Grand Pooba's Grindin' Journal

[Grand Pooba]

I've been reading up through a few journals from other peeps, and now that I'm single again it's time to start up a journal to track growth once more.

Stealing this from Nick's journal - I think this is a good reference to go back to:

Boyo-

Hmm... I haven't actually sat down and given this a whole lot of thought, and I'm pretty sure the stages of learning to pick up girls are exactly parallel with the stages of learning any other challenging new skill. If I had to list out stages for this offhand, I'd say:

1. Brand new: it dawns on you that this is a skill to learn... and suddenly the world seems filled with new promise, excitement, and unlimited potential

2. Into the thick of it: going out religiously, and coming to grips with the realization that this is way harder than you thought it was going to be... you thought you'd be able to just snap your fingers and be doing great, but now you're starting to realize how completely unskilled you are, and how very far away you are from where you'd like to end up

3. Grinding: you've come to terms with your lack of skill, dealt with the painful emotions your insufficiency meted out to you, and now you're over it; now you're just grinding. You're just doing basic exercises again and again, focused on developing a base level of proficiency. You suck, and you aren't getting results, but that doesn't matter; what you're focused on is inching your way up, bit by tiny bit

4. Initial success: you've started experiencing some initial success (slept with a girl off of pickup). This is your first real "breakthrough" period; this is where you've found that yes, you can make this work for you too. Once you've had some initial success, it's pretty common to get a few more successes in a row (sleep with a few more girls within a few weeks or months off of pickup)

5. Post-success plateau: you hit a plateau where it feels like you can get girls on occasion, but the really high caliber girls are few and far between, and it sort of feels like you're able to get roughly the success of an "okay" natural guy, only with a lot more work than he puts in to get that success. There are still a lot of guys out there who do far and away better with women than you do, and aren't even doing a fraction of the work you are. It starts to feel like maybe this is as good as you're going to get... and that wouldn't be horrible, but it would be kind of disappointing, considering how hard you've worked. A lot of guys get a decent girlfriend and check out of the game at this stage

6. Commitment to grinding: if you don't wife up a pretty-good girl at this point, you end up reaching a point where you say to yourself, "You know what? Screw it. I'm going to buckle down and do whatever it takes to get great at this." Most of the other guys who started learning game at the same time you did have dropped out by now, so you're among a select, dedicated crowd. You realize you've been more or less coasting since you started getting that initial success, and begin taking a more methodical approach to your game again, akin to the one you had back in your pre-success grinding days. You start biting off bits and pieces and tackling your game in a small-improvement-by-small-improvement way once more

7. Major breakthrough (abundance): the major breakthrough comes when you have some watershed experience where you realize that you can pick up a sufficiently cute girl any time you want, so long as you go somewhere with enough different women to meet and you have enough time to keep meeting new girls there. This is the moment when you really feel you've "made it"; you're never going to worry about not being able to get laid again, and you will always be able to have sex with a new girl whenever you want to do it. There aren't many men who stay at it long enough to reach this point, and you're one of a small class of "enlightened" men who can now look at dating, relationships, pickup, and seduction candidly and see them for what they are, rather than trying to delude yourself with fairy tales to protect yourself from an uncertain reality

8. Post-breakthrough soul-searching: the next stage comes when you realize that you can get laid whenever you want, but really amazing, soulmate-caliber girls are still a rare event to you. You start to wonder if maybe you should settle down if you have a girl like this, or if you should start searching for a girl like this. No amount of sleeping with ordinary new women can come close to matching what it's like having a single exceptional girl like this. This is the point where many experienced seducers drop out of the game and pair off with one of those rare high caliber women

9. Commitment to grinding again: if you stick with it, you commit to grinding again, this time with the objective of perfecting your game to such a degree that you're able to not just get laid whenever you want - that's old hat - but now, to be able to find, attract, and sleep with the highest quality women out there: the ones that make your heart flutter and beat fast, and get to a place that you can meet these women easily and regularly, and actually get them as easily as you get ordinary girls

10. Major breakthrough #2 (absolute abundance): if you reach this point, the most amazing women in the world are yours. Sure, you don't get every woman you set your eyes on... but you can meet girls who are your dreams girls in relatively short order, and get them quite consistently. The idea of picking one girl and permanently settling down feels crazy to you, because you'd be missing out on so many other of your dream girls out there. You're at a place now where the highest heights of pickup have been reached

11. Deciding how to use your skill set: finally, you start deciding what you want to do now that there's not much new frontier to conquer; sure, you can try things like cold approach threesomes, or picking up girls on airplanes mid-flight and sleeping with them then and there, or find some other way to challenge yourself, but the real question is what do you want to do with your life?: do you want to construct a harem of women? Start having children with different girls? Live the life of the perpetual bachelor, unmoored and truly free of roots and responsibilities? Something different?

12. Acceptance of skill and moving on in pursuits: once you've decided what path you'll take over the long-term, you stop working too much on pickup, and it just becomes something you do and a part of your life, and not something you think about. Now that you've learned a challenging skill to a high degree, you know the skill-building process inside and out, and you can use that to expedite your learning with another skill set. You begin to turn your energies toward something else, like building writing, art, or building businesses

That's the rough progression. Plenty of dropping out goes on along the way, but there are tons of rewards for the few men who stick with it all the way through. Realistically, most men won't; not necessarily because the rewards aren't worth it to them, but because they're satisfied enough with what they get at the lower levels, or they don't really believe in the potential rewards enough to justify the large amount of work it takes to actually get there.

Chase

In my last round, I got up to Level 5 and then LTR'ed with a pretty awesome girlfriend. Now that we're no longer together seven months later, it's hard for me to say if I'm at Level 1 or Level 5. Either way, I want to get all the way to Level 12. I will not settle for anything less - I'm going to learn this the whole way through!

GP

 

[PrettyDecent]

Ey, this one will be sick, GP. I'm stoked to see where you go with this!

~Nick

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yeah Grand Pooba excited to see some reports coming soon! It's been a while.

I think the 3 of us (and probably a good majority of the boards actually) are all on the same path regarding mastering the 12 levels of PU mastery that Chase outlined.

Lets stay on top things!

