Girls I've known for a while suddenly blocking me on Snapchat after one action

[windsofchange]

Hey guys,

This is a recurring pattern I've noticed creep up over the past year or so; and it's been affecting my ego dramatically each time it happens. Girls I've known for months, years that I on/off flirt with and felt like had gotten properly calibrated suddenly blocking me on Snapchat after one (mis-step?)

The key thing preached on here is better to get rejected than face regret; yet in these cases, the regret seems to be having made moves with bad timings? Maybe fresh perspectives could help me see what I can learn from these:

Scenario 1:
Girl I'd known for a few months ; talked quite often and I was actually getting used to having her in the friendzone just to have at least some girls I wasn't trying to sleep with. One night, we ended up sexting (mild sexting but sexting anyway), that was mostly or all initiated by her. I told her sorry I couldn't send any "d" pics but she seemed to suggest it's okay next time. Then a few days later, we didn't talk much, alot of on/off (she ended up busy with work and things), and when she got some downtime, I sent the pic. Instant blocked. No words, no questions. Just blocked.

Scenario 2:
Girl who had recently broken up with her bf and I had gotten to know each other well and were talking on Snapchat quite regularly. One of the nights, we ended up sexting. Now, she did feel bad about it saying this isn't who she is, etc. I felt I did well to assuage the feeling, but guess not. A few days later, I just send a shirtless pic and that was enough. Blocked. No words, no questions. Gone.

Scenario 3:
This one hit alot more; this was a girl I'd known for over 2 years. Now she does have a bf (or she got one a year ago, but not really sure if they're still together or not) There was a few tense situations in the past (where she got offended I'd even think of flirting sexually with her) ; but I didn't let it phase me and slowly things started getting a bit more flirty. Ie she following me into my frame (me being sexy, etc). One day I make a flirty joke on a pic she posted of her slapping her own butt.

Me: "I knew you needed to be spanked "
Her: "Haha"
Me: "Don't have to do it yourself. If you needed to be spanked "

Bam! Blocked on the spot.

The 2nd scenario I can understand more or less why it happened; she wasn't ready for that level and it just made her feel really bad and guilty. But the first and second, I felt we had developed the rapport and calibrated with previous steps that it would be okay to do those actions.

Any ideas on what may have caused what seems to me like sudden mood swing leading to insta block? Ideally I'd like to use these as learning steps to not repeat on future prospects.

Thanks in advance.

 

[ulrich]

1) Uncalibrated move, you let her cool off and then sent a dick pic.
Don’t do that, ever.

2) Again, uncalibrated move.
Girl is cold, not yet invested and you sent her something like that.
You are demanding too much compliance too soon.

3) Not such a bad move but uncalibrated.
The first comment may pass although is lacking discretion because social media comments are public, not private.
Then she responds with a “haha” and you go on flirting in such direct way in a public picture. She had to throw you under the bus.

Overall you’re doing uncalibrated moves over text and social media.
My suggestion is that you forget about sexting and flirting online and prioritize meeting these girls in person.
Use those numbers and profiles to get them out… long term having dates will also help more with your calibration.

 

[windsofchange]

Snapchat is a public picture?

@uriel : Thanks I figured it was that based on the articles on here but I couldn't pinpoint where it was the uncalibration.

 

[Rain]

How did you originally meet all of them? Cold approach daytime or ?

The first scenario, I'm not sure, but possibly, because there was a gap in time of a few days in the conversation from the original interaction that got like that, and then like "randomly" you sent her that. Because of that big gap, she may have forgotten about it and then gotten this randomly and its like I don't know this guy why is he sending me this? But someone with more experience with this type of thing might be able to make a better judgement on that. Because yeah, forgetting that you had that conversation with someone, I guess it depends if she did it with other guys or not, and also how umm... how good her memory is maybe. But again, I'm not sure if that is the reason or could even be a reason?

Okay seen @uriel response seems he thinks the same about that scenario. Maybe she met someone new in the meantime and then like, getting that randomly is not good because her emotions shift to a new guy maybe?

 

[ulrich]

Snapchat is a public picture?

Mmmm never used Snapchat, thought you were talking Instagram.

 

[windsofchange]

How did you originally meet all of them? Cold approach daytime or ?

The first scenario, I'm not sure, but possibly, because there was a gap in time of a few days in the conversation from the original interaction that got like that, and then like "randomly" you sent her that. Because of that big gap, she may have forgotten about it and then gotten this randomly and its like I don't know this guy why is he sending me this? But someone with more experience with this type of thing might be able to make a better judgement on that. Because yeah, forgetting that you had that conversation with someone, I guess it depends if she did it with other guys or not, and also how umm... how good her memory is maybe. But again, I'm not sure if that is the reason or could even be a reason?

Okay seen @uriel response seems he thinks the same about that scenario. Maybe she met someone new in the meantime and then like, getting that randomly is not good because her emotions shift to a new guy maybe?

The first two I met online on an app called Whisper before we exchanged pics and went to Snapchat.

The last one I met as she was a hostess at a restaurant that closed since pandemic.

@uriel : the comments were all in private chat; so unless she was with someone else, only us two saw them.

 

[Rain]

Snapchat is a public picture?

I think snapchat you can choose to send pictures/video snaps to 'everyone' or just to selected people but I'd need to check.
So the comments you wrote were in private chat, but the pic she sent, I'm thinking that was probably to more than one person since it was in the non direct messages section if I'm understanding correctly.

 

[windsofchange]

I think snapchat you can choose to send pictures/video snaps to 'everyone' or just to selected people but I'd need to check.
So the comments you wrote were in private chat, but the pic she sent, I'm thinking that was probably to more than one person since it was in the non direct messages section if I'm understanding correctly.

