. In fact, I told her out of a place of complete honesty.. We still went to the concert but we never met up with my new friend because my gf was being a complete cunt and that's not how I want anyone to get a first impression of anyone I have a relationship with. Her biggest thing was that she was on my snapchat, she kept bringing it up so I finally said fuck it this isn't worth all this bullshit and deleted her on snapchat in front if my girl (I regret this, in hindsight I wish I would have maintained frame but I was just sick of the bullshit and wanted to enjoy the rest of my night.)
That night I was pretty certain things were over. On the way home, we talked about everything in our relationship. We talked pretty much all night and I told her how I thought that wasn't cool how she handled everything, from the very beginning of her asking me if I thought she was attractive and that there's going to be people we both find attractive that aren't our partner in any relationship we're in. She finally apologized and we worked everything out, and honestly our relationship was a lot better the past few weeks because of it. She told me she didn't care if I added her back on snapchat as long as I don't hide anything and become buddy buddy with her; I agree. The next day we had some great fucking sex to get past the whole thing.
Fast forward 3 weeks/current situation:
I've talked to my new friend very few times after that whole situation. She wished me a happy birthday on snapchat which was a week ago and I said happy valentines day to her and her boyfriend, other than that we've maybe talked twice over the past 3 weeks with the exception of when in class. However, last night my gf told me that it still bothered her to even see her name pop up on my phone. So after that I deleted the chat history because I didn't want to deal with unnecessary drama over something pointless, and today my gf went thru my phone while I was sleeping and found out that I deleted it after I told her I didn't.. Needless to say, she's pissed. I know I fucked up by lying, but I still don't feel back for having a platonic friendship with this girl. I deleted it because I figured what she doesn't know won't hurt her type of thing but obviously I've learned my lesson on that.
At this point, I don't know what to do. I understand my gf is pissed at me lying to her but she's lied to me before and I've forgiven her. However, I feel like me having a friendship with this person is going to be a constant thorn in my side and for no reason. Cutting her off would be awkward as fuck because we have class together and it honestly would seem like my intentions were less pure if I did that. Plus, I still have the frame that I'm not doing anything wrong, and that's not going to change. I love my gf of almost 2 years, she's an amazing girl but if I'm not allowed to have female friends (not even single for that matter) then this is probably constantly going to be a problem in the future. (If anyone has a story that's similar and how it played out that would be awesome)
Any thoughts/insight on the situation and advice on how to navigate this would be helpful.
Thanks!
-Drew