By the way I'm going to catch up to you guys soon if you don't put things in gear

-Rob

 

[Grand Pooba]

It's been a while since I first posted, so it's about time for an update.
I've been meeting quite a few girls in the last few weeks, aside from taking a break this past week. I've also been on three dates, one which ended in an LR and the other two which didn't end so well - one I downright blew out on because I was deceptive and subsequently lost faith in myself. I'll post those below, but a few things that I really need to work on:

- I think the bulk of where I need to focus on is refining the little things in my approach - touching at the right times, keeping solid posture, not looking down - and in my texting, and finally in making a girl comfortable in my presence when I haven't really gotten to know her yet.
- I also need to value myself a little more - I had one date where the girl was downright disrespectful and starting texting a friend during our coffee, and instead of walking away I just continued the date. Not a good move for a high value guy.
- I need to be more mindful of making girls comfortable and setting subtle sexual frames at the right time - basically, I need a better understanding of escalation windows and how to set these up. I can't move a girl back to my place before this happens. The examples below are good here - the first one was far too soon, and the second was just right.

----

FR: Girl at the Bar on a Snowstorm Night

This girl is 29, and I met her at a neighborhood bar during a snowstorm two Mondays ago. She was the sole female among a group of guys, and she was coordinating a happy hour excursion that night. We had good energy and she turned to me frequently to chat (instead of chatting with the rest of her group). She flaked on the first time I tried to set something up with her. So I played it cool and I didn't make a big deal out of it, and we rescheduled for drinks Wednesday night at a place one block away (30 second walk) from my apartment.

I showed up there and she came about 30 seconds later, and we both sat at the bar. I pulled out the seat for her and she sat next to me. We ordered wine. This was a mistake on my end, because about an hour later I started to feel really tired and sleepy.

I asked her what kind of trouble she was getting into this week, and she laughed and noted that this week was pretty good, but that she had a really rough week last time (this is the girl that flaked on me presumably to set up a party last week). Anyway, almost immediately her body language started to mirror mine, and it stayed this way for the full date. She was leaning back a bit into her chair, but her upper body was turned facing me while our knees were barely touching. Her legs were uncrossed the entire time, her right hand was always on her lap or between her legs, and her left was mirroring my right hand and was going behind the back of the chair. So even though we were next to each other we were kinda turned to face each other. Good eye contact. She put her hair into a pony tail about 5 min after sitting down.

We started by talking about traveling and sharing our experiences, and discover that she seems like she enjoys traveling but doesn't get enough of it. Conversation moved all over the place to family, and funny drunk stories of our friends and her brothers (where they did dumb shit), to music festivals, and such. The point is that she was very much engaged, and it was good.

I definitely screwed up my pull attempt. Really stupid. Early in the night I mentioned that I hadn't eaten, and I had just cooked some food the night before (which I did). At some point later I mentioned I was hungry, and I suggested we should grab some food. I told her I knew this fajita place nearby. She started asking about the name, and I told her I didn't remember, but it was right down the street. This girl knows like...every place in this town, so she started throwing out names. I switched conversation, then mentioned that maybe I'll just go eat what I cooked. She asked what I cooked, and I named the ingredients, and she guesses fajitas. Then she puts the two together and asks me if I meant that this place is my apartment, and I said maybe. She then went into rejection on this idea, and said that she definitely doesn't feel comfortable going back to my place. I brought up a yes ladder - she was having a good time and wanted the night to continue, but wouldn't budge on going back to my place. I stopped pushing but then looked at her and asked her what in the world was on her mind right now. She denied having anything on her mind, and just said she doesn't feel comfortable, but we can get food somewhere else. I was dumbstruck, didn't really know what to say. Soon after she asks how old I am, and guesses 27 on the third try. Then she reveals she's 29, and she says she doesn't really hang out with younger guys. I tell her that I find I usually get along better with people older than me, but I didn't know why. Conversation continues on something else for ten minutes. I'm starting to feel a little sleepy and sick now. Drinks may have been a mistake. She's wide awake and wants to go do something else.

I paid for her drink and mine, and we started to leave the bar to go find food. I guided her out the front door with my hand on the small of her back. She kept her hands in her pockets the entire time. We go to this place I wanted to see, but it's closed. I again tried to go for the pull, and she reaffirms she's not going back to my place. We walk around a little bit, but don't find anything. She thanks me for drinks, I say she can get me another time. Two blocks later I just told her that we should call it a night tonight, and she agrees. I try to go for the kiss in front of this tea house that she says is good and worth trying sometime. She first pulls away and starts laughing, says "Ah, going in for the kill huh?" and I reply "what kill?" and she then tells me that I can kiss her on the cheek. I try to persist and maneuver for a peck on the lips, and she denies a few times, so I go for a kiss on both cheeks. She gave me a one handed hug, but it was fairly close. I just grabbed her by the arm gently and kissed her. She said "I'll talk to you soon," and I turned and walked off saying "Have a good night!" and then we parted ways.

I texted her the day after about a great evening, but didn't hear back. Today I texted her as well:

ME: Ashley - hey! Was thinking we should get together again soon - play pool or darts one evening this week. What do you think?
HER: Honestly GP, you were very disrespectful at the end of the night on Wednesday and I don't really think I'd like to go out again. Best of luck.
ME: Thank you for your honesty, Ashley. Take care.

Lessons here:
- I moved in for the kill way, way too soon, before she was comfortable with me and before she could really trust me.
- I moved in before an escalation window presented itself. By moving ahead before she was ready, that actually put her off.
- I was also deceptive and unclear in where we were going afterwards when I was trying to bring her to my place, and it wasn't smooth. I can't blame her for not wanting to go out with me again - it was my fault for losing her trust and faith.
- I should have kept that night going by moving her around more, by getting a bite to eat and then going out to play pool or darts, rather than the way I cut it off. I lost confidence midway through and that's something that shouldn't happen again. I should have absolutely toughed it out after the first escalation attempt, and kept the night going longer without escalating again.

----

LR: Hawaiian Intern in my Office

I had a perfect first date to LR three weeks ago. It was incredible – I think I’ve found a good date template I can use.

I’m not gonna lie – I have a bit of a fetish for seducing interns – whether they’re in my city for the summer (and there are many during the summer time), or whether they actually work in my office (as long as they don’t work with me). My current office is very small – under 15 people total – but we do have interns once in a while that work part time, with high turnover after they are here for a few months. And even though our office is small, the intern and I sit at the extreme opposite ends of the office, and I never work directly with them.

The current intern is from Hawaii, born and raised, but her family is from the Philippines. 5’-2”, light brown skin with Asian features, average body, slender arms and legs with really nicely sized boobs – probably C cups. I thought she was 23 but found out later she’s 28.

I’ve seen her around for a couple of months, and while we were friendly we never really talked in depth and I didn’t learn too much about her. This changed in mid January – I saw her making her lunch in our kitchen as I was getting a refill of water. So I took the opportunity to talk to her a bit, and after incorrectly guessing she’s from South America, she tells me she’s from Hawaii. We chat about this a bit, and I decide to set up some tea for myself to talk to her a little longer. Close to the end I tell her that we should continue talking about this over coffee, so we can get to know each other better. She agrees, but alas I did not have my phone with me. She gives me this look that basically says “later…” as we’re in the office with lots of people, so I took the cue and got my tea and left.