Yes. She posted it on "story" ; and i commented on it but only her and I see what was commented. Comments on "stories" goes into a private DM chat between sender and sendee.

 

[ulrich]

@uriel : the comments were all in private chat; so unless she was with someone else, only us two saw them.

Still I feel the second text was uncalibrated.
Too much investment on your part when she is not biting… it is OK if you don’t care what happens, though.

What is Whisper? Some kind of dating app?
If yes, why are you trying to sext with girls from dating apps?… getting them out should be your only priority.

 

[windsofchange]

Still I feel the second text was uncalibrated.
Too much investment on your part when she is not biting… it is OK if you don’t care what happens, though.

What is Whisper? Some kind of dating app?
If yes, why are you trying to sext with girls from dating apps?… getting them out should be your only priority.

Probably a ego boost thing more than anything. Yes it's an anonymous app that alot of people (myself included) end up using for hookups / dating. It's been my main source of success tbh the past few years.

The sexting has worked in the past so I guess I got addicted to the endorphins here, but the app is starting to have significantly diminishing returns these days. Have to work on more approaches in real life.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Girls I've known for months, years that I on/off flirt with

I can't really step in and analyze something like this because I can't see the text messages over years - but this type of behavior is the overall problem - Maintaining "friendships" that go nowhere.

Only treading water without swimming or getting out will lead to you drowning.

WIA

 

[windsofchange]

I can't really step in and analyze something like this because I can't see the text messages over years - but this type of behavior is the overall problem - Maintaining "friendships" that go nowhere.

Only treading water without swimming or getting out will lead to you drowning.

WIA

I like to think I keep them around because I've others I'm working on as I go but they seem to be more like anchors dragging me back than anything now.

 

[ph40]

Hey guys,

This is a recurring pattern I've noticed creep up over the past year or so; and it's been affecting my ego dramatically each time it happens. Girls I've known for months, years that I on/off flirt with and felt like had gotten properly calibrated suddenly blocking me on Snapchat after one (mis-step?)

The key thing preached on here is better to get rejected than face regret; yet in these cases, the regret seems to be having made moves with bad timings? Maybe fresh perspectives could help me see what I can learn from these:

Scenario 1:
Girl I'd known for a few months ; talked quite often and I was actually getting used to having her in the friendzone just to have at least some girls I wasn't trying to sleep with. One night, we ended up sexting (mild sexting but sexting anyway), that was mostly or all initiated by her. I told her sorry I couldn't send any "d" pics but she seemed to suggest it's okay next time. Then a few days later, we didn't talk much, alot of on/off (she ended up busy with work and things), and when she got some downtime, I sent the pic. Instant blocked. No words, no questions. Just blocked.

Scenario 2:
Girl who had recently broken up with her bf and I had gotten to know each other well and were talking on Snapchat quite regularly. One of the nights, we ended up sexting. Now, she did feel bad about it saying this isn't who she is, etc. I felt I did well to assuage the feeling, but guess not. A few days later, I just send a shirtless pic and that was enough. Blocked. No words, no questions. Gone.

Scenario 3:
This one hit alot more; this was a girl I'd known for over 2 years. Now she does have a bf (or she got one a year ago, but not really sure if they're still together or not) There was a few tense situations in the past (where she got offended I'd even think of flirting sexually with her) ; but I didn't let it phase me and slowly things started getting a bit more flirty. Ie she following me into my frame (me being sexy, etc). One day I make a flirty joke on a pic she posted of her slapping her own butt.

Me: "I knew you needed to be spanked "
Her: "Haha"
Me: "Don't have to do it yourself. If you needed to be spanked "

Bam! Blocked on the spot.

The 2nd scenario I can understand more or less why it happened; she wasn't ready for that level and it just made her feel really bad and guilty. But the first and second, I felt we had developed the rapport and calibrated with previous steps that it would be okay to do those actions.

Any ideas on what may have caused what seems to me like sudden mood swing leading to insta block? Ideally I'd like to use these as learning steps to not repeat on future prospects.

Thanks in advance.

In every single instance you showed THIRST to the girl.

Scenario 1:

Her requesting dick pics is a shit test. Only a thirsty man would comply with something like that. In that situation you should never have sent the dick pic. Just forget she even brought it up. If you ever send something like a dick pic, (I wouldn't, ever, for anyone), it needs to be you doing it on your own volition and not her requesting it or even bringing it up.

Scenario 2:

Again, sending shirtless pics? Thirsty man move. The average woman can get a guy with a ripped six pack to hit her up on social media and bang her with ease. You, an average guy (even if you do have a great upper body, it's a dime a dozen), sending a shirtless pic does nothing for her but signal that you are thirsty or looking for approval.

Scenario 3:

A girl posting a pic of her slapping her butt is like a stripper shaking her ass on stage in front of you. It's obviously designed to draw attention to her. In some ways it's a shit test to see your level of thirst. A man with a low level of thirst would just ignore such an obvious attention-getter. A man with a high level of thirst will comment on it, like it, get wildly turned on by it. Again, she was offended by your level of thirst and cut you off. Never respond the way she wants you to respond when she demonstrates a high level of attention whoring, through a picture, or video, or dressing a certain way, or anything.

I'm not an expert on women by any means, but one thing I definitely have learned over the years is that women are absolutely disgusted by men who show high levels of thirst. If you ever talk to a stripper, they'll tell you that they secretly DESPISE all of the horny guys throwing dollar bills at them in the club. Women just naturally have an aversion to men who are turned on easily or attracted easily and don't have the maturity to sublimate their attraction in their speech or actions.