Girls Not Fessing Up to Still Having a Boyfriend

[JMP_123]

Whats good board, so I want to see if and who has run into a situation I have.

One girl i'm more than moderately interested in is someone I have gone out for lunch a few times and she has met me out for drinks a few times as well. Unfortunately I know she was dating a guy at one point a year ago, and her FB still says she is. She has never mentioned him to me, and doesn't have anything up on FB about him other than her status. She clearly enjoys our time together and does call/text me and want to make various plans.

On my end there feels to be an elephant in the room of if she is on the rocks with a boyfriend or is still happily dating. Neither is clear to me or from anything else I have seen. Aside from straight up asking her, how would I go about clearing the air on that situation just so I know how to move forward?

 

[Marty]

My friend,

Did you make your intentions abundantly clear before you asked for the date each time? That usually means complimenting her on something obviously romantic or sexual (eyes, hair, legs, cute face, smile etc.) BEFORE you ask her out. What we call "going direct".

Every time a girl declines a date invitation from me, it is "because I have a boyfriend" (or "I'm married"). Whether or not that is actually true is irrelevant... it just means that she has correctly perceived my intentions as very much non-Platonic, because I have done her the favor of being direct... which also demonstrates courage, incidentally.

The trouble with being indirect is she may legitimately assume you just want to be friends; or will settle for "orbiting" her just to be near her even if you are attracted.

And if she accepts and follows through on a date request after you HAVE been direct, then regardless of her actual relationship status, you have a green light to escalate to the next step: keep moving!

-Marty