Girls gaining weight in LTR

[Rakehell]

I haven’t seen this talked about much but I notice it all the time. Super pretty girl gets in a LTR with a guy, but she ends up gaining hella weight bordering on outright fat.

The dynamic of the relationship goes from “how did he end up with her” to, average guy with an overweight chick. I find myself wondering how it happens. I have theories like birth control or just her being too comfortable, but really why does this happen and how would you even go about preventing this.

The guy’s almost never leave (I feel like I would have to), and I doubt they get the same sexual satisfaction if any at all.

How could they have prevented that and how would you even go about handling your partner gaining weight.

 

[Alpha13SC]

What do you do if your girlfriend gets fat?

Hi, I'm asking this question because I know this can be a difficult situation for both partners, for men because he wants that his partner to be as attractive as possible, and for her because she may be self conscious and aware of the phenomen much earlier than him. How would you approach...

www.skilledseducer.com

Lockdown/working from home/stress.

 

[Will_V]

Frame control and repetition. This is the kind of thing that she needs to catch onto your perspective on before she is the one in focus. I've in the past specifically said to a girlfriend that I think getting fat during an ltr is a good reason for a breakup. Since neither of us were overweight and we were banging all the time she couldn't get too mad, but I'm sure she didn't forget it.

After the fact, we'll I've never dealt with that but it'd have to be done firmly but very carefully.

 

[Rakehell]

What do you do if your girlfriend gets fat?

Hi, I'm asking this question because I know this can be a difficult situation for both partners, for men because he wants that his partner to be as attractive as possible, and for her because she may be self conscious and aware of the phenomen much earlier than him. How would you approach...

www.skilledseducer.com

Lockdown/working from home/stress.

HA I responded to that thread

Frame control and repetition. This is the kind of thing that she needs to catch onto your perspective on before she is the one in focus. I've in the past specifically said to a girlfriend that I think getting fat during an ltr is a good reason for a breakup. Since neither of us were overweight and we were banging all the time she couldn't get too mad, but I'm sure she didn't forget it.

After the fact, we'll I've never dealt with that but it'd have to be done firmly but very carefully.

So would you say these guys never made it inadvertently clear that her gaining weight was crossing a boundary in the relationship?

 

[Skills]

I haven’t seen this talked about much but I notice it all the time. Super pretty girl gets in a LTR with a guy, but she ends up gaining hella weight bordering on outright fat.

The dynamic of the relationship goes from “how did he end up with her” to, average guy with an overweight chick. I find myself wondering how it happens. I have theories like birth control or just her being too comfortable, but really why does this happen and how would you even go about preventing this.

The guy’s almost never leave (I feel like I would have to), and I doubt they get the same sexual satisfaction if any at all.

How could they have prevented that and how would you even go about handling your partner gaining weight.

again as in the link posted by alpha, i will repeat this again, if the girl is gaining weight when she is with the dude, is on the dude for allowing that shit, girl gains weight with me, she is OUT.... They know this, and they know i am not fucking around, when they are with me, they workout, dress better, look better, eat better, make more money.... After me, a different story to the point is a distortion on my accomplishment "did i date that?"

Introduction to fixer upper game "how to create your own hottie" - The Skills Method

I come form a real estate background. In real estate what we do is we find a house with tons of potential, no matter the condition, we invest a little … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Will_V]

HA I responded to that thread

So would you say these guys never made it inadvertently clear that her gaining weight was crossing a boundary in the relationship?

Almost certainly, the vast majority of guys would never bring up weight as an issue let alone that it crossed a boundary or was grounds for a breakup.

On top of that it's far easier to hope something never happens than it is to think ahead and take effort and potential risk to avoid it.

I'm of the mind that frame control is the absolute key to a good relationship, you always have to be laying down your reality, making declarations and reinforcing them with your actions. Only then can you inspire someone to instinctively do what they would otherwise try to take the easy route to avoid.

 

[Rakehell]

I'm of the mind that frame control is the absolute key to a good relationship, you always have to be laying down your reality, making declarations and reinforcing them with your actions. Only then can you inspire someone to instinctively do what they would otherwise try to take the easy route to avoid.

Fully agree, not a relationship guy but in my last one I had to have things as ideal as I could get them.

Funny story, when we broke off the same chick ended up pulling some crazy stalker moves. Guess I should’ve set a boundaries once things are over frame.

 

[TomInHo]

I think this usually happens because the guy did not set clear expectations of what he wants from the girl, and does not hold the dominant position in the relationship

Because if the girl is invested in you, and fears losing you, she will do whatever it takes to keep you and become your Queen. Especially when you frame things as it not only being good for her but also the health of your relationship

 

[Chase]

It's not always strictly a boundaries / frame control issue.

There are women with poor impulse control. They might get themselves thin for a while but once they're with a guy the moment they are not completely on their toes they start letting themselves go.

I knew a girl who had a compulsion to "not waste food" and she would just eat all the leftovers even if she wasn't hungry or didn't much like that kind of food to not be wasteful. Fine when she was single and stick thin because she only ever had her own food and could control the portions but as soon as she had a partner if that partner didn't finish all his food she'd start ballooning trying to finish it for him after every meal.

Metabolism issues can play a role. I had a gorgeous cousin who was always in great shape... she had an amazing body... well she married this beanpole guy who loved to cook and eat, and he would be cooking these delicious meals every day, eating tons... he never got fat but she did. He would've had to curtail his cooking to prevent that but the guy loved cooking.

It can also happen if the girl gets depressed and stops keeping on top of what she needs to keep on top of. She might not want to lose the relationship but she just doesn't have the bandwidth to do what she needs to do to keep her guy happy. Happens more if she feels neglected in the relationship or like the relationship isn't heading the direction she wants, but other things can be the cause (career troubles for her, death of a parent, etc.).

What you must do as the man is identify anything you're doing that's contributing, such as:

• Having a bunch of unhealthy food laying around
• Eating out a lot at unhealthy places together with her
• Eating at night around her (you should never eat at night if you want to keep weight off... neither should she)
• Cooking an excess of food around her
• Doing something that triggers a compulsion of hers (like wasting food around a "don't waste food" girl)
• Neglecting her needs in the relationship so she becomes depressed / distressed

... then anything you are contributing, fix that to remove that as a source for her swelling up.

Once that's fixed, then it's all letting her know she needs to cut the weight down, offering to help her, getting her a calorie counting app on her phone, buying a scale for your place so she can measure her weight, checking in with her on it to make sure she's losing it at a steady rate, brainstorming with her on why the weight's not coming off if it isn't. When the issue is brought up repeatedly, and in a constructive way, it gets stamped in most girls' heads that "Okay, this is a pretty important issue, I'd better get to work on this."

If it goes unfixed for too long then you may need to break out the more direct threats: "I want to work with you to fix this but all this extra fat is really just too much for me to handle. I don't like being around overweight people. You used to look so much better. Let's get you back to that."

If that doesn't work, well, then it may be time to cut her loose.

Chase