The next day on my way out of work I see her again, and this time went to her desk and got her number. She remembered she had to give it to me.


SET-UP:


Monday Night, four days after the Save My Number text:

ME: Joy – hey! Just got back from the Midwest. I was thinking we should grab that coffee we were talking about. How’s your schedule this week?
<She responded almost instantly>
HER: Hey GP! Welcome back. How was it? B----- had asked me to work today, so I’m scheduled to work at my other job tomorrow night. I’m free only Sat night. But next week, I should be available on Tuesday. Just let me know.
ME: It was great! Always fun to get away – don’t you think? Had no idea you were working two jobs. Saturday night might work for me. Ever visited Hawthorne?
HER: Unfortunately this internship is not cutting it by itself. Never been to Hawthorne.
ME: I know that feeling…Hm, why don’t we aim for Saturday around 6? We can figure out the details later in the week.
HER: Can we do about 7? I work in the AM. But we can figure it out this week.
ME: Might need to start calling you Ms. Workaholic . Yeah sounds good…have a good night.
HER: You might have to. Good night.

I saw her briefly at work on Thursday, but we didn’t talk, so I texted her that evening.

Thursday Night:

ME: Joy – hey! Cool color you were wearing today. Saturday 7, 7:30 still good for you, or am I going to have to kidnap you from work? =)
HER: Thank you for noticing. Yes we are totally on for Saturday!
ME: Cool, since you’ve never been before why don’t we meet in Hawthorne?
ME: <Café and Address>
HER: Sorry…so busy here. That sounds good. Hopefully I don’t get lost
ME: Ha – well, if you need directions don’t hesitate to ask! Good luck tonight.
HER: Thank you! I am so tired. Probably won’t get out of here till 1.
ME: Causing trouble in the streets till the wee hours of morning eh?
HER: Something like that. No, it’s my other job I had to run to after work today
ME: I figured…you seemed like you were in a hurry.
HER: It’s fine though. I rather be working
ME: Haha you’re crazy …there are also far better things than working. This girl needs a break. Soon.
HER: I really do!

----

I sent her an anti-flake on Saturday afternoon, and we were good. She was running a little late, and she apologetically texted me several times. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, telling her to take her time.


MEET - 7:25pm


I’m standing outside the café leaning against the wall and surfing the web on my phone, right by the door. She’s running late, but soon enough I see a figure pull up besides me, and it’s her. She’s super excited, greeting me with an exclaimed “Hey GP!” and then apologizes for the tardiness. We joke about her getting lost on the subway.

HER: Well it’s so GOOD to see you! <As she says this, she extends her arm and basically grabs my love handle nearest to her, and holds for three seconds. Sexual vibe’s already feeling good.>
ME: You too! So have you eaten yet? Because I figured you just got off work, so we can grab a bite while we have a coffee.
HER: I did eat just a little, but yeah I could use something.
ME: I know a good spot about ten minutes away – great coffee and food. Why don’t we head there?
HER: Sounds good, where do we go.
ME: Let’s go this way, I’ll show you a little bit of Hawthorne.

I lead her by her elbow lightly and we proceed to walk towards this café that happens to be right across the street from my apartment. Excellent logistics. I take her on a longer route along the waterfront (which has views of the skyline) and she’s really excited to see this neighborhood, asking me all sorts of questions and me back to her about how long she’s been around town, and about her career aspirations. Turned out she moved to this side of the country from Hawaii less than a year ago, and also changed professions - now working two jobs to pay the bills, at my office and at a comedy club as a bartender. Light physical contact on my part on her elbows as we walk and talk, and she’s following my lead.

Soon enough we get to the café.


CAFE - 7:40pm


We order two Café con Leche’s at this place and then sit down – they serve you at the table. I’m sitting at a 90 angle to her. No one else around except the barista.

We deep dived about an extensive range of topics, from her career aspirations to her family, friends, and reasons for moving this way, and travel and hobbies. Some roommate experiences, some romance experiences. And in this discussion some key information emerges – she was in a seven year relationship from age 17 till 25, and has since wanted to leave the small town nature of Hawaii and start anew in this city, where she has the freedom and opportunity to build a career and zealously enjoy life outside a small circle of people. She brings up an old roommate of hers who ended up moving out because she was having a child with a boyfriend, and told me that while she wants kids eventually, it’s not for her right now. I use this opportunity to bring forth a couple of ideas:

• I suggest that sometimes people get into relationships too quickly, and that while passion is great and welcome, and you should never burn out a flame when it starts, you should definitely also be careful about commitment early. She agrees with me 100%.
• I qualify her as a very open minded person, and quite brave for taking a leap of faith for moving out here on a whim (she didn’t even have a job at the time). And we talk about how good it is to be non-judgemental and free spirited in life to achieve the best results.
• I qualify her and discover she’s also a spontaneous person, and likes to embrace the unexpected and the unknown. It’s a thrill and live is meant to be lived.
• I also bring up that there’s nothing wrong with being single – that some people are fearful of this, but it’s best to embrace this and use it as an opportunity. No need to put labels on things too soon. She agrees with everything.

I also noticed during the date that by and large we were mirroring our body language. She was also making many nervous movements, and also touched herself on the knee a lot while leaning into me.

So after deep diving and playful rapport, I also compared her tiny and slender hands to mine. Her skin is very soft. We play a game where one person closes their eyes while holding another’s hand, and then guesses an object they like in the room. It was a good opportunity to hold hands – her grip was firm.

I suggest that we go grab food, and mention there’s a great place with fajitas nearby. She tells me she loves fajitas. But she hasn’t finished her drink yet, so after giving her some shit we wait and deep dive some more. When she’s done I get up and pay, and she follows.

*Funny note from this part: While I was deep diving her and gazing at her face, I quickly glanced over and saw the Barista with her elbows on the bar, head in her hands, staring directly at me with bedroom eyes. Wow, firm interest there I suppose? I smiled at her and she quickly looked away and went to do something else.


PULL - 8:30pm


We walk half a block (zero physical contact between us), cross the street and I turn to the door into my building.

HER: Oh wow, so this where you live?
ME: Yup, we’re going to eat fajitas, and you’re going to help me make them.
HER: Cool, I want to see what your place looks like!

