Girls intent on doing something: worth approaching?

[lux7]

In your opinion, is it worth it approaching girls who are intent on doing something and seem absorbed by their activity, like for example:

-Talking on the phone;
-Seemingly in a rush/late to get somewhere;
-Walking quickly with headphones and loud music;
-Reading a magazine;
-Visibly engaged in a convo with friend
...

 

[HalfGuard]

You don't lose a thing for trying although from the examples you have I would avoid one more than others
For example if she is reading something even if she's absorbed by her reading it's no big deal if you interupt her , the same as if she has her headphones on , bit I'd be mote careful ir que if she is on the phone , I would rather casually wait till she is done , also you should be careful if she is on a convo with someone , it can be done but I think you need a more advanced game to pull it off specially if she is talking to a male.
But you'll lose nothing when trying to talk to girls in this situation and you will learn a thing or two

 

[lux7]

You don't lose a thing for trying although from the examples you have I would avoid one more than others
For example if she is reading something even if she's absorbed by her reading it's no big deal if you interupt her , the same as if she has her headphones on , bit I'd be mote careful ir que if she is on the phone , I would rather casually wait till she is done , also you should be careful if she is on a convo with someone , it can be done but I think you need a more advanced game to pull it off specially if she is talking to a male.
But you'll lose nothing when trying to talk to girls in this situation and you will learn a thing or two

Yeah, talking to a male, that's a whole different ballgame there, never done it.
To me it sounds a bit potentially disrespectful doing that unless the guy is obviously gay..

 

[HalfGuard]

I know from what I've read that it can be done ( not that I've done it) but as you said it can be perceived as disrespectful , so you must do it in a way that isn't , but I imagine is pretty hard because males , even if they are nothing more than a friend feel some kind of right over a girl they are with , besides he can always be her bf , although unlikely because most of the time you can perceive when they are a couple just by seeing them.
Another approach I find interesting is the one that has been talked about in the forums lately where you approach a girl who is with her mom or dad , I'm looking forward to give it a try !!

 

[lux7]

I know from what I've read that it can be done ( not that I've done it) but as you said it can be perceived as disrespectful , so you must do it in a way that isn't , but I imagine is pretty hard because males , even if they are nothing more than a friend feel some kind of right over a girl they are with , besides he can always be her bf , although unlikely because most of the time you can perceive when they are a couple just by seeing them.
Another approach I find interesting is the one that has been talked about in the forums lately where you approach a girl who is with her mom or dad , I'm looking forward to give it a try !!

Exactly!
Also by approaching her you are actually stating you have a low opinion of him and don't consider him as a challenge and/or as another man. Or at least that's how it's often perceived.

Ah, the parents thing is interesting, damn , but it makes me think the girl would be pretty young in those occasions and the dad's reaction might not of the most accomodative .
Also seems a bit like "social group dynamics on steroids" as the girl might be more concerned about what the parents think of her than what the friends think of her.
I've done it by mistakes a couple of times not realizing they were together and it wasn't particularly good

 

[Richard]

It is best to not approach a girl while she is busy, and is always best to approach when it seems like they are just chilling, or walking slowly, it shows that they have the time to talk, however when a girl is rushing, or on the phone, her time is already taken up and unless you are a social veteran with loads of experience under your belt, you will likely fall to her auto-rejection, or her complete ignorance of you and whatever you are saying. I do not recommend approaching girls, or groups who are or seem busy, it simply leads no where fast!

 

[Ross]

Open:

"Are you in a rush?"
"Do you have a moment?"
"Are you busy?"

Her answer:

Yes = Normal game

Answer is no:

Me: "Okay. Well, my name is Ross, it's nice to meet you.. -pause for name-"
Girl: "Jessica, look I really don't have time for this, but it was nice meeting you too."
Me: "Everyone has time for a 60 second conversation with a man who can change their life"

Set the line, and pulled the hook. Everyone has time for a 60 second conversation with you. It doesn't matter if they are busy or it's just a front. The great thing about this is; if they are truly not interested, they'll walk away, which saves you time. If they are interested, it is glaringly obvious. She just said she was busy and.. oh look, she's hanging around and flirting with you. Clearly you're more important than that other thing.

The idea of not approaching girls while busy is a frightful frame. Who cares if she's busy? I'm an amazing guy, and whatever is going on in her life is nothing compared to what I can give her. Until you can give many girls the time of their life with you and know you're a value providing machine that people love to be around, this frame is hard to achieve. Only through many experiences will you truly have it; but you can certainly mimic it.

I prefer girls who are busy. It shows they do things and go after things, and don't simply sit around waiting for people to talk to them. They are motivated. Plus, in these circumstances, you can easily speed through things as they feel a sense of urgency. They need to go somewhere, but you're there, and it's a hard decision.. So you can easily get a number close in less than a minute with plenty of attraction.

