Going out alone to clubs / bars - any advice?

[Therasen]

Hey all,

28 y/o guy here but I look about 25.

I've used Tinder for the last 5 years and banged girls from it, but I've found the quality pretty lacklustre overall. I don't have a great profile and don't have a great instagram either to back it up, both of which I think hurt my chances. I'm also around average looking facially, but with some height (6'2) in my favour, which might give me a slight edge.

I want to go out solo and see if I can pull and get better quality, but I feel an immense amount of 'pressure' I guess you could say when I'm in a packed nightclub alone. I feel incredibly awkward and stifled - does anyone know how to get over this feeling, loosen up and approach?

 

[Hue]

I definitely recommend ripping a shot or two to take the edge off. You can do it sober, it's just a more difficult process of getting socially warmed up... especially at a club where superficial distractions are high.

Recognize that you have something in common with everyone there: you're at the same club to get drunk, meet people, and have fun. Carry that frame with you and jump into the action. You just gotta start talking to people in general, and then let that social momentum carry you into game with the ladies.

Also, you can leverage your isolation as an attractive person. Being alone can draw attention, which is good in crowded venues.

Hold your drink on your side (not in front of you like you're guarding yourself) look upward, and smile. That tells people you're comfortable with what you're doing, and builds an air of "I wonder what that guys up to". Then you can always start conversation as if you're waiting on someone else (some friend in the bathroom or something), and if you strike up a good convo just let that carry you.... go where the wind takes you.

And a perfect way to meet girls is at the bar itself, where you have a moment alone with them as they buy a drink. "How's your night going?" is my go to.


Going out alone is usually the only way I get laid lol. You have such an advantage because there's no one there to hold you back and have your attention directed towards. You're allowed to be selfish and enjoy the true abundance of potential people to create friends, and to create lovers with.


Hue

 

[Therasen]

I definitely recommend ripping a shot or two to take the edge off. You can do it sober, it's just a more difficult process of getting socially warmed up... especially at a club where superficial distractions are high.

Recognize that you have something in common with everyone there: you're at the same club to get drunk, meet people, and have fun. Carry that frame with you and jump into the action. You just gotta start talking to people in general, and then let that social momentum carry you into game with the ladies.

Also, you can leverage your isolation as an attractive person. Being alone can draw attention, which is good in crowded venues.

Hold your drink on your side (not in front of you like you're guarding yourself) look upward, and smile. That tells people you're comfortable with what you're doing, and builds an air of "I wonder what that guys up to". Then you can always start conversation as if you're waiting on someone else (some friend in the bathroom or something), and if you strike up a good convo just let that carry you.... go where the wind takes you.

And a perfect way to meet girls is at the bar itself, where you have a moment alone with them as they buy a drink. "How's your night going?" is my go to.


Going out alone is usually the only way I get laid lol. You have such an advantage because there's no one there to hold you back and have your attention directed towards. You're allowed to be selfish and enjoy the true abundance of potential people to create friends, and to create lovers with.


Hue

Good advice thanks. Do you have any tips of dealing with the anxiety before the night out? I get psyched out before I even leave.

 

[Skills]

Hey all,

28 y/o guy here but I look about 25.

I've used Tinder for the last 5 years and banged girls from it, but I've found the quality pretty lacklustre overall. I don't have a great profile and don't have a great instagram either to back it up, both of which I think hurt my chances. I'm also around average looking facially, but with some height (6'2) in my favour, which might give me a slight edge.

I want to go out solo and see if I can pull and get better quality, but I feel an immense amount of 'pressure' I guess you could say when I'm in a packed nightclub alone. I feel incredibly awkward and stifled - does anyone know how to get over this feeling, loosen up and approach?

I love going out alone, and is how i prefer it... Just keep moving is one tip, do not let a girl see you too much if you are not making a move to avoid the "i seen him enough i am bored" "used furniture factor" anyways, this is mostly a mental thing just do not project your feeling inadequate cause you will project it... ---> this is the main problem with going out alone... Going alone has many advantages as well ( i do not recommend the alcohol cause it may become a crutch later on)... There are some alternative mood enhancers that are natural...

http://www.theskillsmethod.com/sarging-alone-advantages-and-disadvantages/

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Good advice thanks. Do you have any tips of dealing with the anxiety before the night out? I get psyched out before I even leave.

@Therasen dude! to get over the anxiety just do it! It can be nervous before doing anything, just tell yourself that its better to do it. The hardest part is starting but you wont meet girls in person staying in. Think of the positives that you will meet girls. Try not to over think it dude, don't think just act. Once you get out ya will be fine. Meditation can help, working out can help and last minute before you go out just play some music rather loud and sing along or go and scream somewhere. Literally just screaming come on can help get rid of the anxiety if its channelled.

A few deep breaths, clear your mind and then go for it dude!

 

[Sub-Zero]

Hey all,

28 y/o guy here but I look about 25.