We walk up the stairs and into my apartment. I have her take off her shoes with me at the door, and then help her with her coat. She compliments the place – it’s cozy. I offer water, she declines. I tell her that she’s going to help me, I start pulling out tortillas out of the fridge and some rice from the pantry. We talk about who’s going to do what, and we discover that we’re both bad at making rice. She’s at the kitchen to the left of the stove, I am directly in front of it. Her torso is facing me, mine is facing the stove. I propose a thumb war to settle who makes the rice, and we link hands to do a thumb war. This goes on for a minute while there’s no clear victor and we’re both laughing enthusiastically.

HER: Oh my god, you’re going easy on me, you’re just going to let me win…
<We are standing apart about 18” at this point, and she’s on the other side of the stove. Without moving where I am standing and while we’re still playing, I project my upper body to quickly bring my face to half an inch from hers. Now are lips are aligned, she looks down, closes her eyes, and kisses. We kiss slowly and deeply three times, and then…>
HER: …I win…[smiles]
<I look down and she has her thumb firmly over mine. Hilarious.>
ME: I guess you do…
<We kiss once more, and it’s far longer. She moves and fully embraces me while standing, her hands now wrapped behind my waist.>
HER: Looks like we’re not making those fajitas huh….
ME: If you say so.

I lead her to the bed, and I pick her up and position her to straddle me. We fall down on the bed. After more kissing and some nibbling around her ears and neck her breathing has gotten extremely heavy, and she’s starting to moan. I start rubbing her pussy through her jeans. When I do this she grabs my hand gently. I start guiding it under her pants and she pulls my hand out, then protests.

HER: Oh my God, GP…what are we doing? Oh my God….
<I say nothing, keep kissing>
HER: I wasn’t expecting this, oh my God.
<I say nothing, keep kissing. >
HER: I can’t believe we’re doing this.
ME: Feel’s good right?
HER: Yes...
ME: This is going to be our little secret.
HER: Of course!
ME: You’re good with those, right?
HER: Haha, I’m not going to tell anyone we know, don’t worry.
ME: Ok, great.

After this there was no more LMR. This followed with three false starts – after we are fully naked it turns out that she is soaking wet and very, very turned on. She asks if I have a condom, and I go to pull one on – and the moment I put it on, I lose my erection. Uh oh. I panicked a little bit, but kept going and went to finger her instead. I’m already in my head, so when I try a second time it happens again. I decide to say something:

ME: Yeah…so I think I have a lot of anxiety right now.
HER: Don’t worry about it! Don’t worry about making me feel good, just do what you have to do.

Sometimes weed helps me, so I told her this and she was cool with me smoking. We take a break and I set up a vape to smoke weed, and she pulls out an E-cig. Turns out she’s a cool chick – very open minded and used to smoke herself. Smoking is interspersed with kissing.

I bring her to the bed again, and the same thing happens. I still have anxiety when putting on the condom. So finally I take a break in bed again, and think “fuck it” and went in without wrapping. She didn’t say anything and just lay back in pleasure.

We fuck. Take a break.

We fuck again. I could feel her come a few times. Another break.

We fuck again. She is still very wet. This girl is really horny and starts talking about doing this all night. She’s also damn good and moves herself in perfect synchrony with me.

Took a break to make fajitas together, sat on the couch and ate.

After food I set up a movie – turns out The Interview is now on Netflix.

We fucked a few times during the whole movie.

It ends and we both go to the bathroom. Then we fucked again. It feels really good.

It’s almost 2am at this point. She has work at 10am tomorrow till 1am. Ouch. That means she either goes home now and sleeps at her place, or spends the night at mine. I talk to her about train schedules, and offer to walk her to the station. She declines, and after thinking it over decides to stay the night and leave around 7 tomorrow.

So we fuck again. She had an exceptionally powerful orgasm this time, and through the rest of the night was dazed and lightheaded. Said she was weak at the knees and couldn’t think straight. It feels good to be able to do that.

Then we put on some clothes and walk around the block to grab a toothbrush. At first I didn’t hold hands, just grabbed her by the back of her neck and kissed her once and then we walked separately. But later on the walk back we did connect and hold hands like a couple. I’d like to know if this is setting the right tone, or am I pushing this too far into boyfriend land?

Come home and sleep, and at some point in the night I woke her up again for more sex and another lightheaded outcome. She let herself out at 7am; though I was awake, she didn’t want me to walk her to the subway stop and simply kissed me goodbye as I was naked in bed. She could barely speak straight - but did mention she's working on Wednesday that week.

I texted her at 5pm the next day:

ME: Hey Joy, had a great time last night. Hope you aren’t too tired today
HER: I am DYING! I am downing coffees like no other! But I had a great time as well.
ME: Lol…you and your coffee. Hang in there tonight.

Anyway, I've seen her three times so far, just once a week approximately every six days on a Friday and a Thursday night. She's been coming over and we've been sleeping together a lot (quite possibly the best sex I've ever had), with some other activities on the side like watching a movie or making food together. I've since avoided holding hands with her as much as I can, and I've been setting a very dominant frame and leading her through everything. The last two times we hung out she texted me first to thank me for an amazing night, so things are looking good here. She doesn't text me and I only text her to hang out, so even though we haven't talked about where we are, things are looking good on this front. I hope this continues.

What do you guys think?

 

[ray_zorse]

Joy -- lovely. No real comment to make except that the fajita pull clearly works

Ashley -- clearly the chick was gaming you, I hate these hardcore suspicious types who question everything and interrogate the fuck out of you instead of accepting your leadership. I understand her frame was one of innocence and needing comfort, but frankly she knew the score and by calling you out on the pull she kinda negated this innocent frame, didn't she. Attention whore, looking to make you invest.

You have to treat the interrogation as a shit test and laugh it off, you can try to give a little comfort initially by perhaps indicating the direction it's in and saying hey, the fajitas are safe, best in town... but if it continues just laugh and say hey, you hungry or not? Coulda got there in the time u spent busting my stones about it, chill girl u can see for yourself haha... instead of justifying / trying to sell it to her.

Having said all that, you did go for the pull too early. How was your deep diving, was she sharing? How was her compliance, was she moving with you, sitting where you told her, looking after your shit when you go to bathroom, buying rounds for you, giving you her hand to examine her jewellery, letting you touch her hair? How was her investment, was she filling gaps in the conversation, was she pushing you for information about yourself? I would check these things, and if in good shape go for the pull or some other escalation without delay.

I think you may be misunderstanding escalation windows a little. If she gives you a window it means do not bother assessing where you stand as described above, just move fast, escalate (physically or logistically) or you will lose her. However, many (most?) girls do not give a window, at least not to me, at my current level. So you just have to make your own call on when/whether to burn it down. I moved too fast w 18yo VN chick yesterday, but I do not regret it, because she might have been totally DTF, without making a move I would never have known though.