Approach every woman you find attractive. It's been said before; dating is a numbers game. I'd rather fail one hundred 20-second approaches with attractive women (not probable, but possible) and then land a relationship with an amazing, motivated woman on the 101st than to have not tried at all. 33 minutes of failure to get with a hot, motivated women who gives me as much as I give her? Sign me up.

 

[HalfGuard]

Exactly!
Also by approaching her you are actually stating you have a low opinion of him and don't consider him as a challenge and/or as another man. Or at least that's how it's often perceived.

Ah, the parents thing is interesting, damn , but it makes me think the girl would be pretty young in those occasions and the dad's reaction might not of the most accomodative .
Also seems a bit like "social group dynamics on steroids" as the girl might be more concerned about what the parents think of her than what the friends think of her.
I've done it by mistakes a couple of times not realizing they were together and it wasn't particularly good [/quote]
Well if you did it by mistake you probably approached her when the parent was around also but in what is sugggested here is that you approach the parent first and ask for permission to talk with her for a little while , obviously you could get a lot of responses from negative to positive

I prefer girls who are busy. It shows they do things and go after things, and don't simply sit around waiting for people to talk to them. They are motivated. Plus, in these circumstances, you can easily speed through things as they feel a sense of urgency. They need to go somewhere, but you're there, and it's a hard decision.. So you can easily get a number close in less than a minute with plenty of attraction.

Hey Ross if she decides to stay how do you normally procced to number close fast , I know that it can be done since I pulled something like that some years ago (before I knew girlschase and all the stuff in it) only that instead of asking for a number I asked her in which classroom I could find her and looked for her the next day , it ended up in a longterm relationship and she told me repeatedly that she really liked the way we met each other so girls do like that kind of approach. I really don´t know why I forgot about that but I will start trying that again , although getting a number might be a little harder , but there´s nothing to loose.
That time I just asked how was she doing , her name and in which classroom she took clases , so I think that it´s the same but ask for her number instead or is a little more of convo needed , what would you advise ?

 

[lux7]

Well if you did it by mistake you probably approached her when the parent was around also but in what is sugggested here is that you approach the parent first and ask for permission to talk with her for a little while , obviously you could get a lot of responses from negative to positive

Yes, by mistake.
Where can I find that thread?

Hey Ross if she decides to stay how do you normally procced to number close fast , I know that it can be done since I pulled something like that some years ago (before I knew girlschase and all the stuff in it) only that instead of asking for a number I asked her in which classroom I could find her and looked for her the next day , it ended up in a longterm relationship and she told me repeatedly that she really liked the way we met each other so girls do like that kind of approach. I really don´t know why I forgot about that but I will start trying that again , although getting a number might be a little harder , but there´s nothing to loose.
That time I just asked how was she doing , her name and in which classroom she took clases , so I think that it´s the same but ask for her number instead or is a little more of convo needed , what would you advise ?

A fried of mine almost never takes phone numbers, just asks to meet somewhere. But somewhere where he is.
If you ask where she is, you have to invest much more later on, which can also be OK, but only if you've go that much free time.

Somebody also said that the "busy issue" becomes relevant only if you haven't approached all the easier and more laid back targets you've seen, which seems unlikely to happen.

 

[HalfGuard]

Yes, by mistake.
Where can I find that thread?

Here it is viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2368&p=10621&hilit=DAD#p10621 you can just skip to the third or fourth reply I think , it´s the one by light , there you will find what I´m talking about

A fried of mine almost never takes phone numbers, just asks to meet somewhere. But somewhere where he is.
If you ask where she is, you have to invest much more later on, which can also be OK, but only if you've go that much free time.

Somebody also said that the "busy issue" becomes relevant only if you haven't approached all the easier and more laid back targets you've seen, which seems unlikely to happen.

Yeah I would prefer to take numbers , that time it worked because it was in a small school where you always take your classes on the same classroom but outside of that it would be really hard to just ask her where you can find where and look for her , it would take a lot in investment and you could also com up as s stalker

 

[Ross]

Hey Ross if she decides to stay how do you normally procced to number close fast

After a decent hook-in for conversation such as the example I showed, they typically challenge and qualify with something such as:

• 
  1-"Oh, so you're the man of my dreams? *playful test*"
  2-"You think you can change my life? *skeptical, but interested*"
  3-"I doubt it. *skeptical, not interested*"
  4-*walks away*

Each one has a different route to take. For the first one, you can continue a little banter and then number close on a good note. For the second one, you can ramp up interest and show legitimacy by going for a number close. For the third one, you especially don't want to linger on that topic and need to connect a bit better. So, here would be some example responses from you:

• 1-"Jessica, the issue is that you can't please them all.. *aloof smile, pause for her to say something and briefly respond* I actually have somewhere that I need to be as well.. *lustily look at her* How about I get a phone number so that we can talk again?"
  