I've used Tinder for the last 5 years and banged girls from it, but I've found the quality pretty lacklustre overall. I don't have a great profile and don't have a great instagram either to back it up, both of which I think hurt my chances. I'm also around average looking facially, but with some height (6'2) in my favour, which might give me a slight edge.

I want to go out solo and see if I can pull and get better quality, but I feel an immense amount of 'pressure' I guess you could say when I'm in a packed nightclub alone. I feel incredibly awkward and stifled - does anyone know how to get over this feeling, loosen up and approach?

Grabbing a drink imo works wonders. It just makes you fit in more and it makes you look like you’re there to drink and relax.

Doesn’t have to be alcohol, could be soda, but it just gives you a calm when you have a drink.

If you don’t have a drink and you’re not used to going out, you’ll just look like a guy there who’s not talking to anyone.

Also most people don’t care and if a girl likes you she’ll be cool with it or won’t even ask most of the time.

Another thing is that a decent amount of people go out alone as well, just look around a little bit and you’ll see.

It sucks a little going out solo, but you can do what you want, leave when you want, go where you want, bring girls home, go to their home, etc.

It’s just so easy to make moves solo.

Just have to get used to it.

 

[naturalmikey]

open guys everyone. guys too. the last thing you want to do is be standing around and lose momentum. also go out later. you're not gonna have the energy to constantly open people for 4-5 hours most likely. go out a couple hours before close and just start opening.

 

[Space]

Grabbing a drink imo works wonders. It just makes you fit in more and it makes you look like you’re there to drink and relax.

Doesn’t have to be alcohol, could be soda, but it just gives you a calm when you have a drink.

If you don’t have a drink and you’re not used to going out, you’ll just look like a guy there who’s not talking to anyone.

I'm sorry to be the resident nitpicker (hell, someone needs to be) but let me add a little common sense here. Do you suggest to hold a drink for the whole duration while one is at a club - bar? If you are like most people at a bar or a club, you will hold a drink (or two or three) some time, but not the whole time, and it's fine. Depending on factors like how much the establishment is rather a bar or a club with a dancefloor and if you plan to dance, or how often do you want to go to the toilet to pee...

Maybe I'm a bad example with holding drinks as I usually finish my soda relatively fast (by the time I reach the bar - club I become thirsty, too) and usually not any of the girls I find more interesting during the night end up seeing me at the perfect time with my drink in my hand. Maybe they haven't even arrived to the establishment yet while I'm with my drink. I don't stay long in one place. Going for another drink would lose them so I can show them a "cheers" with a hand sign or just cut the drinking reference altogether and talk to them normally, what's wrong with that? But again, I wasn't the one asking for the advice and these are only my 2 cents.

 

[Sub-Zero]

I'm sorry to be the resident nitpicker (hell, someone needs to be) but let me add a little common sense here. Do you suggest to hold a drink for the whole duration while one is at a club - bar? If you are like most people at a bar or a club, you will hold a drink (or two or three) some time, but not the whole time, and it's fine. Depending on factors like how much the establishment is rather a bar or a club with a dancefloor and if you plan to dance, or how often do you want to go to the toilet to pee...

Maybe I'm a bad example with holding drinks as I usually finish my soda relatively fast (by the time I reach the bar - club I become thirsty, too) and usually not any of the girls I find more interesting during the night end up seeing me at the perfect time with my drink in my hand. Maybe they haven't even arrived to the establishment yet while I'm with my drink. I don't stay long in one place. Going for another drink would lose them so I can show them a "cheers" with a hand sign or just cut the drinking reference altogether and talk to them normally, what's wrong with that? But again, I wasn't the one asking for the advice and these are only my 2 cents.

Common sense would tell you that you know exactly what I meant

Of course you don’t need to have a drink the whole night lmao. You know you can have one drink for a little while and not have to drink the whole thing right?

You can approach without having a drink as well, didn’t say you couldn’t and that doesn’t matter.

What I was saying was that it helps with your nerves when you have a drink with you. You don’t need a drink, it helps.

For most people if you go out alone, you’re going to be nervous af. A drink helps you calm down and relax.

Hope I cleared confusion.

 

[Hue]

Sober Nightgame Tips and Tidbits

This may be helpful as well.

 

[Eternity]

Depends how bad you want it bruh. I just started going out solo doing night game and im becoming somewhat addicted to having women around me at the bar. That's my motivation. Go to places where they have a live band so you are looking off into the distance, sitting down, beer in hand, back to the bar and opening girls over the shoulder. Start small and open dudes over the band playing, the bar, ect.. Then move on to women. Small and keep upping the ante slowly until you develop an instinct for it. It will become addicting having bitches flock to you because some cute bitch talked to you for a minute or two while you seem to do it effortlessly. Preselection is a real powerful thing. Venue bounce if the place, band, ambient sucks. Thotties are all over town, find them. Deuces.