You're right though, there is a bit of an art to backing off and re-escalating if you didn't calibrate correctly and had you been in state you might have nailed this, it's not a specialty of mine though.

-Ray

 

[Mr.Rob]

GP man I love this journal entry. It's awesome to read someone's reports I can relate to very well. It's one thing to read Anatman getting wasted, hopping up on a table and yelling at bitches to suck his dick (in which they readily line up), while spewing champagne on the crowd.

Then there's the reports of the guys that are like "I saw girl X today and I really like her. Thinking about asking her out... I've been waiting 6 months for the perfect moment! I think it's getting closer! Should I do it?" which you know we've all been there but there's not much to learn.

However reading your reports I feel like I'm close enough to you in skill set caliber that I can relate perfectly while still learning a lot and take something away.

Thoroughly enjoyed this!

I suggested we should grab some food. I told her I knew this fajita place nearby. She started asking about the name, and I told her I didn't remember, but it was right down the street.

I've had this happen a couple times.

It's always a bit nerve racking to tell a girl you don't truly know that you're about to go back to your house on the first date, but honestly I think being direct, say it like it's not a big deal like there's no reason in the world she would have a objection, and then changing the subject normally goes a long way.

I used to have this problem because no matter where I was picking up back home (and even where I currently live) it was at minimum 20 minute drive back to my house so I couldn't be like "yeah follow me to this cool restaurant that I'm not going to tell you about!" and expect her to come.

Always have a good excuse. If your gluten free/sugar free then you have a REALLY good excuse not to eat out. I used that one A LOT and it works. I don't eat sugar or gluten but the no sugar is the best.

I take a date out for dinner ----> then if we're still having fun yes ladder to have her agree to get desert -----> break the news in a "oh I just remembered" type of way that I can't get desert anywhere because I don't eat sugar -------> Propose we'll stop by my house and eat fresh picked berries and rant/rave about the health aspects of how awesome my berries are (they're actually frozen Walmart berries but hey she doesn't really care anyway right?) --------> We drive to my house -------> I make the berries up ------> We eat 2 berries each ------> Bangtown USA

I again tried to go for the pull, and she reaffirms she's not going back to my place. We walk around a little bit, but don't find anything. She thanks me for drinks, I say she can get me another time.

I always feel somewhat emasculated when this happens like I failed to be the dominant masculine lover polarity I wish to act through that would've inspired her to WANT to get pulled.

I dunno if that's the reason you went for the kiss despite her seeming unreceptiveness but I probably would've done the same thing just to be like "yeah well at least I acted through my own intentions".

Btw super lame that she was like "going in for the kill?" like your some two year old misbehaving.

The next day on my way out of work I see her again, and this time went to her desk and got her number. She remembered she had to give it to me.

I like this, most guys would've probably said "more fish in the sea" and never taken what they wanted.

HER: Looks like we’re not making those fajitas huh….

Absolutely beautiful!

You getting back on the mic soon to get another podcast? Miss those as well.

Keep it pimpin

-Rob

 

[Rage]

Agreed with the other guys, this is an awesome LR GP!

The precedent you set with the girl sounds fine; sounds like you clearly know what you’re doing and that she can see that just as well.

She sounds in looks very similar to a Hawaiian girl a friend of mine has been with for 5+ years. Really attractive girl; hope I get to sleep with a Hawaiian girl one day

 

[ray_zorse]

Actually I did just have one further comment to make on plausible deniability.

Remember it's plausible deniability... not absolute deniability. I reckon it works best if you seed early in the conversation where you live (I live close to the market)... and then later seed something like "I'm gonna teach you to cook x food"... and then when you go for the pull, something like "okay let's go cook some food" "where are we going?" "somewhere with a kitchen"... this has worked for me on multiple occasions. So you see the plausible deniability is as weak as hell. It can also work if you just say you're going back to your place but give some reason for it like watching a film. Or if you're downstairs and you say "come up for a sec I just have to go to the toilet". The idea is kinda with the subcommunication tell her what's going to happen, but don't mention any keywords that will trigger her ASD such as "my place". This way you're on the same page. What concerns me about the fajita pull is that she might be genuinely surprised when she ends up at your house and therefore make trouble. I think you should only try this on hard cases who have their bitch shields up and demand to be gamed in order to feel important. (Read Tucker Max... some of his "translations" of what girls say are hilarious).

-Ray

 

[Grand Pooba]

Thank you for reading my journal, guys! Really appreciate your feedback.

Joy -- lovely. No real comment to make except that the fajita pull clearly works

This was a fun, solid LR.

Ashley -- clearly the chick was gaming you, I hate these hardcore suspicious types who question everything and interrogate the fuck out of you instead of accepting your leadership. I understand her frame was one of innocence and needing comfort, but frankly she knew the score and by calling you out on the pull she kinda negated this innocent frame, didn't she. Attention whore, looking to make you invest.

I'm not sure if she was gaming me, actually, as much as she was just protecting herself. Considering that we didn't know each other at all, she seemed to be the type of person that needs to be comfortable with a man before being sexual with him. She definitely did not come across as an innocent, inexperienced person anymore, but consequently I did, by not being patient or letting the date play out.

You have to treat the interrogation as a shit test and laugh it off, you can try to give a little comfort initially by perhaps indicating the direction it's in and saying hey, the fajitas are safe, best in town... but if it continues just laugh and say hey, you hungry or not? Coulda got there in the time u spent busting my stones about it, chill girl u can see for yourself haha... instead of justifying / trying to sell it to her.

What I should have done is admitted that it was my place that the fajitas are at, then make a giant joke out of it - "I'm just kidding, we'd never go back to my place because I am not that easy. However, I do know another place down the street <and name the alternative>."

Having said all that, you did go for the pull too early.

I went way before I moved her a few times, and before she was truly comfortable with me. This would have probably been ok if I didn't keep going for it, but I kept it up and that freaked her out more.

GP man I love this journal entry. It's awesome to read someone's reports I can relate to very well. It's one thing to read Anatman getting wasted, hopping up on a table and yelling at bitches to suck his dick (in which they readily line up), while spewing champagne on the crowd.

Then there's the reports of the guys that are like "I saw girl X today and I really like her. Thinking about asking her out... I've been waiting 6 months for the perfect moment! I think it's getting closer! Should I do it?" which you know we've all been there but there's not much to learn.

However reading your reports I feel like I'm close enough to you in skill set caliber that I can relate perfectly while still learning a lot and take something away.

I feel the same way with yours, Rob.

