Casual/FWB Got intimate with a girl and now she´s acting weird

[RicoSuave]

I got semi-intimate on our second date with this gorgeous venezuelan girl that I met on Ok Cupid (although a little bit overweighed but I didn´t matter). I invited over text to my place to have some wine, then after kissing we went to bed to caress each other but didn´t have sex due to her period even thought I told her was OK with me. I asked to stay the night and sleep with me. The next morning I invited her for brunch to a bistro, on the streets we were holding hands and kissed her passionately.
3 days later I invited to my place again and we had passionate sex 4 times (30 – 40 minutes each time), asked her to stay the night again with me.
A couple of days later on Friday I texted her: “About last night…” she replied “What?” I said “Fabulous” “Simply fabulous”, she replied “Thought was not last night, but the night before that”.
I replied “Both because last night you were on my mind…with a grin on my face”
She: “Awww” “And yes, was fabulous”
I replied with a wink and messages stopped. Three hours and a half later she texted “So, you thought of me last night?” followed by “how was your first session with your new therapist”
I replied: “I liked the therapist” followed by “Yes, I did (think about her)”
Minutes later I texted: “I´m veryyy horny and close to your place. 2 good piece of information to bear in mind, isn’t it?”
Half hour later she replied “Ups, I see this right now” “I´m having dinner with my girlfriends close to my house”
I replied: “And I´m having coffee with my boys in your neighbor”
She “Were exactly” “I´m heading home”
I replied “On the corner of A and B streets”
She: “Very close, I´m 20 blocks away, but en route to my place”
I replied: “I finished”
She: “I´m home” and 5 minutes later to my surprise she texted: “Well…I´m going to sleep…Kisses”

3 days passed by and we didn´t hear from each other. Since we met at OKCupid I asked the next day to my best friend who is also a member to check the last time she logged in (I didn´t do it for obvious reasons) and he told me she was online…and the last time she logged in was on Saturday night at 11.30 pm
She is 36 years old and on her online profile she is looking for new friends, short term dating and long term dating (same as my profile). But I bet she´s looking really for a long term relationship which I don´t mind since I really like this girl.
Then why the hell she was online on a Saturday night instead of calling me?

P.S: Coincidence we both have 2 acquaintances in common on Facebook, but she and I are not friends there, and I told her I have only 1 contact in common (one of her best girlfriends that is in my FB contacts but she´s not my friend and I wouldn´t ask anything).
The truth is I didn´t tell her that one of my boys is a Facebook friend of hers. Her Facebook timeline can be seen by friends of her friend, and I can only see some posts due to her privacy settings. My friend told me she posted yesterday a cartoon with a woman sitting on bed screaming “Somebody pamper me….shit I forgot I´m an independent women”
Curiously when we chatted for the first time we used the word Pampering…so I don´t know if that was an indirect message for me.
I´m infatuated over this girl and if opportunity arises I gladly would have a LTR but if not a casual relationship would be OK....the problem is I don´t know where I´m standing now and I don´t want to look like a pushover or desperate.
Any thoughts?
Thanks
Rico Suave

 

[Dude909]

Hey man. I'm on a tablet so I'll keep this short and sweet. You made two very frequent newbie mistakes: first, you didn't leave her any space and acted needy from the beginning. Second, you acted very lovey dovey on one hand and then booty called her, which is incoherent and confused her.

From now on, you need to start things slow with every new girl. Don't meet them too frequently (once a week is a good rule of thumb), don't text them too much (ideally only for logistics), don't pay them so many compliments. "Make her the gift of missing you". Even if you think you want an LTR, you need to start slow, and casual, because you don't know someone well enough for several months to know if you actually are compatible for the long term. In the meantime neediness kills attraction. Once you have decided if you want to upgrade to a serious, intimate relationship, and she has showed signs she is willing to do so as well, you can slowly start acting more "relationshippy".

 

[RicoSuave]

Hey Dude909 thank you so much for your response

I´m updating the situation:
Sent her a WhatsApp on Monday night, July 27th (3 days after last text): Don´know what are you up to, just want to know that you are a pretty amazing girl and hope are able to look back on what transpired between you and I, and be happy about it, and think to yourself it would be very nice to happen again.
On purpose I turned off mobile data after sending that text, so all messages sent by her would appear as unreceived. It really worked! And I received 4 messages plus a missed call from her 24 hours later.
Her first message : Hi I´m having a pleasant night with some friends and very happy to read your words and fully agree with them and would love to repeat the experience. How are U ?
Her 2nd message at 1 AM: Silent apparently
Her 3 message at 10 AM: Are you OK?
Her 4th message on OK Cupid: I´m concerned I replied your message but appears to me as unreceived…has your phone been stolen? Are you ok? Hope so
And there was a missing call from her also.
When I replied at night 24 hours later I excused myself that I turned off accidentaly mobile data, she said was worried and though something happened to me. Said she was going to dinner asking me to talk later. 3 hours later she told me was home and started talking on the phone for 3 hours (from 1 AM to 4 AM). Asked her when was OK for a meeting, said on Saturday her schedule was busy but on Friday night was going to a bar in front of my apartment and after that she could come.
The weekend passed by with no news (this was the first weekend of August)
The following monday I texted: Would liked to have met on Friday. Would U like to meet?
She replied: Finally didn´t go to the bar. Had a complicated day…
Besides why didn´t you contact me that day?
I replied: Because I´m not invasive
And my question if you want to meet is in present tense: With no pressures, if you want, you may answer when you want.
She replied: Wouldn´t have been invasive, but well…
This week I´m very complicated, but the upcoming week I have time.

(I did not answer that text, but 2 days later I texted her)
Me: Missing U
She: Awww (with a happy emoticon)
Me: Have a lovely afternoon.
She: You too. I´m still working, meeting friends later
Me: Had a tough and productive day
She: Good!

That was on August, 5th
My idea is to not contact her anymore. Maybe with some luck she may text in 1 or 2 months. But I think I lost her.
I know I did rookie mistakes. Even though I´m intermediate/advanced level I thought that with an overweighted girl who is single and beyond 35 would have given her piece of mind that an attractive and successful guy would be so much into her.
Another mistake I made was to tell her I checked her facebook photos (open to friends of friends) and that I found cute her dog.
The last time I have been with her was on July 22.

Any idea of the ellipsis in the two sentences written by her? (Finally didn´t go to the bar. Had a complicated day…) (Wouldn´t have been invasive, but well…)
And what about her excuse?? (Besides why didn´t you contact me that day?)
HOW CAN A GUY MANAGE OR OVERCOME THE ANXIETY OF GETTING SERIOUS WITH A GIRL HE´SO MUCH INTO EVEN HE KNOWS HER BARELY? (Besides dating dating other girls simultaneously - sometimes you have a dry spell, and no other interesting girls are on sight)
Any thoughts? Recommended articles?
Thank you for reading this!!!

 

[ray_zorse]

Missed window. Her emotion peaked when she thought she was getting sex that night, and died when you had your phone off. She then looked at the text she'd written and thought "ugh! I threw myself at that guy!" ... It's good to be not too available, but in this case you didn't calibrate well!

NEXT and ignore, it's just the way it is, you're obviously in scarcity because you're treating her as "YOUR BIG CHANCE" ... she isn't! And, why do you say she's overweight and she should be grateful to have a chance with you, and then later on, that you're infatuated with her? If she's low value and you're infatuated then doesn't that just reek of desperation on your part? Anyway, all girls would like you to get out your A game with them, female attraction works just the same whether she's fat or thin, old or young, ugly or beautiful... slumming it while thinking it's a slam dunk never works!

Ray