Girlfriend with weird sex drive (very confused)...

[steff]

Hi,

Currently, I have a beautiful ex-model girlfriend, I'm 27, she's 23. Even after nearly 2 years, I still have a huge desire for her body, and I really love being intimate with her.
We've moved together a few months ago, and things didn't got boring, I really enjoy going home and spending time with her, and having good conversations, and I do think she feels the same way.
All in all it is nearly perfect except for 2 things that annoy me:

1. She had more lovers than I did. In fact she had around 3 times more than me. My score is 5, her admitted score is 15-17. I don't judge her for this. It does annoy me, but I keep saying that it's my fault that I had only 5 lovers, and spent my life with other things, while she enjoyed her life at a young age, and now she kind of calmed down and enjoys focusing on other things, like career, hobbies, etc. She also doesn't really in to new things in bed. We do around 3-4 positions, some spanking, scratching, sometimes I hit her face, she enjoys it, and that's kind of it. Whenever we go to bed, both of us know what to expect. However making love to her still feels very good, and both of us orgasm nearly every time.

2. Now I don't know if this has to do with my first issue (obviously at some level it must), but there are some longer periods in our relationship when she doesn't desire sex at all, and it goes like this:
- we keep having wild, passionate sex for 2-5 days (once or twice daily)
- all of a sudden her desire drops, and sometimes it lasts even weeks, until we start getting intimate again
Lately the second period lasts much longer, since she has a new job, and keeps telling me that it is very stressful now in the beginning.
I told her about this issue, but she asks me to be a little patient with her, until she catches up. She finds it a challenge and she is much more preoccupied with this new job than with our sex life or our relationship. I keep telling her that it is very good that she is pursuing her dreams, and how smart she is, etc. But I do feel that our relationship is getting colder. I don't know if there is a way to fix it or even if it should be fixed.

I was wondering for a while that maybe it is just the time to move on for both of us, even if we both love each other, or maybe to try to take a break and spend some time separately.
I am both confused and frustrated, and for a few weeks I cannot focus on my work as I was supposed to.
I keep fantasizing about her naked body, and having sex, and doing new things with her, but I don't know how to make her have a bigger desire for sex and new things, but I do believe that the lack of being intimate doesn't do no good for neither of us.

Any thought is appreciated.

Thank You,
Steff

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate good to see you here. As an initial comment I want to say never get too attached to your current relationship, the foremost advice that we always give on these boards is to develop an abundance with women, both physically (by talking to a lot of girls, flirting and getting them into bed) and mentally (by at all times behaving and thinking like a dude whose cock is in high demand). Relationships do take their toll on your abundance mentality but you must consciously reinforce it.

Now as to your point 1 you keep saying your partner count is your "fault", you mean you say it to yourself or to her? I make it a rule never to discuss such topics with my girl. It is an attraction-killer. If you must discuss it do it here or with your trusted guy friends. Maybe the damage is done. But anyway to put it in perspective neither partner count is at all unusual. Mine was probably pretty similar at that age. (My lifetime partner count from puberty to age 37.5 doubled by age 39 after 1.5yrs of putting GC into practice, that's how powerful GC is, but don't worry you have decades ahead of you for that). As to her partner count women have sexual abundance that is just impossible for us guys to imagine, so no biggie. The unusual thing is she isn't lying to reduce her count like 99% of women.

As to the rest of your questions please refer to this, if I had to answer the question I would write exactly what I wrote to Marty, but there's lots of other good perspectives there. Also check out some other posts in this forum like "LTR frame and sex woes" which I think amply illustrates what will happen if you don't address the issues early. Good luck and yell out if u need.

Ray

 

[Grand Pooba]

2. Now I don't know if this has to do with my first issue (obviously at some level it must), but there are some longer periods in our relationship when she doesn't desire sex at all, and it goes like this:
- we keep having wild, passionate sex for 2-5 days (once or twice daily)
- all of a sudden her desire drops, and sometimes it lasts even weeks, until we start getting intimate again
Lately the second period lasts much longer, since she has a new job, and keeps telling me that it is very stressful now in the beginning.

To me she sounds like a pretty normal low sex drive girl, and those spikes in intimacy probably happen around the time she is ovulating. When she's not ovulating she doesn't feel all that horny, and sex is not as high priority for her as other elements in the relationship. That is my take. Nothing unusual really except maybe that you picked someone that doesn't match your own sexual desires.