It's always a bit nerve racking to tell a girl you don't truly know that you're about to go back to your house on the first date, but honestly I think being direct, say it like it's not a big deal like there's no reason in the world she would have a objection, and then changing the subject normally goes a long way.

I used to have this problem because no matter where I was picking up back home (and even where I currently live) it was at minimum 20 minute drive back to my house so I couldn't be like "yeah follow me to this cool restaurant that I'm not going to tell you about!" and expect her to come.

Always have a good excuse. If your gluten free/sugar free then you have a REALLY good excuse not to eat out. I used that one A LOT and it works. I don't eat sugar or gluten but the no sugar is the best.

I take a date out for dinner ----> then if we're still having fun yes ladder to have her agree to get desert -----> break the news in a "oh I just remembered" type of way that I can't get desert anywhere because I don't eat sugar -------> Propose we'll stop by my house and eat fresh picked berries and rant/rave about the health aspects of how awesome my berries are (they're actually frozen Walmart berries but hey she doesn't really care anyway right?) --------> We drive to my house -------> I make the berries up ------> We eat 2 berries each ------> Bangtown USA

Yes, I think I should definitely be a little more direct, and even if she does have any objection I can extend the date longer to get her more comfortable, presumably. But mainly still need to look for the escalation windows - my big mistake with the FR. There were several in the LR.

Btw super lame that she was like "going in for the kill?" like your some two year old misbehaving.

I think this was pointing out her discomfort.

Agreed with the other guys, this is an awesome LR GP!

The precedent you set with the girl sounds fine; sounds like you clearly know what you’re doing and that she can see that just as well.

She sounds in looks very similar to a Hawaiian girl a friend of mine has been with for 5+ years. Really attractive girl; hope I get to sleep with a Hawaiian girl one day

Gem, thanks! Hawaiian girls are really something else, from what I've garnered so far. Really enjoying it.

 

[Grand Pooba]

So after a long hiatus, I'm back! It's been a bit of struggle getting back into the swing of things, not going to lie. I also basically quit seduction for all of February and the majority of March, after having one very bad date and one really bad interaction that rocked me to my core. Both were girls I met off cold approach, one at a bar and one in the subway, but after both cases I just felt pretty shitty about myself and where I was going.

• 
  Feeling like I am too pushy in my interactions with women - essentially being far too aggressive
  Folding my cards too quickly due to impatience with the way things progress
  Not being patient enough with women or looking for escalation windows - essentially feeling a
  Outcome dependence - when things don't go my way, I am affected by them.

• 
  Texting poorly / inelegantly / without connection
  - Not bringing up or calling back emotions we felt together.
  - Some additional detail to add from my life to make me feel human to a girl.
  Behaving subordinately with her in the face of her shortness with you, which includes
  - Excusing or rewarding a woman's bad behavior.
  - Couching and submissive language from me to her.
  Tone-deaf follow-up
  - Contacting a girl too many times in a week - i.e. not taking her schedule nor her behavior to me into account.
  - Fighting against precedent.

• 
  How to text girls properly.
  Learning to be a dominant man (turns out I am pretty subservient by nature, which I just discovered, and I really need to reverse this life pattern)
  Making women feel special (turns out I don't)
  Dealing with women that test, which I run into a lot.
  Learning proper frame control.
  Learning how to be more of an asshole - because I come from a nice-guy background and I still defect to such behavioral patterns without even realizing it

Quite the loaded list of circumstances. Anyway, it's time to get back into the swing of approaching and dating consistently.

Now for an update on my real-time situation with women:
I'm seeing two women at the moment - it feels essentially like a primary and secondary relationship.

The primary relationship is with the intern in my office (from one of my earlier posts above). She's sexy as hell (and I have a big thing for tan skinned Asian chicks) and she's fucking phenomenal in bed. We started by seeing each other just once a week, but as of late it's been moving up to as much as three or four times a week. Every hangout has been essentially the same - she comes over at night, we smoke or chill or have dinner, and we fuck between 3 and 10 times before she leaves the next morning. I've never been with a girl so horny, but she just can't get enough and loves to fuck me. She comes almost constantly when we fuck (sometimes takes maybe ten seconds!), and she says it's only been like this with me and not with other men. Incidentally, she's told me several times that she's falling for me (and quite frankly I like hanging out with her, so I may be ok with this), but also is a very anti-relationship girl and really doesn't want to be in one right now. Another major implication here is that we work together, which has made things a bit awkward for her and even moreso if we were actually a thing. After talking about it several times, we've essentially settled on being in some kind of quasi-open relationship where we can both see anyone we want, but we continue to be friends that fuck all the time. An ideal situation, but I do have questions about how long this can realistically last. Additionally, I'm not sure what's going to happen as I add more women into my rotation - will she get turned off that I'm not seeing her as much?

The secondary relationship is with a girl I slept with once last year and didn't write an LR about. We somehow stayed in touch, and after some back and forth I invited her over to hang out for brunch, and instead we just fucked. Haha! Well, after that she was a little bitter and wondered what I've been up to all this time, and was a little pissed because she felt like I just used her for sex and didn't feel any connection. I worked with this and tried to calm her down, but following this she incessantly texts me with questions about what things mean with us, and where this is going. I straight up told her that I'm not looking to jump back into a relationship just yet, and that maybe we should just be friends and not actually hook up at all. Well, following this she continued to text me and suddenly after noticing my lack of interest has reversed course and now wants to try out this open relationship thing as well. So I've told her about the intern and made it very clear that I'm going to keep seeing other women, and she now wants to experience what that feels like. I had coffee with her earlier this week and didn't make any physical moves on her at all, just to make sure she's level headed and knows what she's getting into. She was over last night and we sealed the deal again.

I've also been going on dates with an Indian chick I met off a dating app. It's been three dates so far and though we have kissed, she has resisted all my efforts to bring her home to my place and take things to the next level. What it felt like to me is that she wanted to take me on as a provider and not as a lover, as she always brought up how men are supposed to be romantic, pay for their dates, and be gentlemanlike. After all, romance to her is being spoiled with expensive dinners, or being walked to the subway and back, or paying for her cabs, etc. I've pretty much broken all these rules, going dutch every time and even making her pay for a $50 dinner we had on date 3. Funny how that worked too - I was going to pay for my half, and she told me that it's not romantic when people split things like friends, why not just pay this one and then the other person can pay the next time? I took her on her word and told her "OK, cool, so you pay for this then and I'll treat you to dinner next time!" while simultaneously taking my credit card off the bill. She was quite taken aback yet more turned on, and we got drinks afterwards. I anticipated that she would try to resist going home after this, and instead (because I have my own rule of cutting contact if nothing happens by date 3) told her that what we've been doing feels more like being friends and not romantic, so maybe we should just be friends instead and stop doing this. She was again taken aback by this and has been chasing me more ever since trying to set up another meet. We have a date tonight and I am having her meet me at my apartment for dinner, blasting through a bunch of resistance about her being nervous and uncomfortable about meeting me there.

