Girlfriend Qualities: Lifestyle, Skills and Value -- What Do You Need In Your Life?

[Regal Tiger]

Long story short, friend finally got a girlfriend. He does a lot wrong, but she is below him in value and I think they both know it. If not consciously then subconsciously.

But here's something that I've noticed her doing right to keep the relationship and kinda rope him in and it's got me thinking about a question that I think every guy in here needs to ask himself:

When it comes to having a girlfriend, what's something that she can do to benefit your mission?

Personally, I've always viewed relationships of any kind (romantic/friendship/whatever) as a special little team. A team where you're supposed to work together and have each others' backs. So that's what I'm aiming for, but maybe that's not what you want. If not, cool. But if you do, then I think this is a fun little question to help you choose a better partner.

And even as I'm typing this I'm reminded of what Chase used to call "GISS" (Growth, Investment and I dunno the other two). He never really expanded too much on it, but if I remember right it stood for basically having something that you're working on together and working towards. Without that special something it can feel like you're stagnating, which we all know is a death knell for relationships.
--> I remember him briefly talking about this when he was trying to move and his girlfriend at the time had already moved, or lived there and they were both working towards that goal. But once it was achieved then things just kinda went.... meh...

Which also coincides nicely with having children and getting married as well as the different relationship 'drops' where progress needs to be made. Without those steps, what else can you do?

That's the question that I'm asking myself right now.


Friend's example; they're flipping some collection related stuff and she's using her website skills to, basically make the entire system. Without her, I don't think he'd be even trying to do what they're doing. It's not something that I think is going to make them rich, but it's something fun for them to do together and it'll make a little bit of money.


This is a question that I've just asked myself today, so I don't have a personal answer but I thought it was an interesting concept and I'd love to hear feedback from all of you guys. Is this something you've thought about, or have any general thoughts on?

And for you guys that have already kind of been through this already I'd love to hear your thoughts too!

 

[topcat]

Excellent question. One that hasn’t really crossed my mind but as I get older I wonder if it should..

I’ve never had an exclusive girlfriend, never wanted one. But as I’m starting to see casual partners stick around longer in my life I’m noticing that beyond the sexual i don’t really have a ‘job’ for them to do.

I don’t really want anything from them beyond interesting and pleasurable experiences.. good sex. Perhaps a trip abroad, new experiences and good conversation. She just needs to be smart, strong, interesting and freaky. These are perfect for what I want out of my relationships but certainly not enough for me to consider a woman a girlfriend.. are they?

What would? I’m not sure. I’m still doubtful if I even want one. They seem like work and drama.

I don’t need anyone to cook for me, nor clean for me. I don’t want help with any of my projects, certainly not from a woman I’m fucking. Don’t want kids. At least right now, and i wouldn’t consider any of the women i date for that role.. Don’t really need any emotional comfort.. Wouldn’t live with a woman. Companionship needs are fulfilled by diverse friends and family.

I think ultimately I’d simply be looking for a strong woman who could be a mother to my children and raise them properly. Were I to want them. Independent minded and vigilant. No nonsense. Maybe..

Compensating for the fact that I can’t see myself as a live-in father.. nor companion… perhaps.

Ethically questionable I guess. May not be the best for a kids development..

Is it realistic?

Yeah I’ve no idea..

Something I need to figure out as I enter my 30s though. It’s a blind spot I sense is liable to bite me in the ass if I’m not prepared..

Would love to hear other’s answers.

 

[ulrich]

My sister and her husband have this very interesting ritual where once a year they go out for dinner and define goals and action for their relationship for the next 12 months.

It’s quite interesting because they print them and place them in their bathroom to see everyday.

I think being able to set a goal and working together to achieve it, each on their own ways, make a relationship stronger.

My sister’s goals have changed over the years from supporting her husband business to look for business opportunities to take care of the family. But I simply love that they have input in each other goals.

This is definitely something I plan to do with my girlfriend.

 

[Skills]

Long story short, friend finally got a girlfriend. He does a lot wrong, but she is below him in value and I think they both know it. If not consciously then subconsciously.

But here's something that I've noticed her doing right to keep the relationship and kinda rope him in and it's got me thinking about a question that I think every guy in here needs to ask himself:

When it comes to having a girlfriend, what's something that she can do to benefit your mission?

