Girls Auto-Reject due to preselection?

[Kaida]

Just had a pretty crazy night at the club. Great night for social proof and preselection. It was probably the deepest club night so far (it was free entry) and I had at least 20+ girls dancing with so many different girls I’m sure everyone in the venue saw me at least once. Preselection was amazing

Towards the end there was a girl I found who I liked who was very compliant and invested, so I decided to make her my girl for the night. At the same time, this other girl I was talking to (“Fiona”) who liked me saw me and gave me a “oh you rascal” type of look. I just smiled at her and kept dancing with my girl. At least now I look like a focused seducer instead of a uncommitted social butterfly

Suddenly tho, ten minutes later when my girl was getting water, Fiona walked up to me and whispers in my ear “Dont ever talk to me again” lol. I just smiled and ignored assuming it was a test. Too much pussy around to give a shit

( I kind of made a mistake though. A few minutes after she said that I tapped her and laughingly asked her why she was mad . As soon as I said it I realized I just cemented the emotion and probably could have just talked to her on good terms tomorrow. Rookie shit . I dont think she was really taking it seriously till I said that.)

I didnt end up taking the girl I was dancing with home (thats another story) but yeah. I ended up fucking a FWB after who is best friends with Fiona, and she told me Fiona said (before she gave me the rascal look)“He thinks he can flirt with all these girls & still mess with me. Hes not getting away with that.”. My FWB also told me she has literal lists of guys texting her, Fionas beautiful but also an attention whore.

So 2 Questions:

- What goes on in a girls mind when auto rejection happens due to too much preselection?

How can a girl rationalize you as low value to protect her ego if I’m literally getting socially proofed by a beautiful girl? I understand it intuitively but idk


Bonus Question:

No girl wants to leave before the parties over, so the last 2 times I asked in advance if they want to leave with me after the party ends. I got a yes but no pulls.

When pulling from a nightclub, do you wait till the end of the night to ask or do you ask in the middle of the night, then take her after the club ends?

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah this happens, sometimes even innocent conversations with other girls can trip girls up and they go to AR. I do think this is usually more with inexperienced girls, than experienced girls. Usually the girls who go into AR, are very into you... so I am not sure why you think Fiona is an attention whore. An attention whore would double down for attention, these girls are usually very persistent.

So either girl is just playing around and not AR -> not likely

or girl is really in AR and thought there was some kind of build up between you and her and feels betrayed

I just smiled and ignored assuming it was a test. Too much pussy around to give a shit

and this is how you kick them deeper into AR by coming across even more uncaring. But I do suspect this was an automatic response done in order not to show vulnerability . People tend to go "aloof" when they do not know how to respond properly.

( I kind of made a mistake though. A few minutes after she said that I tapped her and laughingly asked her why she was mad . As soon as I said it I realized I just cemented the emotion and probably could have just talked to her on good terms tomorrow. Rookie shit . I dont think she was really taking it seriously till I said that.)

I suspect she was already serious before you "cemented the emotion". She is going out of her way to do a takeaway to you, seems pretty serious to me unless she had a very playful vibe, which I suspect was not the case. "Don't ever talk to me again" is quite the drastic thing to say.

Anyway doesn't look like an attention seeker to me

 

[rockstar]

Haha, I've been here before! This used to happen to me every time I opened another group in the city I used to live in. You did the right thing in committing to the set you wanted.

Suddenly tho, ten minutes later when my girl was getting water, Fiona walked up to me and whispers in my ear “Dont ever talk to me again” lol. I just smiled and ignored assuming it was a test. Too much pussy around to give a shit

( I kind of made a mistake though. A few minutes after she said that I tapped her and laughingly asked her why she was mad . As soon as I said it I realized I just cemented the emotion and probably could have just talked to her on good terms tomorrow. Rookie shit . I dont think she was really taking it seriously till I said that.)

I have a hard time imagining this coming off as playful, so you needed to deal with that right there to keep this girl open to you. You need to push the frame of her being weird here:
"WOW... that's a really weird thing to say" (to give you more time to think of a response). Then something to get her defending/explaining herself and hopefully backtrack a little like:
""Do you always play games like that with people you've just met?"
Or possibly
"Damn, you're the kind of girl who breaks up with her boyfriend after the starbucks barista smiles at him too friendly"

If she's really butthurt about it you might have to lay a hard boundary down: "Listen, I actually thought you were pretty cool when I met you, because {qualify to soften}. But I have other friends too, and if me talking to them is a problem for you, then this isn't going to work"

You could probably use this sort of frame next time you see her if she's cold to you (I don't know if you just met her or this is a social circle thing)

How can a girl rationalize you as low value to protect her ego if I’m literally getting socially proofed by a beautiful girl? I understand it intuitively but idk

Fiona already liked you, she's already attracted. She feels jealous, maybe insecure, so is defending her ego by calling you a player to herself so she can reject you. Because she doesn't want to feel rejected by seeing you choose another girl over her or by getting invested in you while you're seeing other girls and not investing as much, etc. Men do the same thing too sometimes

 

[Kaida]

Yeah this happens, sometimes even innocent conversations with other girls can trip girls up and they go to AR.

Yeah, true. Wasnt necessarily innocent tho lol. These girls were twerking on me and stuff so I understand kind of

girl is really in AR and thought there was some kind of build up between you and her and feels betrayed

There was a build up, she got kicked out a social circle because the girls were jealous of her beauty and shes kind of introverted so she didnt defend herself strongly.

They were calling her a slut and shit even though they dont know her. I recently left the group too because i just didnt need them. We bonded over that really well in our first convo when I got her number… just to see me doing all that.

I reflected a bit and I’m a bit empathetic, but I’m not gonna stop talking to other girls cuz of that

and this is how you kick them deeper into AR by coming across even more uncaring. But I do suspect this was an automatic response done in order not to show vulnerability . People tend to go "aloof" when they do not know how to respond properly.

Yea it was automatic

I suspect she was already serious before you "cemented the emotion". She is going out of her way to do a takeaway to you, seems pretty serious to me unless she had a very playful vibe, which I suspect was not the case. "Don't ever talk to me again" is quite the drastic thing to say.

Anyway doesn't look like an attention seeker to me

Shes def more attention seeking than normal. But yeah her behavior wasnt really out of the norm after further reflection

 

[Kaida]

have a hard time imagining this coming off as playful, so you needed to deal with that right there to keep this girl open to you. You need to push the frame of her being weird here:
"WOW... that's a really weird thing to say" (to give you more time to think of a response). Then something to get her defending/explaining herself and hopefully backtrack a little like:
""Do you always play games like that with people you've just met?"
Or possibly
"Damn, you're the kind of girl who breaks up with her boyfriend after the starbucks barista smiles at him too friendly"

If she's really butthurt about it you might have to lay a hard boundary down: "Listen, I actually thought you were pretty cool when I met you, because {qualify to soften}. But I have other friends too, and if me talking to them is a problem for you, then this isn't going to work"

Very good frames! Thanks man, def using those next time I see her, which will prolly be in a few hours

 

[Kaida]

What do yall think of the bonus question though

 

[rockstar]

When pulling from a nightclub, do you wait till the end of the night to ask or do you ask in the middle of the night, then take her after the club ends?

Definitely pull earlier if you can. Sometimes you'll have to stay till the end due to random logistics things. Depends on the city, but in a lot of places the hotter girls will leave before closing.

I wouldn't necessarily flat-out ask halfway through if you already know you have to wait until the end. I would seed to get objections first. If there's some logistics/friends things you have to wait for and the girl is into you, you can be pretty overt about it. Though this depends on the type of girl too.