Going on a date with a girl who says she has a boyfriend

[journeyman]

Hey Gents, in general I try to avoid seeking advice for individual interactions because otherwise it would get annoying, but I am interested in that one not because of the girl but because I think the same situation will come up again in the future.

I met the girl yesterday, as described here https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?t=11200#p59691 so I will quote

I found 2 girls that were constantly together (best friends or whatever), and I aggresively teased the attractive one in plain confronting manner and I think I handled it quite well, I think I set a good frame from the beginning, when I went to get a drink she gave me her cup and told me to fill her cup from the jug as well and I told her that maybe I would if she asked nicely and she had a frustrated look but she took my cup and went over to fill both hers and mine lol

I would spike her emotions, she would leave apparently angry or insulted and then after a few minutes she would come back and reengage me lol. But after than that I dropped the ball, I should have asked her to go out to chill when her emotions were high, but then I waited and we moved places and her unattractive friend started subtly hitting on me so I left them alone. When I met them later at a club all my game was gone. I just handled her like a chode, tried to dance with her and then kiss her but she wouldn't even keep eye contact with me and then she suggested that we go back with the rest of the group. It was funny because I remembered again after a few months how it feels to not have a plan about interactions with girls and going with the flow, so ineffective and stupid.

Strange thing is that she added me on FB today so she might have been so drunk that she didn't even understand that I hit on her (Don't think this is possible the more I think about it).

.

So surprisingly today after adding me on FB, she messaged me first and the convo was like this:

Her: Hey when did you leave yesterday? I haven't had the chance to say goodbye.
Me: Yeah we left a bit suddenly, it was fun till the end though.
.
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then standard get-to-know each other text with some teasing.
.
.
Me: tell you what I think you might be cool and I want to find out, we should go for a drink this week. Do you have any free time?
Her: Yeah I would definitely be up for a drink but I should probably tell you that I have a boyfriend. So if you would like to be friends, that's cool with me.
Me: It's ok, I am not looking for a girlfriend.
Her: Great! Then lets do something. When are you free?
.
.
we arrange a day and time and I get her number to text her the location later.

First of all: Should I have pushed hard and set a date -or -nothing frame or try to destroy her friend frame? I stole the phrase about not looking for a girlfriend from the boards but I might have used it in a wrong context.

Secondly, I don't want to waste my time, so do you think there is a chance of anything happening if I play it right, or should I cancel it? Actually she might have a cool social circle so I guess wouldn't hurt even having her as a friend.

The way I thought about it is not take anything she says at face value and look at the facts. She flirted with me all night, complied and then even though she rejected my clumsy attempt, she messaged me first. And she knows now that I find her attractive and she still will "risk" to go out with me.

What's your take on that?
Cheers,
sakbishop

 

[HellAtlantic]

You used "I'm not looking for a gf" incorrectly. That can only be used face to face where the girl can see you smirk and understand what you're implying. Reading it in text it made her think you said "it's ok that you have a BF, I wasn't looking for a gf anyway so I'm cool being friends." You might wanna rethink your date cuz it mostly likely is gonna be a waste of time unless you like her as a friend.

Perhaps something like: "hey I was chilling earlier and reread these texts and i realized my 'I'm not looking for a gf' could've been misinterpreted. I meant that like I don't want us to be 'girlfriends' and go shopping together lol. I'm a guy and you're a girl, so...Just wanna make sure we're on the same page, if ur still cool with hanging that's great, but just know I'm not interested in us painting our nails." Something along these lines.

 

[journeyman]

Hey thanks for the input hellatlantic. I think it's too late to save it, if I don't want to go I will probably cancel altogether. Technically I wouldn't mind keeping her as a friend, but I haven't been out one vs one with a girl before just for socializing. Maybe I should do it just for the experience I will think about it.

 

[HellAtlantic]

No doubt. Hey any experience with a girl is always useful experience, right? And just think, at the end of the day she said she has a BF - not a husband! Lol. You never know haha.

 

[journeyman]

Turned out she rejected me, but still am very glad that I did go out, was a fun night and I learned a lot. All the details are in my latest journal post.