Personally, I've always viewed relationships of any kind (romantic/friendship/whatever) as a special little team. A team where you're supposed to work together and have each others' backs. So that's what I'm aiming for, but maybe that's not what you want. If not, cool. But if you do, then I think this is a fun little question to help you choose a better partner.

And even as I'm typing this I'm reminded of what Chase used to call "GISS" (Growth, Investment and I dunno the other two). He never really expanded too much on it, but if I remember right it stood for basically having something that you're working on together and working towards. Without that special something it can feel like you're stagnating, which we all know is a death knell for relationships.
--> I remember him briefly talking about this when he was trying to move and his girlfriend at the time had already moved, or lived there and they were both working towards that goal. But once it was achieved then things just kinda went.... meh...

Which also coincides nicely with having children and getting married as well as the different relationship 'drops' where progress needs to be made. Without those steps, what else can you do?

That's the question that I'm asking myself right now.


Friend's example; they're flipping some collection related stuff and she's using her website skills to, basically make the entire system. Without her, I don't think he'd be even trying to do what they're doing. It's not something that I think is going to make them rich, but it's something fun for them to do together and it'll make a little bit of money.


This is a question that I've just asked myself today, so I don't have a personal answer but I thought it was an interesting concept and I'd love to hear feedback from all of you guys. Is this something you've thought about, or have any general thoughts on?

And for you guys that have already kind of been through this already I'd love to hear your thoughts too!

This is a problem long term cause I have seen similar dynamics and when is over mess, I know an ex refuses to give biz pw to ig biz to new gf for example and demanding half of biz and stuff like that... perfect when together if break up tons of issues

 

[POB]

When you get together the perfect scenario is 100% separate finances (not hard to do really if not married).

What you can do is save a small portion of your time to get involved in her weekly activities (things you enjoy, of course) and vice versa. It's some kind of "precursor" to test if she is really fit to get the blunt of the work of raising a family.

As @uriel said, saving time to discuss common goals is a must (I do that 2x/year with my main, usually when we are travelling and relaxed).

 

[Regal Tiger]

Excellent question. One that hasn’t really crossed my mind but as I get older I wonder if it should..

I’ve never had an exclusive girlfriend, never wanted one. But as I’m starting to see casual partners stick around longer in my life I’m noticing that beyond the sexual i don’t really have a ‘job’ for them to do.

I don’t really want anything from them beyond interesting and pleasurable experiences.. good sex. Perhaps a trip abroad, new experiences and good conversation. She just needs to be smart, strong, interesting and freaky. These are perfect for what I want out of my relationships but certainly not enough for me to consider a woman a girlfriend.. are they?

It's like you copied and pasted that straight from my own mind lmao

What would? I’m not sure. I’m still doubtful if I even want one. They seem like work and drama.

I'm kinda torn, honestly. If you've read some of my personal stuff on here you'll know that I am itching to get out of this country and the thought of a relationship seems kind of unfair for a woman (which is partially the reason why I took a stripper as my last girlfriend, I knew it wouldn't last and the sex was great). But I still want one even though I kinda don't? Lol it's weird for me... not sure how to explain it

I don’t need anyone to cook for me, nor clean for me. I don’t want help with any of my projects, certainly not from a woman I’m fucking. Don’t want kids. At least right now, and i wouldn’t consider any of the women i date for that role.. Don’t really need any emotional comfort.. Wouldn’t live with a woman. Companionship needs are fulfilled by diverse friends and family.

I think ultimately I’d simply be looking for a strong woman who could be a mother to my children and raise them properly. Were I to want them. Independent minded and vigilant. No nonsense. Maybe..

And that's exactly what I was always thinking, but it somehow doesn't seem like enough.

A big reason why I've started to think that it's not enough is because I've only ever been truly impacted by one of my girlfriends, the first one. The rest I impacted in ways that made them stronger human beings (again, not counting the stripper one because she's just bananas). But the first one I ever had introduced new things into my life that I'm still extremely grateful for.

It's strange to say, but I was early into my self-development as well as seduction development and she got me into cooking, photography and a few other things. Though those are the biggest. Probably the only girlfriend I wouldn't mind dating again even though I know now that I can do infinitely better.

