FU Great night gone real bad

[Supah]

Just had this painfull experience, hope you guys can help me!


Last week i was having a normal night with my friends, just partying in some bars getting a bit drunk.
I live in a student city so there are lots and lots of different bars mainly to party. We were hanging out in one of my favourite bars at around 4 am when i decided to go and get something at my place, just something silly for a friend. My place was just 5-10 minutes walking so no problem.

I left the bar and walked down the street when i noticed a stunning girl walking alone.
As i walked by her i gave her a friendly smile and she smiled back, we started a conversation just some small talk but i made sure i immediately touched her lower arm and back as we continued our conversation so she was comfortable with me touching her. I asked her where she was going, she was on her way to her friends, in one of my favourite bars. It was only a 5 minute walk so i told her i was heading the same way and i accompanied her, we were having a good time so i asked her for a drink in a bar on the way. She agreed. By the time we entered she was already physically flirting with me so i was feeling confident.

We had our drink and talked a bit more, a little bit of deepdiving but not a lot. As i said we were already flirting and i was feeling confident so i went in for the kiss. Which worked out fine, i kissed her for just a few seconds, but after that i did notice a bit of resistance which did not really upset me.
I continued flirting with her and we went over to dance, i went in for the kiss again and this time it was longer. We continued dancing and she started touching me literally everywhere, we kissed a couple more times. I felt like i had to move things now and i asked her to go outside but she had to go to the bathroom first.
A couple minutes later we went outside and here is where it all started going wrong.

I was in heaven, i just met the cutest girl and had her kissing and touching me after 15 minutes of meeting me. But then she told me she still wanted to go say hi to her friends in the other bar. The idiot that i am i complied and i brought her there, it was like 1 minute walking. Instead i should have taken her to my apartment directly. I made a huge mistake and i still regret this.

We entered the bar and went to the back where her friends were. I was just standing there with her for a bout 2 seconds when one of her female friends pushed me away gentle but firm and she had this smile on her face that i couldn't really define but as i think back it had something evil but that might just be me. Later i found out that this was her sister. I first tought she was messing with me but as i walked back to my girl her sister pushed me away, harder this time. I looked at her like what is the problem with a playful kind of smile i continued past her but she pushed me away again. I'm not a weak guy i'm quite strong actually but i did not manage to talk to my girl because i did obviously not want to start pushing her sister away. Then suddenly some guys started pushing me away telling me to back off because she was not intrested in me, referring to the sister that was pushing me away. I said i didnt want her either and to leave me alone, i told them it was none of their businesses. Apparently they were friends from the sister that was pushing me away. Then on top of all that the sister started talking to the bouncer telling him that i was harassing her.
I could not believe what was happening.

Luckily i'm a regular customer so i did know the bouncer a bit, i explained him what happened and he told me it was fine.
Meanwhile i already texted some friends because i was there alone and i felt a lot of aggressiveness towards me and quite frankly this situation was getting on my nerves to. So they came over and i had the chance to explain what happened to my friends. They started talking to the male friends who were pushing me away earlier, these guys eventually came to apologise after they heard what happened so this was all cool.

I was still quite pissed because i had just seduced a really beautiful girl and then lost her an hour later because of her evil sister.
Anyway the evening ended peacefully with her and her sister leaving and me being sad and going home.
I just had a bad feeling the morning after but i got over it and decided that this week i would just continue with my normal routine, trying to pick up girls every night at bars and just forgetting about her.

I did notice her a couple of times monday, but i was to wasted to have a normal conversation with her. Then wednesday i was at the same bar again and only her sister was there i was just having fun with my friends not paying attention to her when she suddenly slapped me on the back of my head. I was quite surprised but did not really pay attention to it. So this tought crossed my mind that she might be in to me because she was clearly trying to get my attention. Well she isn't i found out this thursday, when i was just having a last drink at around 6 am.

They were both there and i went to the girl that i had seduced the week before, she did not want to talk with me which made me sad but i kind of understand after all that happened. So i backed of and went back to my friends but then her sister started talking to me, this was actually the first time she talked to me. I thought we could actually have a normal conversation but i was wrong, again. She told her i was stalking her and her sister and i denied that, she said that i was always there when they were there, i told her that i was free to come to this bar, which as i mentioned before is one of my favourite bars. She told me to leave and i told her that i would not leave and that she did not own the place. Eventually they both left and i was in a bad mood again.

Now i have a couple of questions:

1. What should i have done in the first situation where the sister pushed me away seconds after seeing me and not even talking to me.

2. How should you act in a general situation like that, with friends of your girl that are clearly not liking you but are not that aggressive.

3. What should i do now? I wont give up one of my favourite bars because of some pretentious girl but i cant let every time i'm there being ruined because she starts to push or slap me and tell me to go away even if i dont pay any attention to her.

4. Last but not least, I know that i should have taken her home immediately and not to her friends but what is the best/safest way to do this when she clearly wants to see her friends but does want me to.


So yeah, i know this is a long story but i wanted to give you as much details as i could..
This was the first time i was in a situation like this and i really didn't know how to act.
Thx for reading i hope some of you have a few tips for me!

Cheers, Supah

 

[MonsterzRock]

That was a difficult situation you were in. I don't think I've ever been in that situation
but have had something close to it. I guess the key is to keep your cool. And I've had to tell
myself that plenty of times, lol.

I think you already caught your own mistake...the timing of the "move" should have happened on
the dance floor when things were really heating up. And I haven't attempted or succeeded with this
move yet myself. So kudos to you for trying regardless.

I would have said this to the sister: "Oh, and who might you be?" And introduce yourself warmly.
I think if your girl hadn't introduced you to the others there first, then you should probably take
the initiative and introduce yourself to them. I don't know for sure but maybe that would help defuse
the situation. Or at the very least, make you look more socially savy than the rest of them.

I think my suggestion would answer the first 3 questions. Also for #3, I would just ignore them
all if possible. You mentioned having an "in" with a bouncer...maybe mention it to them beforehand.

I'm a working musician and the bouncers ALWAYS, ALWAYS have my back! But then again, I'm there to
do a job...entertain. We can't have crazy and/or really drunk people jumping on stage when
we're playing...and trust me, it happens frequently, hilarious at times, lol.

4. Not sure. Maybe get her number and wrap up conversation and leave.

 

[Supah]

Thank you for your advice!

I dont really care about that girl any more, i saw her yesterday and just ignored her.
There still is a problem though, her crazy sister.

EVERY time she sees me she starts freaking out, i don't understand why she is so obsessed by the fact that i kissed her sister and talked to her twice after that.
Last thursday at around 6 a.m i just went in a bar to see if there was still some friends of me around. there were only a few left one of them was a good friend, and i started talking to him. But she was there to, i didn't notice her when i came in. Then i see her, out of the corners of my eyes making gestures and pointing at me. I just pretended that she wasn't there, after a while she left. Before i went home i went up to the toilet and passed 3 people, one of them a girl i never saw before. This is what she says to me: 'so you are L's stalker?'. I honestly was really surprised that she is taking it that far. I said i wasn't and just continued.

I dont know how to solve this problem, she is actually stalking me because every time she sees me she starts pointing at me and lying to people about me being a stalker. I tried to talk to her but there its just impossible to have a normal conversation with her, and the fact that i only see her when she had a few drinks doesn't help either.

I talked to a bouncer that i know very well yesterday and he told me that if it happened again i had to come to him, so i'll see what that might lead to.

-Supah