  2-"I don't know.. But it's certainly a possibility that we wouldn't want to miss out on, right? Here Jessica, lets put it to the test. What's your phone number?"
  
  3-"No need to worry about it, Jessica; I doubted it at first too. It's just so.. difficult isn't it? (builds intrigue, she may ask what is?) To have a conversation with someone you don't really know. (pause - she may suggest something, thus FINALLY contributing to the conversation) You know, that's a pretty good idea Jessica. We can talk about it another time, perhaps. What's your phone number?"

You need to get them contributing to the conversation before a number pull. Let them skate by on small talk and the number close will be either have a good potential for being flaky or won't happen at all. Focus on building intrigue and getting them to put effort into the conversation, and then number close. Don't be afraid of failure, as you can always learn from it.

 

[HalfGuard]

Thanks Ross , I'll start practicing those as it's fairly common to see girls in a rush.

 

[Ross]

Just realized I made a typo. The answer of yes/no to all those questions is a totally different response.

"Are you in a rush?" Yes = She's in a rush, so faster game I discussed No = Normal Game
"Do you have a moment?" Yes = Normal Game, No = In a rush
"Are you busy?" Yes = In a rush, No = Normal Game

But I think you understand the gist of what I was trying to say HalfGuard, and that's what's important.

 

[HalfGuard]

Just realized I made a typo. The answer of yes/no to all those questions is a totally different response.

"Are you in a rush?" Yes = She's in a rush, so faster game I discussed No = Normal Game
"Do you have a moment?" Yes = Normal Game, No = In a rush
"Are you busy?" Yes = In a rush, No = Normal Game

But I think you understand the gist of what I was trying to say HalfGuard, and that's what's important.

No problem , after reading it all I thought that you missplaced the answers , but I did got your point , thanks ross.
I´ll be putting this to use asap.

 

[lux7]

Me: "Everyone has time for a 60 second conversation with a man who can change their life"

Hmmm, sounds a bit "smart ass gamy" to be honest, but I like that you don't confirm that on the follow up because otherwise that could put you as the pursuer.

About your point of view, I like it, but sometimes avoiding the girls in a rush/busy can also just be about screening and going for the easier thing and the fact that one looks more relaxed doesn't mean she's lower value (the girl sitting on the bench might be catching her breath after having worked all day long on her start up and the one in rush might be in a rush because she's got bad organization skills or because she's always late or because she's hyperactive etc. etc. ).

Also, one more thing about choosing the hardest-looking target: if it's in a more closed environment like bar/club going after the busy-looking ones can be a self defeating strategy because people around might notice you getting rejected..

 

[Ross]

Me: "Everyone has time for a 60 second conversation with a man who can change their life"

Hmmm, sounds a bit "smart ass gamy" to be honest, but I like that you don't confirm that on the follow up because otherwise that could put you as the pursuer.

About your point of view, I like it, but sometimes avoiding the girls in a rush/busy can also just be about screening and going for the easier thing and the fact that one looks more relaxed doesn't mean she's lower value (the girl sitting on the bench might be catching her breath after having worked all day long on her start up and the one in rush might be in a rush because she's got bad organization skills or because she's always late or because she's hyperactive etc. etc. ).
.

I see what you're saying lucifer. Key to what I'm saying is to approach women I find attractive. So if a woman is sexily walking along towards her class, then I find her attractive and want to approach. If I open and then get some lame excuse that she is intent on doing something, I'm going to try to talk her out of it, because that's what will be better for her. If she's on a bench and I find her attractive? Even better because of logistics. Key is to approach all women you find attractive.

Also, one more thing about choosing the hardest-looking target: if it's in a more closed environment like bar/club going after the busy-looking ones can be a self defeating strategy because people around might notice you getting rejected..

Then don't get rejected . The harder she plays the mating dance, the harder I play it, and the more satisfied we both are when we go home. Working at the top of your game is fun, challenging, and makes you value her higher than others. You both win.

 

[lux7]

Then don't get rejected . The harder she plays the mating dance, the harder I play it, and the more satisfied we both are when we go home. Working at the top of your game is fun, challenging, and makes you value her higher than others. You both win.

Eheheh I see what you mean.
But see, the fact that I today accept failure more openly that I did some time ago is for me the biggest step forward I've had in terms of self improvement in... I don't know how long, but it is pretty important to me and I still want to improve in that realm.
So sinceI've just started my honeymoon of accepting failures as a normal, non ego-threatening things of life I find the "they didn't deserve you" prep talk counter productive to my personal growth .

Anyway, I'm just adding that "failure is OK point of view", I do agree with what you say and I like both this message of yours and the previous ones, very good contributions