I think a small part of me is looking for that? I'm not sure to tell ya the truth

Compensating for the fact that I can’t see myself as a live-in father.. nor companion… perhaps.

Ethically questionable I guess. May not be the best for a kids development..

Is it realistic?

Yeah I’ve no idea..

Something I need to figure out as I enter my 30s though. It’s a blind spot I sense is liable to bite me in the ass if I’m not prepared..

Would love to hear other’s answers.

Yup... I'm also a few months shy of 30 myself.

 

[Regal Tiger]

This is a problem long term cause I have seen similar dynamics and when is over mess, I know an ex refuses to give biz pw to ig biz to new gf for example and demanding half of biz and stuff like that... perfect when together if break up tons of issues

This is absolutely true, and something I've considered.

I have no idea if this is the solution or not, but a few ideas:

1) work on something small, like my friends girlfriend is doing. It still helps keep you two together and working on something together but if the relationship ends you're okay with walking away from whatever it is that you were doing

2) have your or her (or both) work and support the others goals in some way. Like a way I did this was with a girlfriend who didn't understand stepping away from her own growing business and didn't understand how to scale it. So I introduced her to some concepts like auto-respond emailers and lists as well as hiring someone in a third world country to do small, easy tasks. Some of the ideas she liked, others she didn't

But that way, it's clearly one or the others business and the other person just occasionally helps. Though for investment purposes it's better if she helps you with your stuff. I was learning about some business stuff while I was dating her and was excited to teach her, but I did notice a small bump at the time with her during (even though I was the one investing in her while she did not invest in me in the same way).


_________________________

Side note: after I made this post and thought about it more, I've noticed that women have tried to help me in different ways during our relationships (some were just casual). But they tried to help in ways that I just didn't care about.

So I'm thinking that it'd be better to find a way to direct that for them. Even if it's just something small like, hey, clean my place and do my laundry and I'll cook for you.


Another idea that's come to mind is how much I enjoy photography and like artistic women myself. So I could have a woman help me with my Instagram by being a model for me or even operating the camera (which I've done in the past but it was for fun rather than a kind of consistent mission).

 

[Fuck This]

Aside from Quid pro quo value exchanges, I think this quote shakes the wheat from the chaff to determine if a woman is relationship material.

 

[Regal Tiger]

When you get together the perfect scenario is 100% separate finances (not hard to do really if not married).

What you can do is save a small portion of your time to get involved in her weekly activities (things you enjoy, of course) and vice versa. It's some kind of "precursor" to test if she is really fit to get the blunt of the work of raising a family.

As @uriel said, saving time to discuss common goals is a must (I do that 2x/year with my main, usually when we are travelling and relaxed).

Love the idea of having a test to see if you work well together as well as getting a sense of her general work ethic up close and personal!

And yeah, separate finances are a definite must in today's age.

EDIT: not sure if it's related or not, but something you made me think of that I will do with women is to see how likely they are to get better at sex for me.

There's a website called the "Bad Girls Bible" that teaches women about how to please their man. I've found it useful in finding things that please me that I never would have thought about without reading it. I love seeing if women will actually go out and read it to then try some of the stuff they read about on me on their own.

I usually start that conversation about how I read about something and tried it on her and if she asks about it I'll give her that website. It's kind of neat to see what she'll do. But, to be honest, I've only done this twice. The first I noticed a fun difference, the second never followed through.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Aside from Quid pro quo value exchanges, I think this quote shakes the wheat from the chaff to determine if a woman is relationship material.

Absolutely!

If you're looking for relationship-test ideas though, here's another one that I came across not long ago:

Find some kind of argument on the internet and get her opinion on it (works best if it's something about the sexes). See how closely it matches yours.

Example; some different red pill like perspectives, or general ideas like men lead and women follow etc. etc.

Like hey babe, I thought this was interesting and the comments were ablaze with different ideas. What do you think about this?


Obviously we don't want to get too in depth on seduction related stuff but just barely scratching the surface on some of it or even finding arguments between men and women on the internet or whatever you think is an important idea/concept for you personally. Whenever you bring up something as a neutral and distant concept it's easier to get her true opinion.

Just like how people will project what they believe onto what they think another person would believe in different situations


Though, this was another thing that I just thought about a few days ago and I don't yet have a cache of topics/ideas myself