Let's see what happens!

 

[Mr.Rob]

after having one very bad date and one really bad interaction that rocked me to my core. Both were girls I met off cold approach, one at a bar and one in the subway, but after both cases I just felt pretty shitty about myself and where I was going.

Quite the loaded list of circumstances. Anyway, it's time to get back into the swing of approaching and dating consistently.

Glad you came back to fight another day Pooba. I can't say I've ever had a bad interaction that made me want to get my mind right but I've definitely experience quite a few personal failings that sting pretty bad but those typically motivate me more.

However it can do some good to shift focus and let your thoughts sort themselves out before coming back again full swing fully recharged. Emotions don't last forever anyway.

As far as the loaded list of circumstances goes, yeah I think we all have a list of that nature. Just tackle them one at a time in order of importance (sort of like an extended to do list) and you'll be a boss in no time (and then you'll find another list that long in another area of your life). Plus I see a couple you can work on simultaneously.

My typical default is to function to nice guy behavior as well. For me it came down to being proactive and understanding better why I fall into such patterns. The book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover helped me understand the inner workings of a nice guys psychology and why they act the way they do. Plus it also gives a lot of reasons why being a nice guy is so detrimental to ones masculinity and self respect. A great read if you're interested. (I have it on my kindle so if you have a kindle I might be able to let you borrow it. PM if so)

we fuck between 3 and 10 times before she leaves the next morning. I've never been with a girl so horny, but she just can't get enough and loves to fuck me.

Jesus Christ man sounds glorious. At least you haven't been on a dry spell during your time off haha!

Additionally, I'm not sure what's going to happen as I add more women into my rotation - will she get turned off that I'm not seeing her as much?

Interesting question that I don't have the answer to and would be interested in what a guy actually decent with relationships would say about this.

However in speculation I would imagine it's none of her business and that you both have the same expectations so it shouldn't even come up, but I'm a newb and don't know what I'm talking about.

expensive dinners, or being walked to the subway and back, or paying for her cabs, etc. I've pretty much broken all these rules, going dutch every time and even making her pay for a $50 dinner we had on date 3. Funny how that worked too - I was going to pay for my half, and she told me that it's not romantic when people split things like friends, why not just pay this one and then the other person can pay the next time? I took her on her word and told her "OK, cool, so you pay for this then and I'll treat you to dinner next time!" while simultaneously taking my credit card off the bill. She was quite taken aback yet more turned on, and we got drinks afterwards. I anticipated that she would try to resist going home after this, and instead (because I have my own rule of cutting contact if nothing happens by date 3) told her that what we've been doing feels more like being friends and not romantic, so maybe we should just be friends instead and stop doing this. She was again taken aback by this and has been chasing me more ever since trying to set up another meet. We have a date tonight and I am having her meet me at my apartment for dinner, blasting through a bunch of resistance about her being nervous and uncomfortable about meeting me there.

Hahaha beautiful definitely no Mr. Nice Guy there!

I love this so much.

Good luck on the date tonight hopefully it'll pan out and you can get your harem on.

Look forward to more reports soon brotha man.

Keep it pimpin,

-Rob

 

[Grand Pooba]

Rob,

Thanks for your comments man! I honestly really appreciate that I have your support on the boards.

I've definitely experience quite a few personal failings that sting pretty bad but those typically motivate me more.

However it can do some good to shift focus and let your thoughts sort themselves out before coming back again full swing fully recharged. Emotions don't last forever anyway.

Interesting that for you personal failings motivate you more. For me I've always noticed that failings tend to afflict me hard, but I think this is because I've had a pessimistic outlook on life which I've just recently realized has been quite detrimental to a lot of my opportunities in life. I read the book "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman which really opened my eyes to this. In fact, in seduction (similar to sales) you absolutely must maintain optimism in the face of defeat to get anywhere and be anything. I've noticed that a lot in your reports - you fail all night yet persist and pursue due to unwavering optimism and drive.

The book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover helped me understand the inner workings of a nice guys psychology and why they act the way they do. Plus it also gives a lot of reasons why being a nice guy is so detrimental to ones masculinity and self respect. A great read if you're interested. (I have it on my kindle so if you have a kindle I might be able to let you borrow it. PM if so)

I actually bought this book a couple of years ago on kindle myself. It's a cue that maybe I need to read this once again.

Jesus Christ man sounds glorious. At least you haven't been on a dry spell during your time off haha!

Yeah, been having a lot of sex these days. I'm now considering that maybe I need to drop her, because having pussy on demand isn't motivating me to go meet new women and actively improve my skillset.

Good luck on the date tonight hopefully it'll pan out and you can get your harem on.

We did fool around a bit, but this girl is one that seems to want monogamy and I think it's also time to drop her. Lol.

Thanks for your comments!

 

[Lotus]

Interesting that for you personal failings motivate you more. For me I've always noticed that failings tend to afflict me hard, but I think this is because I've had a pessimistic outlook on life which I've just recently realized has been quite detrimental to a lot of my opportunities in life

I have just recently had to address this as well, and actually Rob was the one I spoke to. To have the strongest foundation you have to break yourself down to nothing..... and then I ran into this

Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger actually tweeted out to some kid about failing at the gym just the other day.

I always say don't be afraid of failure, because how far can you really fall? You found out — to the ground

Here's a link if your interested in the story it might provide some motivation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/03 ... 29846.html

But he as a fantastic point. One you fail and hit the bottom(sounds like you were close) there is no where to go but up. Any pain you feel from then on isn't even comparable.

I haven't read the book on learned optimism, so this may be addressed, but the way I see it. Pessimism is just a defense mechanism to protect yourself from failure. You assume the worse so if you fail it doesn't hurt so bad. Anything above the worst possible outcome feels like success, your ego is protected. The problem is it reduces your motivation to progress because anything but the worst is acceptable.

we fuck between 3 and 10 times before she leaves the next morning. I've never been with a girl so horny, but she just can't get enough and loves to fuck me.

you have an almighty libido, does this girl turn you on that much or have you always been that horny?

I'm trying to figure out if my problem is me, or I am just not that attracted to the girl I am fucking :|

 

[ray_zorse]

Have been enjoying the read about your relationships etc. Lots of interesting stuff going on there. Hopefully the areas where you feel you have to improve are not as big a problem as you make it sound. Also interested to hear whether any progress has been made with Indian chick? Actually, my situation is quite similar to yours ATM... former regular gf has been relegated to secondary status due to logistical / scheduling issues and isn't too happy about it (blown up my phone several times), got a new regular gf who I'm really liking, and am dating a girl who seems keen but hasn't given me a kiss yet, sounds a bit like your Indian chick.
Ray

 

[Grand Pooba]

Thanks again for reading.

But he as a fantastic point. One you fail and hit the bottom(sounds like you were close) there is no where to go but up. Any pain you feel from then on isn't even comparable.

This is true. And there's nowhere to go but up and nothing to lose moving forward. Thank you for the kind words.

I haven't read the book on learned optimism, so this may be addressed, but the way I see it. Pessimism is just a defense mechanism to protect yourself from failure. You assume the worse so if you fail it doesn't hurt so bad. Anything above the worst possible outcome feels like success, your ego is protected. The problem is it reduces your motivation to progress because anything but the worst is acceptable.

It's definitely a relationship between ego and motivation. The fear is to hurt the ego, but I also believe no progress can be made in life without hurting your ego and breaking it down to gain advanced knowledge and understanding.

we fuck between 3 and 10 times before she leaves the next morning. I've never been with a girl so horny, but she just can't get enough and loves to fuck me.


you have an almighty libido, does this girl turn you on that much or have you always been that horny?

She's a pretty girl, which definitely turns me on. I also like to smoke weed with her, which for me has the effect of giving a very strong hard on and no feeling of wanting to ejaculate during sex, ever. It's a nice element, and she doesn't get tired or sore ever it seems. She's has a high sex drive, and I'm not complaining!

Also interested to hear whether any progress has been made with Indian chick? Actually, my situation is quite similar to yours ATM... former regular gf has been relegated to secondary status due to logistical / scheduling issues and isn't too happy about it (blown up my phone several times), got a new regular gf who I'm really liking, and am dating a girl who seems keen but hasn't given me a kiss yet, sounds a bit like your Indian chick.

Indian chick isn't going to happen. I had her over at my apartment, and even though we made out a bit she was giving me tons of LMR and also had already made plans for after dinner to prevent anything from happening that night between us. In talking to her, it also seems she's looking for monogamy, and I suspect she hasn't had a lot of sexual relations with men and wants to protect herself. I also feel like she's slotted me in the provider role, and at this point there isn't much I can do about that. So I'm going to cut contact with her and take her out of the picture.

Anyway, the nice flexibility about having women in rotation is being able to call them at moments notice and have them over in a short while. After it became clear she wasn't going to be down for anything, I basically told her that I was feeling tired and was going to have an early night, while simultaneously texting my regular girl and telling her to come over in an hour or so. Indian chick left to go to her party, and my lover showed up an hour later and we had an awesome time.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Another month, another update.
I feel like I barely have any time to post these days, between work and harem management. What a problem this is to have.

Having run across another blog which feels similar to GC as a courtesy of Drexel Scott - www.blackdragonblog.com - I am learning more and more about proper management of multiple, simultaneous relationships. I imagine this is probably one of my core strengths in seduction - I have always had an extremely hard time getting girl's numbers, getting girls out on dates, and getting girls to truly see me as a lover and as a sexy man. However, once the two of us have slept together, I seem to not have a problem keeping them around.

So with that in mind - both relationships I mentioned in the last posts are still going strong, and in the last two weeks there's a third one in the rotation as well!

I've been seeing the Hawaiian girl since January, and we are still fucking like rabbits. However, our relationship has evolved a little bit - we are now spending a little more time outside of the house as well, doing things like going on a walk, or maybe having a drink out at a bar, or maybe eating outside. I see her about three times a week, and the sex hasn't died down much. There are of course a couple of dangers still here - whether this kind of behavior will entice her to seek exclusivity with me, or whether this behavior will cause some degree of betaization. I feel the push of the second one in particular - this girl is leaving her clothes at my place because she stays over so often. She hasn't

A few weeks ago at the end of April, she was actually logically and verbally seeking to end things with me. The reason for this is that one of her other lovers - someone she works with at her bar job - has been "talking" to her for about eight months; of course this means they've been having sex too. No judgement, no jealousy on my end. He sought out exclusivity with her, and basically unleashed his feelings for her, and thus she wanted to talk to me to basically end things. Upon seeing me, she couldn't do it, and instead we spent about an hour walking around at lunch talking about this and about the guy she's seeing. Turns out she still likes me a lot and even though she verbally said she wants to end it, her behavior was contradictory with attempting to hold my hand, kissing me all the time, and being very girly and feminine around me. So then we started talking about this other guy, and - this is pretty cool, I think - she started telling me, her lover, about the other guy she's seeing - who is trying to place himself as her boyfriend and provider. And she also explained her hesitations and her fears around this guy!

This provider thing just doesn't work for guys well.

The biggest kicker is that a couple of days later, that man criticized and judged her for going out too much and drinking too much, and as a result really soured their relationship (particularly after she flipped out about it with him the next day). I really like this situation - I'm the guy she sleeps with almost all the time, and I also get to hear about the mistakes other men are making with her. Hahaha.

Emotional and sexual connections are critical, you see.
And more important is to HOLD YOUR FRAME.
With the Hawaiian girl, whenever she talks about ending things with me, I always say something along the lines of "you know, I understand that you have other feelings, and I know you have to do what you have to. So do it if you must, and stop this if you must, but I would be sad to see you go, because I do care about you and I like the time we spend." Total freedom, and I mean it too. I do like her, but I wouldn't stop her from leaving. And this is partly why she stays.

When I have a little more time, I will write about the third girl in my rotation.
She's actually the Indian chick I wrote about two posts ago - after dropping contact with her for a few weeks, she came running back to me!
Stay tuned.

 

[Blessed]

Hey man, I'm new to the game and have not nearly as much experience as you but since school has ended for me I am going to take seduction more seriously and willing to learn from those who are better. Now I must admit out of all the guys who are on here, I feel you're one of the best and I say that because the progression you made in your journal's is phenomenal. With that being said I also struggle with the whole "lover" frame.

In the FR: Girl at the bar on a Snowstorm Night I can honestly see the same exact thing happening to me. Specifically me having a good rapport then all of a sudden trying to advance the interaction to a sexual and the girl reject my advances because its not congruent. Almost like trying to make a right-hand layup while jumping off your right leg. Anyway with the Hawaiian Intern it seems you have sexually liberated her and she loves you for that. My question what did you do differently because to me I think you got the "Lover" frame down.